The 7 Worst Mistakes People Make In Their 30s

           

Your 30s are typically a time for settling down after using your 20s to take risks and find yourself.

Many 30-somethings are busy raising a family and rising through the hierarchy at work.

Those who have already been through that decade say that as their responsibilities accumulated, it became easier to neglect relationships and ignore opportunities that they would never get again.

Quora users discussed lessons they learned in the thread: "What is the biggest mistake you made in your 30s and what did you learn from it?"

We've collected some of the best responses:

They abandon their loftier aspirations.

Twenty-somethings are often willing to settle for a job they are not passionate about, but before they know it, that job turns into their career. An anonymous poster writes that his or her biggest mistake of his or her 30s was to become "addicted to a monthly salary," in the sense that he or she settled for job security over career satisfaction.

If you've ever wanted to start a business or pursue a side project, it will only get more difficult as your responsibilities increase.

They put their career ahead of family and friends.

"Don't just work. Make memories. The older you get, the harder it is to make meaningful relationships. Foster those while you're young," writes Microsoft product designer Michael Dorian Bach, who is now in his late 30s.

They neglect their health.

Bach writes that the pursuit of a career can also be a drain on one's health. "Be healthy. That is priority 1. Don't get into your 30s being slow and tired all the time. It sucks," he says. Develop an exercise routine, and enjoy your mobility while you're still young.

They miss the chance to have kids.

CEO coach Alison Whitmire shares a personal story about how she took getting pregnant for granted in her 30s and chose to pursue a new career opportunity instead of trying to have a child. Years later, after a failed pregnancy and then a failed marriage, she remarried and had a baby at 43. She realizes now that no one is ever adequately prepared to have a child, and if you want one, it's best to do so before it's too late.

They don't spend enough time with their aging parents.

Entrepreneur and blogger James Altucher, who is now 46, writes about a particularly difficult memory for him: "When I was 34 I hung up the phone on my dad in an argument and never returned his calls. Six months later he had a stroke and died. A week before that he had emailed me to say hello but I didn't return the email. I'm sorry, Dad."

It can be easy to forget that your parents grow older as you do. Don't take them for granted.

They don't set up a financial foundation for the future.

Altucher writes about the many times in his 30s he bet practically all of his money on a business venture and then lost all of it. Altucher is doing well now, but he looks back on his failures as the result of recklessness. 

As your responsibilities grow, it can seem like what you put into savings won't amount to much come retirement, but it will only become harder to start saving in your 40s.

They stop having fun.

Just because you're not in your 20s anymore doesn't mean you need to give up enjoying life. Bach says he spent the early half of his adult life chasing money, and it only made him unhappy and more cynical about life.

Go on dates with your significant other. Take your kids on trips. Go to concerts with your best friends. Just don't forget that the money you work to make is useless if you're miserable.

http://www.businessinsider.com/worst-mistakes-people-make-in-their-30s-2014-8

What Hiring Managers Really Want To Know When They Ask, ‘What Are Your Hobbies?’

            

When you're in the hot seat interviewing for a job, you're answering questions such as "What's your greatest weakness?" and "Why should we hire you?" — so a query like "What are your hobbies?" will probably seem like a piece of cake.

But before you start babbling about your lifelong obsession with horses or your new found passion for baking, consider this: The hiring manager wants to get a better sense of who you are, so it's important to think about which hobbies best showcase your strengths, passions, and skills — and then only discuss those in the interview.

"The employer is trying to determine whether you'd be a good fit, and getting insight into your interests, hobbies, and personality all help in evaluating that," says Amy Hoover, president of the job board TalentZoo. 

Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of "Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job," agrees. "By learning more about your outside interests, they can glean more about your personality, and even draw some conclusions about how you may thrive in the organization."

For example, if you like to paint in your spare time, and you're interviewing for an account executive position with an advertising agency, your creative flair might be viewed as an asset when working with your creative counterparts, Taylor explains.

Or, if you're involved in orchestrating community events, where organizational skills are critical, that would translate well into a promotional or event-planning type of position.

"That said, they are also looking for well-rounded individuals, so you don't want to limit your pursuits to only those that relate directly to your career," Taylor says. 

While there are no wrong answers per se, there are some smart choices you can make when answering this question in an interview, Hoover explains.

Here's what interviewers are really looking for when they ask about your hobbies:

1. That you're team-oriented. 

"Since most jobs involve a certain level of group interaction and support — and cross functional work teams continue to thrive — any kind of activity that you do in your spare time that demonstrates your ability to be a team player, such as playing a team sport or working with a group on a volunteer project, would be well perceived by your prospective boss," Taylor says.

