8 Ways To Awaken Your Greatness And Affirm Your True Power

Greatness Must Be Nurtured

To awaken your greatness requires unearthing your potential that lies dormant within you.

Just as a miner who goes in search of diamonds and discovers the illustrious mineral, there are many who give up right before they strike it rich.

Giving up does not mean the diamonds don't exist, for it is those who keep searching that eventually realise success.

So it is with greatness. You must continue your quest to unearth it because undoubtedly it dwells within you waiting to emerge.

This article embodies eight key principles that serve as the foundation to awaken your greatness. Review them as often as you like. Let it be a roadmap to discover the treasured force within you.

Don't believe you are less than capable of greatness. This is the biggest lie sold to mankind. Greatness exists within every man because you are born in the likeness of a greater intelligence that knows little of producing averageness.

The greatest men and women amongst us are those born with some level of skill, intelligence, intuition, creative ability etc. They have spent years, if not decades to cultivate that potential.

If you don't believe me, consider the passage from someone who has studied world class performance for decades. Anders Ericsson coined the phrase '10,000 hour rule' well before Malcolm Gladwell popularised it in his book Outliers.

He explains in Peak: How All of Us Can Achieve Extraordinary Things: "For more than thirty years I have studied these people, the special ones who stand out as experts in their fields - athletes, musicians, chess players, doctors, salespeople, teachers, and more. I have delved into the nuts and bolts of what they do and how they do it. I have observed, interviewed, and tested them. I have explored the psychology, the physiology, and the neuroanatomy of these extraordinary people. And over time I've come to understand that, yes, these people do have an extraordinary gift, which lies at the heart of their capabilities. But it is not the gift that people usually assume it to be, and it is even more powerful than we imagine. Most importantly, it is a gift that every one of us is born with and can, with the right approach, take advantage of."

I hope this idea saturates into your mind over the follow paragraphs. Greatness must be nurtured, cultivated and exploited until it produces results. Yet, many people give up when the going gets tough. Challenges are nature's way of pushing you to grow so you may develop the resources required to succeed.

1. Stretch Your Mind Through New Experiences

The mind must be stretched by new experiences otherwise it grows stale and listless. Most people live dreary lives doing the same repetitive tasks, day in day out wondering why the magic and spontaneity has vanished. They become habituated to this way of life without the freedom to explore their inner genius.

Authors Jeff Brown and Mark Fenske explain in The Winner's Brain: 8 Strategies Great Minds Use to Achieve Success: "Some brains are more proactive than others. One of the best ways to take your use of memory to a higher level is by exposing it to as many new experiences as possible."

We become familiar to the routines of everyday life and miss out on what is going on around us. To compound this, every person is tethered to their mobile device wearing it like a safety blanket.

Inspiration is closer to home than you think. It was the late Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People who wrote: "We become what we repeatedly do." To stretch your mind, be open to new experiences beyond your daily habits and take notice of life with determined enthusiasm.

Instead of making excuses for the way life is, mould it into something you can become proud of. Perhaps your greatness has been dormant all these years, or needs to be roused. I assure you the moment you walk fearlessly towards greatness, it will run towards you with raging enthusiasm and show you the way. It will show you infinite possibilities to explore your potential in ways you never thought possible.

2. Overcome Your Fears By Making Peace With Them

Become curious in the face of your fears. Investigate them, reason with them but don't buy into the narrative they espouse. Don't let it be a one-sided conversation because you have the power to your fears. "Fear was given to us as a motive to avoid physical harm and death. That is it. We are the ones who have perverted it into a tool for the ego's protection," explains Brendon Burchard.

The secret to overcoming your fears is to approach them with curiosity while observing your reaction. So, if you fear asking your boss for a pay rise because they might say no, what small step can you take to overcome this fear?

"Fear, largely, is a waste of a good life, one of the most capable thieves of presence," writes Jan Frazier in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is. Fear is an emotion, just like other emotions. Granted, it has a stronger intensity, but it is not intended to stop you, only to provide feedback on your actions.

Leverage your fears and you will discover the essence of your character. Assuredly, if you listen intently, there is a subtle message guiding you to surmount your fears. By listening closely, you come to understand the language of your fears. The more you know something, the better you are at taking inspired action to overcome it. Through a sense of wonder you'll conquer your fears because for most people fear is a STOP sign. However, to the initiated fear is a PROMOTE sign, offering important clues about your inner psyche.

3. Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

It's no secret that optimal performance is gained outside your comfort zone. You seldom achieve success when you're comfortable, because everything is familiar. There is little need to draw on your mental faculties when you're in your safe zone. You must commit to taking bold risks if you seek to become the finest version of yourself.

To move beyond your comfort zone requires smaller steps to confront your fears, whilst managing discomfort. Learn to become comfortable with uncertainty just as elite forces like the Navy Seals are trained. It's no surprise that personal growth is apparent beyond your comfort zone. In extending yourself, you celebrate your gains and accomplish new skills and emotional resiliency along the way.

That adaptability can work for or against you depending on your actions. If you remain idle, you risk rusting out, thus impairing your personal development. You can mitigate this uncertainty by reframing it as Stephen R. Covey avows, "Create an internal "comfort zone." Then, when you get into the situation, it isn't foreign. It doesn't scare you."

He is referring to creating an inner sanctuary when change overwhelms you. Within that space is the reassurance that what eventuates cannot disrupt what is familiar. Given life begins at the end of your comfort zone, what lies beyond your perceived security is far greater than your habituated environment. Life undergoes constant change and you must celebrate the challenging journey if you strive for a more enriching life.

4. Play Big In The Game Of Life

Play big in the game of life irrespective of fame, fortune or success. It is vital you honour your talents, resources and gifts to the best of your ability. It is incumbent on you to bring to life the best version of yourself regardless of your limitations. To be your best is an evolving process, yet the one true constant is that you improve without settling.

What you receive is proportional to what you believe you deserve. History has revealed less talented people who have achieved outstanding success owing to their commanding self-belief. Overcome your fears and push past your resistance. These two aspects alone keep you stranded because your life's objectives become diluted, through the fog of separation.

Sacrifice is essential in any field where the prize is big. Nothing is gained by standing on the side-lines. Even time is a sacrifice when pursuing your passion. Those who play small, receive smaller rewards. Those who take risks with little assurances, are compensated owing to their enduring commitment. Life honours those willing to risk it all and play big.

You cannot lose in the game of life where lessons are learned and wisdom is gained. Success arrives when you least expect it, due to the hard work and tireless commitment to greatness.

Focus on what matters and allow everything else not conducive to your potential to fall away. If it doesn't resonate with you, let it go so something better will fill its place. Overcome your fears and focus on what you can achieve. If you are pulled by your fears, you perceive life from a constrained mindset.

Trying to reach for the skies while lying on your back is not conducive to your potential. Get on your feet and make daily advances towards that which you seek. I urge you to think with the end in mind as the late Stephen Covey said if you wish to live a significant life. From that place you create an exceptional life using your talents, gifts and genius to serve others.

