Metaphors Gone Wild: Attics and Brain Boosts

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle consider the brain as an "empty attic." He recognized the need to stock it with metaphoric furniture, the choices of which are left up to each individual. Two important cognitive functions occurring up in that attic of yours are listening and being creative. Here are tips for polishing both these metaphoric pieces of furniture.

LISTENING

"The essence of genius," according to William James, "is to know what to overlook." And, author Mitchell Posner urges us to be "ecologists" as far as information is concerned. Here are exercises to help you be " as far as listening is concerned, to help you avoid verbal pollution.

In the center of a clean sheet of paper, draw a circle. Ask a friend to find a dense paragraph from an article. (Or, to simply go on and on about some topic for a few minutes.) Then extract three key words from the verbally- inflated paragraph that he or she spoke aloud. Write those words in the circle. Now that you have the essence of what you heard, use the three words to prompt your memory about the most important things you heard. Check with your friend to see if you have captured the main points.

This exercises not only sharpens your listening skills, but your verbal fluidity skills as well. Ask a friend to talk about an enjoyable experience and to stop unexpectedly after a few minutes. You are to take one word from the last sentence uttered and use it to begin speaking about something you enjoy doing. Stop unexpectedly and have the other person continue the conversation using one word from the last sentence you spoke.

Next, give some thought to barriers that can impede the listening process. Can you list 20 of them? Then consider which of these you can control. Finally, engage in a dialog that refutes Dr. Leo Buscagli, who said, "Most conversations are just alternating monologues-the question is, is there any real listening going on?"

CREATIVITY

Creativity is the result, in very large measure, of the belief that we are creative. To develop your creativity muscles, periodically ask yourself: "What if... ?" and "What could this be used for?" questions.

Convergent responses are typical, expected, logical. For example, asked how one gets to Heaven, you'd probably say something like "Follow the Golden Rule." Ask this question of a divergently-oriented child, though, and you might hear, "Go to Hell and take a left!" Or, "You need the God elevator." Or, "You need to buy a really big trampoline."

Think divergently about these questions:

What number does not belong with the others?

3810 6024 4816 1452

What letter belongs in the blank? FMAMJJASO ____

What letter belongs in the blank? OTTFFSSE ____

What national holiday do these letters represent?

ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

CHALLENGE YOURSELF

Think of the symbolism associated with causes and colors. For example, we tied yellow ribbons on trees to show support for hostages in Iran. If the head of your organization asked you to create a new ribbon design, what would it look like? What message would it express? What initials would be meaningful? What color?

One of the best ways to engender creative possibilities is to put things together that normally are not aligned. (Anne Geddes did this with babies and vegetables.) List ten disparate items: "peacock" and "eraser," for example. Then search among those items for a solution to a workplace problem or for an improvement to an existing situation.

Remember that Einstein regarded imagination as more important than knowledge. Try creating some unique metaphors to describe your workplace or your neighborhood or your life.

A PLACE FOR NONSENSE

Building those brain cells can be hard work. To offset the ardors of cognitive development, it's okay to indulge in mental "junk food" occasionally. Be heartened by Dr. Seuss, who admitting to this indulgence. "I like nonsense," he admitted. "It wakes up the brain cells."

Answer: 1-,4816, (If you add the digits in the other three numbers, they add up to 12. 4816 adds up to 19.) 2-N. (The other letters are the first letters in the twelve months of the year.), 3-N, again. (The other letters represent the first letters in a counting sequence from One to Eight.), 4- Christmas, because there is no "L" in the list.

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You Are Always at Choice - No Matter What It Looks Like (By Joan Silva)

Over the years I've had more and I've had less.

I've had extreme highs and deep lows. Along with many ups, downs, bends, twists and turns. My life often felt as if I was on a large roller coaster in the middle of an amusement park wondering when this crazy ride would ever end.

As if someone else was in charge of the off button and that someone was not me. All was a blur as I was tossed about, out of control, dizzy, scared, and anxious.

Of all the rides in this amusement park called life, had I really picked this one?

Hadn't I always been afraid of roller coasters? Couldn't I have picked another safer ride?

So, what was I doing on this one? And, how would I get off?

Life is made up of many choices!

Some made consciously, and some not. Yet, as I look back on my life here on planet Earth, I see where many choices that I made brought me to my life as it is today.

It reminds me of the year I turned ten, my parents decided to pack up our lives in Wisconsin and move to California. Almost everything was sold, including our home in West Allis, leaving only a few items that were shipped via the mail to my paternal grandmother.

Left behind was my best friend, my bedroom on the second floor tucked away from the rest of the house, and the big, sprawling backyard with the huge weeping willow tree and the much used swing that I could soar high in the air - confident and assured.

Overnight, all that changed. Only a long, tedious car ride across the U.S. loomed ahead with endless stretches of blacktop and windy roads to endure.

The sight-seeing that my parents so loved, I did not. The hours spent in the car, were endless and too close for my much needed personal space and comfort.

I felt a sense of dread with all the unknown that stretched ahead.

If only I had known back then what took me until much later in life to comprehend. That I was an introvert and what I experienced and felt were the common emotions and reactions of an introvert.

Something that I thought was a fatal flaw in my personality. A flaw that often left me feeling ashamed and distraught.

Over the years I would wonder what was wrong with me? Why did I not jump in with glee and enjoy the experience? What made me hold back, withdraw, and be unsure?

Like the huge, rickety roller coaster on the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk that everyone was so excited to ride, even my much younger brother who hopped right on with no fear - but not me.

So many emotions battled within me.

Wasn't it scary enough to be in a state in which I did not feel I belonged? Made fun of in school for my mode of dress, my tall lanky body, and my Wisconsin accent. And, now, it seems, I am expected to get on that monstrosity and call it fun?

NO THANK YOU!

This is how life unfolded for me. The hesitation to dive in. The long moments of assessment before I would participate. The cautiousness that always came before the enthusiasm or acceptance of what lay before me.

I would stand on the sidelines and watch. I would assess the safety of the environment, person, place, or thing before I would enter. Did I wish to make the effort to join in or would I just let it flow past without me?

What I have learned over my lifetime is that we all have choices and we come to decide which ones are a yes and which ones are a no for ourselves. No one else can successfully make those choices for us.

No one can assure us it is safe, fun, or what we are meant to experience, No one can say which is the right path, course of action, and which is not, except ourselves.

Life takes us on many rides. Some scary. Some enjoyable. Some we swear we never signed up for.

Yet, in every instance we are at choice.

Not always at choice whether to move or not, as with my 10-year old self. But, how we perceive it. How we remember it. How it will mold and form us.

For me, I have come to embrace and accept that aspect of me which hesitates, steps back, and assesses before I jump in. I know this is the way I "play" in life. Have I ever hesitated too long? Indeed, I have. And yet, even in this, the outcome was what I was meant to experience.

I look back on the journey my parents took us upon when we left everything we knew behind. What it took for them to give up the life they knew, for the one they did not. It took tremendous bravery and courage.

