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Dr. Romance on Patterns of Change

Dr. Romance writes:

I've been dealing with a lot of unwanted changes, and it's not easy. Losses, disappointments, changes - we all struggle when life doesn't go our way. Why is it so hard to handle change? Then there are the changes we want to make, fight hard to make - losing weight, giving up smoking, being more organized. Why is it so hard to create change?

The answer is patterns -- human beings are hardwired to seek out patterns and operate according to them. Every waking moment we are bombarded by overwhelming floods of data, infinite numbers of choices, confusing and conflicting information. Sheer survival depends upon your brain being able to sort through all of this every minute. The ingenious solution, built right in to your brain and nervous system, is the ability to operate according to patterns.

Your brain automatically searches and identifies many kinds of patterns. Patterns of sight mean that you can identify the chair from the table, the dining room from the bedroom, whether you see them in their three-dimensional form, or see a photograph, or even see the drawing created by your six-year-old. A table on a canvas by Van Gogh or Picasso is recognizable even though the perspective is skewed and the colors are strange. It still fits the pattern of table. Kinesthetic patterns mean you can reach for a utensil, pot or dish in the kitchen without even looking where you reach, or grab your toothbrush in the bathroom before you're really awake. A combination of kinesthetic and visual patterns means you can drive the familiar drive to work without even thinking about it and if you get a new job or move, you'll find yourself taking the old route if you don't pay attention.

The stress of paying attention is one of the major reasons why patterns are important. Research shows that moving to a new home is one of the most stressful experiences you can have, right up there with the death of a loved one. This doesn't appear to make sense -- since moving to a new home is usually a desirable thing -- until you think about patterns. All those kinesthetic, visual patterns have suddenly changed -- the pots, dishes and your toothbrush (not to mention the bathroom) are all in different places. So is the furniture. You're tripping over chairs that seem to be in the wrong places. You have to think every minute of the drive to work, because the route is unfamiliar. Each of these changed patterns represents a lot of stress.When you're operating within old, familiar patterns, you don't need to think about what you're doing. Your body is wired to do familiar things without having to think about them. This leaves your mind free to wander, and to de-stress.

As I write this, I'm touch-typing. I don't have to think about the spelling of the words, or which finger hits which key. here was a time, of course, when I couldn't type even one word without hunting and pecking for each letter, but (in the beginning) painstaking practice and repetition, and now many years of experience, mean that I can even talk to someone else while I type. Repetition and practice made the patterns part of my consciousness.

If you want to change a habit (for example, to develop a habit of wearing your car seat belt) you develop a pattern that incorporates the change (I'll get in my car, put the key in the ignition, fasten my seat belt, and then start car.) At first, you may even need a written note to remind you of the pattern, but if you consistently follow your new routine, it will be a pattern in a week or two. If you do it for several weeks, it will become ingrained enough to feel automatic you won't need to think about it at all. Changing even really tough patterns, like smoking, is possible if you break it down into each smoking habit you have (after dinner, at work, hanging out with friends) and develop a replacement pattern for each one (chew mint gum after dinner, take a short, brisk walk during work breaks, hang out in non-smoking places with friends,) and follow each new pattern consistently until all are changed. Having something different to focus on makes the psychological withdrawal easier.

Here's something that will help: We have a brain mechanism psychologists call "preparatory set." It's one of the mechanisms the mind uses to sort through the enormous amounts of data that flow in daily, and keep it manageable. By writing down the things you want to accomplish and making them clear, you can "program" that mechanism. Once programmed, it directs your attention to certain events and occurrences. To illustrate: When you decide you want a certain car (an SUV, a hybrid, or a Mini) you see that model everywhere, you notice every one on the freeway, you see every ad or commercial. Preparatory set works that way. Once you program it with your goals (visualizing in addition to writing is most effective) you will automatically be more aware of certain events, opportunities and people who can be helpful. You'll also be more clear about what you want, and this will sneak into your conversation and your general attitude, where others can pick up on it. It's not really magic, unless you believe as I do, that the mind is a miracle in itself.

For example, to make it easy to include easy exercise in your life, write down your goal (I will walk an extra half hour a day) and picture yourself walking and enjoying it -- perhaps you picture parking a few blocks away (where it's cheaper) and walk the rest of the way, or get off the bus or subway one stop early, or walk to that nearby restaurant (or art museum) for lunch, or take the stairs instead of the elevator when you go to the Xerox, or take a sandwich to a nearby park, or take the dog for a bit longer walk than usual before and after work. If you picture yourself walking and enjoying it, you'll soon find that you're noticing more new and different ways you can add in walking without stressing about it.

Change will still take work, but using this mental trick will help you reach your goals easier and faster.


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60+Good Morning Motivational Quotes



Morning is the early part of the day; it is also referred to as the time when the sun rises until noon. It can also be further defined as the period of time between midnight and noon. If you check this time or period in which the morning time falls in, you will realize that mostly the body system of every human is at the start of its rise. This very time is one of the best periods in which it is universally recommended that we should extend our feelings to those we love so much.

It is now high time that we begin to text our loved ones these fantastic messages in order to show them how much they mean to us. Has the story of our article titled "What is the meaning of love and romantic love quotes" reached you? What about 60+ romantic good morning text for him? Howdy... please enjoy this latest one.

Good morning inspirational quotes

  1. Every day is a new opportunity to achieve what we have missed the previous days. It is a great joy to wake up early in the morning to see the light of a fresh morning time.
  2. You will not achieve great things in life until you begin to understand that it takes your determination for God to bless your hustles. Always remember that God is not a supporter of the lazy ones. Good morning!
  3. Hello, friend I hope you had a sweet dream yesterday? This is the beginning of a new day for every successful person. Always do your best to become the best in everything you are doing. Good morning!
  4. The most successful people are those ble life has been created.
  5. The best of the people are those who believe in what they can do and never for once get discouraged by what the negative people say. They are very good at what they believe in because they work hard to know it better.
  6. Always find a reason to put smile on your face, the brightness of your face signifies that you have no grudges with anyone. Have a blessed morning!
  7. It is a good thought to always have confidence in ourselves. The most intelligent man on earth have one thing in common with you; ability to think and apply wisdom.
  8. Good morning my best friend, I just want to greet you with this piece of advice; be consistent in whatever you are doing, never lost hope and always be focus.
  9. I hope you had a fantastic night rest? Rise up and go out to do the needful, every good person have a lot of story to tell about patience. Good morning!
  10. I am pleased to tell you that, those who ignore themselves are the most bankrupt people I have ever met in life; try and love yourself by doing the right thing at the right time.