5. Discover Your Potential And Live It Fully

Every man yearns to express his potential through his life and work. The dictionary defines potential as: latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness. Potential evokes the impression of an idle car, roaring with possibility before hurtling down the road. It is the car's engine and driver that decide the car's speed. Yet, without someone to take control of the vehicle, there is little potential to speak of.

Regrettably, many people are held back by limiting beliefs, fears and doubts related to their potential. Left unchecked, these destructive energies perpetuate into a contracted self-worth. Whatever you buy into long enough and with enough conviction, forms your reality. You recognise potential within yourself foremost when you abide by your highest distinction. In doing so, it summons your dormant strengths and commitment toward greatness.

To cultivate potential, hold steadfast to move in the right direction, without becoming fixed on the path which leads you there. Potential must be obvious to the individual and is accompanied with passion and desire. Make it a priority to nurture your strengths since passion and enthusiasm alone only get you so far.

An indomitable will, spawned by inspiration rouses potential. It is through dedicated focus toward a vision or dream that transforms desire into action since strong aspirations alone are insufficient. Whatever is possible is attributed to the mind that can conceive it. The realisation of your goals and dreams are constrained only by your limiting beliefs. They slow if not halt progress altogether, because the same creative intelligence that manifests your desires, also gives birth to your insecurities.

The power to unleash potential is overcome by rising above your obstacles, instead of being defeated by them. Potential is clothed in: hard work, an indomitable will, commitment and courage. To take a contrasting view, I equate lack of potential to simmering water that never boils given the heat has been turned down on it. To nurture potential, form a strong foundation to harness those gifts and nurture them as you evolve.

You cannot escape your potential any more than refusing to inhale oxygen from the air surrounding you. However, how you use that potential forms the foundation for life to express herself through you. Your task is to birth that potential by giving it life through: dedication, commitment and inspired action.

6. Find Your Passion And Purpose

Your life's purpose is found through trial and effort. Purpose is found in action, not inaction. Your purpose may vary and may serve others as you evolve. Be mindful of attaching your purpose to your career as evident when one is made redundant, or the company downsizes. Many people describe feelings of emptiness following an unexpected change in their profession since they connect their purpose to their career.

The notion you have ONE purpose remains a misconception. There are many stories of successful people who have found innumerable callings throughout their life. Equally, many people are called to their purpose, while others uncover their purpose when they least expect it. There is no prevailing formula for finding one's purpose. The key lies in the commitment to action and perseverance.

One must stay open to inner guidance - by learning to trust your intuition. Seek the advice of those who have traversed the path before you by studying the steps they took to uncover their purpose. As well-intentioned as family members are, soliciting their advice contrary to your views may work against you. Another way to overcome your fears is to pursue your passions which embody your inner most desires. You must bring them to life and overcome your fears, anxieties and worries.

Your passions are connected to your greater self that is not bound by fears or negative emotions, but inspiration. When inspiration and passion converge, it is akin to a matchstick thrown on dry wood resulting in a burning flame. One without the other are merely objects, yet when brought together they can set anything alight. Passion engenders courage because you are driven by a strong desire to realise a greater purpose than your fears. Passion douses the flame on fear and turns it into smouldering ash before it burns furiously.

Your passion equalled with inspiration must be accompanied with a compelling WHY. It is infused with a deeper meaning tied to your purpose with an intent to bring forth the gifts from your soul. So the message is clear: find your passion and be fearless in your pursuit of it.

7. Live Without Regrets

Regret arises when you live less than what you are capable of. It signifies going against the tide of your inner wisdom, essential to your personal growth. Regret serves as a reminder your actions are not purposeful and a clearer intent is required. You must connect with a deeper motivation if you wish to live a life without regrets. This inner resource summons you to play bigger than what you have been.

Don't hide behind excuses when life does not turn out as you hoped since you are likely to become a victim instead of a victor. That's why you should be purposeful in your actions, instead of acting from a place of fear. When you take inspired action, everything unfolds according to a greater plan. The pieces of the puzzle come together as they should. The secret to living without regrets is to act intentionally with what is of importance to you.

If you are dictated by what popular culture considers important, you are not honouring your deepest wisdom, but following the masses. This is likely to result in regrets and uninspired action.

To live without regrets, pursue what you value most and fills your life with joy irrespective of what others consider. This does not mean your actions should affect other people though do not be dictated by what they consider important. People will disapprove how you live your life because it does not conform to their opinions. It may jeopardise their self-esteem since they have not taken action to follow their goals or dreams.

Similarly, people are afraid to try new things for fear of failure. When did failure embed itself in our psyche and stop us in our tracks? Failure is merely feedback, alerting you to something that requires more steps for completion. It should not impact your self-worth unless you allow it to.

Regret rears its ugly head when your actions are not aligned with your WHY. This is your underlying motivation clothed in a deeper purpose. Otherwise, you are likely to plod along and throw caution to the wind, hoping your efforts succeed. If it doesn't, you experience regret and a blow to your self-esteem since you have not tied it with your intrinsic values.

Living in the present moment offers the opportunity to reconnect with what is important now. Life advances at a fast pace, it's easy to lose sight of your inner needs until a major crisis appears. By then, it's too late because the foundations that once held your life together have collapsed, taking your sense of purpose with it. To follow your inner intelligence, tune in to the voice of your inner self. This may be as: play, movement or any form of creative expression.

The child within wants to be heard. If you dismiss it because things out there distract you, you miss exploring what is vital to your joy and happiness. I invite you to look unfavourably on regret and live an intentional life. When you are aligned with something greater, there is no room for regret. Instead, purposeful action commandeers the helm to lead you toward a life replete with fulfilment and bliss.

8. Develop True Strength Of Character

Character is engraved within you and follows you throughout life. It encompasses your reputable qualities and is the bedrock of your existence. But character can be eroded if you do not adhere to your highest values when it matters. This is because it takes time to build the choices you make. Habits build character. Your actions correspond to the sum of your character and are formed behind closed doors, revealing yourself to the world.

Still, you must align your values with your highest good and the good of others, through altruistic actions rather than self-serving interests. To uphold your moral values is not enough. Abiding by those values so your actions are congruent is of greater importance. You must build a strong foundation upon which your character is formed. The person with a strong character is willing to upgrade their knowledge to become a better version of themselves.

True strength of character is reinforced by continuous self-improvement. You must widen your circle of development to encompass greater attributes, indicative of the person you wish to become. Self-improvement is developed through a Growth Mindset instead of a Fixed Mindset, according to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, author of the international bestseller Mindset.

The Growth Mindset individual appreciates character is a transformative process that changes over the course of your life, so it coincides with your greater self.

Strength of character is vital to pursuing excellence and is not tied to success alone, but connected to constant improvement. True character develops when it is expressed, yet it must be apparent within the individual for it to be known. The individual must discard their previous knowledge in light of new information. With more insight comes more freedom, leading to personal power.

