How to Move On After a Break Up - 5 Tips To Get Past the Heartache

How to Move On After a Break Up and Overcome Heartache

It's so very difficult to move on after a break up, yet we often don't have a choice. Maybe you messed up bad, causing the break up; or you both decided it just wasn't working anymore. No matter the case, if it's really over, you must find a way to deal with heartbreak and move on with your life. Let's look at a few ways to get started.

5 Ways to Move On After a Break Up

1. Understand the Timing It's important to remember that heartache is temporary. Have you noticed all the songs on the radio about breakup-induced devastation? Those songs are possible because the songwriter, singer, and fans have all experienced it. We all get over it too. Don't forget this when you begin thinking you'll never get over your ex.

The devastation won't go away overnight, but it will lessen a little bit each day. This is true even for couples who break up after decades of marriage. The heart eventually heals. You just have to accept that the relationship is over, believe in a positive future for yourself, and give yourself time to recover.

2. Treat Yourself Right After a Break Up

No matter how your relationship ended, it's important not to beat yourself up about it. No amount of self-loathing will change things or make you feel better. Just remember that people make mistakes, but mistakes don't make you a bad person.

If you messed up in the relationship, use the time after a break up to consider how to make better choices next time. If you were mistreated by your ex, don't criticize yourself for putting up with it. It's time to move forward, so celebrate yourself for having the courage to do so. Relationships give us amazing opportunities to learn about ourselves and others, so focus on those lessons instead of any negative thoughts that come to mind. After a break up, you must deliberately choose positive thoughts to recover any hits to your self esteem.

3. Accept That's It's Over So You Can Get Over It

To move on after a break up, you must obviously accept that it's over. If you still want to get back with your ex, make sure it is because the relationship is salvageable and not because you just want the heartache to stop. You deserve better than a bad relationship, so don't hold on to something that makes you unhappy.

4. After a Break Up Stop Picking at the Wound

Moving on after a break up means letting go. For good! This can't be done if you refuse to close the door on your past. Think about what happens when you have a cut on your arm. First you stop the bleeding, then protect it from infection. A scab develops and the healing process continues. Eventually, you have a fading scar and you've forgotten all about that old wound. Unless... you refuse to let it heal.

What happens if you remove the Band-aid, pull off the scab, dig in the wound from time to time? You cause more pain, put yourself at risk of infection, thwart the healing process, and end up with an uglier scar. The same is true when dealing with heartache after a break up.

Every time you call your ex, it's like removing the bandage from a healing wound. When you sit around listening to sad music, wondering what your ex is doing, it's like scraping off the scab. Even if you're calling your ex's friends or family, trying to keep a more distant connection going, it's like reopening the wound that's trying to heal. Stalking, texting, following, begging... it's all re-injuring your broken heart. Muster the strength to sever connections to your ex, even when you feel desperate to hold on.

5. Take a Break After a Break Up

After a break up, a new lover can serve as a distraction from the heartache and pain. However, while it feels better, dating so soon is usually a bad decision. For starters, you might confuse feeling better with healing. These are not one in the same. You must properly bemoan a lost love in order to heal; and distracting yourself with a new "love" will only get in the way. You'll push the heartache just below the surface, where it becomes baggage you take into all future relationships. This is why rebound relationships have a high likelihood of failure, and they generally come with compounded pain from the previous lost love. The solution is obvious: Go through the heartache until you come out on the other side. You will, absolutely, survive.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Move-On-After-a-Break-Up---5-Tips-To-Get-Past-the-Heartache&id=9116141

The Power of Asking Questions- Jim Rohn

You can learn something from everyone—if you’re curious enough

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who only responded in two- or three-word sentences, and you walked away feeling like you learned very little? The person might not have been intentionally giving you short answers; perhaps you could have phrased your questions better. A lot of people fail to understand the power of asking quality questions.

One effective tip for asking stronger questions is to frame questions in a positive tone. For example, ask, “How can I help with that?” instead of, “What do I have to do?” Framing things positively assures the direction of the conversation and leaves others with a pleasant memory of the exchange.

