I've spent the last decade battling alcohol. Sometimes, I even felt like I won. But, it always came back. Every time I got weak, there was my 'friendly bottle' to ease my suffering. Addiction always starts with pain. Always.
Every time I relapsed, alcohol opened the gates of hell and pulled me in. It is only by the grace of God that I am even here to share my story. One serious episode was a five-day bender that almost poisoned me. It was close. For more than a week, my body suffered the effects of so much alcohol.
Hiding this disease and all the lies that comes with that broke down the fabric of who I was. Today, I can tell the truth and feel some pride in knowing my word has value. Bless those who never gave up on me and I pray for wisdom and compassion for those who chose to judge.
One time, I revived my battle with the bottle thinking I would take a brief respite from the physical pain of some oral surgery combined with the emotional shock of another sudden death in my family. I couldn't even attend the funeral as I was still so toxic from the relapse.
For those who don't believe in a dark side, trust me when I testify that it's so real that I've tasted it. An innocent looking bottle of wine opened the door to Pandora's box that almost marked the end of me. It was close and I was weak in the fight. I've never prayed harder.
Good and evil exist. Christ can lead the way to freedom with His light but you have to ask Him in. With His power and protection, one can be pulled from the presence of evil that actually waits for the door to open. The darkness beckons with temporary peace, freedom and ease of pain until you relax into it and then the trap springs shut and all three disappear.
Alcohol leads one into a dark hole where the spirit of darkness lives-void of all five senses except the utter chill of misery. In that darkness, a choice starts to form like a flicker of thought until the answer burns brightly. That is the point one meets God and the story turns.
Full addiction is a complete takeover. Once the chemical hooks are triggered, there is no negotiating away with thought. It takes an intervention-sometimes chemical to weaken those bonds.
The battle with alcoholism doesn't end. It goes into remission. Addiction is a spiritual malady that turns mental and finally manifests physically. It is time to defeat this 'fatal, progressive disease.'
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