Therefore, character is an ongoing commitment to uphold your highest values. Character requires maintaining integrity, where you act in accordance with your highest values and treat people alike irrespective of their race, religion, education, gender or political affiliations. Integrity is the cornerstone of character. A crack in one's character is attributed to being inconsistent with their actions. French author André Gide wrote: "Be faithful to that which exists within yourself."

Those with strength of character are honest and trustworthy for they stand by their word as the pillar of their existence. Strength of character is evident in those who have self-control and emotional intelligence. They are in alignment with their core values and stand by their commitment not to weaken their principles.

Self-control is related to acting in a way that does not jeopardise one's character or moral values. Building character is a lifelong practice, so a momentary lapse of judgement can destroy it, where it took years to build.

True character is shaped behind closed doors since you cannot tell a great deal about a man until he is tested. Yet, in solitude he forms the bedrock of his character and shapes it like a blacksmith forming steel. For it was the late Dr. Wayne Dyer who once said: "What other people think of me is none of my business." It is the opinion of yourself that is of importance and the foundation of your strength of character.

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Internal Motivation VS External Motivation - The "Secret" To Monumental Success

The biggest problem for most people is they are externally motivated.

This means they focus on "things" external to them, such as cars, houses, clothes, technology (computers/phones), games etc. Whilst everyone is guilty of this to a certain degree, the best people are internally motivated.

Internal motivation sounds new-age woo-woo so I'll explain what it is.

Say you have a burning desire to fly. Or maybe you want to go to the moon and see what it's like to walk in zero gravity. Perhaps you're an artist. You could be a musician. Everyone has an underlying idea / ideal which makes their soul burn with passion. This is internal motivation.

In almost every case of monumental success (epoch defining), we find one core ideal lying at the heart of the individual's desire to risk their entire life upon a series of events that lead up to the eventual achievement of their goal. Some of the more pertinent would be Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Hannibal and even Hitler.

To take these examples, we can actually examine them as we would other people...

Alexander wanted to see what lay beyond the "outer ocean". Ancient Greeks believed the world was essentially a donut with a huge "outer ocean" surrounding the land (they obviously had not discovered the Americas or the poles at this point). His conquests were simply his way of trying to get to this ocean and see what lay beyond.

Caesar wanted to be like Alexander. A vain and ambitious man, we already know that he was as shrewd political operator. Born into a demi noble (patrician) family 50+ years before Jesus, many contemporaries described him as arrogant. It wasn't until he was 32, however, that Caesar encountered a statue of Alexander the Great when he was service as Quaestor in Spain. It is reported (by Plutarch) that Caesar broke down and wept - when confronted, he replied "I have not just cause to weep, when I consider that Alexander at my age had conquered so many nations, and I have all this time done nothing that is memorable?". Shortly afterwards, he returned to Rome to pursue greater political aspirations.

Hannibal invaded Italy in an attempt to subdue the fledgling Roman city state. In a time just after Alexander the Great, and around 150/200 years before Julius Caesar, Hannibal's "Second Punic War" was a huge upset in the region. Despite being best known for taking an army - with elephants - over the Alps, Hannibal's military victories far outshine this stunning feat. However, it would not have been possible had it not been for his father - Hamilcar Barca - who forced Hannibal to swear that he would destroy Rome when he was just 6 years old. Obviously, the young Hannibal took his oath to heart.

Adolf Hitler is interesting. Firstly, the raving madman many people seem him to be is a false post-war propaganda play. When you look at the man, you see someone fraught with internal conflict and a longing for acceptance in a world where he felt he was "special". What's vital about Hitler is the way in which his political ascent was triggered by his time on the Western Front. Upon hearing of the armistice in 1918, he was fraught with despair. Whilst this "trigger" was interesting, what actually lay at the root of his experience was an opera called Rienzi. The original manuscript has been lost (Hitler owned it and it was lost after the war)... but from what we know, it's Wagner's story about how a lowly Roman Plebian rose through the ranks of a corrupt government to lift his populace out of servitude.

The point of all this is that at the core of ALL massive success lies an underlying "trigger". This trigger is typically the ignition for something much deeper. This deeper ideal is what you really want but have either been told - or in many cases have identified yourself - as being something you can "never do". In other words, the "trigger" gives you a justification to actually pursue your true intentions.

The first step to becoming majorly successful is to first understand what you REALLY want out of life. As mentioned, if you want to "fly", there are many "ways" through which this can be achieved... becoming a pilot being one.

As most people never spend 2 minutes thinking about this type of thing, they never give themselves permission to consider it at all. This is why they live lives of silent desperation... consuming until they die.

Indeed, our modern world - devoid of heroes like they had in Ancient Greece - is now focused squarely on making as many people as high-powered consumers as possible. Everything will be fine just as long as you're a good tax & debt slave.

If you want to achieve monumental success, you WILL have to do "the work". Of that, there is no doubt.

However, if you want to be one of the "few" who truly make it, you need to consider what you really want. This is not something logical... you can't really "say" what it is. It's just a feeling you have. Again, everyone has one - the question is whether you have the courage to bring it to reality.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Internal-Motivation-VS-External-Motivation---The-Secret-To-Monumental-Success&id=9913790

How to Easily Create A Clear Path Ahead (By Liah Howard)

A number of years ago a friend who was very knowledgeable about Feng Shui told me that it is beneficial to have a picture of an open path hanging over my bed. She explained the idea behind the clear pathway is that the mind relaxes and envisions a positive outcome that may be just out of sight. This allows one to be open to the possibilities the infinite universe can manifest, rather than repeating past patterns. This little piece of advice has helped me at times when my mind wants to try and figure out a positive solution to a frustrating situation but, it gets stuck in the details or lacks knowledge about how a new positive result may come to pass.

Often in life, the infinite divine is much better at resolving issues than I could have ever conceived of. Recently, I was feeling a bit disheartened about being single for many years. I would look at happy couples and wonder if my romantic life would ever be alive again. Then I remembered the feeling of peace and happiness that overcame me when I would see the picture of that beautiful clear path through the woods. Every time I focused on the tranquil scene, I felt content and hopeful. I stopped worrying about how I might find true love and be in a loving partnership, and instead shifted my mind to presence and peace. I trusted that the great infinite spirit of the universe wanted my path to love to be made easy and clear. This positive visualization assisted me in relaxing and staying in today, while feeling hopeful about the future and not worrying about the outcome.

Then quite unexpectedly, one chilly morning in January as I was checking my email, I received a letter from an old college boyfriend. Forty-three years had passed since we dated. His name is Mark and he wanted to reconnect and apologize for having broken up with me so many years ago. I was in such disbelief that he had found me after so much time had passed, that I read his email three times. I returned his email and invited him to talk if he wished. Our first conversation was six hours long and we have chatted every day since that fateful moment when he reached out across time and space to reconnect with me. The infinite divine had answered my prayer in quite an unexpected way.

