Moving From Miserable or Angry to Happy

"Letting go" is a phrase often touted, but seldom explained. And yet, there is no way to be happy until we learn how to do this. As humans, there is always something that we want. Buddhists speak of the Four Truths, and explain that it is constant desire that brings pain. It is difficult to be satisfied in the moment. Perhaps we can recall a time when we were satisfied, after winning an event, or after our newest heart-throb agrees to a date with us, or after a graduation. It is so difficult, and rare, to be satisfied from day to day that a course in Mindfulness costs hundreds to thousands of dollars. "Letting go" of the past and the future; of the desire to change the past, or to control the future is to be in the present and to be satisfied. One philosopher, Fulton Ousler, stated "Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future."

I just went through one of those weeks when I had paid a lot of bills, and then discovered that I needed to do some expensive work on my house quickly. A bird had broken through one of my window frames, so the window replacements I have wanted to do and planned to do in the future, now have to be done quickly. Ergo, I have been buying coffee in the morning with quarters from my piggy bank. You may have had a week like this. I had food in the house, was able to carry my lunch to work, and had available credit on credit cards, but no cash - except those quarters I had been throwing into the piggy bank. A few years ago, this would have made me feel "poor" and "busted", but not this week. I have felt grateful that the bills were paid and the credit cards had money available, and I was able to order the needed work on the house.

What did this entail? I was able to "let go" of the need to have cash in the bank. I was able to "let go" of the idea that I can or should control my future. I was able to "let go" of the fantasy that since I work hard each day, I "deserve" to feel wealthy. I was able to "let go" of the fantasy that since I am a good person, bad things shouldn't happen to me. Finally, the process of "letting go" often brings its own rewards. This week I discovered that I had been given a 6% raise at work, without any notification and without any request. I will receive it tomorrow. Last week I discovered that another payment I receive was increased by 20%, again without asking, which I will receive next week.

If I had stressed about the extra house expense, and if I had been angry that I didn't have more cash on hand, I would not have received the extra money. When we are stressed and angry, the Universe will cause us to land on the chutes (of Chutes and Ladders) until we learn to laugh at the game.

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