Listening matters. When we ask good questions, we are more likely to get responses worth listening to and answers that have valuable information for us personally or professionally. If you want to increase your impact and accomplish even better results, become a master at  listening.

Curiosity is key. A few years ago, I participated on a panel about success with Zig Ziglar and Denis Waitley. The three of us were interviewed in Zig’s studio by our friend Gerhard Gschwandtner, founder and CEO of Selling Power Inc. At one point during the interview, I reversed the question to Gerhard: “What do you think is the key to success?” He surprised me with his response: Curiosity. He suggested that curiosity allows a person to ask questions, learn and truly grow.

You can learn from everyone. Being curious and asking questions can help you learn things you can use to create results faster.

http://www.success.com/article/the-power-of-asking-questions

Don’t Be an Old Grump. Here Are 9 Ways to Think Young

Ideas to help you kick your old-man attitude to the curb

Youth is wasted on the young—or at least that’s what they say, but it would be a travesty if it were true. Youth is not only a time of life; it’s also a state of mind. Harvey Mackay, best-selling author and business speaker, says he stopped counting after his 39th birthday. He still considers himself young—and he intends to stay that way.

You can have a youthful outlook and attitude at an old age, or an old-fogey attitude at a young age. The choice is yours.

Want to stay young at heart and mind? Here are Mackay’s ideas to help you:

1. Keep only cheerful, positive friends.

You can pick your friends, and I like to choose those who are positive and those who challenge me. They make me feel good. They don’t drag me down or make me angry at the world. Negative peoplesee the difficulty in every opportunity, while positive people see the opportunity in every difficulty.

2. Keep learning.

I think Henry Ford put it best when he said, “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” I’ve always said that you should be in school all your life—never stop learning.

3. Enjoy the simple things.

Don’t forget to take time to enjoy the things that you like to do—go for a walk or to the movies, read a good book, watch a favorite TV show, spend time with your family. You have to have a good balance in life.

4. Laugh often.

Starting your day with a good laugh, or at least a big smile, is as beneficial to your health as it is to your mood. Scientific studies have concluded that laughter benefits the heart, lungs, stomach and other organs. It relaxes tensions, changes attitude and increases the body’s natural painkillers. Plus it has no harmful side effects.

5. Stay in shape.

Exercise is good for your mind as well as your body. Studies show that healthy employees have decreased absenteeism, better performance and improved morale. I’ve always felt that a healthy workforce is a productive workforce.

The human body is the only machine that wears out faster if it is not used. Cherish your health. If you’re healthy, do what you can to preserve it. If your health is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

6. Be happy.

You are responsible for your own happiness. We sometimes convince ourselves that life will be better after we get a better job, make more money, get married, have a baby, or buy a bigger house. Yet the accomplishment of any of those events might not make any difference at all. There is no magic secret to happiness, but it starts in your head.

7. Don’t stress out.

You can’t escape stress, but you can avoid creating unnecessary anxiety. You just need to find a stress reliever. Mine is sports—going to a game, playing golf, swimming or jogging.

If the stress just won’t go away, then you have to make some changes in your life that might be more stressful in the short term, but healthier in the long run.

8. Don’t take guilt trips.

I remember a story about the worry tree. At night, an accountant would go home from work and place all his worries on a tree in his front yard. The next morning he would pick up those worries on his way to work, but surprisingly, they weren’t as heavy the next day.

9. Visualize yourself as youthful and with endless energy.

I learned years ago that visualization is the most powerful means of attaining personal goals. Visionaries can achieve whatever they want by determining a plan to attain it and expecting positive results.

Visualization doesn’t do the planning, and it doesn’t anticipate the obstacles, but it gives you a real idea of what is possible, if you want it bad enough. Vision is not so much what you think as how you think. If you can visualize it, you can make it happen.

Mackay’s Moral: If you want to stay youthful, stay useful.

http://www.success.com/article/dont-be-an-old-grump-here-are-9-ways-to-think-young

7 Signs You Have Too Many Toxins In Your Life

You think you’re healthy, but you don’t feel vibrant. You struggle to find the energy to get through the day. You’re irritable. Your stomach isn’t acting right. And all those headaches!