Mark has now moved to Hawaii from California and is my boyfriend and neighbor who lives one mile down the street. Our romance is blossoming and we both feel incredibly blessed. I never would have guessed that around the bend on my path such a sweet surprise lay in store for me. I am reminded that trusting that life can bring unexpected gifts opens the door to opportunities beyond our wildest imagination and prevents us from repeating old patterns. I invite you to place a picture of a clear pathway over your bed and see what magic life has in store for you around the next bend.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Easily-Create-A-Clear-Path-Ahead&id=10101756

Could You Benefit From A Work Stress Counsellor?

This is actually a perfectly natural response to what our brain perceives as a threat, hence why it sends us into 'fight or flight' mode. In more primitive times, this response would have actually served us well - say if we woke alerted to a predator approaching our cave or we had to protect our young from an intruder.

The body's fight or flight response would have, at one time, kept us alive and protected our offspring - as we still see in animals all the time. However, these days, the actual threats that we face on a day-to-day basis where this kind of response could come in useful are minimal, but our minds and bodies haven't quite caught up.

When it comes to everyday problems, once the moment has passed we're usually able to return to our composed selves. So, what happens when we aren't able to switch off from it? Long-term, this can have a detrimental affect on our sleep patterns, our mental health and even our immunity to certain illnesses, so should be taken seriously.

One of the main culprits of stress is work-related pressure. There is so much out there telling us we need to 'get ahead', make more money or compete with our colleagues, that we can forget to look after ourselves when we're caught up in it all. It's easy to forget that this negativity can trickle into all aspects of our lives, including our relationships.

This can then have a knock-on effect, causing us to make poor choices when it comes to our diets, sleeping habits and self-care. Not only this, but stress can cause many people to look for relief from sometimes destructive substances like alcohol, cigarettes or even drugs, if not dealt with in the right way.

If you're finding yourself increasingly burnt out, exhausted and unable to relax at the end of a day, you could be suffering form stress. You may have noticed that this also provokes anxiety, causing your heart to beat faster and even making it difficult to breathe.

You may find that when it comes to relax and leave the day behind, you're exhausted but unable to sleep. The sleeplessness then makes it difficult to manage with your ability to cope with work pressures the next day - and so the cycle continues.

In order to help yourself better manage your responsibilities without compromising your mental and physical health, you could contact a work stress counselor. Talking therapies have proved effective time and time again in a number of instances where your job may be taking its toll - more so than medication or alternative practices.

Of course, your counsellor may suggest propping up your counselling with other practices such as exercise, mindfulness or meditation. But they will likely provide a personalised approach to your therapy according to what you find most helpful.

There is no need to feel shame about seeking help - everyone benefits from therapy at one point or another during their lives. In many employment fields, counseling is a mandatory part of the job, and many other workplaces are employing mindfulness and meditation practices to help employees better manage their mental wellbeing.

Have a look online for a registered counsellor that can offer work-related counselling services. You will probably need to call up or arrange a visit for a consultation and to see if you and your therapist are a good fit, but after that, you should start seeing your stress levels diminish once you have a professional sounding board.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Could-You-Benefit-From-A-Work-Stress-Counsellor?&id=9633936

Sometimes You've Just Got to Say 'No'

Many people find that it's their automatic default to say 'yes' whenever something is asked of them. They may have learned to respond without even thinking about it, maybe regard others' needs as more important than their own or don't want to cause disappointment, offence or appear 'difficult' by declining.

Saying 'yes' can be a positive trait that opens new doors and experiences. It can be a significant investment in our relationships, but used too often or without due consideration can also lead to overwhelm, frustration and resentment.

Let's look at why sometimes you've just got to say 'no';

- At times it can become apparent that we need to re-define the boundaries of our relationships and remind/reinstate the parameters of what's appropriate and acceptable. Over time we may have ended up doing things out of habit or by default. That's not always the best or most respectful way to live. From now let's decide to be clearer about our roles and check whether the things we accept or agree to are still okay for us. Saying 'no' can be an important part of reclaiming our self-respect.

- Personal time and space is integral to good self-care. Don't underestimate the role of some me-time. Just because you're free and don't have an important task or commitment at the moment means you should feel guilty or allow others to encroach on that time. If you had an appointment with an important client it's hard to imagine that you'd let something distract you from honouring it. So, put yourself in your diary and say 'no' to cancelling, unless a real emergency crops up. Commit to regular time for yourself.

- Sometimes saying 'no' can be a way of letting others know how much you do, what else you've got on, that you're too busy to take on any more. They perhaps don't appreciate the extent of your responsibilities and commitments, how time-consuming they are and may well back off once you've explained firmly and politely. If you always say 'yes' they may think you don't mind, are happy to be the 'go to guy'. And it may be that it's only upon reflection, that you start to appreciate how much you actually do, automatically, without a second thought.

- Don't forget too that boredom is often underrated. We may feel obligated to fill every moment with meaningful activity, with chores, catching up with people, self-improvement. There's often a list of things we could/should/ought to be doing, but doing nothing is fine occasionally. It lets our minds and bodies calm down and be still. It teaches us about the importance of silence and inactivity, about switching off our 'I'm ready, bring it on' adrenalin. Children often learn a lot when they're bored. All too often they have technology, films and adults desperate to provide constant stimulus and amusement, but children, when left to their own devices, are often ingenious at using their imaginations and amusing themselves. That skill needs to be encouraged.

- Find acceptable ways of saying 'no', that you're comfortable with. Anger and outrage can flare if we feel we're under pressure to do more, always say 'yes', but that extreme reaction is often unnecessary. Saying, 'it's not a good time for me', or 'I'm busy, already doing x and y' may be enough to placate the situation, inform others of things you're already doing and encourage them to respect you and your time more.

- Then there are those of us who say 'yes' so frequently to invitations that we forget which concerts, events, parties we've actually been to! Saying 'yes' too often can turn special moments into a half-remembered blur. A bit like testing too many perfumes, we become numb and unable to fully appreciate each experience.

Saying 'yes' is important. It gets us out of our comfort zone, keeps us alert and receptive to new experiences and opportunities. And often when we say 'yes' and commit to seemingly impossible opportunities or agree to things we don't want to do, we can be pleasantly surprised at how well they turn out. But equally, we need to be ready to say 'no' if we feel overloaded, trapped, taken for granted or not properly equipped to do a good job. Used well, both yes and no can serve positive roles in our lives.

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The Addictive Personality Part Three

Deep down inside people with addictions know that what they are doing is wrong. They know that their behaviors, choices, and actions are hurting them and their loved ones. But the need to feed their addiction supersedes everything else in their life.

To perpetuate their addiction they must deny that the substance, compulsion, or habit has anything to do with what is going wrong around them. That is why they become very defensive when confronted with their behavior. There are a variety of defense mechanisms used by those with active addictions.

Denial

Denial is a defense mechanism in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true. The ability to deny that he or she has such a strong emotional attachment to his or her addiction of choice is largely what enables an addict to continue the addiction despite overwhelming evidence. The more severe the problem, the more denial there usually is.

Repression

Repression is the conscious mechanism those with addictions use to completely tune out the fact that they have a problem. They simply stop acknowledging the addiction to themselves and others.

