No one is ever born shy. It is our conditioning and our upbringing which determines what we become, who we become and the people who we surround ourselves with. The relationship with our parents, siblings, school teachers, and the other children we mixed with in the early years set the foundation for our self-image. How you value yourself as a person today is really just a reflection of how you were valued as a child. It is all learned behaviour. If your parents always told you to be quiet and scolded you for speaking up then this type of behaviour will become a part of your consciousness and later on in life in social situations, you are unconsciously living by these rules. It comes across as shyness and is a difficult habit to break.
Telling someone who is shy and unsure of themselves in social situations that they need to talk to people more would be similar to telling someone in a wheel chair that they need to just get up and walk. Shy people have sometimes experienced pain in the past and void getting up too close and personal with others in order to avoid pain in the future. It is similar to a mistreated animal who finds it hard to trust humans because of the way they have been treated by them in the past.
Another cause of shyness is self-consciousness. Some shy people believe that they have a physical blemish in some way. The cosmetics industry plays on this by taking advantage of everyone's insecurities. It is important to accept who you are and change the things which are within your control.
The simple solution to shyness is to get out and about more because shyness can also be the result of lack of social interaction with others and for most shy people this is a double whammy. They are less inclined to get involved in activities which will help bring them out of their shell.
Getting involved in a physical activity such as sport will help you forget yourself because in the moments when you are involved, your mind is on something other than yourself and helps you to express yourself and your emotions much the same way as an animal that has a fear of humans will lose that fear when you go near their young.
The sense of satisfaction of just completed a 5k road race or having just exceeded your personal best time give you a sense of satisfaction and well-being which promotes self-esteen. It all helps you to come out of your shell.
People do not develop social skills overnight. They are the result of years of trial and error and plenty of practice. Just like a marathon runner will not get fit after just a few training runs. To be socially at ease with others requires you to develop these skills and if you have bad experiences from dealing with people which has caused you to live a sheltered life then this is going to require plenty of effort on your part but it can be done.
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