These types of ailments affect many of us in our daily lives. They’re not serious enough to warrant a trip to the doctor — or maybe you tried only to be told there was nothing wrong — but they still tend to drag you down, wearing away your resistance and leaving you feeling like you’re just getting old.

I have good news for you — it probably has nothing to do with aging. Instead, you may simply be surrounded by too many toxins.

Not sure? Here are seven signs to look for — and how you can clean up your system and feel better in 30 days!

Note: Always check with your doctor to eliminate any possible medical conditions as causes of these symptoms.

1. Consistent fatigue

Even if you’re sleeping well, you may fight to get through the day. This could be a sign that your body is working too hard to get rid of the toxins you’re pouring into it. How do you cope with fatigue? If you’re answer is “more coffee” or “sweet foods,” you can bet that you’re only making the problem worse. That fatigue could also be in response to hormone disruptors that are zapping your immune system.

2. Stubborn weight gain

It’s never easy to lose weight, but if you’re exercising daily and cutting back on calories and you’re still putting on the pounds, you could be looking at a hormonal problem. Strangely enough, our natural hormone function can be greatly affected by the toxins in our foods and personal care products. You need a complete detox of your diet and personal care routine to give your body a fighting chance.

3. Bad breath

You brush and brush, chew gum, rinse, and swallow breath mints, and still, you can’t get rid of it. Bad breath is often related to digestive problems, but it can also mean that your liver is struggling to get rid of the toxins in your body. Until you tackle the problem from the source, you’ll continue to scare away anyone who comes close!

4. Constipation

The intestines get rid of a lot of toxins every day of our lives. When we’re constipated, we’re storing up all those toxins, allowing them to negatively affect our bodies. In addition to stomach upset, constipation can cause headaches, aches and pains, and tiredness. It can also be related to the toxins in your life, especially if you’re consuming a lot of processed foods filled with chemicals, pesticides, and preservatives.

5. Sensitivity to scents

Strong reactions to smells — particularly fragrances — might mean that you’re simply sensitive to chemicals, which many of us are. It can also mean that your body is fighting toxic overload. Particularly if you suffer headaches or stomach upset simply from scents, this may be the case.

6. Muscle aches and pains

If you can’t tie these to your workout yesterday, could be that the toxins in your life are working away at your muscles and joints. This is more likely if you experience muscle aches on a regular basis.

7. Skin reactions

Acne, rashes, and other skin problems may signal a toxic overload. Acne, in particular, can be related to the toxins in our diet or skin care products. Puffy eyes and eczema or psoriasis outbreaks can also be signs that you’ve just reached your toxic limit.

My Solutions

• If you find yourself suffering from any of these seven symptoms, here are a few tips that may help:
• Support your liver with things like dandelion tea, parsley, cilantro, and milk thistle.
• Drink more water — it helps flush toxins out of your body.
• Exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Exercise gets the circulation moving, helping to move toxins along.
• Get a good daily supply of digestion-supportive probiotics, found in kefir, yogurt, sauerkraut, Kombucha tea, miso soup, tempeh, and kim chi.
• Always brush your tongue — even better, use a tongue scraper—when brushing your teeth.
• Practice deep breathing — we get rid of a lot of the toxins in our bodies through our lungs.
• Use only natural skin care products that are free of fragrances, sulfates, phthalates, parabens, and other potentially toxic ingredients, and always read labels. Use my Ingredients to Avoid list to find safer options.
• Choose clean, whole, and organic foods whenever possible!

Here's to living a healthy, toxin-free life!

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13737/7-signs-you-have-too-many-toxins-in-your-life.html

9 Tips to Say It Better

Do you want people to listen to you and take you seriously? It’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it.

You have great ideas and are on a mission to change the world—or at least part of the world. You want to make an impact on others. And you want people to take you seriously. So, how can you?

No, you can’t always control what others do, but you can control yourself. And to optimize your effect, consider the virtues of vocal influence.