2. That you possess strong leadership skills.

"If you lead a group in a leisure activity, such as anything from a book or hiking club to a charitable effort or community activity, that speaks well to your ability to lead on the job," Taylor explains. Not all jobs require leadership or management talent, but those kinds of activities project the desire to make a difference. 

3. That you actively work on honing your skills.

If you stay with a particular leisure pursuit, and try to better yourself — which could relate to anything from artistic or musical talents, to bettering your communications, writing, or research skills — you will likely be viewed as having perseverance. "And that would certainly be viewed as a plus in the position at hand," says Taylor.

4. That you're well-rounded. 

Hiring managers like to know that you have an array of interests and are not just focused on the type of work you do 24/7. "It's assumed that if you engage in a diverse assortment of hobbies, you may be better equipped to manage a broader array of experiences and people on the job," Taylor says. However, be careful not to list out too many hobbies. This can imply that you're indecisive, you don't commit adequate time to each hobby, and you're stretched too thin. 

5. That you're able to set and stick to goals. 

Hiring managers like to see applicants who set goals in their leisure pursuits. "For example, they want to see that you enjoy completing a project and have the desire to reach certain milestones in your leisure activities," says Taylor. "Goal-setting is essential in any job, as managers like to see that you have a sense of purpose and determination to reach goals that you've mutually established." 

So, if you're training for a 5K run or taking a class in an area that you wish to excel, this is the time to talk about it.

6. That you're passionate.

If you're excited about your leisure pursuits, it can show a side of you that interviewers typically appreciate and value. "You're demonstrating that you are capable of enjoying what you do and being passionate about it, whether inside or outside of the office," Taylor says.

7. That you're not too passionate.

"If you talk about how passionate you are about a particular hobby to the point where it sounds as if you want to make that your primary career, that may send up a red flag," Taylor explains. For example, if you're interviewing for a sales position at a software company, it's fine to mention your interest in fashion. "But if you wax on about how invigorating it is to keep up on fashion trends and pursue fashion-related activities on the weekends, you could do yourself a disservice at the job interview," she says. "It might be perceived that you would be happier in that industry."

8. That you won't be distracted at work.

You may have a few entrepreneurial interests on the side. "Even if you claim that such endeavors have nothing to do with the job at hand, you are still raising a red flag," Taylor says. "No interviewer wants to feel as if you're just trying to gain a salary or work experience until you're ready to launch your own business."

9. That you do, in fact, have interests outside of work.

Here's a terrible response to this question: "I have no real specific outside interests. I'm just too busy."

This tells the employer that you're a workaholic (which isn't a good thing!) and that you don't take time outside of work to refuel and recharge by doing the things you enjoy.

"Overall, the best policy is to bring up leisure pursuits that speak to your team orientation, good people skills, tenacity, and thirst for knowledge in the areas in which you are passionate," Taylor says.

Also, try not to emphasize hobbies that can be construed as vices, such as wine tastings, craft beer making, or cigar clubs, says Hoover. "And finally, please do not say 'Facebook' or 'social media.' Those aren't hobbies; they're distractions — especially at work."

http://uk.businessinsider.com/why-job-interviewers-ask-about-hobbies-2014-8

5 Things to Try Before Giving Up on a Relationship

If your partner's the problem, that's one thing. If it's you? You can change

It’s a pretty common consensus that love takes work. Yet, 80 percent of Americans under 30 believe in a soulmate, the idea that there is one perfect person out there just waiting to be found. Even the expression “falling in love” makes it sound like love is out of our hands—that it just happens to us. Achieving long-lasting love isn’t usually easy, even when we meet the right person. However, it’s also not an endlessly laborious undertaking that takes more in struggle than it offers in pleasure. So how do we know when to give up on a relationship, and when to fight for it?

First, we should accept the reality that while relationships have the potential to be fairly sweet and simple, they are often terribly complicated. When any two people with separate minds, pasts, and sets of baggage come together, the future will not likely be one smooth sail into the sunset. Falling in love can be the most joyful experience one’s life, yet we tend to underestimate the level of fear, anxiety, sadness and even anger it can stir up. 

In a backward twist, these fears tend to grow even stronger the closer we get to someone else. Without knowing it, we all have defenses in us, based on hurtful past experiences, that can now operate to push love away. So, when it comes to deciding whether to call it quits on a relationship we once valued, the first things we have to ask ourselves are: How much are my own defenses at work? and, What am I bringing to the table that could be sabotaging closeness?

