Internal Tickings (By Gini Cunningham)

Even though Word likes to red-squiggle the word "tickings" I find it the only suitable term for all that goes on inside of me - whether I am referring to my brain, my heart, or my soul. The tickings are what make me tick and there are several of those and so I have my invented term. I know that if I use it enough times (and you will discover many usages throughout my previous writings) and if you use it in conversation and written correspondence and then if three of your friends do the same, the idea will spread and soon we will be able to locate this word in the dictionary. All of this is because of our internal drive and determination, our tickings.

Tickings are all of those little items that make us into unique individuals. Our tickings include our way of thinking, acting, reacting, and doing. They are fashioned with brainwaves and heartbeats, cognitive reflections and soul sense and scents. They make us laugh and cry, smile and frown. They accentuate our love of beauty and grace as we abhor violence and cruelty. Tickings sometimes require focus and concentration as we wade through the muddle and confusion of the day. At other times they operate with full automaticity with nary a thought or action needed.

My tickings include boundless energy and enthusiasm and joy for wading into virtually any task. Even when I find myself in over my head I find a way to breath, regroup, rethink, and realign for success. I tend to bulldoze onward but I do not believe I am a bully. I like for others to do their share but when they can't or won't, I usually find a way to get things done. Nagging and begging rarely work; doing does. I find it hard to believe that some people are able to sit and do nothing but stare at a book or television all day and night, but so be it - that is their way and I have no right to judge.

While my husband has fairly much given up on curtailing my active swirl, my children occasionally chide me and try to force me into a quiet, tranquil zone. I have tried to explain to them that I can't, that that isn't me, but they are not yet totally resigned to this idea. Fortunately they mean well so as they pitch in to help I recognize how important their belief in me is to me. I also know that hard work and dedication can be contagious and so I hope that they "catch" some of my internal, eternal drive. Actually, as I watch them work and interact with others, I realize that they share my zest for living and for life.

Imagine my surprise when I was chatting with friends and explaining my belief in the happiness found with being content with our tickings when one lady chirped, "Oh! I hate being so busy, not able to sit down. I want to do nothing but laze on the couch!!" And here I thought that enjoying ambitious get-up-and-go was fantastically exhilarating. I worked to assert that being happy with how we are is critical to a fruitful, fulfilling life, especially when that trait is comprised of energy and personal self-determination. Yes, we must strive to do better, to be stronger, to excel and do good deeds, but there must also be an acceptance of certain characteristics, especially those that are quite positive.

Later that evening as I mulled this conversation, I realized that I must be happy with the person I am and others need to seek solace in the person they are. I cannot, must not, criticize or try to redirect thinking if their tickings are taking them in another direction. What are your tickings? List three or four or for you rapid-fire thinkers jot down twenty or thirty. Then mark them as + positive, x neutral, - negative. Assess and evaluate how your tickings measure up to the person you have become. It's really very fun!

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