Good morning breakfast quotes

  1. I hope you have taken your breakfast? It is a fuel for the stomach of great people. It gives you energy to do the necessary things at work.
  2. Whenever you intend to be smart at work, always take your breakfast so that you can be strong to deliver the best of your work.
  3. I love the breakfast so much because it gives me a reason to love myself and the early morning. I recommend that you shouldn't joke with your breakfast because it is healthy.
  4. Love yourself by replenishing your body worn-out tissue through rich food. Breakfast is never a last option. Good morning!
  5. Feel good about yourself and be organized at anything you are doing. Never forget one thing-breakfast, it is very important to start your day with it. Good morning!
  6. Always fill your stomach with the best of recommended food in the morning-it brings energy to your body for good performance at work.
  7. I smile a lot in the morning and the reason is because I never joke with my breakfast. Do not delay your breakfast.
  8. The reason why I am shining is because I eat my breakfast in time, I never delay it because it is great for a brighter day ahead. Good morning!
  9. Who else can compete with you at work if not a smiling face? Remember that a hungry man is an angry man. Put smile on your face by eating your breakfast.
  10. Taking of breakfast before going for work is great because it calms your head down and makes your body humble to do work.

Good morning health quotes



  • Health is wealth; always take care of yourself and the family so as to avoid sickness. Keep your environment clean always. Good morning!
  • A happy home is a home that is always clean and free of germs. Encourage the cleaning of your environment all the time to save more money. Good morning!
  • A home that is free of sickness is mostly free of sorrow; always find a way to prevent air pollution around your environment. Good morning!
  • The best and the smartest people on health are always healthy; they take their drug as prescribed regularly and make some aerobic to boost their immune system.
  • Always stay in a clean environment free of diseases and germs. The wealthy ones constantly avoid contamination.
  • I am healthy and fresh today because I listen to what my Doctor says. I have a shining skin because I hear what my Dermatologist has to say.
  • Good morning to you, I hope you had a wonderful night sleep? Please always empty your drainage and sleep with mosquito net. Remember, malaria kills?
  • Be careful how you share sharp objects-or better still avoid the sharing of sharp objects to prevent yourself and your family from HIV-AIDS.
  • Always go for medical check as described by your family Doctor. Sometimes, small issues about our health status may develop into unbearable issues.
  • Take your drugs as prescribed by your Doctor, never engage in drug abuse. Those who are careful about their health live healthy.

Good morning prayer for a friend



  1. This morning is a special period for the acceptance of prayers. I am begging God at this moment to bless you with an everlasting grace. Good morning!
  2. Every day comes with a special opportunity for us to embrace; I beseech the Lord to bring the grace of the opportunity to your way.
  3. The sun rises and sets by the power of the Lord, I pray that the Lord should uplift you this year and stops you from falling down forever.
  4. It is my pleasure to show you how much you mean to me. I pray that your entire desires in life be settled for good. May your day last with permanent joy.
  5. You are a great person and as such may the Lord give you a wonderful breakthrough in life; I ask the Lord to bless you.
  6. It is not always easy to move on in life with poverty, may the Lord enrich your pocket from this moment until the end of time. Good morning!
  7. I beseech the Lord to grant you all your heart desires and bless you with endless joy. I ask the Lord to fill your home with light and continue to bless you with righteous children. Good morning!
  8. Every day is an opportunity to get great things done in life, may the Lord open the way for your success I this blessed month. Good morning!
  9. No one understands how coconut got its water, may the Lord keep your secret away from the wrong people and give you maximum protection for the rest of your life.
  10. Love yourself and always find a reason to put smile on your face all the time. I pray that the Lord should ease your affairs in life-good morning!

Sweet and cute good morning sayings



  1. The early bird is never disappointed, because it takes its time to go early to the place of opportunity and explore more food than the lazy birds, good morning!
  2. The brightness of the day is shining for you to have a reason to put smile on your face. You are a special star so always put smile on your face.
  3. Have a splendid morning time because it gives a special reason to do the right things that matters. Take good care of yourself. Good morning!
  4. Life is a wonderful place to live and morning time is an opportunity to praise the Lord for waking you up to the brightness of the day. I just want to say, god morning!
  5. Live your life and the awaiting opportunities will find your pant down. You must understand that everything about this life demands determination to achieve.
  6. Be the best you want to be and always understand that you can become whatever you want to be. You are a champion; never think that everything is impossible. The one who wins is the one who thinks he can.
  7. The day is bright and shining promising a fulfilled day ahead. You are a wonderful person so always be strong to carry out your work in life.
  8. The smiling face did not just begin; truly there are lots of stories behind it. No matter what happened always stay positive and never give up hope in life-verily, after adversity come prosperity.
  9. After the dawn comes the sunshine. After tears come joy and after stress comes health. You are as you think you are. So always stay focused and be optimistic in everything you are doing!
  10. When you wake up in the morning, find a reason to praise the Lord for bringing you back alive after a short death called sleep. The day is bright so enjoy yourself till you never can enjoy it again.

Good morning coffee quotes for him or her



  1. Morning coffee is sweet begins it warms the body and boost your memory to perform better jobs. I hope you have sipped a cup of coffee today?
  2. I love the coffee cup because in it is a coffee itself. It gives me a sound energy to want to work all through the day.
  3. Cup of coffee on my table, three slices of bread on my tray. I love myself so I love taking the best food in the world.
  4. You are so special so I am advising that you should never forget to take a cup of coffee. Feel free to do your work because the coffee will still do its own. Good morning!
  5. ..Tasting great! I love the coffee. It is my good friend and I start a great day with it. You are missing dude, hope you will try it one day? Good morning!
  6. You must know that those who take coffee are the special ones. Why not sign up on coffee squad and get your job done as soon as possible? Good morning!
  7. You have a great day ahead but without motivation and inspiration, you won't get it done as you want. Good morning!
  8. When you rise in the morning, give thanks to the Lord and get a cup of coffee to start your day. Meet me and let's go up to the ladder. Good morning!
  9. It is a new day, so relax your body with a cup of coffee before you start the early morning work. This gives you a nice reason to be happy. Good morning!
  10. Get up every morning and determine to do your best to achieve the best in life; have a cup of coffee and find joy in whatever you are doing. Good morning!