To demonstrate the importance of voice, let’s look at the research. One study asked more than 300 people to rate certain personality traits. Participants were asked to rank traits such as trustworthiness, dominance and attractiveness based solely on the word “hello.” The result? An agreement of .92, indicating a significantly high agreement among participants for the personality traits each voice held. The take-home? People are judging you by your voice, without even realizing it.

The good news is that you can make a few changes to optimize the impact of your voice. Here are nine tips to take control of your voice so you can more powerfully influence others:

1. Use a deeper voice.

A lower-toned voice is perceived as being more authoritative and knowledgeable. Numerous studies have shown that a deeper voice is associated with traits such as being perceived as a leader, being better remembered and making more money.

If you don’t naturally have a deep voice, though, be careful. A study out of Duke University found that women who tried to lower their voices into what is called a vocal fry are perceived as less competent and trustworthy.

2. Change your inner dialogue.

The other day I was working with a woman who I had hired to assist me with a specific project. It became apparent immediately that she felt some resentment toward me, despite never having met her before. Her insecurities were inadvertently coming through in her voice—not in what she said but how she said it.

To prevent this from happening to you, address what you are saying to yourself by crushing your inner critic to help you develop a confident and positive voice inside and out.

3. Smile.

Smiling can actually cause you to feel happier, which can be conveyed in your voice. And people are often drawn toward positive people. What’s more, smiling causes structural changes in your mouth, which can influence the tone you produce. Smiling helps you sound more friendly and responsive.

4. Use a dynamic tone.

Monotone, or a flat voice, conveys that you are bored, or boring—neither of which will help you influence others. Instead, try to vary your tone with some higher and some lower pitches. It will sound more compelling and engaging.

5. Use speed wisely.

Slow speakers are judged as being less honest, less compelling and less powerful than those who speak more quickly. Speakers with faster-paced speech are deemed more energetic, competent and smart.

This does not mean to talk like an auctioneer but rather to use speed in a manner where the listener can feel your excitement and still comprehend what you are saying.

6. Don’t be afraid of a pause.

While this may seem like a contradiction to the tip above, using pauses wisely can also help you be impactful. For example, pausing before a statement can help enhance its sense of importance. A brief delay in speech can also help you gather your thoughts without the dreaded “um” or “you know” that can damage your effectiveness as a speaker.

7. Speak in their accent.

Research finds that people tend to distrust those with an accent that differs from theirs. While you may not be able to control your native tongue, you may want to consider taking steps to change your accent.

A friend of mine is a well-known TV personality who grew up with a thick Boston accent. When he moved, he realized how important it was to viewership to drop his Northeastern intonation.

8. Breathe.

Shallow, anxious breaths can result in tightened vocal cords, which can cause your voice to not only sound more anxious, but also go up (see tip 1 for why you want to avoid this). Deep, belly breaths, on the other hand, can reduce anxiety, relax your vocal cords and create a tone that is calmer.

9. Inflect down.

Inflection refers to where you place emphasis on the words. Those who tend to use a rising inflection (starting with a lower pitch and ending higher, such as when you are asking a question) are viewed as more uncertain and less trustworthy. Instead, use a down inflection (going from a higher tone to lower) to convey confidence and authority.

http://www.success.com/article/9-tips-to-say-it-better

5 Simple Questions Successful People Ask Themselves Every Day

Are you really thinking about your actions or are you going through the motions?

Last month’s SUCCESS.com article on 10 things successful people never do again reminded me of Steve Jobs’ often-quoted philosophy about the importance of questioning yourself. “If today were the last day of my life, would I do what I’m about to do today?” It’s true: The most successful people have the ability to objectively evaluate themselves on a regular basis—their skills, their actions and their progress toward goals.

They don’t sleepwalk through the routine. They’re actively thinking about the things they do. But questioning yourself doesn’t mean second-guessing yourself. It means evaluating your status and objectives, and what you’ll do to reach them with a clear, unbiased mind. It’s a practice that will help make you think and become more successful in work and life.

Here are five simple questions that successful people ask themselves every day:

1. Am I in the right niche?

If you don’t have passion for your job, you won’t be motivated to overcome the natural barriers and obstacles that life puts in the way of success. And even if you started out with passion by the bucketful, that can fade. This is why it’s so important to routinely check in with yourself and your motivation. If you feel like your passion is waning and you’re burning out, a change may be necessary to reignite your energy for business. Finding a niche that sustains you emotionally will give you the clear mind and passionate drive you need to succeed.