They forged ahead with the determination to make our lives better.

No matter what it looked like to others. They made a choice and off we went to a new land of opportunity, healthy living, and a lifestyle dramatically different than the one we left behind.

Taking along this introvert, often kicking and screaming, yet it is a journey I do not regret.

Your money-life does thrive in clear, open, tidy spaces. Yet, do you find you don't have any of those?

Maybe it's time for you to step back and assess the situation -- determine how you can free up space? After all, don't you deserve to have a lush, green money-life? No need to fret about money and no need to spend it needlessly on stuff that you do not use.

https://ezinearticles.com/?You-Are-Always-at-Choice---No-Matter-What-It-Looks-Like&id=9955642

Change Your State Of Anger To 'Calmness' With Subconscious Reimprinting

Our destiny is defined by our everyday behaviours. Our behaviours are consistent to the state we are in. If you are experiencing the state of anger on a consistent basis, you may be facing a lot of resentment and guilt too. Also, the state of anger may be harming your health too.

Here is the small and easy subconscious technique that I do with people to help the inner patterns of subconscious mind.

Think of the situation where you usually experience the state of anger. Is it your home, office, or any other place. Just get the awareness of it. Think of the situation, make a mental picture. Just place this image aside for sometime in your imagination. This image will be utilised a bit later.

Now, you need to create a new image of calmness and delightfulness. For that you need to undergo the following experiment.

Imagine, you are sitting on a chair. At a fair distance, you see the image of your image known as 'the other you'. Sitting on the chair, you need to see the 'other you' as you want. Now, imagine that you are seeing the 'other you' completely calm and delightful. Imagine, the 'other you' has learnt how to be calm and delightful in that situation. Make that picture as attractive as you want. Also, put some sounds in that image that can make that image more attractive and powerful. Once you are satisfied with that image of 'calm and delightful', create a thirty to forty-second film.

Now, imagine to get up from the chair and go to the 'other you' and enter in the first scene, and relive the whole movie; enjoying each picture and sound in the movie. Repeat this process ten to fifteen times till the patterns of the new images are imprinted on your subconscious mind.

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) has already proved that the state is the result of the patterns that we have developed in our subconscious mind. Also, now you have got the choice to alter or replace these patterns with the help of creative and controlled imagination.

The key to getting the desired result is to make the images attractive. You need to make the pictures in the 'other you' colorful, big, three-dimensional and bright. Also, you need to amplify the quality of the sounds in the images of the 'other you'. It will help you create intensified feeling. The more intensified feelings you create, the more powerful changes you are able to bring about in your behaviour.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Change-Your-State-Of-Anger-To-Calmness-With-Subconscious-Reimprinting&id=9344505

What Do I Do With My Fear?

Self-improvement can start when I set a specific goal for myself, which I wish to achieve within a finite time frame. The first requirements are commitment and continuity. The volume of enthusiasm I show in the initial stages evaporates with time. Once I lose that steam, I slow down. But my expectations of getting quicker results might force me to take shortcuts which eventually fail. Frustration often makes me change goals, hoping to find an easier and softer one. That doesn't happen anyway. Now I become cynic, negative and wither away. What exactly is ailing me?

Present continuous - Key to progress

"I have achieved many things in the past. I have many years of experience in my field. I have been the best player in my field". This negative approach blocks my progress. "I have always failed in the past. I am a failure now. I am sure I will fail in the future". This approach is sure to land me in a state of psychological and emotional paralysis.

Acceptance

Acceptance of my present state with no prejudice is perhaps the first step to self-improvement. I need to make a list of my strengths, limitations, and liabilities. The first parameter could be imagination, innovation, focus, hard work, smart work, etc. My limitations could be related to my grammar, sentence formation, thinking speed, logic, etc. My liabilities could be related to inconsistency, intolerance, procrastination, denial, blaming, etc. Identification of these factors could give me a reality listing.

One Step at a Time

No matter I choose to run, brisk walk or slow walk, I take only one step at a time. My first focus is preferably on my strengths. By focusing on my hardworking, I can reduce inconsistency and procrastination.

Having realistic goals is very important for me. I can know about my achievable goals for "one day" when I analyze my previous performance and take the average. I focus all my efforts to achieve that goal. It takes time and patience. Persistence is not easy. It needs constant effort to stay in the present and work consistently. Today I might achieve only 30% of my target. But as I see, this is better than zero. In my next step, I focus on getting 50% of the expected results. I might end up at 35% or 40%. This process continues until I can reach my goals fully.

In the next step, I try to achieve my goals within the 24 hours span. I may get 30% success. I continue without worrying too much about results. I can realize them with time, without my being conscious of them.

Fear is My Best Friend

Fear has two distinct flavors, realistic and unrealistic. The first type is related to anything that could cause harm to me. If I don't work, I won't get paid. This realistic fear makes me work hard. Unrealistic fear is born out of uncertainty and confusion. "What if I fall sick tomorrow? What if I don't get orders tomorrow? What if my customers don't pay me for my work? What if I lose my consistency? What if my work quality goes down? What if I fail?" are some of the unrealistic fears I might have. I need to make a list of them. I might not be able to categorize them right now. Soon the serenity will dawn on me if I accept these fears.

When I understand my fears, I can learn how to live with them. I have heard of many people talking about freedom from fear. I have not been able to get that sense of freedom, at least not in the long run. My fear-factor is something that keeps coming back in one or the other form. My personal experience is I could not fight them. I couldn't even run away from my fears. So I took them as my friends and started learning from them.

Action is the Key

Whenever I have to face the fear of failure, I get up and start working. Slowly fear takes the backseat. It doesn't go away. But at least it won't dominate my thoughts. If I am afraid to my apartment owner (When I am unable to clear bills), I talk to him and borrow time. Meanwhile, I start working on what is required to earn money and pay the bill.

Psychological factors can affect my thinking ability to the greatest extent. Peer pressure, competition, survival, sustenance, and progress keep haunting my mind consistently. I get bogged down by my own stress factors. I have written this article in the first person so it doesn't sound like an advice. Personally speaking, nobody might like to be advised. By using the first person I hope I could create a better sense of relevance to the readers. What I have written here comes from my personal experience.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Do-I-Do-With-My-Fear?&id=9841618

Harness Time And Potential On Purpose

Life's highest aim is getting done what we have been designed, gifted, and called to accomplish! Yet, it seems that time is always racing against our release of full potential.

"The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose." - Dr. Myles Munroe

Discovering purpose will infinitely accelerate our use of time to release our full potential.

"Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator." - Robert Orben

How can we fulfill our potential within the scope of the limited time allotted to us?

4 Keys To Harnessing Time & Potential

Time can be harnessed to release our full potential. There are four keys to this process.

1. Trust In Your Unique Potential

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." - Steve Jobs

Never view another's gifts and talents as your measure for success. Find your scope of brilliance and shine for yourself.

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

Discover your unique reason for living. When you find your purpose you have a powerful guideline for developing and releasing your full potential.