Wonderful good morning quotes for her


  1. Today is a new day, whatever you believe in, try and get it done as quickly as possible. Don't feel troubled about things that come your way, the truth is that you will always find solution to every problem. Have a wonderful morning!
  2. Feel good about yourself and always think critically before you comment. Always remember that the wise men hardly make mistakes. Good morning!
  3. Be good at your own end and always care about people around you-do not spoil people's heart with your speech and always find a way to always put smile on your face. Have a wonderful morning!
  4. Every morning is special, so take advantage of the opportunity that comes with it. It is my pleasure to say hello to you-have a wonderful morning.
  5. Plan your way to the top and set a goal that makes you lose patient to sleep in the night. You are a champion, so have a wonderful morning!
  6. Always start the day with a graceful smile, put all the past sorrow aside and face the challenges that come your way. Good morning!
  7. You are a bright angel so make every day count and never let every opportunity to pass you by. No matter how difficult a matter could be, when you send a longer time on it, it becomes easy.
  8. Good morning, I hope you had a splendid night? It is my pleasure to reach out to you. I just want to say, good morning!
  9. Every morning is a wonderful opportunity, grab it and feel good about yourself. No matter how bad the day may be, always stay strong. Good morning!
  10. Meeting you was nice and been your friend make everything more interesting. I hope you had a wonderful night? I am wishing you a wonderful morning!


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Emotions and Essential Oils



Essential Oils are more than just lovely smells, there is actually a therapeutic process going on in your nose which affects the limbic system in the brain; the area that governs the emotion center. Our nose is the fastest way to reach the limbic system.

As David K Hill, Chairman, Scientific Advisory Committee for doTerra says " Essential oils are simply a mixture of volatile aromatic compounds. These compounds are able to interact with the olfactory (smell) receptors in the nose. Our sense of smell can have a profound effect on our emotions, and simply inhaling the aroma can elicit an emotional response. The smell receptors located on the upper surface of the nasal cavity make direct links with the limbic system of the brain, where the scent is perceived and processed."

And from there the brain sends signals via the nervous system to other parts of the body, so smelling essential oils is just as beneficial as ingesting them and rubbing them on your skin. This can literally be done by smelling the bottle or diffusing them in a diffuser.

Healing

Essential oils can assist us with our emotional healing, but they can't do the work for us. According to the book, Emotions and Essential Oils, here are five stages of healing with Essential oils.

1. Assisting us in healing the physical body

2. Assisting us in healing the heart

3. Assisting us in releasing limiting beliefs

4. Increase spiritual awareness and connection

5. Inspire the fulfilment of our life's purpose

In this book there is a description for each oil and I have found them to be so spot on with what I have experienced and felt after smelling the oils.

For eg:

• Cedarwood is the Oil of Community

• Clary Sage is the oils of Clarity and Vision

• Douglas Fir is the Oil of Generational Wisdom

• Frankincense is the Oil of Truth

Tools

There are many tools out there now to guide you, apart from intuition, with Emotions and Essential Oils, there's also an app for your phone called Essential Emotions Reference. You can buy along with the book a wheel chart you can use to select what emotion you are feeling or want to feel, and the corresponding oil you can use.

I have even tried a therapy where when you get in touch with a memory you want to clear, you smell the bottle until the memory fades or changes intensity.

doTerra even have a set of oil blends that target emotions: Peace, Motivate, Passion, Cheer, Console, Forgive.

So Essential Oils aren't just lovely smells, they actually are emotionally therapeutic.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Emotions-and-Essential-Oils&id=9785325

Establishing Routine (By Linda Hancock)

I remember when I had my first child. We lived in a basement suite in Tisdale, Saskatchewan. Our landlady told me that the secret to having healthy and happy babies is to keep their stomachs full and their bottoms dry. That sounds simple but there was a lot of wisdom in that advice.

Babies don't care if they are dressed in designer fashions. They can sleep through a great deal of noise and usually handle being passed around from one admiring person to the other.

The problem is when they start growing. If they don't have a routine or reasonable expectations, they can grow up to be sick and irresponsible adults.

Many times, my clients tell me about their lives, and I am sad for them. Watching movies until the crack of dawn messes up their whole day. When they sleep until noon, they miss sunlight and breakfast. It often takes them until almost suppertime to get into a mood for leaving the house. When they don't have any planned activities, they might spend hours listening to television or just thinking about negative things.

When I grew up we had news reports that lasted about twenty minutes. The newspaper reported events in other countries long after they had occurred. Now we have twenty-four-hour channels that spout opinions rather than news. We watch natural disasters or holds ups as they are happening. Even though these events occur in different countries, they enter our minds and can cause us to feel depressed, discouraged and hopeless. Turn the television off!

It can be difficult to fall asleep but if you are tired and not napping, sleep comes easier. It might take a few days to get into a habit but the best thing you can do is set an alarm for early morning. Get out of bed, eat breakfast and don't take naps. Once you have done this for a few days you will find that you have established a healthier pattern for your life.

Get out of the house! Winter can be difficult for some but going for a walk or doing volunteer work will feed your soul and help her to feel better.

Think about what has been good for you in the past and start doing that again. Were you a person who enjoyed doing crafts, baking or sewing? What were the thinks that you enjoyed as a teenager? Did you like to swim, play a sport or collect stamps? What are the goals that you have had but haven't started yet? Would you like to work on your family tree or learn a language?

Well, as they say, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life". Instead of just sleep at odd hours, eating poorly and thinking negatively, make a plan that will help you to establish a routine and find a purpose.


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Trusting Without Reservation


Almost all of us believe we are worthy of trust. But, trust is a fragile illusion that is easily broken. When you learn not to trust, you cannot feel betrayed. Trust is a choice, a belief. It is a verb and a noun. Trust is imaginary. Trust exists only in our minds. Take another look at the short list of "trustworthy" people and professions I suggested in the beginning of this piece.

Trust no one, but have the love for everyone. You can love them with all of your heart, but do not trust them. You and only you know your own heart. Trust only your own intuition. You will make mistakes, but you will not feel betrayed. Someone here please tell me I'm wrong! Better yet, show me where I'm wrong. Even better yet... prove it!

I have seen people close their hearts after, because they had been hurt, and this is not a wise thing to do, and this was done out of fear of being hurt again. People do not understand the Power they have. Life and Death flow from the tongue.Many folks are very sensitive and their Trust is broken they feel betrayed, if your Trust is broken by someone it is their failure to understand karma, it is not your fault for being too Trusting. Love is not a weakness, and neither is Karma.

Image result for the importance of trust in a relationshipwww.askideas.com Trusting someone means that you think they are reliable, you have confidence in them and you feel safe with them physically and emotionally. Trust and love go hand in hand in a relationship.

Trust should always be mutual in a relationship. It's very important to trust your partner and to be trusted in return. In fact, trust is what keeps a relationship away from complications. In spite of differences and arguments, trust assures you that your partner loves you.