2. Am I learning from my mistakes?

Most patterns of success include plenty of failure. That’s completely normal—even healthy. However, the important thing is that you’re learning and you’re rarely making the same mistake twice. When you hit a roadblock, take time to evaluate what went wrong, what needs to change, and how you can prevent it from happening in the future. Try to take a nugget of wisdom from each failure you encounter on your road to success.

3. Am I consistently pushing my own boundaries?

Success isn’t attained by driving the speed limit or sticking to the beaten path. You can rest assured that the people who do well in your industry are constantly pushing ahead and challenging their own boundaries. Creating new, more audacious goals and attempting to reach them will keep your passion ignited and keep you striving toward success. Push through professional barriers and always look to achieve the impossible.

4. What is my game plan?

While you are challenging yourself, you should also map out strategies that will allow you to become more efficient and precise. If you are trying to work faster and better, you need to develop routines and processes that allow you to do so. Sit down and create the physical map that will take you from where you are to where you want to go. Leave room for detours that could end up being shortcuts as you learn and grow.

5. Do I still believe I can do this?

The most important ingredient of success is the belief in yourself and what you’re striving toward. The highest ambitions are nothing without the conviction that you can actually reach them. Take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if your passion and drive match up with your aspirations. Skills and know-how are less than half the battle. If you don’t believe you can do it, it’ll be hard to convince anyone else you can. You have to be your own cheerleader before you can expect anyone else to be.

http://www.success.com/article/5-simple-questions-successful-people-ask-themselves-every-day

4 Things to Do When Your Brain Is Tired

... and how to keep it from getting that way in the first place

Lately, I’ve been physically exhausted by 7 p.m. Just plain tired. Yet it’s not like I’ve run a marathon or anything: Most days I’ve just tossed in a couple of loads of laundry, between sessions of wall ball with my daughter, and between phone interviews, blog posts, magazine assignments, copy edits, and invoicing, which happens just after a short workout and before I cook dinner.

Like most people, I’ve got a full summer schedule. And for all the flexibility I have with how I spend my time, I wind up using it all. There are very few breaks in my day to unwind.

That’s not a good thing. In fact, the physical fatigue I feel at the end of the day has more to do with my mental exhaustion than any exercise I’m getting. And that kind of mental tiredness can sneak up on anyone.

Causes of Mental Fatigue

Mental exhaustion isn’t necessarily the result of things gone wrong, or any big upset (though it can be) but more likely an accumulation of too much: Too many decisions. Too much work (in not enough time). Too many interruptions, demands, and shifts in attention. Too many things going on without time to pause and restore.

This kind of mental tiredness knocks us back when the volume of tasks and activities we’ve taken on exceeds our capacity to comfortably handle the stress (even the positive stress) of it all.

Sometimes mental exhaustion can be a result of health issues: Depression, heart disease, chronic illness, and autoimmune disease can all lead to insomnia or trouble sleeping, which can cause mental fatigue. It may be worth checking out this angle with your doctor.

But as for me, I sleep well, feel satisfied in my life, and yet, there are times when even the good stuff becomes taxing because there is just too much going on.

The more mentally tired we become, the less capable we are of keeping up with the demands of the day. It becomes harder to make healthy decisions, stay focused on tasks, and remain calm. It can also become difficult to regulate our emotions. Over time, mental exhaustion can lead to full-blown burnout, physical issues, and stress-related illness. But, as soon as you realize why you are feeling so tired, you can take steps to restore and feel better fast.

Signs of Mental Fatigue

Mental fatigue can manifest in many ways:

• Physical fatigue. Your body feels tired and you’d rather curl up on the lawn chair with a margarita than head for a run at the end of the day, even though you spent most of your day sitting at a desk.
• Impatience and Irritability. You become snappish with others and may be more quickly triggered to anger or upset.  
• Inability to concentrate or focus. It becomes harder to finish your work or tasks. You may find it more difficult to make decisions, find the right word, or focus on one job at a time.