Minimizing

With minimizing, those with addictions will acknowledge that something is wrong but not want to make a big deal out of it. When confronted by others they rationalize that others are placing too much emphasis on the problem; that it's not nearly as bad as others are making it out to be.

Toxic Shame

Toxic shame is used by those with addictions to avoid taking responsibility for their problem. They see themselves as flawed and never measuring up; like their whole life has been a mistake. They believe they are victims of their past. Because they feel defective, they seek something that will make them feel better, but it is a hole they can never fill.

Blaming and Shifting Blame

Blaming is similar to toxic shame in that those with addictions avoid taking responsibility for the problem. They may accept some of the responsibility for their problem but believe that others are more to blame for it. They may act like victims, shifting the blame for their addiction onto the situation they are in or the people they are with. They don't look at how they contribute to the problem. This gives them a sense of entitlement to use their substance since they are not to blame for doing it.

Rationalizing

Rationalization is used to explain away the consequences of their addictive behavior or choices. They rationalize that whatever happened would have happened regardless of their addiction. For example: The factors that led to the car accident would have caused it to happen whether he or she was intoxicated or not.

Deflection

When confronted about their addiction addicts may use deflection to take the focus off of themselves. They do this by bringing up the other person's shortcomings, similar activities that the person may partake in, or behavior the person may have exhibited in the past. For example, alcoholics might remind people that they have no room to criticize their drinking because they drink too.

Normalizing

Wanting to feel normal, since they feel so shameful for their behavior, they surround themselves with others who abuse the same substance and have the same level of addiction.

Grandiosity

Most people with addictions suffer from low-self-esteem. Aware and shameful that they are messing up their lives, they use "Grandiosity," the unrealistic inflation of their sense of self, as a defense mechanism to hide their feelings of vulnerability and low of self-worth. They may have low self-esteem yet still believe they are better than other people.

Compartmentalizing

By compartmentalizing their addiction they are able to display the behaviors expected of them for windows of time. This fools them and others into thinking that they have control over their lives.

Controlling

Those with addictions try to control everything and everyone around them, believing it will get them what they want. When others don't cooperate they become even more controlling. It is delusional; they believe that what they are doing is going to work even though it rarely does.

Undoing

People with addictions will demonstrate destructive behavior and then try to "undo" it by apologizing, offering gifts, or promising that they'll never do it again. They do this to distract others from the real problem; from the fact that they have an addiction.

If you recognize signs of an addictive personality in yourself there are steps you can take to prevent it from spiraling out of control.

1. You must admit that there is a problem. Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. Be honest and objective in your assessment of it. Surround yourself with a good support system.
2. Learn to face your feelings whether good or bad. Don't put them on the back burner, stuff them inside, ignore them, or medicate them. Allow yourself to experience whatever emotions come up.
3. Arm yourself with knowledge; research your problem so you will not have to fear it.
4. If you can discontinue the addictive behavior without needing medical intervention, begin weaning yourself off of it. Cigarette smoking and overeating both fall into this category. If you are addicted to a substance such as drugs or alcohol, get professional help immediately. You cannot stop these habits without medical supervision.
5. Join a support group with people who share your particular addiction. It helps to know that you are not the only one dealing with it. If you would like to try attending a twelve-step meeting, find out where and when they meet in your area. There are 12-step support groups for every kind of addiction imaginable. To find one search "List of Twelve Step Programs."

Be kind to yourself. Replace negative or destructive behaviors with positive ones. Set goals and reward yourself for reaching them. Find healthy ways to be happy whatever they may be. Take a class in a hobby or something that interests you. Surround yourself with positive people; weed toxic people out of your life. Learn how to reduce stress in your life in ways that are beneficial to your overall well-being. Learn how to meditate. Take long relaxing baths. Take a yoga class or learn how to practice it on your own. Take walks. Go to the gym.

If you want to head in the right direction, all you have to do is keep walking forward.

Learn the steps you can take to prevent your addiction from spiraling out of control.

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The Addictive Personality Part Two

Much has been written about genetic predisposition and its relationship to addictive personalities. Having an addict in the family does not guarantee that everyone in the family will become addicts. But many believe that hereditary factors can raise a person's level of vulnerability to substance abuse or other addictions. That may explain why some gamble in moderation and others compulsively-why some can drink for enjoyment and others become alcoholics.

It does seem as if those with the genetic predisposition will engage in some type of excessive behavior but will not necessary choose the same stimuli they have been exposed to. Adult children of alcoholics may never drink but they may become addicted to gambling. Children of drug addicts may exercise excessively or be workaholics.

There is no single gene that determines a person's susceptibility to addiction. Studies comparing identical and fraternal twins estimate that genetic factors account for 40 to 60 percent of the occurrence of the gene variation.

Researchers have discovered a number of genes that link to addiction through DNA testing. One gene causes dizziness and nausea from smoking and is more present in non-smokers than smokers. Alcoholism is rare in those who have two copies of the ALDH2 gene. Other genes have been linked to narcotic dependency.

Variants in certain genes have been shown to suppress dopamine signals in the brain. Those with these blunted receptors have the need to seek higher levels of stimulation to reach the same level of pleasure as those who don't have the variants. DNA testing can offer vital clues in battling addiction but the use of it is very controversial. The concern is that some may use this information for discrimination purposes.

It comes down to the nature versus nurture argument. Environment and upbringing are believed to be equally important in shaping the personality. Our life circumstances and emotional experiences may have more influence than our genetic make-up does. Under this theory no matter our chemical make-up, we still have the ability to choose and control our actions.

There are factors that may indicate a higher risk of developing a serious addiction. People who have difficulty thinking about the long term consequences of their actions are more susceptible to developing an addiction. So are those who do everything in excess and/or to extremes, and those who habitually substitute one compulsion for another. For example, stressed out workaholics may come home at the end of the day and start drinking to help them relax. They may use cybersex because they don't have time for real relationships. They may stress-eat.

Those with addictive personalities are most vulnerable during periods of heightened stress such as adolescence and times of transition. People who suffer from mental illnesses, emotional disorders, and personality disorders are highly prone to addiction as well. Without being aware that they have a condition, they may self-medicate to manage emotions using substances or behaviors to relieve whatever discomfort they may feel.

Nonconformists, non-achievers, and those with deviant personalities are also prime candidates for addiction. Many adult addicts report having been subjected to deprivation or overindulgence in their childhoods. Others report that they were negatively impacted by their parents' constant, unpredictable fluctuation between over-praise and over-criticism.

Addictions are unmanageable, excessive, and repetitive. The addiction activity begins harmlessly with a pleasurable experience, but over time more and more of the activity is needed to achieve the same effect. People become dependent on the high they get and find it difficult to stop the behavior. If deprived of their fix they will find a substitute. If forced to stop the behavior they will suffer physical or psychological symptoms of withdrawal that compel them to resume the addiction. Over time they lose the ability to cope with life without the addictive stimuli.

People with addictions will deny that what they're doing is detrimentally affecting them while work, family, and social relationships suffer and their health declines. Their desperation often lead them to take extremes in getting the fix, which ultimately creates financial and legal issues.