2. Imagine Your Greatest Life Potential

"The battle is not against who we have been, it is all out war against who we are becoming." - Lisa Bevere

Limited thinking wars against and dwarfs potential. As we engage our imagination we expand our mind to see greater things on the horizon!

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." - Albert Einstein

Imagine the vast scope that your life could accomplish. The purpose of your life is contained in your soul and released in your dreams. Become like a child and dream big!

3. Multiply Your Potential

"Collaboration is multiplication." - Dr. John C. Maxwell

Access every opportunity leading to a successful life. It takes combined experience and desire to spot and capitalize on open doors. By working with others we access combined potential.

A search of the word "synergy" in any dictionary will reveal its meaning as, "The operation of two or more to produce a combined effort greater than the sum of their separate efforts."

Spot and employ the gifts and wisdom of others who have like purpose. As we run alongside others we are energized to fulfill and release our entire potential.

4. Eternal Purpose Releases Full Potential

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." - Henry Adams

Time cannot restrain purpose. That's why reproduction of potential is essential to longevity past this lifetime. Transfer of wisdom, experience, opportunities, etc., through mentorship is a powerful escape from the limitations of time. Train others!

"Life is just a schoolroom with a glorious opportunity to prepare us for eternity." - Billy Graham

Discovering our eternal purpose will infinitely accelerate our use of time to release our full potential and the full potential of others!

Time Flies Or Time Produces

http://ezinearticles.com/?Harness-Time-And-Potential-On-Purpose&id=9943195

Finding Your Attitude Indicator

In flight dynamics an important concept is taught called "Attitude Indicator." Also known by other names like Gyro Indicator, Attitude Director Indicator to name a few, this instrument is used to tell the pilot of the orientation of the aircraft with reference to the ground among other things. The pilot keeps a constant check on the Attitude Indicator during take-off, landing and throughout the flight. Obviously, I've over simplified the explanation and the science behind it. But my goal is to help you understand how there is an "Attitude Indicator" that we all have within us, which we all use or could use while we navigate through the journey of personal relationships, professional careers, and social lives.

Right from our childhood, our behavior with our friends, relatives, and everywhere we go is under constant scrutiny by our parents. Bad attitude is brought to our attention right away and we're told to correct it. Good attitude is (generally) rewarded with praise among other things.

By adolescence most of us are capable of distinguishing between good and bad attitude. In school and college we pay close attention to our attitude as well as the attitude of others. By now we know how to distinguish between people with good and bad attitude. We tend to be friends with the ones who fall in our good attitude classification and often stay away from the one's who we see to have a bad attitude. Later, we use our Attitude Indicator with most people in our professions, personal relationships, our friends and acquaintances.

So what is your Attitude Indicator? What does it look like? Obviously, it's not like a physical gauge with numbers and needles like the one used in flight dynamics. The indicator you carry within you is intangible. Your Attitude Indicator is the feelings you experience. A good attitude indicates the feeling of positivity. You experience this when you or someone you're in the presence of possesses good attitude. Whereas, a clear indicator of a bad attitude is the feeling of negativity.

Whether you choose to have a good or bad attitude in any domain of your life, it is not something that you decide based on the events that transpire in your life or the people that you're around. Your choice is independent of the external circumstances. Without a doubt, your attitude is your choice and not something governed by your environment.

You and I all use our Attitude Indicator to learn, monitor and even transform our attitude as well as understand the attitude of others. Watch this in-depth video about attitude from the author.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Finding-Your-Attitude-Indicator&id=9895030

The Rhythm of Life

Human beings evolved from unknown and non-existence into being. The passage of life from a humble dwelling into dizzy height of success and fame is a phase in itself. It is a journey through different realms which human beings experience prior to reaching the destination. It is created in a unique way which is memorable and worthy of reflection. They need to understand the importance of passage of life within the sanctity of spiritual freedom. The stages from conception to birth and onward indicate the purpose of creation. Once the purpose is understood then everything else associated with materialism becomes insignificant.

The Creator has gifted human beings with knowledge and wisdom to reflect on the signs of the creations. The tragedy is that the human beings have not explored and utilized their hidden talents. Hence nature and instinct overpowered the creative, original nature (It is called Fitrat in Arabic, there is no equivalent word in English language). Although the "Fitrat" will never change, however, it can relegate below nature and instinct. This is the crucial point where all human beings start drifting into the wilderness of chaos. Imam Ali Ibne Abutalib (PBUH) says, "The entire universe is hidden inside the man, alas! They do not reflect."

The cardinal point of intersection is the demarcating line cautioning us to choose the righteous path over the dark pit. A question arises, what tools are available to us as guiding principles. If we ponder over, then we realize that The Creator has given us, "The Book, Wisdom, Knowledge and Role Models." Now it is our responsibility to use these tools and achieve the remarkable feat within this realm. The supporting materials are rituals and practices, which will enhance the understanding the creative concept. A cautionary note is to ensure that the ritual rites and practices are associated with the values and followed in totality. If it fails in rightful execution, then we are practicing and comprehending the life in the vacuum.

Now coming back to the first point of creation and its reality. We should know that the creation of human being is to achieve a meaningful and a purposeful life. This obligation can be achieved if we are progressing and propagating as expected. We need to analyze in a profound and consequential way. It means to reflect while we are continually passing from one realm to another until we reach the final abode.

Again, diving deep into the situation we understand that we will meet death in this realm to move into another phase. In simplification, the soul will depart and continue to remain in an abstract form. The scholars explain that the scenario in this phase is a waiting period. Here, every soul will see acts and deeds of every individual. The way we live around the world will translate in the hereafter accordingly. Hence, this realm is very cumbersome and painful or peaceful until you move into another phase.

The culmination is a yet another difficult realm where judgement is pronounced. People's achievements and failures will receive awards and punishments respectively. This is the crucial period where the people will depart in different directions subject to their performance and achievement. This is the place where eternity prevails and people will live in respective realms. Here, they either enjoy life in a pure, perfect way free from any evil, or they will suffer in pain and misery. Those who enjoyed life in this material world adopting all unscrupulous means, then they are destined in the dark pit full of agony and repentance. It will be a bliss for those who remained pious and spend their lives and prescribed within the tenants of laws.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Rhythm-of-Life&id=9786081

Power Of Intention With Words

The power of words is something most people tend to overlook. The mind works in incredible ways, with unlimited potential to create whatever it is that is desired and focused upon. One of the challenges people experience is based simply on what they choose to say. The words come from a thought pattern, which is what the mind is focused upon and as a result, will become reality. Some people are naturally positive in their thought patterns, keeping their chin up, focused on the end result, allowing for hurdles and obstacles to be learning experiences moving them toward success, instead of failures causing them to halt. Others, the majority of people, get wrapped up in the drama of daily life, forgetting about their dreams and desires, instead letting life lead them down whatever the path may be.

Some examples of unintentional speech include:

I'd rather die before I'd do...

You're killing me...

We'll just have to see what happens...

You never know what tomorrow will bring...