Four Ways to Ease Mental Fatigue

How can we manage some of these more demanding days without letting them grind us down? Here are four suggestions:

1. Make fewer decisions.
   We are faced with scores of decisions each day and by the end of all that decision-making, our mental energy and self-control can take a hit, according to research from Kathleen Vohs. Then we are more likely to make unhealthy decisions and do what feels easiest, like lay on the couch, rather than exercising or opting for a drive-through burger instead of cooking a healthy meal. One way to offset this dip in mental energy may be to limit your decisions during the day. Make the same coffee order every day. Eat the same dinner every Tuesday. By keeping some basic, routine decisions simple (or eliminating them altogether) we have more mental energy to deal with the rest of our days.
2. Start seeing green.
   

   Source: Image from freeimages.com
   Take a mini-break and look out the window. Just one minute of looking at grassy rooftops reduced errors and improved concentration
   (link is external)
    among students, according to research from the University of Melbourne. “It’s really important to have micro-breaks,” says Dr. Kate Lee, who led the study. “It’s something that a lot of us do naturally when we’re stressed or mentally fatigued. There’s a reason you look out the window and seek nature: It can help you concentrate on your work and to maintain performance across the workday.” So take a break and gaze out at a green space or head for a brief stroll through the park during lunch. The break will help you feel restored and better able to focus on the tasks ahead.
   
   
3. Just get up and go.
   Several studies show the value of exercise in boosting concentration and mental focus.
   (link is external)
    Twenty minutes can improve performance and short, intense exercise sessions can increase blood flow to the brain and improve your mood, memory, and creativity.
4. Take time off.
   Whether it’s a mini-break or a week away, time off is essential to fighting mental fatigue. You can do this even on your busiest days by making sure you take a regular lunch break, or set aside 15 minutes with nothing planned to take a walk, or at least a breath. Then, each week, be sure to leave some time open and unplanned. Just don’t fill in all the slots on your calendar. That open time can give you a mental reprieve but also allows room for unexpected opportunities to develop. 

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/imperfect-spirituality/201507/4-things-do-when-your-brain-is-tired

The 3 Ways People React to Change

Are you non-active, reactive or proactive? Plus, we tell you how to take charge of inevitable change.

I can still remember sitting around the dinner table at 15, hearing my mother say, “What do you think about moving?” as she casually passed me the mashed potatoes.

What do I think? I think it’s a horrible, terrible, unbearable idea. I love this house, my friends, my school, and the thought of moving again just three years after the last time makes me want to burst into tears! “Because we’ve bought a new house and will be relocating in a couple of weeks!” she continued, dribbling gravy over her plate.

Even as adults, most of us don’t choose change. We get comfortable with our routines, our lives, our friends, our cocktail of choice, even our routes to work, and any detour can be a source of frustration, fear and stress—we prefer the security of what we know. But change is unavoidable, and how we react to it determines the outcome, good or bad.

For example, let’s say you have a 30-year-old shake shingle roof on your home, and during a home inspection you are told your roof has a slim to none chance of holding up through the winter rain. (Why am I using this example? Because I just wrote a big fat check to the roofing company!) What would you do?

There are usually three ways that people react to change:

• Be non-active.

These are the type of homeowners who find out they have a leaky roof but just sit back, singing the song, “It Never Rains in Southern California,” hoping that will make it so. Basically, they resist the change and choose to remain in denial. If I don’t address the issue, it’s not really there. It won’t happen to me, so I’m just going to continue to go about my business. Or they cop an attitude and say, It’s not fair. Why me? Either way, they don’t move forward and stay stuck. They are choosing the pay later versus now, approach—and pay they will.

• Be reactive.

The home owner frantically starts calling the local roofers and feels the pressure to make a fast decision. They don’t have all the necessary facts but make a decision anyway to eliminate their immediate stress and worry. It’s a knee-jerk reaction. It’s the individual who finds out they may lose their job, freaks out, visits 30 placement agencies, and the following Monday they have a new job—but not really one that fits their skill set or talent.