When approaching the actions you should take before choosing to break up, it’s important to adopt the attitude that the only person you can truly change is yourself. You control 100 percent of your half of the dynamic. You’re not a victim in a relationship; ultimately, you can choose to move on. Playing the blame game will leave you feeling powerless and going in circles. Even if you eventually decide that the relationship is not worth keeping, as long as you’re in it, you can make a practice of being the best person you can be. You can grow your ability to love, to be open, and to be vulnerable – skills that will greatly benefit you in life and future relationships. With that in mind, here are five things to try before saying goodbye to a relationship:

1. Reflect on what drew you together.

We don’t always choose partners for the right reasons. Sometimes, we pick people who challenge us, who push us to grow and expand our worlds. Other times, we choose people whose defenses and negative traits fit with ours. If we tend to be passive or indecisive, we may choose someone who’s pushy and domineering. But the very qualities that first draw us in can become the reasons we wind up bailing out.

That sparkly attraction we feel at the beginning isn’t always a good sign. It could be a draw that’s based on our history—a negative dynamic from our past that we subconsciously seek to perpetuate. If we felt invisible in our families, for instance, we may seek a familiar scenario with a partner who doesn’t show a lot of initial interest, who doesn’t make us a priority or show his or her affections. If we had a parent who wanted to “perfect" us, we may find partners who “help" us, but later come to resent them for always seeing us as a problem that needs to be fixed or perfected.

While our partner selection can sometimes be off, it isn’t always to blame for a relationship’s downfall. If the attraction and excitement we felt at the beginning starts to fade, it doesn’t necessarily mean we chose the wrong person. That's why it’s so important to consider our early feelings in the relationship. If we were truly in love with someone at one point, it is possible to regain those feelings. We should think about what drew us to our partner, and the months or years of shared history in which we enjoyed activities, affection, and intimacy. We can then look for the real reasons things took a turn for the worse and make a change that brings us back to those initial feelings and has a lasting impact.

2. Try breaking your routine.

One of the main reasons a relationship fails is due to the couple having entered into a “Fantasy Bond.” A Fantasy Bond is a term developed by my father, psychologist Robert Firestone, to describe an illusion of connection many couples form at some point in their relationship. A Fantasy Bond differs from real love in that sincere acts of kindness are replaced by routine, and form is favored over substance in the relationship. Couples enter into this scenario without even realizing it, as a means to feel a false sense of security, an illusion of fusion or “oneness.”  

A Fantasy Bond has a “deadening” effect on a relationship, as two partners start to control each other and limit each other’s worlds. They become a “we,” while losing a sense of each of their identities as two separate individuals. Real contact and the give and take of loving exchanges are diminished. Partners take each other for granted and lose their attraction to each other. They stop supporting the unique interests and personality traits that light the other person up and make him or her who he or she is. This, in turn, creates a stale environment in the relationship, where both parties feel resentment and a lack of excitement toward each other.

There are many characteristics of a Fantasy Bond that are valuable to explore, however it is important to remember that this type of bond is not a black or white state of being. A Fantasy Bond exists along a continuum. Most couples find themselves somewhere on the spectrum, having entered into a bond to varying degrees. We can start to break free from fantasy by changing our way of relating in our relationship. A friend of mine recently adopted this strategy by deciding to take more initiative in his relationship, rather than passively going along with whatever his partner decided. He did this for himself without expecting anything from his partner. To his surprise, however, this shift in himself yielded a very positive response from his girlfriend, who appreciated him expressing himself and having a definite point of view. She became sweeter and softer in her approach to him and stopped acting as controlling in the relationship.

3. Determine if your past is impacting your present.

Often partners form a caricature of each other. They start to focus their attention on any flaws their partner has, even magnifying them and trivializing their strengths. In essence, they start to distort their partner, sometimes becoming critical of traits they once admired or found amusing. We don’t typically realize it, but our motivation for doing this again sources from our past. On an unconscious level, we often seek to recreate negative dynamics from our history. We may even provoke our partners to treat us as we were treated in our early life. We may also use old, unhealthy coping strategies in our relationships that were adaptive to our life as a child, but which no longer serve us.  For example, if a parent intruded on us, we may have become introverted or kept to ourselves but these characteristics may make it hard for us to open up in our adult relationships.

Too often, we run the risk of projecting onto our partner and seeing them through a faulty filter that reflects the reality of our past. To help get a hold of this, we can think about times when our partner provoked us, then ask ourselves what we did just before that. Were we nagging, complaining, icing them or acting coldly? If we recognize the behaviors we are engaging in to recreate old dynamics, we can start to change our ways of interacting in order to get back to a much cleaner, more authentic way of relating to our partner. We can start to actually engage in loving actions and enjoy each other once again.

