In this post I’ve listed some of the most impactful techniques that will help you change behavior, get better results and attract more positive experiences.
1. Dissociation
It’s easy to react to something negatively and then become stressed or upset about it. For example, if your partner drives you crazy and you get angry in response.
The following NLP technique can help neutralize negative emotions in such situations. It can even cure phobias, because it allows to objectively view the situation.
Here are the steps:
1. Identify what emotion you want to get rid of, be it fear of spiders, uneasiness about some person or dislike of some place.
2. See yourself encountering the situation from start to finish, as an observer.
3. Play the same mental movie backwards, then fast-forward it and then play it backwards again.
4. Play it backwards and then add a funny music to the mental movie. Do this 3-4 times.
5. Now try to see in your mind the same event like it was happening to you now. The emotions towards the stimulus should have disappeared or changed. If you still feel some kind of negative emotion, keep repeating this exercise until the negative emotion has completely disappeared.
2. Content Reframe
This NLP technique works great when you are in a situation which makes you feel powerless, angry or when something negative happens to you. It changes the meaning of the situation making you think about it in a different, more empowering way. In other words, it allows you to put the content of the situation in a different frame.
Let’s say that you have just got fired from your job. That seems very bad when you think about it, but be willing to see other aspects of the situation. Because you lost your job, you now became open for better positions and you can explore different kinds of areas of work that can let you develop your other skills. This experience will also toughen you up and you will become a more courageous person. And when you look back at this incident after 10 years, you will simply laugh about it.
In this example I simply re-framed the content of what has happened. I’ve changed a view about the situation and took the focus off the bad aspects. This lets one see the situation in a completely new light and this makes it easier to make better decisions because the focus is on good aspects of the situation.
What people usually tend to do in such unexpected situations is panic and think fear-based thoughts. That can lead only to more problems and failures. You should take your focus out of the negative aspects of the situation and look for the benefits of the situation. There are always good and bad points of any situation and it’s much more useful to focus on the good ones.
3. Self-anchoring
Self-anchoring is mainly used in NLP to elicit some kind of emotional response to something that you do or say. For example, it is possible for the person to start unconsciously smiling when you touch his/her shoulder.
That’s very useful because you can instantly change how you feel. This helps in many situations, especially when you feel insecure or upset. You can simply anchor a positive emotional response and fire the anchor whenever you get upset.
Here’s a basic way to do it:
1. Identify the state you want to experience, be it happiness, courage or something else.
2. Do whatever it takes for you to get into such a state – body language can help here a lot, like sitting straight or intentionally smiling, or maybe remembering something good.
3. When you’re completely in the state, imagine a smoke circle on the ground and step into it. Feel absolutely great in the circle, bath in this beautiful energy.
4. Now step out of it and think something unrelated to the emotion you felt.
5. Then, after a few minutes, step into the circle again and observe your response. If the process has been successful, you should have the same emotional response as previously stepping in and being in the circle.
4. Rapport
Rapport is a very important and quite easy skill to master that enables you to get along with any kind of person.
There are many ways to create rapport with people. You can follow the breathing patterns of a person, you can mirror his/her body language (not too obviously, of course) or you can use similar words that the other person uses.
You can also assess the person’s main sensory perception, be it, kinesthetic or auditory and then use the same perception yourself. You can do that by simply talking to the person and paying attention to what kind of words the person uses.
You know that the person’s main sensory perception is auditory when she uses phrases/words such as:
“I hear you”
“Her voice was loud”
“He scratched the surface”
“I’m listening to you”
sound
noise
You know that the person’s main sensory perception is visual when she uses phrases/words such as:
“I see what you mean”
“My vision is clear”
“Your future is bright”
glittering
dark
You know that the person’s main sensory perception is kinesthetic when he uses phrases/words such as:
“I feel that it’s the right thing to do”
“I have a bad feeling about this”
“She had a pleasant vibe”
warm
touch
5. Belief Change
There are three types of limiting beliefs:
Beliefs about cause
Beliefs about meaning
Beliefs about identity
They all influence how you view the world and filter out the bits of reality that doesn’t fit into your belief system. Your beliefs allow you to become aware of the aspects of reality that are in harmony with them. Beliefs are very powerful because they determine what experiences you will have in life.
Beliefs form because of the facts that you encounter relating to some experience. If you’ve had some negative experience and you dwelled on it, you would then start attracting more similar experiences that would reaffirm your rightness about the situation.
If you could straight away do a content reframe, you will not have formed the belief in the first place. But what most people do is keep dwelling on the bad stuff that happened to them and then they’re surprised when they keep encountering similar situations.
Any situation is neither good nor bad, only our thinking makes it so. So when you focus on the negative aspects of what has happened to you, you start forming a negative (which is always limiting) belief which will cause you to attract the experiences that would only affirm your limiting beliefs. So you are as though attracting facts that further deepen negative beliefs.
If the experience was negative and you focused on it, you’ve set a filter for further similar facts to reach you. For example, if you’ve been in a bad relationship you may start thinking that all men/women are the same.
To change limiting beliefs it’s necessary to gather more positive facts about the situation than negative ones. Then you will need to deal with negative facts and question if they really are facts.
Another way to eliminate negative beliefs is to spend five minutes a day affirming a completely different belief to your current one. This should be done when it’s quiet and you should completely focus on the affirmation. You should have no other thoughts or mental pictures in your head when you affirm your new belief. You should completely focus on your words and understand their meaning, rather than thinking about something else whilst affirming beliefs.
This is an extremely effective exercise because it allows you to lightly hypnotize yourself by entirely focusing on one sentence. Because of the induced hypnosis all the new beliefs go directly to your unconscious mind which is responsible for making your beliefs and thoughts a reality.
If you do this effectively, after 30 days or even earlier, your life will start reflecting the new belief.
Conclusion
If done properly, these five NLP techniques can change many aspects of your life. If some technique doesn’t seem to produce the desired effect, keep repeating the exercise until the wanted effect is reached.
These NLP techniques are very effective and work on everyone. It’s definitely worth taking a few minutes to try at least a couple of them. When you see the results, you will be more than happy to spend some time to apply them to all the areas of your life that need improvement.
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