I'm so sick and tired...

I'm so broke...

I can't afford it...

I can't do...

I have no time...

The list goes on and on, and I am certain by now you have the gist of the idea and quite possibly you recognize a statement or two as something someone you may know (perhaps intimately?) says on a regular basis.

Changing your thought patterns takes time, consistency, deliberate focus and patience.

The first step is to become aware of your habits in relation to the words you choose. I have a friend who is constantly saying "I'll just do this and we'll see what happens." She never sets a specific intention as to what she envisions the result of her actions will be. That is a key part of shifting your life's direction to the path you desire.

Using statements that focus on a positive, specific outcome are critical. Feelings are a direct result of the connection between what your body and mind and the correlation between what you have been taught feels good v. what is stressful or negative. We have all been programmed through our life experiences - some good, some not so good. The beautiful thing about life is that we can CHANGE our programming with an intentional focus on what we CHOOSE to bring into our lives. And the only person who gets to CHOOSE what the life we live looks like, is YOU!!

Set your intentions, be specific, choose your speech wisely and for positive benefit to yourself and others and make it happen!!!

You can manifest all the bounty you desire NOW!!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Power-Of-Intention-With-Words&id=8618157

Are You Really Ready to Forgive the Person Who Betrayed You? (By Brenda Adelman)

Take a look at the list below and see if you recognize yourself in any of these sentences.

a. You think about the person who betrayed you and your blood boils and you defend your choice to stay angry.

b. You refuse to take this person's calls or see them and hope they are suffering from the loss of your relationship.

c. The person who abused or betrayed you is long gone (may have even passed away) and yet every so often remorse, guilt or anger comes over you and you feel you'll never have peace because you did not say what you needed to say to them before they left or died.

d. You're holding on to the need for this person to change and take responsibility before you will really let go of your pain.

e. You aren't comfortable with real intimacy. You feel alone. You can't trust others.

The above are all symptoms that come from the inability to let go of anger, pain and injustice. You may have had a good reason to keep your defenses up, but I'm telling you that there is no better time than now to let those defenses melt away. When they do, you will create an opening through which new love can come in.

Let's take a look at the different ways unforgiveness and anger show up in your life.

a. You think about the person who betrayed you, your blood boils and you defend your choice to stay angry.

Your anger is most likely pointing to something that is unresolved and you should listen to that. Was there something left unsaid? I don't ever advocate renewing a relationship with someone who has been abusive but there are ways for you to say what you are feeling called to say. As a life coach, I give my clients tools in every session so they can release their anger in healthy ways and discover how to have more peace in their relationships now. I've included an exercise later in this article to get you started.

b. You refuse to take this person's calls or see them and hope they are suffering from the loss of your relationship.

Boundaries are very important. However, I make a clear distinction between hard boundaries and healthy boundaries. The boundary we are addressing here (cutting someone out of your life) is a hard boundary and often it's a necessary first step. However, as time goes on, it's important to release any need or desire for the other person to suffer. This is where you have an opportunity to release your own suffering too. You must break this down step by step to transform your hard boundaries so that you are no longer a victim to them.

c. The person who abused or betrayed you is long gone (moved away/passed away) and yet every so often remorse or guilt comes over you and you wish you could have had said what you needed to say to them before they left.

The following is a truism that my father repeated when I continually demanded that he answer the question of what happened the night my mother died. He'd say, "The past is the past. Whatever I say isn't going to bring her back." This enraged me because I thought he was shirking his responsibility. Perhaps he was. But it was also right on. The past is the past. You can't change it. (Well, you can change it energetically by how you hold it in consciousness, but that's for a whole other article)

You can't change the past, but you can change your present. I invite you to sit down right now and write a long, long letter out to your abuser. Say everything you ever wanted to say to them. No holds barred. Curse, get angry. Let it all out. It's for your eyes only. Make sure you set a timer and finish your writing by the one hour mark and then tear the paper you've just written on up into little pieces and throw it away. Take the garbage out. With it goes the anguish that you've been carrying for years. Guilt be gone. You have been holding on to the need for them to change and take responsibility before you will really let go of your pain. You have the power to change that with this exercise.

d. You're holding on to the need for them to change and take responsibility before you will really let go of your pain.

Forget this one please! I've worked with so many clients who have had major breakthroughs -real transformation by letting go of this one thing. You see you are actually punishing yourself the most by making demands on someone who is unwilling to meet them. Stop giving over your power to them by tying your happiness into their words and actions. Love yourself enough to know that a portion of the pain you're feeling is not even yours. It's time to let it go. Take a breath. And create a future free from the need to control others.

e. You aren't comfortable with real intimacy. You feel alone.

It pains me to know that so many people feel so lonely. I remember how very alone I was after my father took my mother's life. My brother and I weren't speaking. My mom was dead. My father was in jail. My fiance and I broke up. I felt damaged because of my parents' tumultuous relationship and because of how my mother died. I was afraid to be seen, truly seen because I felt ugly inside and I thought it would show. My anger wore on me. Most of my anger was for myself and the errors in my judgment of character -especially of my dad. I finally broke through my isolation by using a system of letting go and forgiving judgments of myself, my father, my brother and my mother. I broke free and found the love of my life who I've been with for twelve years. I had to let myself be truly seen by someone else and I could only do that after I forgave my judgments of myself and trusted myself enough to make better decisions. My brother and I also reunited ten years ago and I am adopting a 14 year old boy. I have a son! If I could go from extreme loneliness and depression to having a loving family and the best relationships in my life, I know you can too.

If you are experiencing the symptoms of unforgiveness, I encourage you to take action today so you can start feeling better as early as, well, right after you write that first letter!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Are-You-Really-Ready-to-Forgive-the-Person-Who-Betrayed-You?&id=7912396

Mindset Vs Skill - How to Succeed in Business (By Kathleen C Olivieri)

An online mentor of mine, Jennifer Allwood, shares that "business is 20% strategy and 80% mindset". While the "strategy" of a business is very important, to be successful you must have the right mindset about yourself, your company and your customers.

If you are a small business owner and you are looking for the "secret strategy" to change your business, you could spend all of your time in search of strategy. For example, scroll through Facebook and you will see the 100's of trainers, coaches and experts who are trying to sell you the latest "gadget" for success.

Stop enrolling in every Free Group and Free Download that you see. You are WASTING your time by chasing a shiny new object that is just not out there.

Learn the skills you need, know your audience, and stay plugged in to your industry. After that? It's all about Mindset.

How do you know if you have a mindset problem?

You keep searching for the "right" skill, the "right" training or that "right" coach that will give you the Magic Pill or Secret Sauce for success. Here are a few examples that might indicate you have a mindset problem:

• Complain about the success of others
• Enroll in every course/training you see on social media
• Continue to ask for the Right Words to describe your product or what you do
• Buy every planner in search of a better system
• Always busy but not completing Income Producing Activities
• Not consistent in small, daily activities

If you are searching constantly for skills, then you don't believe in yourself or your business. To succeed, you need the mindset component along with the skills.