4. Recognize your fears of intimacy.

         

People often react to being loved. This has to do with the fears I talked about earlier that surround getting close to someone. When we get scared, we tend to pull away from our partner. We pick fights, become more critical, even react angrily to compliments or acts of love. More than anything, we start to withhold the traits that our partner once loved about us. We may stop being as affectionate or adventurous. We may resist engaging in activities we mutually enjoyed with our partner.

Acting against being withholding means being willing to be vulnerable. It means engaging in shared activities and putting a stop to patterns that push our partner away. Have we stopped caring about our appearance? Have we started working nonstop, failing to make our partner a priority in our lives? Think about the actions you’ve stopped taking as well as the ones you could start taking to reignite the loving feelings in your partner. When your partner does express love toward you, be accepting. Return the loving look. Don’t deflect his or her compliments. Even though it may feel hard or uncomfortable, try to accept the love directed toward you without saying or doing something that might interrupt your partner’s feelings.

5. Unilaterally disarm.

All relationships have heated moments of tension. As these moments arise more and more, and as we start to see our partner more critically, we may begin to build a case against them. This is fairly easy to do, as no person is perfect, and we can always file their mistakes into certain flaw categories. When we build a case against our partner, we tend to be set off faster, jumping on them the moment they slip up or overreacting to them. In times of stress, fights tend to escalate. We say worse and worse things to each other, things we don’t even mean. This leaves us feeling pretty lousy about ourselves and our relationship.

Instead of focusing on our partner, a highly effective technique to adopt is unilateral disarmament. That means dropping the case, taking a breath and not reacting in a heated way, no matter what our partner does or says. Try to have an open and compassionate attitude toward them and to respond with understanding. Don’t focus on correcting them or telling them what they can do to change. Instead, we should focus on taking full responsibility for our part of the dynamic. We should choose being close over being right. This attitude will often melt your partner’s heart and, regardless, will leave you feeling much better in yourself.

Whatever future your relationship holds, you will be empowered by the fact that you have the ability to change yourself. When you change and are willing to be vulnerable, your partner often softens and responds. As you do this, you should have what Dr. Dan Siegel(link is external) describes as a COAL attitude toward yourself, in which you are Curious, Open, Accepting, and Loving. When you love yourself, you are better equipped to act with integrity in your relationships. You become a person you respect, and you give your relationship its best chance at survival.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201402/5-things-try-giving-relationship

Four Things You Need To Be Doing To Keep Your Brain Healthy

The human brain is the most extraordinary and complex object in the known universe, a kilogram and a half of soft tissue that, at its peak, leaves computers behind with its endless capacity for problem solving, innovation and invention.

So it's a little surprising that only recently has the concept of brain health begun to emerge.

After all, if the body is a "temple", then surely the brain must be the "high altar" as it generates all our thoughts, feelings and movements.

Indeed, it is fundamental to all of our conscious experience.

Brain diseases such as Huntington's, Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia demonstrate how devastating it is when the brain degenerates, dragging the mind and its many wonderful capacities down with it. Clearly, it's time we all focused more on this most important organ, to improve both the quality and quantity of brain health across the lifespan.

The good news is that many of the lifestyle choices that are good for the body are also good for the brain. But we need to be mindful that other factors may be particularly beneficial for brain. Here's a distillation of some of the current evidence supporting beneficial lifestyle factors into four pillars of brain health.

First: stay physically active

This is a somewhat obvious lifestyle recommendation, as everyone now knows that physical activity is good for the body. But not everyone yet realises the extent to which physical activity boosts brain health.

There are many ways this may happen as the brain and body are in constant dynamic bidirectional communication. Physical activity can cause muscles to release beneficial molecules that reach the brain, as well as increasing blood circulation to the brain and inducing the formation of new brain cells (neurons) and connections (synapses) between them.

People who maintain higher levels of physical activity may help protect themselves from brain diseases such as Alzheimer's and other forms of brain degeneration. There is also evidence that physical activity may help protect against depression and other brain disorders.

Second: stay mentally active

Two of the cardinal rules of brain plasticity (changes in the brain) appear to be "use it or lose it" and "neurons that fire together wire together". There's also some evidence that people who maintain higher levels of cognitive (mental) activity may be protected from Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia.

Along with physical activity, cognitive stimulation may help build in a "brain reserve" to protect from, and functionally compensate for, the wear and tear of brain ageing. We don't know exactly what lifestyle choices are the most important. But spending a lot of time watching television, for example, may involve the double whammy of reduced physical and mental activity, and could be one risk factor.