Love makes you feel special, but it's trusting that keeps you strong. Trust keeps insecurities at bay. When you trust each other, you know that you can fight all problems. You feel safe and invincible being with your partner.

When you trust a person, you don't need to explain everything you do. On the flip side, when there is no trust, you can see the relationship getting into trouble. Trust helps you avoid being selfish in a relationship. When you trust someone, you allow them to have their personal time and space, and most importantly, a life apart from you. And, the best thing is that you don't feel worried and insecure because of it.

In a relationship, there can be many obstacles. At times, when we even tend to fall out of love for silly reasons, trust ensures we get back and love again. Unless you trust someone, you'll not be able to let go of hurt and feel the same as before. There are times you want to give up and walk away, but since you trust the person you love, you will feel like starting over in spite of the problems. Trusting a person takes time.

It is incredibly frustrating and causes unnecessary drama. So, knock down those walls and learn to let people in. They aren't so bad. Honesty is the best policy, right?

We engage ourselves in meaningful relationships that we value. Trust precedes love. We think that love can save us from emotional roller coasters. It is the glue to every gap and difference.


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Attention Women In Medicine: Wrap Up Your Day In A Powerful Way (By Dr Stephanie Wellington)


Women in medicine have a full agenda. Once your day begins you are on the go, whether it is clinical responsibilities or catching up with things at home. The high demands of a life as a doctor, nurse practitioner, or nurse with little time to regroup and re-energize contributes to a buildup of stress, overwhelm, and feeling like you are on a hamster wheel.

As important as it is to set an intention for the beginning of each day, it as crucial to set the intention to wrap up your day.

For women in medicine, wrapping up your day brings closure to the career part of your life as you re-enter the personal part of your life as a mother, wife, and the other roles you have. It is important to become mindful of the energy you absorb when working in high acuity, high demand settings of medicine. We are exposed to patient stressors, colleague complaints, and overwhelm as the clock ticks and patients still need to be examined and administrative responsibilities completed. There are also things we trouble shoot that are beyond our scope of practice. A wrap-up routine at the end of day releases that high stress energy. It honors your strengths as you move into your next role. It is a stress management tool that lends itself towards experiencing harmony in your life.

Here is are strategies my clients and I use.

Celebrate the everyday wins

When you have dedicated your life and career to serving others, it is imperative to focus on the cycle of giving and receiving. This shifts you from feeling like you are always giving and sacrificing and opens you to acknowledging what you receive. Celebrating your daily wins is one quick way to shift your energy. Ask any woman in medicine and she can tell you what she's done for the day. She often follows that with a long list of all the things left undone. Pause. Take a break and bask in the progress, little or big, that happened today.

  • Maybe it was spending an extra 10 minutes with a patient and their family without worrying about how it will throw off the schedule.
  • Maybe it was staying focused on your higher purpose as you brainstormed solutions for today's challenges in the unit.
  • Maybe it was a few minutes of quality time with your family before heading off to the hospital.
Wrap up your day by celebrating what has gone well today.

Learn from the lessons

Medical professionals tend to be perfectionists and our own worse critic. We do most things ourselves because we want it done right. When it's not done right, we call it failure. Within the failure are the lessons. Lessons such as:

  • How to honor and respect a colleague's point of view.
  • How to delegate to the right team member, then release it and allow the end result to manifest.
  • How to acknowledge a patient's ability to make the best decision for himself or herself and their family, particularly when it differs from our own.
From a place of lessons we are open to learn from others rather than judge and condemn. Wrap up your day in the hospital or office with the question, "What have I learned today that benefits me, my team, and my patients?"

Create a transition point to leave it all behind.

Confession. I am as guilty as my clients. During the commute home, I would replay my day, with all its stressors, frustrations, and things left incomplete. My inner critic had free reign to replay the day. The more I stayed in this space the less available I was for my children when I arrived home. Enjoying life was just beyond my reach. The shift came when I decided to put an end to my work day and move into my home life with ease and grace.

I created the transition point. The transition point is the place along my commute where I move out of doctor mode and into "Me" mode. Me as the woman, the mother, the daughter, and the other roles in my life. As a woman in medicine I lead the team, digest diagnostic lab tests and clinical data, and communicate with families about their newborns in the NICU. In "Me" mode I get to switch gears and lessen the demands of my life. I can say 'Yes' to top priority items and 'Not Yet' to less pressing items in favor of time with my children and things that bring more joy to my life. My transition point was a bridge that I crossed every day on my way from the hospital. Before approaching the bridge I gave myself permission to replay the day. Initially the replay was from a place of stressing about all that I had done and all that was left to do. Then I went deeper and looked for the lessons. Once I approached the bridge I was thankful for the lessons of the day and then released them.


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Reaping the Benefits of Meaningful Work (By Estra Roell)

"Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out, it's not merely benign or 'too bad' if we don't use the gifts that we've been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being. When we don't use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle. We feel disconnected and weighted down by feelings of emptiness, frustration, resentment, shame, disappointment, fear, and even grief." ~ Brené Brown

Whether you work for someone else or are self-employed, purpose and meaning are essential to your happiness and well-being. Research has shown most people find meaningful work is actually more important to them than the salary they receive or the job title.

What is Meaningful Work?

Meaningful work is about more than just doing a job to collect a paycheck. What gives our work meaning is doing something that serves something or others beyond ourselves.

What's meaningful is unique to each individual. Some people can find meaning in their work by simply shifting their perspective. For work to be meaningful, you need to understand the "why" behind your work. Try thinking beyond what you're doing to who or what is helped or enriched by what you do. In what ways is your work important?

For many, it's about matching their passions, talents and interests with the tasks they perform at work. What do you love to do? What are you good at doing? What engages you? Where your passions and talents intersect, you'll find meaning.

Meaningful work will always be in alignment with your values, so it's important to understand what you hold as your top values. Take a look at how your career does or doesn't reflect the values you hold. If you work for a company, do their values align with yours? A disconnect between your values and the workplace values destroys any sense of purpose and meaning.

"A meaningful career is one where we feel an authentic connection between the work we do and a broader life purpose beyond the self." ~ Jory MacKay

The Benefits of Meaningful Work

When your work is meaningful:

  • You're charged with more energy because what you're doing matters to you and you know it benefits others. You have a sense of purpose.
  • You're making a contribution to the larger whole in some way, which enhances your levels of satisfaction.
  • Your ability to perform at your highest levels is supported.
  • You're spending your time in work that aligns with your values.
  • You're more engaged with your work, so job satisfaction rises.
  • You're more excited to get to work each day.

