If you have been abused as a child in any way and this affects your confidence, first of all recognize that the love has to come from you. This is hard, if you have been trained by parents/guardians/people in authority that you were not lovable. Of course, this is to justify their abusive actions. But the net result is your feeling unlovable. So how can you love yourself if you believe you are unlovable? What a conundrum. However, it is not without solutions.
If you are a survivor of child abuse, whether physical, emotional, or sexual, or if you come from a dysfunctional family, you may still be waiting for a parent to give you the love and acceptance you never got as a child. It is like the child within you is still yearning for acceptance, love, and recognition. Sadly, the kind of love you need (or needed as a child) probably isn't going to come from a parent who abused you or who looked the other way while you were being abused. But it can come from yourself. Which brings us back to the question of how can you love yourself if you have been systematically trained to feel unlovable?
It can be hard to give it to yourself at first - after all, if you didn't receive love as a child, or if some of that love was torn away from you by violence, self-hate may have built up inside you. Or you may have learned to hate that part of you which seemed to keep getting you into trouble. This is a favorite excuse by parents and carers who are looking to justify their actions. But you have the courage and strength to love yourself, even if you cannot see it right now. After all, you have survived this long. You are a survivor with a deep inner strength you are about to discover. And you deserve to find that inner strength.
In order to move forward with EFT tapping, try to connect to that little child inside, that child who yearns for love and acceptance. Imagine looking at that child, and tap the following statements as you look into your inner child 's eyes and tap with him/her.
Setup: "Even though you are yearning to be loved, accepted, and protected, I think you are a super duper kid anyway."
Reminder: "I want to love you more today, I want you to be protected, accepted, and comforted."
Tap this without SUDS (numbers) until you feel calmer.
Repeat this tapping every day for about 10 minutes each day for about 6 weeks, and see how you feel.
You will be pleasantly surprised how something so simple can help you move forward in a profound way. If unfamiliar with EFT, just download a free How-To guide and tap away with ease.
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