I don't know if I agree with that.
I feel that for people on the path of personal development and growth, it is essential to have self-awareness, to understand one's motives for whatever we are doing as knowing our purposes plays a significant role in our growth as well. It helps us to understand self, to enable us to see the shadow aspects (good or bad) surfacing through our unconscious self.
I remember when I used to volunteer at a hospice and at the time I was still relatively young in the area of energy healing work. So I thought it would be a perfect idea to do it for practice as a volunteer. I knew to go in, why I was doing it - It was purely for selfish reasons. I was there to use the old folks as 'test subjects'. And I was confident that the more I practised, the more they were going to benefit from it.
On the surface level, it looked like it was kindness but I was there to practice.
As I started doing the energy work on a weekly basis, I realised that energy work might not necessarily be the right thing for the hospice patients. So I changed the service I was providing to just foot massages. The patients at the hospice day care looked forward to the weekly Touch Therapy. They would all come in their wheelchairs, and they all just wanted someone to speak to. So as I was doing the foot massages and communicating with them, I realised after a period that I was no longer doing it for myself. Sometimes I would find it difficult to go, but I made myself go because I knew that it was a special afternoon for them. I became one of the patient's confidante as she didn't have family and she would pour her heart out to me. She has since passed on, and I am glad that she is in a better space now. Over a period, my intent transformed.
Kindness, we practise it with people as much as we can and even if we volunteer to do something without expectation of anything back in return, we genuinely would like the other party to benefit from what we have shared. So many of us are like this - genuine people who give without any expectations of anything back, not even recognition. I have learned so much from people like these. They have managed to find the balance in giving, making sure others benefit from their giving, at the same time, because they have good standing in society, they have used their good standing to inspire others also to do the same. At the same time, it is not for self-glorification whatsoever. It is not easy to navigate this, and indeed require true authenticity to achieve this balance.
Recently I posted this quote on social media: 'if you are doing something for someone and expecting something back in return you are not doing kindness, you are doing business'. It is true; when we expect something back, when we expect an exchange we are truly doing business. Whether the return to you is some kind of glory or recognition or something intangible, it is just business and no longer about kindness anymore.
Now we have all seen this, where people volunteer their time organisations/charity/institutions to exercise some form of power. Usually, its because they have not experienced any leadership or they have never been in positions of power. So they offer their time for self-gratification, or they do it to gain some self-esteem - not all wrong. The problem with this is they do not even realise their underlying intent. They still believe in the superficial reason that they are there to offer kindness. This is how politics in charity happens! If we give with expectations, be true to it, then the giving has a more definite purpose with no hidden agendas, and it will not come back to bite us.
So I hope that this little sharing is useful for you especially at this time of the year when there are plenty of opportunities for giving. Whatever purpose you have in your giving, be sure of its intent, and you will be able to multiply it many folds.
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