Don't Hold On To Your Anger

Growing up I heard different recipes for a life lived well, and while I received some stellar advice I rarely if ever- saw it being put to practice. While I was inspired to be free, courageous, truthful, loving and compassionate, I saw people around me riddled and haunted by fear, jealousy, dependency and despise. I am grateful for these people being there, for watching their lives and stories helped me learn and choose my path at a very young age. But while it was easy to choose love over hatred and compassion over fear, the choice that has been the hardest to master so far is the choice between anger and forgiveness.

How do you simply forget and forgive, and simply move on? How do you choose to not be enraged by the actions or words of another, especially when they unleash such an onslaught on one's mind, heart and spirit? How indeed does one tame anger?

To start with why does one need to tame anger or let go of it to begin with? Anger is really like a fire which must destruct in order to purify. This force has its place, such as when used to fuel a rebellion against injustice or when protecting our beloved; but how well we use and employ this force is deeply connected with how well we have mastered this force. For far too often instead of purifying and healing with it, we end up levelling the landscapes of our life with our own anger; instead of solving issues we end up merely destructing things. Further, just like fire- anger is pretty hard and resource intensive to keep contained. Like a constantly burning fire, any anger we hold on to is tricky to contain and is constantly consuming us or an aspect of our life. At the very least thus, holding on to anger is unhealthy, exhausting and dangerous.

Also we must recognize that anger is a response- there is always a deeper emotion at play which the anger masks. Holding on to anger therefore often keeps us from really getting to the heart of the matter. For example, if the comments of a friend anger you, it is because somewhere they were harsh and may have upset you; your anger is a response to your pain, sadness and disappointment. What is really needed is for you to express and communicate this pain to your friend in order to impress the real impact of her actions; however burning in anger it may be hard for you to expose your feelings and vulnerability, and you may just end up with a pointless argument that leads nowhere fruitful.

But no matter how dangerous or destructive anger is, it is not a disease or a shortcoming. Instead like every other potent aspect of human nature, it is a power and force waiting to be mastered. And here is where the most important reason for letting go of anger lies- we must no hold on to anger if we ever want to master this force. Fire- all fire- must be channeled in order to prevent it from consuming us, and thus it is with anger. Expression and forgiveness help channel this fire, and help us master this force- all in the interest of our own peace, personal development and wellness, as well as of those around us.

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