The Choices You Make, Make You

This certainly seems rather obvious and hard to argue with. So why do a majority of people prefer to play the blame game for their lot in life? If I had a dollar for every time I have talked to an athlete or an athlete's parent who told me they could have been a professional athlete but, 'their coach didn't promote them,' or 'screwed them over,' I'd be retired already. Other often repeated 'reasons' people fail to achieve their goals include: "The timing was not right," "I didn't have enough time," "My circumstances changed," and "I just lost interest."

I often tell my clients that it is a lot quicker to go from failure to success than it is to go from excuses to success. You only have a limited amount of time and energy so how you choose to use both will determine who you become and where you end up. Making mistakes and failing are an inevitable part of life for all of us (except Kim Jong-un). Perfection is an attractive concept but it does not exist in reality.

If you are able to view mistakes and failure as simply part of the process, you won't feel the need to make excuses when they occur. Learning to accept this fact and take responsibility for all of your choices and actions leads to a secure feeling inside of you and eliminates the need for blame and excuses.

I also tell my clients that, 'Blame is just a way to temporarily discharge your own pain and discomfort in situations.' I suppose it is part of human nature to go for the easy short-term relief provided by blame and excuses, but the truth is it does not take as much work as you may think to create a new habit of taking responsibility. Best of all the pay-off will include relief of substantial pain and discomfort for the rest of your life as well as increased performance and success in all of your endeavors.

Creating a habit of taking responsibility will not assure your success in any of your endeavors. However, I can guarantee that until you do create this habit you will never perform anywhere near your peak levels. Think of excuses and blame the same way you (hopefully) think of heroin. It may make you feel better initially, but it won't be worth the damage it does to you over time. When was the last time you (or anyone you know) used heroin to enable themselves to perform at the highest level?

The Dalia Lama said it best: "When you think everything is someone else's fault, YOU will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, YOU will learn both peace and joy.

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