Addictions can be classified as hard or soft. Hard addictions, also known as substance addiction, are categorized by the rapid affect they have on many aspects of the person's behavior as well as the effect they have on everyone around him or her. Abuse of alcohol, barbiturates, and narcotics are usually the source of this type of addiction. This is different than substance abusers who use from time to time. Substance addicts spend every waking moment finding ways to buy and use drugs or alcohol.

With soft addictions the abuser uses activities that are harmless to most people. The consequences of those behaviors are not immediately felt. Cigarette smoking and coffee drinking are two commonly known examples of soft addictions. It is much easier to hide soft addictions and cover up the behaviors that result from them. But soft-addictions have the propensity to lead to more serious addictions down the road.

Gambling is another common example of a soft addiction. Gamblers with addictive personalities go through three stages. In the first phase, also known as the winning phase, the person has control over his or her behavior. The second stage is known as the losing phase. In this phase the person begins gambling alone, gambling large sums of money, and borrowing cash to pay off mounting debt. The third phase is called the desperation phase. In this phase the gambler engages in more risky, sometimes illegal behavior. In desperation he or she may borrow money from non conventional sources. Depression and attempted suicide are common in the third phase of gambling.

Other examples of soft addictions are eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive over-eating. Though there are other factors that contribute to this type of behavior, it can develop into pathological behavior that is very similar to addiction. The anorexic fixates on the goal of losing weight. Once the person begins dieting he or she finds it very hard to stop. Those with bulimia are after the same goal as those who are anorexic, but the mode of operation is different. Instead of limiting their diet they binge on large amounts of food and then purge it before their bodies have the chance to digest it. Compulsive eaters are not concerned with weight loss or weight gain, though the disorder often results in obesity. They have a compulsive urge to eat, whether hungry or not.

Something as beneficial as exercising can become a preoccupation or addiction to those who are predisposed to having one. Running is the most prevalent; runners are known to get a runner's high and can become dependent on it. This is attributed to mood-enhancing chemicals called endorphins that are released during exercise. An addiction occurs when the exercise activity is used as an escape or a coping mechanism. It's a problem when it becomes so excessive that the body suffers injury, and when it negatively impacts relationships.

Compulsive buying falls under the category of soft addictions. Those who do it are addicted to the buzz it gives them. It has nothing to do with what they are buying, it is simply their drug. They buy only for the sake of buying without ever intending to use it. Those with this disorder often suffer from other disorders such as depression, mood swings, and anxiety. Buying gives them temporary relief, but after they do it they feel heightened anxiety and intense guilt. One study showed that twenty percent of compulsive buyers suffer from an eating disorder as well.

The two newest additions to the soft-addiction category are Internet abuse and cell phone abuse. They are more prevalent in younger generations, though there is a significant number of older people who develop these addictions as well.

Those who have an Internet addiction, also known as pathological Internet use, find they cannot control their usage of it. They may be drawn to online games, social networking sites, or other online sites, and will spend an excessive amount of time there. The use becomes an addiction when withdrawal symptoms such as mood changes are suffered when they are away from it.

Some people become addicted to cyber relationships. A problem occurs when these relationships are used to avoid face to face, interpersonal interactions. This addiction can lead to social, psychological, and work or school problems.

A recent study shows that those who are addicted to cell phone use display behaviors very similar to those with addictive personalities-low self-esteem, approval seeking, insecurity. Cell phones have become indispensable in our lives, but they can reinforce the tendency of over-attachment for those with addictive personalities.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Addictive-Personality-Part-Two&id=10040075

The Addictive Personality, Part One

How do you envision someone with an addictive personality? Do you picture an alcoholic, someone strung out on drugs, a chain smoker, or a gambler down on his luck?

Addictive behaviors are commonly thought of as behaviors that impair a person's ability to function. Often they do but not all addictive behaviors have that effect. Some addictive behaviors do not negatively influence or impact the person's life.

Many people are unaware that they even have the tendency because their behavior doesn't fit the image they have in their mind of those who do. Someone with an addictive personality can turn a positive activity, such as exercising, into an obsession. As one mental health expert put it, healthy people plan exercise around their life. Addicts plan their life around exercise.

Those with addictive personalities have urges other people don't have that can impede their ability to make good decisions. They have the tendency to do things that are fine in moderation, things that those without addictive personalities do with no problem, and become addicted to them. They are prone to becoming dependent on substances, activities, and other people-just about anything. And they are especially at high at risk of becoming addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, pornography, exercise, work, and codependency.

It is theorized that 15% of American people have a predisposition to addiction. Doctors and clinicians still debate whether or not the addictive personality exists. The National Institute on Drug Abuse calls it a brain disease. Though addictive personality has not been classified as a personality disorder by the American Psychological Association, there are common traits that those with the tendency have-certain characteristics that make them more susceptible to physical or psychological dependencies that may negatively impact their quality of life. Not everyone demonstrating these characteristic will develop an addiction.

A common characteristic of the addictive personality is poor stress management skills. Without the benefit of healthy coping skills they are prone to using substances, activities, or other people as a way to manage their emotional discomfort and alleviate stress. They have the tendency to self-medicate, believing they are only using it symptomatically, but in fact are using it as a way to cope with life. Some have social anxiety or have trouble letting their guard down. Substances help them let go and have fun.

Many with addictive personalities suffer from insecurity or are excessive approval seekers. They may use substances such as drugs and alcohol to provide a temporary sense of worth, a pseudo-identity. Though they are aware that the sense of worth achieved that way is false, they like the way it feels and crave it more and more. They may turn to addictive substances in order to deal with insecurity, or they may ultimately feel powerless to stop an addiction once it starts.

Another marker of the addictive personality is the lack of ability to get in touch with feelings. The feelings are there but they may be too painful to look at. Feeling makes them feel vulnerable and out of control. This causes someone to focus outward, searching for anything that makes them feel good inside and comforts them.

Those with addictive personalities often have the need for instant gratification. They crave the quick, powerful feeling that makes them feel good in ways nothing else can. The euphoric feeling is short-lived so they are constantly seeking more. This sometimes occurs with those who have obsessive or compulsive personalities, and those who are perfectionists.

The inability to form emotional attachments with other people is another characteristic of those with addictive personalities. Many of these people are unable to make relationship commitments. Some alienate themselves from others believing that trusting relationships are unattainable. Some have brief, superficial relationships filled with emotional turmoil, and often with those who also have addictive personalities or are abusive. Substances such as drugs or alcohol become substitutes for the bond they lack with others.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Addictive-Personality,-Part-One&id=10040063

How The Mind/Body Connection Works To Prevent Stress

Are you stressfully caught up in the world or wisely above it all? Stress indicates a lack of understanding of how your mind works. It indicates an incorrect relationship with whatever you're thinking, feeling, sensing or doing. -- All the faculties of your unique personality. The problem is that everyone else in the world is just as unique as you, and sometimes your uniqueness clashes or conflicts with theirs! What to do?