• Be proactive and positive.

A few months back, the home owners accepted how old the original roof was and started to do their homework. They asked all their friends and neighbors for recommendations, did research on the Internet about roof materials during their spare time and started interviewing roofers suggested by others. They prepared a budget and started saving for the new roof, which is scheduled to be put on before the rainy season begins. They put their focus on what they could do, focused on the positive outcomes and took action.

Obviously, the ideal way to deal with change is to be is proactive because you feel more in control. And the more we feel we have control over the situation, the less stress and frustration we feel. It doesn’t matter if it’s a roof, a divorce, a career restructuring or a diet—when we take charge of change, the journey feels more comfortable and ends up more rewarding.

Easy to say, but how do you choose to be proactive when it’s so easy to freak out or hide under the covers?

• Acknowledge that change is part of life. Nothing would exist without change. It’s inevitable. We wouldn’t even be born if our parents hadn’t changed (or grown up).

• Accept your emotions. Tell the truth on yourself to allow all your feelings. Cry the crocodile tears and release the energy as it comes up. Be patient, as it takes time to sort through all your emotions and adjust to change. Too often we skip over this step, shove our emotions down and that ends up slowing us down.

• Reframe the situation to see the positive. After I processed my sadness about having to relocate, I started to dream about the possibilities ahead. I could meet exciting new people, have updated décor in my bedroom and no one would know about that stupid thing I did in the 4th grade!

• Action is required because decisions, not conditions, determine your path. By deciding to move forward and trust the process, we put our focus on what is available. I took steps to learn all I could about the neighborhood, activities and school. By taking positive action, I was able to let go of my fears and move forward believing that everything will work out for the best.

And since change is constant, I recently had the opportunity to explore the steps once more when my husband and I decided to divorce. I chose to be proactive, cry my river of tears, focus on the positive benefits that come from speaking the truth and took the steps to move forward trusting that all our lives will eventually change for the better. And they have. It required I move again, but today, my world is spinning with wonderful possibilities.

Remember, every pot needs to be replanted now and again if it’s going to grow. Embrace change and continue to become the person you were always meant to be.

http://www.success.com/article/the-3-ways-people-react-to-change

8 Ways to Balance Your Workload for Max Productivity

How to make the most of your time on the clock

The drudgery and routine of our daily lives presents the greatest danger to our dreams. Why? We run the risk of losing our focus and motivation to achieve what we want most. By re-energizing and renewing ourselves frequently, though, we can avoid burnout and become much more motivated and productive.

Balance and consistency are the keys.

Enjoy the process, not just the result. Don’t fight the passing of time. Don’t fear it, squander it, or try to hide from it under a superficial cosmetic veil of fads and indulgences. Life and time go together. Do enjoy each phase of life. Do make the most of each day and draw maximum joy from each moment.

Good time management means that you maximize the daily return on the energy and mental effort you expend. Here are eight ways to maximize your time productivity:

1. Write down in one place all your important goals and priorities. Write down every commitment you make at the time you make it.

2. Stop wasting the first hour of your workday. Having that first cup of coffee and socializing at the water cooler are two of the costliest opening exercises that lower your productivity.

3. Do one thing at a time—well. It takes time to start and stop work on each activity. Stay with a task until it is completed.

4. Don’t open unimportant mail. More than one-fourth of the mail you receive can be tossed or deleted before you even open or read it.

5. Handle each task only once and never more than twice. Don’t set aside anything without taking action. Carry work, reading material and your laptop with you everywhere you go—convert downtime into uplink time.

6. Spend time planning your to-do list—20 minutes at the beginning of each week and 10 minutes at the beginning of each day.

7. Set aside personal relaxation time during the day. Don’t work during lunch. It’s neither noble nor nutritional to skip important energy input and stress-relieving time. Throughout the day, ask yourself, What’s the best use of my time right now? As the day grows short, focus on projects you can least afford to leave undone.

8. Take vacations often, mini-vacations of two or three days, and leave your work at home. The harder you work, the more you need to balance your leisure time.

http://www.success.com/article/8-ways-to-balance-your-workload-for-max-productivity