Subconscious Mind

Your Subconscious Mind runs the show based on unfiltered information known as beliefs. Your Mind believes everything that you think. For example, when you say these things, your mind believes it:

• Why am I so stupid?
• I will never get that promotion.
• I'm not very pretty.
• I'm not smart enough.
• I'll never be successful like "Suzy".

Each and every time you say these phrases out loud and in your mind, your brain believes the statement! Next, you must learn how to change your mindset.

How to Change Your Mindset?

If we know that changing our mindset is key, then why are we not doing it? And most importantly how do we change our mindset? It's not easy, but keep it simple and you can Change Your Mindset!

There are several recommendations that I can make for changing your mindset.

• Personal Development?-?I highly recommend Mel Robbins and her resources.
• Daily Affirmations! Write them on your bathroom mirror or maybe a Pinterest board.
• Eliminate Distractions and get new friends
• Don't allow yourself to say negative things about yourself
• Make it an everyday habit

To get the life you want, you must let go of old limiting beliefs. Tackle the mindset beliefs that are keeping you from moving forward, keeping you from reaching your greatness!

If you have a small business, please know that you must have the skills for your business. But, you must also have the right mindset for success. You need skills and mindset!

How do you continually feed your mindset?

https://ezinearticles.com/?Mindset-Vs-Skill---How-to-Succeed-in-Business&id=10086868

Learning From Regrets

Most people have regrets about something in their lives which become an emotional baggage even when they are already dying. They feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that they have done, or something they haven't done or a loss or missed opportunity. They feel remorseful and sorrowful over an event, behavior or choice they have made in their lives.

Failure to act tend to be more memorable and enduring than regrettable actions.

If the mistakes made harm other people, there's a good reason to be regretful. With the realization that other choices could have been made with less negative results. But the failure to take action in a situation that may have resulted in harm could also be a situation where regret is understandable.

A lot of people who are living in the expectation according to society, friends or family lead a miserable life. They are regretful because they do not have the courage to live life to the fullest and are not brave enough to exist based on what they want to be not on what others want them to be.

According to a study I read, it was found out that women had most frequent regrets about romance, whereas men had work regrets. This implies that we don't really take the time to truly examine what really contributes to a long-term happiness and meaning in life. There are many factors that can significantly impact our happiness. But what's important is we live our lives according to our choice not with others.

We all have regrets. These can include things said or done; things left unsaid or undone. Paths that weren't followed; opportunities missed due to fear or insecurity. However, one of the biggest regrets in life by a lot of people is not being there for someone at the end of life.

Sometimes we work too much that we miss our child's milestones, youth and their partner's companionship. Most often, we are also afraid to show or express our feelings. We take life too seriously and we allow worries to diminish our happiness which should not be.

Life is too beautiful to complicate it with making a fuss over nothing. In the end, we regret every single minute of our unwise decisions.

Me, I live my life to the fullest despite the setbacks that I have in the past. There might be regrets but the bottom line is learning from them and now I am free to do what I want and not only live life but also exist happily with my kids.

Living your life according to your own terms is a key to dying without regrets. While we still have time, we should not give up too many of our dreams for the sake of pleasing others.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Learning-From-Regrets&id=9863326

How to Banish Negatives From Your Life

What is a negative? To begin with it is something that drains away spiritual power. It involves fiction, lies, anger, deceit, violence, fear and a myriad of other things that bring on mood changes, depression, and a feeling of worthlessness. Negative thoughts are always present when allowed and they change good things into bad. Feeling defeated by an inability to change things when they go wrong is one of the outcomes.

Other negatives that impact on one's life include clutter, alcohol, entertainment, the wrong friends, and also not having anyone to talk things out with. Loneliness, loss of hope, and low self-esteem will all quickly mount up to a major disaster if one is prepared to allow that to happen.

We often hear how a killer was a 'loner' and many criminals start out in this way. They are also anti-social when they try to hide their crimes. These are definitely not the ones to have around.

To overcome these negative forces is a simple matter of reversing them. While that sounds simple it is not always possible and that's where extra strategies and self-discipline are required. To begin with aim to restore the spirituality within. That is the wonderful feeling one gets when things are on track and when your insides ring with good health and a feeling of accomplishment.

As a spiritual person with memory of my reincarnation there are many times when I have had to push negativity aside, even from my own family. Being accused of being 'off the planet' and having them avoid me for one reason or another would be hard to take if it not for the Spirit within that leads and guides me.

Connecting with the Spirit means it is always a friend so one is never lonely. Because it builds confidence and steers its own onto the tight track one is able to overcome opposition because there is nothing that can hurt you. Those who criticise and condemn because they don't understand are nothing in God's eyes so why should they be a worry to someone who is shedding negative forces?

As the Spirit within grows stronger it even speaks to you. One's love for others increases and greater respect for the world is prominent. We are obviously witnesses great changes to the earth and world peace and it was predicted that certain things will happen before the last days. It is my opinion that we have entered that time and that those who seek answers will find them when they abandon the negative forces of the world.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Banish-Negatives-From-Your-Life&id=9440769

The Birth of Creative Work (By Sarah Koestner)

A few weeks ago I started taking a weekly art class. It's been great for me to connect to my creativity in a structured way. I have learned so much about my creative process and I've only been in the class for 3 weeks! I can't wait to see what else I learn over the next couple of months.

This week in class the focus was portraits. The instructor had us put a big blob of red paint in the middle of our paper, which was used to create the shape of the model's head. She told us to use black and white paint to convey where light and shadow were hitting the model. We had 15 minutes to complete the painting. The idea of this exercise was to work quickly and not get bogged down by thinking about each brushstroke.

We did three of these 15-minute paintings over the course of the class. Each time, mid-way through, I was convinced I was doing a terrible job and I should start over. (There's that sneaky inner critic again!) However, instead of crumpling up my paper, I breathed through the discomfort and finished each painting. And guess what?! A face emerged on the canvas. I started each painting with a big blob of paint in the middle of the paper and over the course of 15 minutes somehow I created a portrait. In a way, it was magical.

It got me thinking. When I'm in the middle of a rehearsal process I often go through a similar experience. I start off the project excited about the possibilities and happy about the chance to create something new, but in the middle of the process, I sometimes feel lost. Everything feels muddy and uncertain. It's a very uncomfortable time, often filled with self-doubt. It can feel as if you are eight months pregnant with your creative work, awkwardly lumbering about, anxiously waiting to give birth.

What I've come to realize is that the middle of the creative process is very much a liminal zone. Liminal is defined by Merriam-Webster as "of, relating to, or being in an intermediate state, phase, or condition." Liminal zones are transitional times in the human experience when we are neither here nor there. Examples of common liminal zones are: graduating, moving, starting a new job, getting married, being pregnant. These are often challenging times in our lives, filled with uncertainty and discomfort.