So what mentally stimulating activities should you do more of? This is a very personal choice, as it will need to be something you can continue to do not just for days and weeks, but for months and years, in order to have long-term benefits.

Third: eat a healthy diet

Yes, you no doubt know this is good for your body, but did you realise a balanced nutritious diet  is also good for your brain?

Most of the nutrients from food circulate through your brain via the bloodstream. So a healthy diet can directly improve the health of brain cells and may even slow down brain ageing.

What's more, by improving body health, the brain may benefit via the heart and cardiovascular system, the immune system and other physiological systems that impact on the nervous system.

Fourth: don't stress too much!

The human body, including of course the brain, has evolved over many thousands of years. When we were cave-dwellers and hunter-gatherers, the stress response ("fight or flight") served a very useful purpose in evading predators, obtaining food and other aspects of survival.

But busy 21st-century lifestyles mean many of us suffer from excessive chronic stress. This may eventually be toxic for the body. It's especially bad for the brain because parts of it are absolutely loaded with sensitive "stress receptors".

What's more, some people are more genetically vulnerable to stress, while others are naturally more resilient. These innate factors also impact our stress responses.

Many lifestyle choices can help us better deal with excessive chronic stress. Stress-reducing strategies such as "mindfulness" and meditation are becoming increasingly popular, often being taught in schools and prescribed by health professionals.

Physical exercise can also help people deal with stress; everyone may have their own approach to "de-stressing" and "chilling out". Another positive side effect of avoiding excessive chronic stress is healthy sleep patterns. Adequate and regular sleep patterns are known to be beneficial for both brain and body.

To conclude, I think it was Woody Allen who famously said: "The brain is my second favourite organ!" Considering how fundamental it is to everything we think, feel and do, perhaps we should all be more mindful to look after this most fantastic and plastic of organs, the human brain.

http://uk.businessinsider.com/how-to-keep-your-brain-healthy-2015-1

Sex: From Desire to Doing

Who makes the first move—and why?

The evening is over. You've walked your date home. You gaze into each other's eyes, smile, and wonder whether now's the time to lean in for a kiss. Pay attention! Who makes the first move speaks loudly about social expectations and ongoing relationship satisfaction for both partners.

Men usually take the reins in initiating sexual contact. But that doesn't mean they—or their partners—prefer the status quo. A study by Shari Dworkin, a medical sociologist at the University of California, San Francisco, found that 72 percent of college-age men want to share the "labor" of getting things started. (They also long to be seen more as the object of their partner's desire than as the primary pursuer.)

Studies in earlier decades found that both women in same-sex partnerships were equally convinced that they were refusing sex more frequently, while both partners in gay male relationships considered themselves the primary initiator—dynamics that may partially explain the higher rates of sexual activity in relationships between two men versus two women. Today, women report less inhibition and more confidence in their ability to successfully kickstart beneath-the-sheets behavior, reports sexuality researcher Deanne Simms of the University of New Brunswick, Canada. But they still don't initiate as often as men. Fears of being labeled a "slut" may partially explain their hesitation.

Women don't particularly value traditional sexual roles, Simms notes. But "they may have less opportunity to initiate because their partners do it first." In other words, men swoop in sooner under pressure from friends, family, and a culture that portrays them as should-be initiators. (Their higher rates of testosterone also play a role.)

As relationships progress, gender divisions in behavior may diminish, found a study by University of New Brunswick psychologist Sarah Vannier. "Contrary to what traditional sexual scripts predict," says Vannier, "both men and women in a couple were equally interested if their partner initiated."

Plus, as research repeatedly shows, the more frequently either partner initiates, the more pleased they both tend to be with each other.

So whether you're dating someone new or knee-deep in long-term love, it might not hurt to switch up the dynamic. Research suggests your partner will thank you.

Your Move?

• 72 percent of college-age men admit they wish their female partners would initiate sex more frequently.
• Females aged 18 to 24 make the first move in 25 percent of relationships.
• 73 percent of men would accept the offer of sex from an attractive female stranger if she made the first move.
• 40 percent of women would accept the offer of sex from an attractive male stranger if he made the first move.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201307/sex-desire-doing

Should You Invest Or Pay Off Debt?

       

So, you have debt. You also hope to retire someday and you want to start investing your money. Both require a commitment. Both require money. Which do you do first, pay off debt or invest?

Good Debt vs. Bad Debt

The first barrier to success in investing is bad debt. Yes, there’s good debt and bad debt. Good debt is money you borrow at a low rate of interest, with which you make a high rate of return.

