How much do you really love your life?
This might be the first time you have been asked this question, but you should really be asking yourself this every day. Our decisions and choices create the world we find ourselves in. It is possible, if you aren't focusing on where it's all headed, that you may end up in some places you never actually intended to go. While there are no quick fixes, there are a few actions you can take to begin your journey of getting back on track to loving your life.
1. Prioritize
In order to love our life we should be spending a lot of our time and energy on aspects that mean the most to us. But often, we make decisions and say "yes" to incidentals that take away our time along with our energy.
For you to move forward, it may be well to commence by thinking about what the top 3 priorities in your life actually are. If you answer family, creativity, and adventure, for instance then it could be hard to enjoy a life where you are doing little more than boring, repetitive tasks, and missing out on important time with your loved ones. Consider whether your life, your job, your home, really do reflect you and those things you hold dear?
Get your diary out and be in charge of your schedule.
Bring what you enjoy into what you do. If you love cooking and you work in an office, bring home-made snacks to work for your colleagues to enjoy. If you are lacking family time, check if you are able to free up a little more non-negotiable time to spend with your kids and partner each week. Start with little beginnings. Spend an extra hour every now and then on what's important to you. Make your time suit your needs.
2. Manage Expectations
So often people make themselves sick with misery because their lives are really not meeting their expectations. Probably your companion isn't the absolute soul mate you always dreamed about. Perhaps your job isn't the career that you envisioned when you were younger. It could be that you are living week to week at an age when you thought you could be financially more comfortable.
There is no need to scale back your expectations of a happy, content life. But in these situations it's wise to sit down and figure out whether unhappiness is the result of a situation that isn't working for you, or if you are contrasting your life with an illusion. Accepting people, jobs and life for what they are right now can be a healing experience for many. Your partner, husband or wife may not be the perfect soul mate you dreamed about - but comparing them to someone else will simply make you both miserable.
3. Count What's There - Not What's Missing
Remind yourself about everything that is great in your life. What does your partner do better than anyone else? What does your job provide you that you've stayed on all this time? What prompted you to choose this job in the first place? Some of the best things in life are not the plans that come to fruition, but the surprises that the process brings with it.
4. Take Time Out
Even if your life is wonderful in every way, everybody needs a break every now and then. You may have a career you love or have a wonderful family, but too large a serving of a fine thing can be bad for you. Fatigue can set in, you begin to feel worn out, resentful, and wonder about changing your circumstances. Maybe nothing is wrong with your situation - you just need to stand back and take a breather.
Research shows that people acquire more benefit before their holiday than during or after the holiday. This has led scientists to suggest that anticipation of a holiday can be as important as the holiday itself. Plan and schedule regular holidays, break up your annual leave to a few shorter holidays scattered throughout the year, and get regular mini-breaks in the form of a night out with friends, weekend camping trips to get a change of scenery, and taking time to just be by yourself and do absolutely nothing at all.
Time spent alone is important for mental and emotional well-being. Take more control over your daily schedule and plan for regular alone time. Take yourself on a date to a cafe, do the gardening, go for a run, or embark on an adventure.
5. Find Your Passion
Experiencing passion is an important portion of living a contented and satisfied life. Inject passion into each day, even weekdays when you have to work and don't feel particularly passionate. If you search hard enough, you will always find some aspect to ignite your passion.
When passion is lacking, it can be re-ignited by your favorite meal, taking a course, or a night out with friends. Passion can flow from anywhere - it may be reading, creativity, saving animals, participating in sports, your friends, or visiting neighbouring countries. Passion can come from something quite modest, such as making a dish. There isn't any right or wrong. Notice that evoke true excitement from deep inside you, and also notice what kind of person inspires you.
What famous or notable person do you most wish you could become? This might be the first step in realizing how to live the life you love. If you really aren't sure what your passions are, start with a fresh slate and learn something you've never tried before.
Take a course in something you're curious about; visit a new city; try some exotic dishes; start meeting new people, or check online and start following blogs on any subjects that interest you. Many of the world's greatest chefs, writers, artists, designers, architects, athletes, innovators and entrepreneurs blog on a regular basis about their thoughts, ideas and advice.
6. Learn to Love Yourself
Finding a life you love is only possible if you can love yourself. This does not mean arrogance or denying that you've got faults. Loving yourself is more or less being your own best friend, a person who can accept you on both good days, and bad days when things don't go to plan.
Acknowledge and accept your flaws and shortcomings, but resolve to treat yourself well. You deserve to be loved and treated well, not only by yourself but also by others. You deserve a good life that makes you happy. Not because you are perfect, but because you are flawed and human, and even though you may struggle at times, nonetheless you still deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion.
This isn't always straightforward. We don't always learn to be good to ourselves while growing up. It is a skill that grows as time passes, and will keep on growing stronger provided we work at it. And the greater amount of love we give to ourselves, the less we will have to run around fixing troubles or finding solutions. Loving your life can become a habit.
Above all, foster an 'attitude of gratitude' for the gift that is your life, and for everything there is in it. It may not be perfect, but it is yours -- and now is the time to live it.
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