I was yelling at everyone, myself, people on road, in family, on job, and even at God. I was screaming even more at things going wrong, at circumstances, on vehicles parked wrongly or ATM machines not responding, at electricity problems in my vicinity. I was angry at life and the lemons it was handing me for no reason, apparently. But above all, I was annoyed on my current job setting and the problems it posed on my nerves.
There was no soft cushion for me amid my emotional turmoil and overwhelming nervousness, being single and alone and tired. There was no financial backup also for me to calm myself my taking a break from the daily rut of the things. Furthermore, my masters' thesis was also heading nowhere with the arbitrary behaviour of my supervisor who wasn't helping me much with it, delaying the attainment of my degree. I was crying inside of me which was only showing as unpredictable bout of despair and verbal battles with everyone around.
Till today morning...
While I was commuting to my workplace, I felt a sharp light overhead. Unlike most oblivious individuals, I place much significance in divine quiet language of nature. People say every cloud has a silver lining, but this one had a gold one. So illumined and bathed in sunlight it was that, it touched my soul on a deep plane. I cannot relate all the feelings it evoked in me in that instant. It was like magic breaking in through all external barriers with a silent communication going on.
In that instant, one thought that had been evolving in my mind for months at end, raised its head once again, as if awakened by that golden light. It happens that you think intrinsically and somehow the connection between your subconscious and conscious worlds breaks. The children of such brain activity, namely thoughts produced during these breakdowns are left orphans until their parents reunite. This reconciliation, as and when it occurs, brings back the memory of the children born back then.
The thought lingered there for months, and it took months to materialize in my understanding. It is something like this: 'life may and may not be beautiful. It may not be up to your liking. But, it is there. It exists. At least you have life. This is not the end of it. There is still time. Things can still be changed to your liking. Beautiful or otherwise, life still exists.'
The above thought may and may not stand as significant solution to you. But it has settled down deep inside me and would perhaps be my guide for the next few days, and might set things straight in my head. Every war and every conflict does not end without its key. Take some time for yourself, not half an hour or fifteen minutes. Just a minute, may be few seconds to look up to that cloud with the gold lining and believe that life may and not be beautiful, but it is still there.
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Cloud-With-the-Gold-Lining&id=8721650
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