An obvious example is the money you borrow to buy an apartment complex. The debt is covered by the rental income – or it will be in a few years.

Bad debt, by contrast, is consumer debt – money you borrow at a high interest rate to buy things that don’t produce income or grow in value. Things like cars, refrigerators, clothing and trips to Europe.

All of us have done it, and all of us have paid the price.

The Price of Bad Debt

The price of bad debt is the impact of compounding rates of return working against you instead of for you. If you have credit cards or bank loans costing you 18 percent or more a year, that’s 18 percent compounding against your retirement.

Since Rule #1 is all about not losing money, the first thing most of us must do to become successful Rule #1 investors is to pay off bad debt.

Don’t Lose Money By Paying Higher Interest Rates

Think about it: If your target rate of return is 15 percent and we have credit card debt we’re paying 18 percent on, essentially that means were borrowing money at 18 percent and making only 15 percent on it.

Even though we’re doing well as an investor, we’re going backward at a rate of 3 percent compounded per year. That’s a heck of a barrier to successful investing.

The only way you’ll get rich is to hit the lottery.

Otherwise, you’re going broke with great certainty. But notice that if we turn that around and take the money we were going to invest and instead pay off the 18-percent-interest-rate debt, then instead of losing 3 percent a year, now, even if we don’t have money left to invest, at least we’re breaking even and we’re not violating Rule #1.

Conclusion

Moral of the story, it’s better to pay off bad debt before you invest. While you pay off bad debt, practice investing using paper trading and when you’re finished paying off debt, then you can start to invest.

As long was you don’t violate Rule #1 and you keep on practicing, learning, and saving, you’re going to be rich one day.

http://www.ruleoneinvesting.com/blog/should-you-invest-or-pay-off-debt/?cmpid=12&proid=903

Quiet Desperation - Motivational Video

How to Make a Really Tough Business Decision

Follow these few questions to help you make a tough business decision. Each one is a hurdle. Jump over each one and you have a clearer path to success.

Souffles or pancakes? The green Mercedes or the white one? Vacation in Tahoe or swing out to Las Vegas and play golf instead? OK, some decisions in life are not that hard. You get to pick from two good options. What if you are faced with firing your accountant who also happens to be your best friend from college? Or how do you decide if you should make a big splash at a local startup accelerator or play things closer to the chest?

As many of us learned from the Freakonomics guys in their last book, the pro/con list doesn't always work. We tend to favour one side or the other and stack the deck. (With apologies to my dad who told me to use this method, it's also a little too simplistic.)

Instead, I'd ask yourself a series of tough questions and spend some time thinking about the actual outcome. Does your friend need to be fired? Does going public mean you can find investment dollars faster? With any tough business decision, start by sitting down, shutting out distractions, and really diving into the issue full bore.

Here are a few questions to get you started...

1. Is it practical?

In my experience, most business decisions you make have to pass the most crucial litmus test of all: you have to decide if the decision is practical or not. Keep in mind that you should pursue some ideas that are not practical, and it's even a good idea to think outside of the box, but it's always (always!) a good idea to think about whether something makes practical sense or could be considered frivolous. And, you have to start by defining what "practical" even means: it's the actual "use or doing" of something as opposed to a theory. It has to make sense. It has to be workable.

2. Is it achievable?

Maybe you've decided this new business decision does fit within the scope of your business. Good! Now you have to decide if it is achievable. Remember, you probably don't have the resources of Elon Musk (unless you actually are Elon Musk). You have to decide, given the resources if the decision is even within the realm of possibility.

3. Is it measurable?

In college, I learned the MAP concept. Is the idea Measurable, Attainable, and Practical? We covered the last two already (practical and attainable), but that first one can be a bugger. Let's say you want to expand overseas. OK, that seems nice. Company paid trips to France! Air five on that one, right? But hold on for a second. If you do expand, can you measure the success? Is there a way to crunch the numbers and really determine if things panned out? Expansion is fairly easy to measure, but how about firing that accountant? If you keep him or her on the payroll, will it be easier to measure the results? If you stay in stealth mode, can you control your product easier? Do a sanity check on any decision to make sure you can measure it.

4. Will it require a major time investment?

I usually like to evaluate a decision based on the time involved. It's a precious commodity. Honestly, business dollars come and go. You might be rich one day and poor the next. But time? Once you use it up, it's gone forever. Make sure you know how much you have to spend. If the decision will consume too much time, skip it.

