Path to Happiness (Be Yourself)

Before I begin to share my knowledge and experience in this, I want to make it clear that I am not a highly learned individual, nor am I a reincarnation of such beings who has limitless wisdom throughout many lifetimes. This disclaimer is important, because the article is about the real you, and not someone who you'd want to be. In modern society, the scholars and pundits preach that, you should NEVER show your weakness or admit that you don't know. They consider it as a weakness and that you are setting yourself up for a failure from the beginning. But that's different in the philosophy that I practice. In my case, we were always taught to present yourself as inferior to the next person (perception is not reality), to show respect to all beings, to learn as much as you can to be better, so you can help limitless sentient beings. The danger of acting like you know everything, is that some in today's world will take it too far and stop learning. That's when it could become a tragedy. When reality sink in, and they realize that they are no better than the next person, or that they aren't well liked by others, then they resort to unimaginable things, which is a discussion for another topic. So we need to be honest with ourselves and be who we are, in order to find happiness.

So who am I and what is it that I'd like to share with you? I am a simple person just like your friends, who just happened to practice love, compassion, tolerance, un-attachment and contentment in my everyday life, to live a simple, happy, and a contented life. Over the past 40 years, I have learned to follow and practice those principles; while making mistakes, and correcting them. The goal is to become just a little smarter, happier, and more compassionate in my everyday life. I still make "unintentional" mistakes here and there, but doing my best to correct them, with remorse, and try not to repeat them again. It's like climbing a ladder of truth, without supervision. This is the foundation of seeking happiness. You need to be you, and you need to be honest with yourself. If you can't do that, then you need to be a good actor to deceive yourself, and people around you; and constantly be the person that you really aren't. That's an extremely difficult job. It's just a matter of time. Either you'll fail at it someday or someone will expose the real you and the real truth. Then instead of finding happiness, you create your own sorrow.

So what do you do, when pain and suffering strikes? How can you be you, and still tackle suffering and find happiness? How can you find happiness without pretending to be someone else? We know the easiest thing to do in such situation is to resolve to external things, beauty, and pleasure. But those are all temporary fixes to a non-temporary situation. Some advice others to renounce themselves, and take on another life, another name, and be someone else to find happiness. Some do it voluntarily to leave the self behind and become a completely different identity, with the hope that they'll leave the sorrow and pain behind as well. This is extremely dangerous. If my brother was having a difficult time in life, I wouldn't suggest him to change his name to Bill Gates, and act like Bill Gates, try to follow some religion or faith, and act like that is the savior. It's a very dangerous path that you lead someone into. Out of 1 million people who follow such advice, only 10 individuals may come out on the other side a little happier and more knowledgeable in dealing with suffering. Rest of the 999,990 will fail in such conversion and acting. This will lead to many devastating results. You may lose your family, friends, career and your precious time of your life pretending to be someone else. Worst case scenario, when you come back to the reality, would you be able to handle the reality of life again? Reality of life is Joy, Suffering, Happiness, and Pain. It's part of life. There's no escaping from that. All that glitters is not gold. You may see and envy people in power or people with money living an extravagant life. All you see is what's on the outside. You do not see their mental stress and problems. They go through the exact same joy, happiness, pain, and suffering in their life and their family's lives as we do. You need to understand that. So you can't be envious of other's glamour on Instagram or on TV. In most cases, this is exactly what they wanted you to see. Who in the world will showcase their family, business, and career problems on Instagram and TV? No one will do that. But everyone has these own issues in one form or the other. So there's no point in envying them, renouncing your life for someone else's. It won't bring you the eternal happiness.

So then how can you find the true happiness by being who you are? To practice this, you first need to come to terms with the reality of life. Reality of life is not all happiness and all fun, as mentioned before. It also has the negative side to it, which is pain and sorrow. After we accept the reality of life, then we need to find out how to avoid them, followed by how to deal with them as they come or arise. A lot of our problems are self-made. Of course those who cannot accept such statement will always find others to blame for the problems they "unintentionally" created in the first place. Let's take a simple example of stress in a business world. For a sales guy, stress in business is usually a result of not achieving the sales goals. Now the goals are set by us, humans. So you see where it's going? This is closely tied with our inability as a society to understand and practice contentment. In most cases, if you have made a decent profit in business, you shall celebrate. Now, due to our greed, we set high sales goals, and every day of our life, when we don't make that goal, we become sad and stressed. In all these days, the business is making profit, and can still function. But the only reason we are not satisfied is because of the high bar we created for ourselves. So such is a simple example of how our stress and problems are created. This is why I say that most of our stresses and issues are man-made or self-made. Now when such stress continue on a daily basis, the sales person will go home and show this unhappy attitude at home to wife and children as well. In process, he's making them all miserable. And is all caused by the human greed and not practicing contentment. There is a legitimate reason for us to feel sad, and that is when we don't succeed in business. This means, when the business is not making profit, then it's a legitimate cause for concern. In such problem, there are other solutions, which we can talk about another time. But in this example, the cause of our self-made stress is greed and our inability to practice contentment.

There are many more example of these problems that we create for ourselves in our daily lives, in many different professions. But today I just wanted to focus on finding happiness by being true to yourself and accepting the realities of life first. Always remember that the key to happiness is not located anywhere else in the world, but in your own heart. Sometimes we think money solves problems. No, trust me. Money brings temporary relief in some practical cases, but the problems of life will still be with us. So we need to be true to ourselves, in our abilities, and most importantly, we need to always find ways to better ourselves, so we can understand the true causes of our problems, and we strive to find solutions to each one of them.

May my observations and experiences help you in finding and identifying the causes of your various stresses and dealing with them in the most appropriate manner. Everything takes time. So learn by your mistake, and try not to make the same mistake again, which will eliminate one problem and stress at a time.

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