A Better Version of Myself

 "People generally fall into one of three groups: the few who make things happen, the many who watch things happen, and the overwhelming majority who have no notion of what happens. Every person is either a creator of fact or a creature of circumstance. He either puts color into his environment, or, like a chameleon, takes color from his environment." Myles Munroe

This quote by the late Myles Munroe sheds light on a very interesting dynamic; it can make one reread it and that has the potential to cause you to be extremely honest with yourself or cause for retreat deeper into your denial. It is not unusual to see many people posting on their social media platforms, "living my best life" with some awesome sunset or a selfie with a spectacular background and of course, there are the vacation pictures with that same caption, "living my best life". The truth be told; most of us know that that one snapshot does not mean it is their "best" life but simply a nice picture and they want you to think it's their "best life". Here is the funny and sad thing about that; we will often find ourselves doing the same thing because hey, we have to be living our "best life" too!

We can't be the only one posting how much we hate our job; we can't post that our neighbors are driving us crazy with their stupid dog that waits until you go to bed to start barking for the next four hours! You can but, it's always better to be living our "best life" right? We can't be the only one posting about how disappointed we are with our adult children's life choices, or after spending way too much money on your child's sports gear only to find out how horrible they are and how you remained silent when the other parents started asking, "whose kid is that?" and you knew that it was not the "wow, that kid is awesome" kind of "whose kid is that?" so, we follow the crowd and post "living my best life" with a picture of you eating pizza after the game as you let everyone know that you had a great time bonding with your child at their game. Smh! Most of us aren't living our "best life" because we have no idea how to create an okay or good life, let alone a "best life!

A Better Version of Myself: Something Has to Change

There are many people who struggle to create the life that they once pictured in their head, many people often think and believe that "Life" happened while they were making plans for their future. I understand what they mean and I can relate completely; now I can say, that if I had the same understanding and knowledge that I have now, I would have made different choices. The truth is that life is always happening and it will until we die. The reality is that we didn't stick to our plans for the future, we didn't implement those plans, we didn't really plan for the future, we become afraid of failure/success so, we gave up on our plans or we had a plan but had no idea to how to implement those plans. Circumstances and situations will always have the potential to sidetrack anyone and many times poor decision making can result in giving up on our plans and dreams.

But, those things should never prevent you from achieving your hopes and dreams! I have noticed that there are plenty of people who when faced with adversity tend to use whatever the adversity is as a reason to stop going for their dreams; they squander all that they were striving for and throw in the towel. I often share in my coaching sessions the importance of evaluating one's thought processes. I can't stress enough how important it is to have someone in your life that cares enough about you that they will tell you the truth rather than telling you what you want to hear. I believe that 85% of the time, we are defeated by our own thought processes and our unwillingness to alter or change our plans when a change is needed.

Most people become upset if you see a (legit) flaw in their process and then have the nerve to share what you see. I think that what people often hear when they get feedback is that their plans aren't good; many people that hear information contrary to what they think, as a personal attack on their dreams and they dismiss things that have great value and could be the difference between success and becoming unsuccessful in achieving their dreams.

A Better Version of Myself: Lay the Foundation Once

Have you ever met or know someone who constantly makes huge plans and have big dreams but never complete one thing because they become bogged down with a million details? Do you tend to become so excited about all of the possibilities of achieving your dream that you put everything into making it materialize but, you are constantly going back to insert things that you need into your plans after you've started full speed ahead?

Do you find that as you are working towards building on your dream/goal that you become distracted or sidetracked by some new, better way of reaching your dreams? Do you have a lot of activity but zero progress and you've become frustrated because you are constantly taking four steps forward and three steps backwards. Or, there's always someone that's willing to help you with reaching your goals and after investing in whatever it is that they offer; you are no closer to your goals than when you started!

All of these things that I mentioned are indications that there is no firm foundation on which to build your dreams on! Listen, I want you to be able to experience endless possibilities as you walk in the reality of your goals and dreams but you'll have to be willing to take the time to lay the foundation first before you do anything else.

What is your strategy? How sound is your plan and is that plan written out? If it isn't written out then it doesn't exist! I strongly recommend that you write or dictate everything that comes to your mind regarding your goals and dreams. Have a notepad, use your "memo" on your phone, have a designated place to put your thoughts and ideas.

There is a dream destroying thought that a lot of people operate under and that is this; "You don't share your dream with everyone because they will try to kill it with negativity!" There's a lot of truth in that but, the problem with it is that usually we tend to share our plans with people that we know will not try to kill our plans. They aren't a threat of possible change, they aren't a threat to making you have to stop what you're doing and rethink everything that you thought was a good idea.

I don't like feedback but, and that's a BIG BUT; I know that I need it if I am to be and remain successful. I have people purposed in my life that think totally different from the way that I think. I need people in my life to help me to see what I can't, to see things in my blind spots and guess what; so do you!

A Better Version of Myself: Building My Team

I have had big dreams and an entrepreneurial spirit since I was in middle school. I was constantly creating ways to make money and I did just that-make money. As I've become somewhat mature, money is never a thought when I begin any endeavor and as a matter of fact, money typically comes into mind after I have fleshed out everything and have decided on a course of action. I have learned from a lot of pain and suffering that money cannot drive (my) plans, goals or dreams, it just can't! So, what's driving you to do what you want to do?

Do you want to know what is number one on my list after I've decided on the next step of building on my dreams? Well, thanks for asking. I immediately begin to think about who will help me in accomplishing what I want to do and if I don't know anyone for that particular project, I'll begin to ask my contacts if they know someone that can help me, yep, I ask for other people to help me and you should too.

Here's the trick, well, really, there is no trick; you have to learn how to determine who are safe and who isn't. Most of us recognize "red flags" but we choose to ignore those "red flags". We tend to sense when something or someone is on the "up and up" for the most part. The issue is we develop scenarios and conversations that haven't happened yet or think that the conversations will be too uncomfortable to have so we let things go that tend to come back to bite us you know where.

Listen, your time and money is just as valuable as the next person regardless of the amount; if you had to work for it then it's valuable! You have to know when you're the consumer or the provider. The consumer always has the upper hand because that hand holds the money. If you can't get what you want or need from one source, then move on to another source because you're the consumer and you're the one that decides who the provider is.

You are never forced to give someone your time or money but, many people act as though they have no say in the matter and get burned. After you get burned, you create thought processes to protect ourselves from getting burned again and it is that very thought process that causes you to continue to make poor choices.

Surrounding yourself with individuals that have your best interests at heart even if it's on a paid, professional basis should always be your goal. Research everything and everyone and do your due diligence. Plan your work, have other capable and knowledgeable people review it for you with the sole purpose of finding flaws or at least things that make them ask you questions. I have individuals who have different skill sets for each project that I'm working on. If I'm working on something that involves construction work or video production then I'll talk to people in those fields. This is a great benefit and it introduces you to people who know other people that may become a resource for you later.

I hope this helped you in some way. Please remember to desire change, to create a solid and tested plan or strategy and last but not least, begin to put together a team that can help you and you can become a resource for them as well. I think that this will be a good start to becoming a better version of you.

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