5. Will the decision help others? Will it harm others?

A decision might be good for the company, not take too much of your time, and meet the other criteria I've listed here, but it's also important to decide if this is something that will benefit society. Is it good for you and good for others? I've read about many entrepreneurs who ultimately decided to make a big decision not for the financial rewards but mostly because it was going to help society. When I profiles Cruise Automation recently, I came to the conclusion that the company really is motivated to do something profound for society. It wasn't all about money. In the end, money doesn't really give you lasting satisfaction anyway, it just helps you buy a nicer car.

6. Will you be able to maintain your integrity?

That's right, some decisions might seem practical and even necessary but they might be morally suspect. You know what? The decision will come back to bite you anyway. When you maintain your integrity and decide against something that most people would say is objectionable, even if it seems like you might get away with it and benefit somehow, you'll be happier. You can live with yourself. And, by the way, so can everyone around you. No one likes to be around someone who lacks integrity.

6. What is the stress factor?

There's one last criterion to keep in mind. Maybe you have made it this far through the questions and decided to pursue that new widget or launch a new marketing campaign. Before you pull the lever, ask one final question about how much stress the decision will cause. As a writer, I deal with this last question quite often because I know stress takes time and zaps my mental energy. When I go ahead with a decision that will cause stress, I always try to find a way to drop out of other responsibilities and prepare for the eventual mental fallout. You can check off every question on this list and feel like you have a green light, and then realize you can't handle the stress. That's a good time to head to a local coffee shop, stretch out, and postpone the decision for a while. Go buy the white Mercedes instead.

http://www.inc.com/john-brandon/how-to-make-a-really-tough-business-decision.html

Here's The No. 1 Predictor Of Career Success, According To Network Science

            

It has been over three years since Steve Jobs died.

Since then, books have been written and movies have been made.

Each has celebrated his legacy and aimed to share the secrets he used to build the largest company in the world; things like attention to detail, attracting world-class talent and holding them to high standards.

We think we understand what caused his success.

We don't.

We dismiss usable principles of success by labeling them as personality quirks.

What's often missed is the paradoxical interplay of two of his seemingly opposite qualities; maniacal focus and insatiable curiosity. These weren't just two random strengths. They may have been his most important as they helped lead to everything else.

Jobs' curiosity fueled his passion and provided him with access to unique insights, skills, values, and world-class people who complemented his own skillset. Jobs' focus brought those to bear in the world of personal electronics.

I don't just say this as someone who has devoured practically every article, interview, and book featuring him.

I say this as someone who has interviewed many of the world's top network scientists on a quest to understand how networks create competitive advantage in business and careers.

The Simple Variable That Explains What Really Causes Career Success

In December of 2013, I interviewed one of the world's top network scientists, Ron Burt. During it, he shared a chart that completely flipped my understanding of success. Here is a simplified version:

The bottom line? According to multiple, peer-reviewed studies, simply being in an open network instead of a closed one is the best predictors of career success.

In the chart, the further to the right you go toward a closed network, the more you repeatedly hear the same ideas, which reaffirm what you already believe. The further left you go toward an open network, the more you're exposed to new ideas. People to the left are significantly more successful than those to the right.

In fact, the study shows that half of the predicted difference in career success (i.e., promotion, compensation, industry recognition) is due to this one variable. 

Do you ever have moments where you hear something so compelling that you need to know more, yet so crazy that you'd have to let go of some of your core beliefs in order to accept the idea?

This was one of those moments for me. Never in all of the books I had read on self-help, career success, business, or Steve Jobs had I come across this idea.

I wondered, "How is it possible that the structure of one's network could be such a powerful predictor for career success?"

How A Closed Network Impacts Your Career

To understand the power of open networks, it's important to understand their opposite.

Most people spend their careers in closed networks; networks of people who already know each other. People often stay in the same industry, the same religion, and the same political party. In a closed network, it's easier to get things done because you've built up trust, and you know all the shorthand terms and unspoken rules. It's comfortable because the group converges on the same ways of seeing the world that confirm your own.

To understand why people spend most of their time in closed networks, consider what happens when a group of random strangers is thrown together:

David Rock, the founder of the Neuroleadership Institute, the top organization helping leaders through neuroscience research, explains the process well:

We've evolved to put people in our ingroup and outgroup. We put most people in our outgroup and a few people in our ingroup. It determines whether we care about others. It determines whether we support or attack them. The process is a byproduct of our evolutionary history where we lived in small groups and strangers we didn't know well weren't to be trusted.

By understanding this process, we can begin to understand why the world is the way it is. We understand why Democrats and Republicans can't pass bills with obvious benefits to society. We understand why religions have gone to war over history. It helps us understand why we have bubbles, panics, and fads.