When It Goes Beyond Meaning

Sometimes work can be meaningful, but other factors interfere with the satisfaction one would expect. I experienced that in my career as a lower elementary Montessori teacher when there was a management change in the school. Teachers were being asked to do more paperwork, which could have been accomplished in a more streamlined fashion. Input from teachers on many issues weren't valued. The entire work environment became more restricted, so it left little room for innovation.

When the work environment grates against your personal style, it erodes job satisfaction, even when doing meaningful work.

Be aware of your own work style and see where you can negotiate some changes. There may also be ways you can find the wiggle room to create more freedom to work according to your own style. If not, it may be time to consider a different environment.

What is meaningful to you? I invite you to comment below to share your thoughts on what you find meaningful in your work, or what you envision as a meaningful career.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Reaping-the-Benefits-of-Meaningful-Work&id=10376696

How to Turn Life's Lemons Into Lemonade

This article is a shift in terms of focus. Although relevant for the fields of business development and growth, the theme of this article is on personal development before business development.

I've always been a huge fan of sales gurus and personal growth experts like Zig Ziglar, Earl Nightingale, Norman Vincent Peale, Dale Carnegie, etc. While initially thinking these guys were full of 'it' and irrelevant; now, with time and experience having matured me to a reasonable level (I hope), I've come to not only attest to truths that these guys and others live by and teach, but also their beliefs and wisdom are very relevant and timeless.

One of the core truths taught and deeply ingrained into my subconscious is the following: failures in life will either strengthen and motivate you to grow and develop or they have the very real ability to break you down.

What do I mean when I say failures in life? Well, quite simply, these are the moments in our lives that the results and outcomes come totally different and often more severe than we had anticipated. Whether it's a job loss, divorce, eviction, bankruptcy, failed job interview, a blown investment, or being defrauded by someone, we all face these challenges at one time in life or another.

The key that I've learned about these negative life events is that you have A CHOICE in how you respond. The thing that keeps most of us in 'ruts' of negativity, isolation, and hopelessness is that we allow ourselves to be motivated by fear in a wrong way. Rather than thinking about how worse and severe a negative life event can become, why not choose to be motivated by the fear of the situation to take hold of hope. Choose to take a strong hold of hope and never let go no matter how bad it hurts or feels.

Now here's another underlying truth in being motivated by the fear of negative life events: don't labor your mind or put a heavy burden on yourself for solving your problems overnight; instead, relax, rest, and remain positive. What I've learned and continue to grow in is that more than likely the answer needed to resolve the problem(s) is right under your nose or floating somewhere in your mind. How do these 'uh huh' moments happen? Truly in the most odd ways possible to be completely honest. There's no secret formula (or at least one that I've found that works) or secret sauce that induces these moments, but here's one way to put yourself in the state of mind to increasing their frequency: relax, live life, serve others well, listen more than you speak, forgive completely, and love sincerely.


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Criticism Nourishes A Man's Growth Without Destroying His Roots

Criticism is really negative. It can be so easy to judge people by their faults. When we condemn another person, we are actually casting judgment. Normally, the reason why we criticize others is that we don't want them to be the first one to look at our faults.

However, if criticism is taken objectively, we can turn it into an inspiration. When someone criticizes us, it means they want to give us feedback on what we're doing. It means providing a room for an opportunity to learn more.Take a moment to think before you respond to what they're saying.

It helps us become stronger. If we always think we're right but don't get feedback from anyone else, then it doesn't mean that what we're doing is good. Honest opinions will tell us exactly how to get away from those bad practices towards the good ones. Easier said than done, right? This can be particularly difficult when we're deeply involved but, if we can take a step back, we might see how to improve ourselves and avoid any negative impact.

The right kind of criticism can give you an advantage. Do not react harshly or resort to violence. Use positive language to arrive a win-win solution. The language you use in responding to a criticism is important. Try to avoid getting into an argument. Instead, turn the exchange into a discussion about how to resolve the problem. Turn your words into action to show that you can listen to feedback, respond in the correct way and still be productive.

Don't take it personally if someone doesn't immediately like us or even our work. Even if we feel we're being criticized unfairly, don't retaliate with an extreme reaction or else you cannot repair the damage. It can also harm our reputation. The best we can do is to learn from them. This might give us an avenue to change. But never do it to please other people but do it for ourselves.

There are times that the criticism is already too personal and below the belt. More likely than not, other just want to destroy our resolve. People are by nature subject to commit mistakes and it's important to remember to not be offended by someone's remarks. Take a criticism on board and not respond as though it's a personal attack. Make it work to our advantage or, if all else fails, leave with our reputation intact.

Good criticism is rare. It can take a long time to find people who know how to provide useful feedback, instead of simply telling what's wrong with you.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Criticism-Nourishes-A-Mans-Growth-Without-Destroying-His-Roots&id=9774783

Noticing Positives


We are living in a world that can be scary and full of unknowns. Never before has there been anything exactly like the COVID-19 pandemic that has been terrorizing the entire world. Governments have followed recommendations of researchers and health experts in ways that have changed our entire lifestyles. At the same time, however, I have noticed that there are many, many positives that are occurring every day.

Following are some of the things that people tell me they have been enjoying:

  1. Time - Being required to respect physical distancing and working from home for those who can, has allowed us much more time to pursue interests. Instead of having to attend meetings or appointments and drive children to events we can pursue other personal interests. Many people are investing the extra hours saved in hobbies, learning a language, reading, or exercising.
  2. Money - A large portion of the population have less money coming into the household but those who are on fixed incomes have told me that they are spending less than they did previously. Some of this, of course, is because businesses such as beauty shops and retail outlets are closed but being at home also means that there seems to be less interest in spending money. The government has been trying to fill the gaps with financial programs and we are also watching the stock market with the hope that it will rebound over time. It seems that everything we were used to has shifted.
  3. Skills - Being at home provides more opportunities to learn and use skills. Many family members are cooking and baking, renovating, starting seedings, doing their own hair or sewing - practical skills that our ancestors used for everyday survival. Before the pandemic our busy schedules often would encourage us to turn to others to do the things that we are now doing ourselves.
  4. Relationships - More time with those who live in your home can be positive - a time to communicate and share activities. Fortunately, we have social media sites and technology that allow us to stay close to loved ones who are living at a distance. Close proximity can also be stressful though and it is therefore important to schedule "alone" time.
  5. Reflection - Facing difficulties can led to assessment and realignment of values. When we are in isolated situations, we begin to think about what is really important in life. Most recently the ideas of health and loved ones top the list.
I know that there are many challenges that have been brought on by the pandemic. One of the most serious is that we do not have any clear idea about exactly how it will affect us and when it will end. It is therefore very important to drastically limit the input from television and internet as these can significantly increase stress. Instead focus on the things that you can do that will make today and your future more satisfying.