My thought for you today is to realize that the middle part of any creative process is a liminal zone. It's okay that in the midst of creation we are uncomfortable-- you could even say that it is natural or inevitable. You will get through it. Trust that you won't stay there forever. That "in-between place" is simply a part of the creative process. It is a necessary part of your art being "born." And while that is sometimes an uncomfortable, and even painful process, it is also necessary. We can't NOT create in order to avoid the discomfort. The consequences of denying ourselves artistic expression are simply too high.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Birth-of-Creative-Work&id=9218750

The Pathways To Creativity

There is a spirit in man and the inspiration of the Almighty gives them understanding"*

CREATIVITY: ABILITY TO ENGAGE IN AN ACTIVITY in order to CREATE!

What is creativity? Creativity, I will simply say is the ability to create or produce something new; it's that which a man possesses which makes him engage in activity that produces new dimension of awareness or reality. Creativity is the result of Inspiration or a higher consciousness of being. This article will take a brief look at how creative thoughts or ideas are formed or obtained.

(a) Thoughts: Your thought stream is a principal pathway to creative ideas. The human mind is the seat of thoughts, and countless thoughts pass thought the human mind every second. The mind is a very potent tool and when trained well to engage actively in creative ideas can generate useful and creative ideas. Great thoughts are products of great thinking; great inventors have been known to have personal thinking rooms.

(b) Dreams: The subject of dreams is of much controversy in different circles yet it is a common avenue through which great ideas have been known to have sprung from. I will not go into theories or works of psychologists like Sigmund Freud here.

In 1861 August Kekule woke from his sleep, and he came up with the structure of the Benzene Molecule the way he had seen it in his dream like a snake eating its tail. As much as dream is a pathway to creative ideas, it is not a must to stay asleep for hours to receive creative ideas.

A Pharaoh in Egypt saw in his dreams an imminent famine and this guided his decision to put in place the first grain storage system the world has ever known through the help of a Jewish youth who interpreted the dreams who was instantly promoted to the post of the Prime Minister of the then world power

(c) Silence: Most creative thoughts are brewed in silent moments. Listening to the voice of silence can reveal it to you. Being quiet in your heart can pave way for the next creative ideas it is clearly obvious that we perform less under much noise and confusion neither can we seem to fathom out any useful idea when we are troubled within us. Calmness and tranquility within us put us in a very good stead for conceiving more refined ideas.

(d) Meditation: Meditating or pondering on an issue can be another pathway to birthing a more useful idea, your subconscious mind could process and relate productive thoughts at this particular time as you reflect on an issue. As you spend more time pondering on a particular subject, you begin to see it from a new perspective and you are open to more ideas on the same issue.

(e) Ambiance: The environment you find yourself affects how you come to terms with your creativity. Have you ever wondered why multinationals and other big organizations take into cognizance their environment? They know how it affects their productivity and how it also makes it easy for their employees to be more creative. Spending time to create a more aesthetic environment around you will go a long way to affect how receptive you are to new ideas.

(f) Self awareness: Discovery always precedes recovery; constantly evaluating yourself makes you more aware of happenings around you as they relate to you. You consciously and regularly discover who you are. Your eyes are opened to your strengths and your weaknesses. And you gain new insights to how you can come up with the best ideas in the same situation.

(g) The Spirit of God: This is the most important source or pathway of creativity. In actual fact all the other pathways are subject to this. This Spirit is the main drive behind the creation of the Universe itself, and He is the one that triggers the creative nature within us. When we are in touch with Him He takes us to the unusual frequency where creativity resides. Access to Him activates the other pathways of creativity.

Keep achieving Greatness!

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Pathways-To-Creativity&id=8479414

Anger Management Through a Spiritual Experience (By Norma Holt)

Anger is an emotional response to hormones that are raised by situations and frustrations. It is most prominent in people with incapacity to think outside of the square and who respond violently to almost anything they can't handle. The trigger is usually something small that is blown up in their minds to a major problem. Name calling, for instance, can lead to murder and ridicule and bullying to a mental health problem in the victims.

Anger is not, therefore, a condition of the brain but an emotional response linked to other emotions, such as crying, violence, and withdrawal of an individual from society. When it subsides there is often embarrassment and sometimes regret on the part of the perpetrator while victims are left traumatised and possibly also angry.

History shows that anger on the part of governments have led to wars and the death of millions. Religious leaders have expressed their anger in the torture and execution of those not of their 'faith', while many have suffered extreme violence at the hands of their bishops or others claiming to work for God.

Behind it all is ignorance and disconnect with the spiritual guide within. This is something we are born with but it is quickly severed by claims that it is 'original sin' and must be overcome by admission to a religion. Baptism serves that purpose. The tools of persuasion are heaven and hell.

My reincarnation proves that neither place exists and that we have all reincarnated as promised for the end of the day. That time is fast approaching and all who have lived before are back as noted in prophecies in the Old Testament (Isaiah 26:19) and in the massive spike in population. That means that all who dictators, murderers, and such are back and they are once more doing their worst.

My link to the Spirit of the Universe, the real God, led to a commission to tear down the wall of blindness and confusion and bring in the harvest. That includes all who are now pouring out of religions and finding like company in spiritual groups. They have no anger but love and gratitude while those not part of this outpouring grow ever angrier. They are committing acts of terror and violence against anyone and everyone they can target and are ready to kill off the world.

No one can stop what is happening because God is angry. The evil of this world springs from lies that built up the wall so a thick fog hangs over it like black goo that is impenetrable. Now comes the retribution as stated in prophecy:

"Everyone that is found shall be thrust through; and every one that is joined with them shall fall by the sword. Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled and their wives ravished." Isaiah 13;15,16

People who find their link and turn with all their hearts to the Spirit are led away from the danger and the anger they felt subsides. They focus on the connection and they experience healing miracles and peace beyond understanding. This is the spiritual experience that provides a better way to manage anger.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Anger-Management-Through-a-Spiritual-Experience&id=9373059

Message From the Universe: Avoiding Challenges

"I know this may come as somewhat of a shock but of your innumerable and extraordinary gifts, one day you'll consider your present day challenges as the greatest of them all.

Trust me.

Now, wasn't I good to you?

The Universe"

Every day present its own challenges. Every day is different in some shape and forms. Schedules are different, your responsibilities, your actions, your behavior towards different events happening during that day. We might feel we are doing the same things over and over again, but from an outside perspective, it is different. But different is good, changes are important to always keep things exciting about life. Today's challenges might be extremely tough for you but when tomorrow comes, you will realize yesterday's challenges weren't such a big deal after all. The reason is because you are learning to handle them the proper way and becoming more mature about it.

So by changing your inner world towards being more acceptance of these difficult challenges, you are actually building an immunity to how it affects you. You are changing the perception by making decisions based on facts and without any panic. You are changing your behavior so you can look at things optimistically. When crap has to hit the fan, it will hit it no matter what. The question is: Will you stay in the trajectory of the crap coming towards you and panic about it or will you "Matrix Move" it ( When Neo bends backwards to avoid gun bullets from Agent Mr. Smith). The choice is yours.

ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Avoiding-Challenges&id=9686328

Do You Really Want to Say No to This Opportunity?

Many of us will have been offered opportunities that promised to take us out of our comfort zone. They may have included meeting new people, taking on tasks we felt ill-equipped to tackle, going to unfamiliar places, doing something rather daunting.

When faced with such a request we have to decide, 'do I do it, yes or no?'. Our immediate gut reaction may be to play safe and walk away from the stress of doing something new and challenging. But the fundamental question we need to ask ourselves at those times is, what happens if I decline, how will I feel about myself, do I really want to say no to this opportunity?

- Fear and panic can run a destructive path through our emotions, bringing with it a terrified voice that asks, 'what if I make a fool of myself', 'what if I freeze or can't do it?' Often though we're not stranded all alone in a scary, confusing situation. Assistance may be available in the form of friends or colleagues, who are often happy to provide help, support and guidance. If we have a conversation at the outset to discuss our concerns there are often positive ways to make the new opportunity work out well and bring many associated benefits, lessons and outcomes.

- Often too, there can be a 'should' or 'ought' narrative running in the background, compounding the pressure to follow other people's suggestions and do what they've advised. Pressure can come from family, friends, colleagues who may enjoy the opportunity to live vicariously through us, watching us undertake things they'd perhaps never do themselves.

- Determining what is the best, most honest path for us to follow can be a hard exercise. It's great to stretch ourselves and have a go, extend ourselves, maybe even scare ourselves a little, but we need to be clear about our motivation, rationale and ultimate goals.

- Yes, we can all say 'no' and revert back to normality, back to the status quo, but is that really as appealing and comfortable as it's cracked up to be. Don't you find that your comfort zone decreases in size the longer you spend in it? Sometimes taking a leap of faith and having a go, no matter what the outcome might be, can be invigorating and life-enhancing. It can re-ignite our enthusiasm to try something new, take on a challenge and learn a different skill, take a chance in another direction.

- Failure or lack of immediate success can be viewed in many different ways. You may initially not achieve as good a result as you would like but by whetting your appetite, dipping your toe in the water you may find that you earn the respect of others, improve your confidence and build your self-esteem. When others are aware that you're trying and having a go, taking a chance they will often see you in a better light and may even offer to mentor, support and encourage you along the way.

- More importantly, ask yourself how will you feel afterwards if you turn down an opportunity and say 'no'? Yes, you've played safe, avoided the stress and panic, not risked failure or a setback, but surely it's also disappointing to avoid risk and stay safely within your skill sets. Often when we've undertaken something daunting and new we come away feeling rather pleased with ourselves, even when things don't work out wonderfully well. We didn't shirk the chance and instead knuckled down and gave it our best shot. We may even congratulate ourselves on our bravery and courage, giving us something to be proud of.

But ultimately it is your right to say 'no'. If you really feel that you can't face what is being asked of you, then say so, clearly and without apology either to others or yourself. If this opportunity is meant to be a part of your life then it will present itself again, hopefully with more auspicious timing, perhaps in a different form. By then you'll be feeling better equipped, more positive and ready to give it a go. Check what your internal reasons are and then decide if you really want to say no to this opportunity.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Really-Want-to-Say-No-to-This-Opportunity?&id=9999744

This Simple Technique Can Reduce Your Pressure Immediately

What do you do when you're under pressure? How can you be at your best when it matters most? If only there were something that could reduce that pressure-immediately.

Well, I've got good news for you. There is something that can immediately reduce your pressure, and it's not tequila. First of all, tequila can be expensive. And second, tequila is not always around. The technique I'm going to tell you about is absolutely free, and it's something that is always available to you, no matter where you are.

I call it box breathing.

I first learned this technique years ago, when I began speaking professionally. Getting on stage to deliver the opening or closing keynote to an audience of hundreds-sometimes thousands-is a high-pressure moment. Your heart is pounding with anticipation, and you definitely want to be at your best. That's the time for box breathing.

Here's how it works:

1. Breathe in deeply through your nose, slowly counting to four.
2. Hold that breath for another slow count of four.
3. Breathe out through your mouth for, you guessed it, a slow count of four.
4. Hold the empty breath for a slow count of four.
5. Repeat the above steps.

I call it "box breathing" because the steps are like the side of a box: 4-4-4-4.
So why does this work? Several reasons.

First, when you're under pressure, your breath tends to become quick and shallow. This is bad for two reasons:

1. It increases the sense of panic.
2. Shallow breathing means that your brain isn't getting all the oxygen it needs. And believe me, when you're in a high-pressure situation, you want your brain to have oxygen!

Box breathing is all about breathing slowly and deeply, which reduces the panic and makes your brain happy!
The second reason this technique works is that it forces you to focus on something other than the pressure situation. The very act of slowing down and concentrating on just breathing and counting shifts your energy from a place of anxiety to a place of calmness.

Finally, box breathing gives you a sense of control. One of the reasons that high-pressure situations are high-pressure is because the outcome is uncertain. You feel like you don't have complete control over what's going to happen. But by focusing on something you do have control over-your breathing-you reduce the uncertainty.

I was once talking about box breathing with a friend of mine who happens to be a retired police officer. He said, "Oh yeah, they taught us that on the force. We use it all the time. I still use it!"

Getting on stage to deliver a keynote is pressure. But it's nothing compared to the pressure a police officer feels when confronting an armed suspect! If box breathing can help that police officer, then I'm guessing it can help you too!



https://ezinearticles.com/?This-Simple-Technique-Can-Reduce-Your-Pressure-Immediately&id=9812985

3 Things You Must Do to Achieve Your Goals

As we think about, and plan for next year - here's an idea - what if you set yourself up for success, instead of failure? There are 3 things you must do to achieve your goals, and potentially, change your life.

1. Know Yourself

People, in my experience, forget to take themselves, and how they behave into account when setting goals. They tend to consider what they want, and not consider what they must do to get it.

For example, if my goal is to exercise regularly, I might put "go to the gym" in my calendar three or four days a week. DONE! Woo hoo, I'm going to achieve my goal, right?! If it were that simple... here are some things to consider: Do I even look at my calendar regularly? Just because it's written down, will I do it or ignore it? What usually stops me when trying to achieve my goals? In the past, when I've achieved my goal, what process did I use that worked for me?

If you want to achieve your goals, the first step is to look at yourself realistically, without judgement, and take how you get things done into consideration.

2. Stretch 2 - 5 Steps Ahead of Where You Currently Are (and no further)

As my friend and colleague, Lisa Ferrer, points out, you can only manifest things that your mind believes. If you currently drive a Ford, it's probably too many steps ahead for your mind to believe that you're going to drive a Ferrari next year. Set your goals so they feel like a stretch and a little uncomfortable, in an exciting way. Remember, you can always stretch further. In fact, whenever we have our clients do vision boards, we use a frame that is easy to open so once they achieve the 2 - 5 step stretch, they can open the frame and add a picture of the next stretch goal.