The Surprising Power And Pain Of Open Networks

People in open networks have unique challenges and opportunities. Because they're part of multiple groups, they have unique relationships, experiences, and knowledge that other people in their groups don't.

This is challenging in that it can lead to feeling like an outsider as a result of being misunderstood and under-appreciated because few people understand why you think the way you do. It is also challenging, because it requires assimilating different and conflicting perspectives into one worldview.

In one of my all-time favorite movies, "The Matrix," the main character, Neo, is exposed to a completely new world. Once he is, he can't go back. He's an outsider in the new group, and he's an outsider in his old life. He's had an experience that everyone he's ever met would never understand. This same phenomenon happens when we enter new worlds of people.

On the other hand, having an open network is a huge opportunity in a few ways:

• More accurate view of the world. It provides them with the ability to pull information from diverse clusters so errors cancel themselves out. Research by Philip Tetlock shows that people with open networks are better forecasters than people with closed networks.
• Ability to control the timing of information sharing. While they may not be the first to hear information, they can be the first to introduce information to another cluster. As a result, they can leverage the first move advantage.
• Ability to serve as a translator / connector between groups. They can create value by serving as an intermediary and connecting two people or organizations who can help each other who wouldn't normally run into each other.
• More breakthrough ideas. Brian Uzzi, professor of leadership and organizational change at the Kellogg School of Management, performed a landmark study where he delved into the tens of millions of academic studies throughout history. He compared their results by the number of citations (links from other research papers) they received and the other papers they referenced. A fascinating pattern emerged. The top performing studies had references that were 90% conventional and 10% atypical (i.e., pulling from other fields). This rule has held constant over time and across fields. People with open networks are more easily able to create atypical combinations.

The Revisionist Timeline Of Steve Jobs' Success

As a result of pursuing his curiosity in different fields throughout his life, Steve Jobs developed an extremely unique perspective, skillset, and network; one that no one else in the computer industry had. He turned these unique advantages into the largest company in the world by having a razor sharp focus. Within Apple, he cut out people, products, and systems that weren't world-class.

Curiosity-Based Experience		Application
Tinkering with machinery with his father		Understanding craftsmanship and attention to detail
Dropping out of college and sitting in on a calligraphy class		Appreciation of design (Macintosh's varied fonts)
Exploring India and Buddhism		Apple's simple aesthetic
Living on an Apple orchard		The inspiration for the Mac logo
Pursuing his hobby electronics in the Home Brew computer club		Creating the first Mac with Steve Wozniack
Starting NeXT during his wilderness years.		Using NeXT's operating system as a core in the new MAC operating system
Lifelong passion for music (particularly U2, Beatles, John Lennon)		Launch of iTunes

Many are quick to label parts of Steve Jobs' life as the "lost" or "wilderness" years. However, when we view his life in retrospect, we see that his diversions were critical to his success.

What is labeled as the magic of Steve Jobs or the quirks of his character become replicable principles we can all follow.

It is from this vantage point that we can begin to understand the following quote from a Steve Jobs interview for Wired in 1995:

Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn't really do it, they just saw something.

It seemed obvious to them after a while. That's because they were able to connect experiences they've had and synthesize new things. And the reason they were able to do that was that they've had more experiences or they have thought more about their experiences than other people.

Unfortunately, that's too rare a commodity. A lot of people in our industry haven't had very diverse experiences.

So they don't have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one's understanding of the human experience, the better design we will have.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Throughout human history, all societies including our own have created myths that share one common element, the hero's journey.

Here's what the journey looks like according to Joseph Campbell, the originator of the term …

Things are going great. You feel normal and fit in. Then something happens and you change. You start to feel like an outsider in your own culture. You hide parts of yourself to fit in, but that doesn't help. You feel called to leave and fulfill part of yourself, but that has a lot of uncertainty. So, you hesitate at first.

Finally, you take the plunge. You go through difficult times as you're learning to navigate the new world. Finally, you overcome the challenges. Then, you go back to your old culture and have a huge impact because you share the unique insights you've learned.

The hero's journey myth is embedded in everything from our society's classic movies (i.e., "Star Wars") to the heroes we glorify (i.e., Steve Jobs) because it hits on core parts of the human experience.

The field of network science shows us two things. The hero's journey is the blueprint for creating career success. We can all be heroes. It just takes a little faith as you follow your heart and curiosity into unknown worlds.

As Steve Jobs said, "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future."

http://www.businessinsider.com/top-predictor-of-career-success-2015-1?IR=T