And remember to laugh as often as possible for laughter is good for the soul!


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The Goals You Set Are Not Promises But Commitments Towards Achievement


We Ought To Remain Open To Where Life Is Leading Us

There are no assurances of accomplishing our goals since they're not promises but a commitment towards achieving them. How does this idea appeal to you? You may well achieve your goals, however if you're unaware of your motives, it will have little bearing on your long-term happiness. As you know, setting goals is easy but staying committed to them when the going gets tough is another story. No doubt goal attainment is important to you, though success is seldom assured because circumstances change which may cause our goals to shift.

Can you identify with this where a goal you set changed along the way? I've coached countless individuals regarding their goals. To my knowledge, once they embarked upon the goal, the path to achieving it changed. It's not that the goal lost its power, rather they developed a greater insight on what they wanted to achieve along the way. Allow me to illustrate via personal example. Long ago when I started out, I aspired to be an internationally renowned speaker traveling the world giving keynote speeches. I had undertaken speaker training with various coaches and was speaking regularly to corporate companies and running public seminars and workshops. However, there came a point where I no longer felt as passionate about speaking as I once did. Instead I turned to writing more which had a greater impact on my message. I hired writing coaches and mentors to improve my writing and the more I ventured down this path, the more passionate I became. I published three books with internationally acclaimed authors writing the forewords. My point is, the process of achieving our goals will change and we ought to remain open to where life is leading us.

Can you identify with this story in your own life? Have you set out to achieve a goal and have it change along the way? If you accomplished it, was it better than your original goal? It's often said achieving our goals isn't as rewarding as the person we become. I can attest to the personal growth I experienced over the years and the lessons that pushed me out of my comfort zone and developed my strength of character. Setbacks and defeat have shaped my outlook, though there were times I considered giving up because I lost all hope. There was no money coming in and clients were cancelling, yet I remained committed because I believed in what I was doing. We don't know what we're capable of achieving when pursuing a goal, irrespective of how difficult it may be. In those times, our greatest growth will occur because we realise things aren't as bad as they seem.

Who We Become Because Of Our Actions

No doubt you have your own stories about uncertainty and giving up on a goal, career or project. What makes the story more compelling is the narrative that follows. For example, did you give up or find a way through it? It isn't so much about quitting or pushing ahead, but who we become because of our actions. The choices we make today either create a compelling future or one filled with regret and disappointment. Often, easy choices lead to a difficult tomorrow. That's why goals help us become clear on who we wish to become. The greater the goal, the more difficult it is to achieve and the greater your personal growth. Therefore we must examine our motives for pursuing our goals when we embark upon them. Furthermore, who we become when we accomplish our goals is something we ought to give our attention to. It's why I am drawn to the advice echoed by authors Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness who write in Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success: "There is nothing more gratifying or fulfilling than setting a goal on the outer boundaries of what we think is possible, and then systematically pursuing it. In a paradoxical twist, we are often at our best when we wholly immerse ourselves in the process of getting better."

Considering this, I'd like you to reflect on your current goals. Irrespective of where you are, spend time answering the following questions: Why is this goal important? What will achieving this goal bring to my life? Who will I become because of it? Does this goal improve my life and the lives of others? It is when we are intentional and purposeful about our vision that we are likely to achieve our goals and not lose enthusiasm along the way. It is what the British-American author and motivational speaker Simon Sinek identifies in his Golden Circle principle as understanding our WHY? If we want our goals to be a commitment towards achievements, we must do everything in our power to get clear on the goal, so as not to weaken its accomplishment.


https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Goals-You-Set-Are-Not-Promises-But-Commitments-Towards-Achievement&id=10049294

Shift Your Perspective (By Dr. Noelle Nelson)

How do you see yourself? As a hero or a victim? In any given life circumstance, you can see yourself either way.

I recently moved into my new home. As is often the case with a "new" home, that is to say new to me, although built in the mid 1960s, it has what is euphemistically referred to as a few "issues." As in, I was scheduled to leave town for work first thing Friday morning, and Wednesday night, both toilets in my house ceased to function. This mattered greatly, as the puppy-sitter who was booked to take care of my beloved dogs in my absence could not be expected to stay over-night without a functioning toilet, and it being a Holiday weekend, I would not be able to find a place to board them last-minute.

Hero or victim? First thought, victim! Of all the times for the toilets to fail, and not one, but both toilets! After frantic calls to plumbers not returning my call (more "victim"), worrying myself sick over "Now, what?! This is a disaster!"(yet more "victim") I took myself in hand, and gave myself a talking-to.

As in, "who would you like to be, Noelle?" A whiny victim, or a successful hero? Good question! Because, you see, I know from long experience, that a hero is simply someone who refuses to see a problem as unsolvable, and forges on until some kind of solution is unearthed. Sometimes that means being Captain Marvel and saving the world, sometimes it's just me figuring out a toilet situation.

Once I shifted my perspective, it dawned on me to contact the repair person who'd fixed some odds and ends; maybe he'd know a willing plumber. To my surprise, he turned out to be the willing plumber. Plus, he was up for a crack-of-dawn visit to the local home improvement center, purchasing two new guaranteed fully-functioning toilets--at a reasonable price, no less-- and installing them, all before I had to leave Friday morning. Whew.

Had I stuck with my "Woe is me, life is so unfair" position, I would not have continued trying to come up with a solution. It was only when I told myself that somehow I'd get this handled that the idea came to me to contact the repair person.

Next time you are up against what could easily be defined as a victim situation, challenge yourself to find your inner hero. You'll be surprised at just how innovative they (you) are.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Shift-Your-Perspective&id=10114470

Creating Positive Energy Out of the Crucible of Anger

Does anger poison your productivity and fuel stress?

When you mis-hear an important message due to a simmering resentment, how long does it take you to restore healthy communication?

All too often, unprocessed anger is a sinkhole for energy and time. Even chronic irritations are mud slicks just waiting to be slipped on. But you can relate to daily setbacks without losing your footing. In fact, I invite you to convert that sludge to vibrant, positive energy.

Creating Positive Energy from Sludgy Anger

What if you reframe your anger today as a useful signal that something needs to change? And then what if you promise yourself that you will grow to meet this important challenge? Keep that promise and you stand in your power.

When you embrace "the anger challenge" to solve underlying problems, you:

Re-access energy formerly mired in resentment.

Lower stress.

Raise contentment.

To enjoy these benefits, let's explore 3 essential tools for dismantling a common anger-based time trap - Blaming others for your lack of time.