Well you could simply kill anyone who disagrees with you -- but we've learned from Forensic Files that it's not that simple. Short of murder, there are many ways to resolve conflict but most are short lived because they deal with the stress symptom rather than the cause. Medicine and psychiatry are of little help. If a pill or surgery doesn't fix it -- they are lost. You're going to have to do it yourself -- and it's an inside job.

Here's the knowledge and method: The first and last thing to understand about stress is that it's caused by your taking life personally! You're erroneously experiencing life from a personally-biased perspective instead of a neutral one. Your uniqueness can make you a very interesting personality -- but you are more than just a personality. That's just the "body" part of you.

You also have a "mind" part. The mind part is your aware or "spiritual" part. The part that's aware and in control of what your personality is thinking, feeling, sensing and doing while it's doing them. --Two separate and distinct entities working together as one. And here's the key: To the degree those two entities are kept separate from each other, stress is not possible!

Here's how the relationship works when it's working correctly: Your body self is personal; your aware self is impersonal. Your aware self relates to your personal self as if the personal self were totally separate from the world. Your aware self is as if totally oblivious to the fact that you're in the world at all.

Your aware self treats mental, emotional, sensual and physical activity as if they were totally autonomous. It treats them solely in and of themselves - without any external or further context at all. Thoughts are just thoughts. Feelings are just feelings. Sensations, just sensations. Movement, just movement.

There are no whys or wherefores. No reasoning, evaluation, opinion or commentary at all. No "personal" considerations whatsoever. The awareness knows things simply and exactly as they are! Period. The method and mindset, then, is to simply keep a mirror-like distance from all you see, hear, think, feel and do -- all the time, to the best of your ability. It's amazing!

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-The-Mind/Body-Connection-Works-To-Prevent-Stress&id=9649212

There Are Three Types Of People

Yes, there are millions of types of people but, they all fall into one of three categories (for the sake of this article) - yes people, no people and maybe people. Let me explain.

But before I do, let me be clear - your response to the following will tend to be an automatic quick reaction to what you read. In other words, you will be an example of what the point of the article actually is - you will have a yes, a no or a maybe response to the content of this article and what and how I share it. OK, now that that's out of the way, on to the substance.

Yes, people are not pie in the sky optimists but tend to see the world as half full vs. half empty. They tend to have open minds even about things they are uncomfortable with or know little about. Their first reaction to meeting new people, new ideas, not opportunities and yes even new problems and challenges are - a yes - I can do it, I can figure it out, I will make it work, I won't let it derail me, I won't let it ruin me, I won't give it control over me etc. They are not always easy to persuade or influence just because they are yes people, but they are more open and receptive to new and different stuff, ideas, people, and circumstances.

No people, on the other hand, are just the opposite of yes people. Their first responses to most stuff is a quick - no - I can't, it won't work, it's too expensive, too cheap, too old, too new, he's too arrogant, she's too short etc. get it - these folks are closed off from almost anything and everything that represents new, change, better, different etc.

And then there are maybe people. These folks can go either way - yes or no, but their reaction and responses will generally be governed by a number of factors. Their need for approval, their need to avoid rejection, their self-esteem, their desire to avoid conflict, their desire to contribute to positive outcomes regardless of whether they are based on or grounded in truth, reality or evidence. They have decision phobia when any of the above situations are in play. Yes, they can be yes people, but when it suits the circumstances, environment or outcomes and yes, they can be no people depending on the same issues. A few things to consider and I'll keep them short.

What are the major contributors to which group a person is in?

Your upbringing and early conditioning by parents, caregivers, churches, schools and teachers, relatives, friends and anyone who had temporary or permanent influence over what you learned, what and who you were exposed to and everything you were taught. Most psychologists agree that a person's self-esteem is established at the latest by age 10. So, before you hit your teens you tended to be a yes, no or a maybe person.

Can someone successfully switch groups permanently?

Yes, but it's not easy and takes time, a lot of effort, great patience, focus, new learning, a lot of will and a great deal of desire to change. It's harder for no people to change and it takes more time for a maybe person to change.

Which group tends to be happier and more content?

What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people be happy and content? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them.

Which group tends to be more successful?

What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people be successful? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them.

Which group tends to be healthier?

What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people be healthy? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them. Sensing a pattern here?

Which group tends to live longer?

What do you think? And why - if you were right - It's yes people. Can no or maybe people live long lives? Of course, but it's not an easy journey for them.

There are a lot of other areas we could discuss that specifically address each group and its issues, circumstances, tendencies, behaviors, attitudes etc. but if you are a no person I have lost you by now. If you are a maybe person you are conflicted because of certain things I have said and if you are a yes person you have other things to do and I'm not telling you anything you don't know or have felt or believed in the past and I have just put words to the subject and it's time for you to move on to something else.

https://ezinearticles.com/?There-Are-Three-Types-Of-People&id=9965045

Do You Need An Encourager In Your Life Now?

Do you need an encourager in your life now? Ever needed one in the past? Are you an encourager? Just so we are on the same page if you decide to read this article - an encourager is someone who - guess what - yes, encourages others. But, is there more to the idea of being an encourager? Yes, and I know firsthand what role an encourager can have in our life when we are heading in the wrong direction, hitting bottom or just feel like no one cares.

During my years I have had many occasions when I was in desperate need of encouragement rather than invalidation. And, on some occasions, these people showed up and, on many occasions, I was left alone to navigate life's challenges, trials, adversity and failures alone. I have learned both the hard way and the easy way the importance of having encouragers in our lives when we need them.

How about you - ever had to deal with a life issue alone and no one was in your corner or maybe even no one who cared? I can tell you if you have never been there that these times can be very trying life circumstances that can stretch us to our limits of faith, patience, hope, and belief forcing us to reach deep and find something we didn't even know we had.

What is the role of an encourager?

Encouragers are not in our lives to pave the way forward so that we can aimlessly wander through life's circumstances, lessons and challenges without effort, learning, fear or even guaranteed success. Encouragers are teachers. They are caring and compassionate souls who want to help us learn life's lessons with as little pain and trauma as possible but they are not in our lives to help us avoid what life wants and needs us to learn so we can be productive humans regardless of our roles, responsibilities or opportunities. Encourages can cheer us on, root for us and listen to our concerns and needs but their role is not to remove the learning from our lives that are necessary to master so we can grow and become productive in whatever fashion we have chosen.

Encouragers don't remove the pain or drama from our life, but they help us to find the inner courage, belief, and resilience to handle it, manage it, overcome it and yes learn from it.

Who can be an encourager?

Encouragers can be family, friends, co-workers, customers and even total strangers. I can recall years ago sitting in an airport waiting to board a flight when I was having a conversation with a total stranger. FYI - ever had one of those - where you shared intimate inner fears, dreams, plans, hopes or frustrations with a total stranger who you knew you would never see again? Happens all the time and why? We all need times to share, express and cathart and if we don't have people in our routine lives who can fill this role, we will reach out to anyone and everyone from time to time.

