What Do I Do With My Fear?

Self-improvement can start when I set a specific goal for myself, which I wish to achieve within a finite time frame. The first requirements are commitment and continuity. The volume of enthusiasm I show in the initial stages evaporates with time. Once I lose that steam, I slow down. But my expectations of getting quicker results might force me to take shortcuts which eventually fail. Frustration often makes me change goals, hoping to find an easier and softer one. That doesn't happen anyway. Now I become cynic, negative and wither away. What exactly is ailing me?

Present continuous - Key to progress

"I have achieved many things in the past. I have many years of experience in my field. I have been the best player in my field". This negative approach blocks my progress. "I have always failed in the past. I am a failure now. I am sure I will fail in the future". This approach is sure to land me in a state of psychological and emotional paralysis.

Acceptance

Acceptance of my present state with no prejudice is perhaps the first step to self-improvement. I need to make a list of my strengths, limitations, and liabilities. The first parameter could be imagination, innovation, focus, hard work, smart work, etc. My limitations could be related to my grammar, sentence formation, thinking speed, logic, etc. My liabilities could be related to inconsistency, intolerance, procrastination, denial, blaming, etc. Identification of these factors could give me a reality listing.

One Step at a Time

No matter I choose to run, brisk walk or slow walk, I take only one step at a time. My first focus is preferably on my strengths. By focusing on my hardworking, I can reduce inconsistency and procrastination.

Having realistic goals is very important for me. I can know about my achievable goals for "one day" when I analyze my previous performance and take the average. I focus all my efforts to achieve that goal. It takes time and patience. Persistence is not easy. It needs constant effort to stay in the present and work consistently. Today I might achieve only 30% of my target. But as I see, this is better than zero. In my next step, I focus on getting 50% of the expected results. I might end up at 35% or 40%. This process continues until I can reach my goals fully.

In the next step, I try to achieve my goals within the 24 hours span. I may get 30% success. I continue without worrying too much about results. I can realize them with time, without my being conscious of them.

Fear is My Best Friend

Fear has two distinct flavors, realistic and unrealistic. The first type is related to anything that could cause harm to me. If I don't work, I won't get paid. This realistic fear makes me work hard. Unrealistic fear is born out of uncertainty and confusion. "What if I fall sick tomorrow? What if I don't get orders tomorrow? What if my customers don't pay me for my work? What if I lose my consistency? What if my work quality goes down? What if I fail?" are some of the unrealistic fears I might have. I need to make a list of them. I might not be able to categorize them right now. Soon the serenity will dawn on me if I accept these fears.

When I understand my fears, I can learn how to live with them. I have heard of many people talking about freedom from fear. I have not been able to get that sense of freedom, at least not in the long run. My fear-factor is something that keeps coming back in one or the other form. My personal experience is I could not fight them. I couldn't even run away from my fears. So I took them as my friends and started learning from them.

Action is the Key

Whenever I have to face the fear of failure, I get up and start working. Slowly fear takes the backseat. It doesn't go away. But at least it won't dominate my thoughts. If I am afraid to my apartment owner (When I am unable to clear bills), I talk to him and borrow time. Meanwhile, I start working on what is required to earn money and pay the bill.

Psychological factors can affect my thinking ability to the greatest extent. Peer pressure, competition, survival, sustenance, and progress keep haunting my mind consistently. I get bogged down by my own stress factors. I have written this article in the first person so it doesn't sound like an advice. Personally speaking, nobody might like to be advised. By using the first person I hope I could create a better sense of relevance to the readers. What I have written here comes from my personal experience.

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