Growing Beyond the Blame Game

Maybe nobody even knows you blame others for being short on time. Even if you're doing it silently, inside, it still paralyzes your productivity. And you feel like a victim all the time. Why not try out the following options instead?

1. Proactivity:

When you think, "This person takes too much of my time!" reframe that thought to:

"I give this person too much of my time."

What does it give you to forfeit this time? How would you like to change this equation? Start small to build muscle. Owning your role in your time shortage = owning your power. For maximum power, explore your ability to "change the dance" by changing just your steps. When you don't need anyone to cooperate with you, no one stands in your way.

2. Creativity:

To reframe your mental picture of your time, adopt the following mantra:

"I alone decide how I use my time."

Granted, you can't levitate out of traffic jams or force your way past the receptionist. But with creativity, you truly do determine the quality of your time. So how do you create the quality of your time? Count on creativity as your first resort when proactive negotiations won't alter a stagnant situation. Envision your upcoming day and anticipate logjams. Start brainstorming now so you meet setbacks with ingenuity and self-possession.

3. Relativity:

Many daily annoyances that sap energy and productivity are quite workable when viewed more broadly. Try these questions, to gain additional perspective:

How important will this seem in 5 days? 5 weeks? 5 years?

How might others' perspectives inform your options?

What mindsets create instant time abundance?

If you were your guardian angel, what advice would you give?

Remember, if your day were a treasure map, you'd discover valuable time hidden under your resentments. Dig deep, strike gold and celebrate your newfound time and energy!


https://ezinearticles.com/?Creating-Positive-Energy-Out-of-the-Crucible-of-Anger&id=10092561

Hit A Wall

Not again. I can't believe this is happening to me. Am I ever going to catch a break? I can't trust anyone.

Sometimes you just hit a wall. Other times you are making a choice to be a victim. It is your mindset that causes the murky waters. Yes, there will be times when life isn't fair. And I never wish to minimize anyone's suffering. But we need to ask ourselves if we are causing self imposed suffering? I think we all are guilty of this at some point in our lives. But so many have the "Not Again" attitude that is draining not only them, but everyone else around them.

I see this all too often in my practice. A new client comes in and tells me all the terrible things that are happening to them. I go into support mode and begin to line up some action items to stop the suffering. Over the course of a few months, no action items have been completed, let alone attempted. There is blame being cast at every person that is left in their life. And lastly, the slowly stop showing up for their appointments. It's hard to support someone who self identifies as being a life long victim.

There truly are victims out there. I have worked with the sexually assaulted, the sex trafficked and abandoned. People with completely horrific backgrounds. And believe it or not, some of these people carry a brighter disposition than many of us who take a bad day and make it much worse than it really is. We must train ourselves not to over react when we hit the wall. And because this is life, we are all going to hit the wall. The question is, do we stop driving? Or, do we just accept that there will be more walls in the future? I have found that acceptance overrides fear. Because if we fear, life begins to shrink all around us.

Why is it that some people focus while others fold when they hit the wall? It is all about the mindset. I love using the analogy that the greatest baseball players only get on base maybe 30 percent of the time. In other words, they get a hit 3 out of ten times at bat. While some see 30 percent as a failure, others see it as an accomplishment. Mindset. How do you see it?

We're going to have some bad days. We're going to pick some people who are not a good fit for us spirituality and or mentally. Train yourself to outlast the storm. Learn to let those people go who do not inspire you to level up. I promise it doesn't make you a bad person to want more for yourself. Just as you wouldn't purposely carry these bad days with you. Do not carry the uninspired in your inner circle. Because we're going to hit the wall. And when we do, the last person you want to try and lift you up is someone who is a life long victim.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Hit-A-Wall&id=9990415

Don't Scrimp on Self-Care - 5 Rituals to Help You Stay on Track


To embrace all that life has to offer, I advise you to move self-care to the top of your list every day.

Self-care is key to your success and satisfaction no matter what your goals and responsibilities may be.

We all know that life gets way too busy. Sometimes it gets so busy that you feel like you can't carve out ANY time to take care of yourself. But that's one of the biggest mistakes you can make.

The rituals you practice to take care of your mind, body, and spirit both soothe you and energize you. As a result, you experience more success and joy in your moments. This, in turn, transforms your feelings about time. And that affects everything you do.

5 Self-Care Rituals for you to build into your routine...

These rituals help you remember how important you are. When you practice them, the results are powerful and palpable.

Exercising relieves your stress and rejuvenates both your mind and body.

No matter where you start, getting the physical activity your body craves will revive your mood and enrich your life profoundly. Try a 10-minute walk to give your mind a rest or lift your spirits.

Whether you choose a brisk pace or a slow saunter to admire the landscape, consider it a gift to yourself to go for a brief stroll.

Re-acquaint yourself with the magic and exhilaration that nature provides.

Nothing relaxes and nurtures us like getting outdoors. Find time to sit on your porch and just watch the birds. Take a few minutes to care for a flower garden, or go for a walk in the park.

Take a Bath.

Bathing is one of the top self-soothing moments of your day. Rather than rush through your bath, take the time to soothe yourself by using a luscious soap or that new loofah sponge or bath puff. Light some scented candles, put on relaxing music, and take the time to fully enjoy your self-care time.

Find time to do the one thing you really love to do.

There's something so special and nourishing about making the time and space to do something that you feel excited about. Maybe you love to read. Or perhaps you like to sew or work with wood.

No matter what your beloved activity, figure out a way to make it happen. Even if it's every other day or once a week, an important part of self-care is doing what makes your heart sing.

Stay in touch with your feelings.

This is vital for the deepest and most meaningful self-care. When you're honest with yourself about how you feel, you'll have more peace and contentment inside.

Living your life based on your real feelings brings comfort and joy to your heart because you are in sync with yourself. It can be a challenge to be truthful with yourself and others about how you feel. But when you do, the rewards are great.

BONUS REMINDER: Self-care isn't a luxury! Re-frame it for yourself as a responsibility.

Engaging in activities and rituals that soothe you deep inside enriches your time and your life. A regular practice of self-care demonstrates that you recognize your own worth.

You'll deepen your experience of your moments and find more success and satisfaction by practicing soothing and energizing self-care rituals.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Dont-Scrimp-on-Self-Care---5-Rituals-to-Help-You-Stay-on-Track&id=9769398

Be Authentic - Love Who You Are, Flaws and All

You are one of a kind! No two people in the entire world are the same. Both good and bad past life experiences have made you who you are today. The good times have helped you learn happiness, compassion and love. Even the difficult and grueling times in life have taught you strength and perseverance. Be authentic to you and honor your self as the unique being that you are, flaws and all.