Back to my example - I shared with them the frustration of dealing with a challenging client that I had been working with for years. They listened respectfully as I went on for what seemed forever, and they finally asked a simple question. "Why are you tolerating this behavior and not just cutting the cord and moving on?" This is not what I thought I wanted to hear or felt I needed to hear but it was what they chose to share, and you know what - in reality, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

I could have shared this with a spouse at the time or a few good friends and peers but was unable to admit the frustration to them so I just kept it bottled up inside me to the detriment of other relationships and activities in my life that kept deteriorating due to my lack of ability or willingness to address the issue. Finally, with the help of a total stranger, I was able to move one.

Ever been there? How about family, friends and even neighbors who from time to time are needed to help us weather life's storms?

How can we handle stuff when we don't have an encouraged in our life?

Trials, tribulations, adversity, disappointment, failure, etc. are all a normal part of living. To deny them is to be naive and immature. So, what are we to do when they strike with or without warning? There are dozens of ways to manage life's negative circumstances and while some are more efficient than others many can be a waste of time, energy and even resources.

Enter the encourager, someone who can help you, support you, believe in you, teach you, encourage you and care. No one likes going through adversity alone especially when we are unable to see clearly the resources, solutions or answers that are obvious and right in front of us.

No one wants to feel abandoned or without someone who cares when life's negatives show up on our doorstep. We all need emotional support from time to time regardless of our age, gender, financial status or education.

Without encouragers in our lives during challenging times we will tend to overreact, fall into depression, feel hopeless, make dumb decisions or just isolate ourselves from the world.

Encouragers are an important part of our lives and believe me having gone through many negative life experiences alone I treasure a few of the encouragers I have had during my life. "Thant you - each and every one of you."

What does it take to be an encourager for others?

I'll keep this final question short and to the point. To be an encourager you need some or many of the following traits, characteristics, attitudes, beliefs, values, etc.

-You care about the influence you have on others.

-You believe in the value of the human spirit in others.

-You do not have a selfish bone in your body.

-You always put others ahead of yourself.

- You have a giving spirit.

- You want to leave a legacy of service.

- You have the ability, to be honest even when the message might be perceived as negative.

- You have a healthy self-esteem.

- You don't need the approval of others to feel personal value.

- You are a listener.

- You do not have personal agendas whole encouraging others.

Yes, there are many others, but these are a few of the basics

Got any of these traits? Need them from someone else?

https://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Need-An-Encourager-In-Your-Life-Now?&id=10163983

How To Be A Creator Of Circumstances

How to be a creator of circumstances rather than letting things just happen to you, is an idea that enters your mind when you realize that your thoughts somehow shape the reality you experience. Of course, opinions and beliefs influence the world around you, but how they affect you is your choice.

But if the answer is so simple, why isn't everyone doing it? Why aren't most people successful or happy? What is the difference between a creator and a creature of circumstances?

Circumstances are often attributed to things beyond our control. It is a word we often use to prove, describe or explain the situation we are in at present or in the past. But when you think in this way, you then are a creature of what is happening around you. Situations control you when it should be the other way around.

When you want to become successful or get something, you have to believe in your abilities. But you also need to realize that you control your thoughts. Thus you can shape your circumstances. It is the only way I know how to build a life, where you do what you want to do. And it takes knowledge, obligations, awareness, belief, risk, intuition and hard but smart work.

"Successful people are one hundred percent convinced that they are the masters of their own destiny. They are not creatures of circumstances, they create circumstances, and if the circumstances around them suck, they change them." - Jordan Belfort, the Wolf of Wall Street.

Creature of Circumstances

Just look at the present circumstances in your life, which are in control and which are you directing? When you search deep enough, you may find that while many are a result of the habits and choices you made over the years. Others are the consequence of other people's beliefs, preferences, and decisions.

So, how they affect, touch and impact you are your decision. Let's say that you had a bad experience with a cat when you were younger. And so, it creates a fear which makes you decide never to touch or get close to cats again. Believe me when I tell you that any animal sense the fear you have of them, and it reinforces it by their reaction when they are close to you.

As a result, you avoid cats and refuse to get near them. In this way, it also makes your social life tricky as you have a hard time visiting friends who have cats. You may even avoid certain places or cross the street as soon as you see one. In this instance, you became a creature of circumstances because your lousy experience made you a slave to a habit which has created different situations for you.

Two Types of People - Creator and Creature

Therefore, in this world, there are only two kinds of persons:

1. People who are a creator of circumstances and turn everything they want into reality.
2. The rest who are creatures of circumstances which is no other than 95% of the population and gets little to nothing.

Do you really want to be known as the person, who settles, goes through life barely making it, being satisfied with what you get and accepting what happens? Or do you want to be great and successful, and have a legacy and a reputation as someone who is a warrior in life?

Well, personally, I am a person who wants to make an impact and is a creator of his own world. So, you have to be an architect that creates his own life and designs it, despite all obstacles. You should strive to be a creator of circumstances instead of a creature of it. I know, I know- easier said than done. But do you have a better choice in mind?

How to Be a Creator of Circumstances

In the past, I was at times a creature to some of the circumstances life offered me. And I know you have to or still do. It is no fun at all as one grows resentful. But in the times where I won, I realize I created and controlled all of my circumstances. So how can you go from a creature to a creator?

First of all, if you change your thoughts, you will begin to alter your circumstances. Most people react to conditions or situations thinking that they have no control over them. It is true to some degree! There are various things that you cannot control. Stuff like who your relatives are or specific physical features you have.

But rather than letting the circumstances mold you, you have to be the one who changes the conditions of life that surround you. You can think, analyze and figure out whether you want to accept the situation or replace it. So, you are the creator of your circumstances, even if you do like it or don't.

Habits and Circumstances

In fact, most of your circumstances are a result your choices and decisions in life. If you take the time to search the source or cause of the reason you are in your situation, you might find out that you chose or decided what brought you there. But again, you must realize that unconscious habits have a significant role to play in the circumstances you create for yourself.

Therefore, these habits reinforce and support your beliefs, views, and principles. And it becomes even harder to change. Deep-rooted habits and circumstances are somehow intertwined. So you have to work on your inner self to change your outer world. You have to replace some habits with better ones.

However, too many people accept the status quo and refuse to go against the flow, out of fear. Everyone wants change, but not many want to change. When you look at the world around you, you can see what I am talking about here. To be a creator of circumstances, you have to go against the flow.

Creators Change the World

What happens when people who have enough do something about it? They change the world. I never settled very often in my life, and when I did, I rebelled against it after a while. Life is not about giving in but about fighting back.

On the other hand, so many people use circumstances to justify or excuse why they are the way they are. It is much easier to blame someone or something for the bad that happens or for the failures than to look within.

So, start to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what the worst thing that could happen, if you become the creator of your circumstances, is. Focus on the best-case scenario instead of looking at the worst one. Great things happen to those who believe and take action.

Most of the time, the probability of success is on your side. Visualize what you want. Take action every day. Build momentum. The choice is yours but remember; it is better to be a creator of circumstances than to be a creature of situations which dictate your life.

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