Getting overly ambitious with your goals seems like a good thing to challenge yourself and move forward. Our experience with hundreds of clients is that being overly ambitious setting goals is detrimental to your overall results. So... what do you think about a new BMW?

3. Execute, Execute, Execute

A plan you execute is always more successful than a plan you don't. Make a list of all your goals. Look at all the things you want to accomplish and pick priorities. What is the one thing, if you accomplished that, would have the biggest impact? I went through this process myself a couple of years ago. After I made my list, I had over 20 goals written. I felt overwhelmed. I decided that exercising regularly would make everything else more reasonable to achieve because I would have more energy, my head would be clearer, and my body would be stronger. That year, I exercised seven days a week for over six months, and moved a bunch of other goals forward.

Pick your priorities, and focus on the goals that will have the biggest impact. Don't try to do too many things at a time, and remember, doing something is better than doing nothing.

You must take definitive action to achieve your goals, and these 3 steps are a must. Know yourself, and take how you get things done into consideration, and you will achieve more. Make your goal a stretch that is uncomfortably exciting, 2 - 5 steps ahead of where you currently are. When you achieve that, set the next goal. Lastly, you must execute on your goals to get them done!

http://ezinearticles.com/?3-Things-You-Must-Do-to-Achieve-Your-Goals&id=9840685

Weathering Stormy Feelings

I know looking back on my own life I can see many instances where I spoke or acted on impulse, due to the raging storms of emotion within me. Some very strong feelings are also triggered by our hormones. If we are unable to control these hormonal urges they may drive us to make impulsive decisions on sexual matters. The consequences of these impulsive decisions can be very long lasting in our lives. If we can manage our feelings, and better control our resulting thoughts and actions; we will not have so many occasions to later deeply regret.

A great deal of suffering can be drawn into our lives and the lives of those who live in close proximity with us, due to the way we think, speak and react to our feelings. This effect carries outward into our society like the ripples in a pond, bringing either waves of added suffering, or waves of added benefit to the lives of all those within our sphere of influence. We all interrelate with one another on some level. With the increased connections of the electronic age, and all the social media connections, our impact has a much broader range then was possible in the past.

Due to the fact that how we relate to one another, affects people on a far broader scale today, brings to mind the consideration of our responsibilities to one another. Although we are each responsible for ourselves, and our behavior, we need to keep in mind how the things we say, and the things we do, may influence and affect the lives of those around us. If we continue to react without thinking to our feelings; we will not be able to create the best possible life for ourselves.

We also need to consider how this ripple we start in the pond of our life, by the way we react to our feelings and beliefs, also flows out into the lives of our children and grandchildren. Furthermore how we react to our feelings, can negatively impact the lives of those we interact with, on a daily basis. For these and many other reasons, it is very wise to learn how to better cope with our inner feelings, in order to have the best possible experiences in life.

Our feelings combine with our beliefs about ourselves and others, along with the rules we abide by in our interactions with one another. This powerful mix of feelings and beliefs will influence how we will act in all the situations we find ourselves in. Our personal combination of feelings and beliefs creates our thoughts. Our thoughts carve out the reality we perceive within our life experience. Our life experience flows from this stream of feelings, beliefs, thoughts, words and actions as we create it.

I like how Thich Nhat Hanh describes our feelings, in his book Peace is Every Step. He says, "In us, there is a river of feelings, in which every drop of water is a different feeling, and each feeling relies on all the others for its existence. To observe it, we just sit on the bank of the river and identify each feeling as it surfaces, flows by and disappears."

Thich Nhat Hanh also says that "Mindful observation is based on the principle of "non-duality": our feeling is not separate from us or caused by something outside us; our feeling is us, and for the moment we are that feeling."

He goes on to describe how there are three sorts of feelings, pleasant, unpleasant and neutral. He says we should focus on observing our feelings, with love and attention; while using conscious breathing and mindfulness. This will help us to identify and acknowledge the feeling we are experiencing. If a feeling is unpleasant, we can mindfully embrace our feeling, like a Mother comforting a crying baby. Applying our energy to the feelings in this way, will help us to transform the unpleasant, or stormy feelings into either neutral or pleasant feelings as we practice.

1. The first step in transforming our feelings is to recognize each feeling as it arises.

(Example from Peace is Every Breath) "Breathing in, I know there is an unpleasant feeling in me." "Breathing out, I know there is an unpleasant feeling in me." We want to keep our breathing calm and light so our mind and body can begin to reach the same equilibrium. As we identify the feeling using mindfulness, we can address it by name, such as "anger", "sorrow' or "fear." Do not seek to drive the feeling away, simply acknowledge it. "Hello Fear, (Anger, Sadness) How are you today my friend?"

2. With the second step you will invite your feeling and mindfulness to shake hands and connect with each other.

Allow your mindfulness to greet and care for the stormy unpleasant feeling you are experiencing. As the feelings connect with each other, mindfulness will calm the stormy feeling for you. It may seem frightening at first, but with practice your mindfulness will gain strength and will help you transform these stormy feelings.

3. The third step is to calm the feeling you are experiencing.

"Breathing in, I calm the activities of my body and mind." Again use the visualization of a Mother holding and comforting a crying baby. As the baby feels the tenderness and love of the Mother (your mindful energy) the feeling (baby) will calm down. "Breathing out, I calm my... " (fear, anger, sadness... )

We do not need to bury, reject or drive away our feelings. What we need to do is mindfully and lovingly embraces them. As you lovingly embrace the feeling, with your mindful energy; you will transform the stormy feeling, with your love and compassion, into a more beneficial and pleasant feeling. With this gentle approach we will be able to withstand the storms that pass through the branches of our being. Mindfulness will help us to understand all of our feelings are an important part of us. When we acknowledge and embrace our stormy feelings they can be transformed into positive and beneficial energies. We can then go on to create a happier, more positive and successful life experience for ourselves. This will also benefit all those we hold especially dear.

I strongly suggest reading Thich Nhat Hanh's book, Peace is Every Step, for a more detailed and comprehensive explanation of this wonderful process.

In the Christian tradition the feelings and thoughts we experience are considered in Philippians 4:6-8 as follows. "6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think on these things... "

I think that an attitude of gratitude and a heart filled with thanksgiving along with lips that look for every opportunity to praise; will lift our hearts from many a moment of sorrow or despair. In addition using the mindfulness approach to transform our feelings can be utilized within any faith.

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Khalil Gibran

Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/khalil_gibran

When dealing with your feelings, or those of another, consider the words of Jalaluddin Rumi, the thirteenth-century Persian poet. "Listen with ears of tolerance! See through the eyes of compassion! Speak with the language of love."

In summary we all experience a vast array of feelings. Enjoy the pleasant ones; transform the unpleasant stormy feelings by mindfully embracing them. Acknowledge all feelings, for they are a valid of expression of who you are, and what is meaningful to you. Love and accept yourself feelings and all! Seek to better understand why you feel the way you do, and in so doing you will come to better understand both yourself, and the others who are important to you in your life.

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