So often, we tend to compare ourselves to others and this is so unfair. By comparing yourself to others, you do yourself a huge injustice because again, no two people are the same. Only you know the life you've lived and the lessons in life that you've learned. No other person on this earth has lived and learned, or are still learning to follow their path exactly the way you are today.

As an example, in the car dealership world, you can pick up a new car for the same price as everyone else. There's not much wiggle room when there are about a hundred of them on the lot with only one or two tiny differences. But if you're looking for a used car, you can be certain that your going to pay top dollar because there are no two used cars that are the same and the dealership know this. They play on that so that you love this car and when there are no others like it here or down the road, you'll pay more for it. You as a person are no different. Treasure yourself, your uniqueness and even your flaws, because they too, are what make you who you are.

Be authentic and accepting of yourself, flaws and all. If there's something you truly want to change, then do it, but love and accept yourself in the process. No one has lived what you lived, so you've earned it! Truly, each of us is our own worst critic and it certainly takes courage and self-respect to accept ourselves completely. See your value, take responsibility for who you are, the way you live, and your own happiness!


https://ezinearticles.com/?Be-Authentic---Love-Who-You-Are,-Flaws-and-All&id=9943762

Message From the Universe: Laws of Attraction Are Bogus, Only If You Lack Belief

"Simply put, the reasons there are things you want that have not yet appeared in your life, is because you're just not used to thinking of yourself with them.

Sorry, kind of wish it was more complicated.

Just keep practicing,

The Universe"

The main idea is to combine thoughts, belief, feeling and action into the mix. You can have your dreams materialize if you only have one of these components. It is true that everything starts with the thought, which is great in itself but not enough to make things happen. You need to add the belief, because without belief, thoughts won't go very far. So let's say you do believe in them, which is certainly helpful, but if you don't feel you have already experienced it, regardless of where you stand at this present moment, your thoughts won't come to fruition. Now, if you add the action to all of that, you got it made. This is the perfect quadra-fecta for success to occur in your life. What many do not yet realize about the Laws of Attraction, which stipulate "Thoughts become things", lots of items were left out from the equation of success. Thoughts will NEVER become things without feeling, belief and action.

Sorry to be busting your bubble but the reality is that Laws of Attraction per its definition is just bogus. Yes, you read it right. Thoughts DO NOT BECOME things and many believer would say: "well yes, but we assume that everyone knows that we need to put in belief, action and feeling for it to happen". Sorry to say but when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. Do not assume that people know about the middle part to make thoughts come true. You can't believe in the laws of attraction without properly understanding the core and essence of it when it comes to the complex reality of how they become true. Do your research, and figure out what it really needs for you to experience the success, abundance, wealth and health you always wanted.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Laws-of-Attraction-Are-Bogus,-Only-If-You-Lack-Belief&id=9980413

The Empty Suitcase (By Ruth Bruegger)


It was a typical day in my life. I went to my storage unit to retrieve a suitcase for my husbands impending business trip. I reached above my head to pull down what I thought was an empty suitcase and then it happened.

The suitcase was full of things much to my dismay. This mistake sent me on a physical rehabilitation journey. At the time little did I know this is exactly what I needed to make me stop and reflect on my life.

When I was recovering from my injury I had time to think. I was thinking of my adult child who blamed me for her life. I was thinking about all my failures as a young parent. I was thinking about how my immaturity may have hurt my children growing up.

I was convinced that everything my adult children did that was not in their best interest was my fault. It must be because I made so many mistakes I could not count. I did keep a roof over the heads and food in their mouth.

I didn't call them in sick to school and I wouldn't let them skip school. I thought that having a clean room was right up there with determining whether you succeed or fail in life.

I was a fallen christian, a damaged human being who was not good enough for her own children. At twenty years old and divorced with four children in a time period where a woman was little more than a second class citizen I picked myself up.

I got an education and worked at odd jobs and finally full time. I learned to be strong or at least wear armor for the indignities that I put up with. I worked and lived in a mans world. I couldn't let anyone see me weak after all that was unacceptable.

My son was talking to me and I finally confided him my feelings and how proud I was that despite me how great of a parent he was. That is when he said a sentence that resonated to my soul.

He said, "Mom, you sure are carrying around a heavy empty suitcase, all of your children came from the same house, all of your children are adults and make their own decisions and their own mistakes."

Ironic he would use a suitcase as a metaphor. I was finally free that day to move forward and so my son set me free and became my friend.

Let it go whatever weighs you down and enjoy the present for that is all you have.


https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Empty-Suitcase&id=9327182

An Ounce Of Help Is Better Than A Pound Of Preaching

It's very difficult to console someone who is down. Criticism won't help but a listening heart can. Feeling what someone else is going through is already a comfort. Understanding and empathy is better than a pound of preaching because of a mistake. Blaming won't help either. Though, it's easier to find fault with other people but it's different when your compassion is what they needed.

Acknowledge that you understand the person's feelings. Sometimes people want to seek advice or a solution to their problem. But as seen, they usually want to vent their feelings. This is especially true for women. So, just listen. Let that the other person to talk, so that they can sort their feelings themselves; they may not even be able to articulate why they're feeling down, unless you draw it out of them.

Never minimize their pain or try to cheer them up. When faced with tears, sometimes we insist that whatever they're upset about is no big deal. Don't trivialize their experience, but walk through it with them. Put yourself on their shoes so that you can easily understand what they've been through. Words may not be that trivial but the way you respond to a situation matters.

Sometimes people don't want to talk and just want to be held in silence. They also just want to feel that they are not alone. So, your presence is already enough to comfort them. Even if you won't offer consoling words, the mere fact that you stay with them is already a relief.

In such circumstance, the person typically feels better after having shared the burden in their heart, and the pain fades eventually. Having someone who is willing to listen and will never judge you despite your flaws is a gift. How on earth I survive life's struggle if I don't have a friend whom I can lean on especially when I am so down and depressed.

Money is nothing compared to a friend who can help you without extending any monetary budget to you. If a problem is not resolve yet, she can offer you a solution to improve the situation without pressuring you to do it. She always listens. Even if she also has problems of her own.

With someone who's sad not because of an isolated event, but because they suffer from disappointments, just talk to her and listen. Excess rumination is not only ineffective in alleviating depressed feelings, it can also worsen them.

Scolding and preaching won't help a person who is in pain. Just let the person know that you understand what they're going through, that you're sorry they're going through it, and that your shoulder is always available for them to cry one and that's enough.


https://ezinearticles.com/?An-Ounce-Of-Help-Is-Better-Than-A-Pound-Of-Preaching&id=9774780