How to Work With Demotivation (When You Just Don't Want To... )

We all face situations in life we don't like. There are always those projects or tasks that just have to be done that we'd rather not do. There are always going to be times when we have to work with demotivation.

Part of maturity and taking responsibility for our lives is doing the things that need to be done, and doing them well whether or not we're in the mood.

Here are some strategies you can use that may help you to deal with those kinds of activities you'd rather not have to:

1. Get really clear on the project or task you need to complete

2. Completely relax your body from head to toe (take a few minutes to do this), focusing on the point just below your navel. This is known as your lower Dantien, a point of focus, balance and inner strength. Concentrating on this point helps you feel more centred, more solid and more grounded.

3. From this place of focus, fully accept that the project or task needs to be done and that it will be dealt with either by you or someone else.

4. Establish/list what aspects of the task or project put you off

5. Take each hindrance and find a way around it, eg:

· Task is too big (can you make it smaller?)

· I can't do it on my own (can you get help? Who from?)

· It's dirty, grimy (can you view this as a character-building exercise?)

· I don't understand it/don't have the right training (can you get the right training or support?)

· It's too boring (can you find a way to make it more fun?)

6. Create space for the completion of the project or task. Decide when you are going to finish the project/task. Be aware that you may not finish it by the exact end date you put on it, but the fact you now have a timeframe can help to galvanise you and motivate you go get busy.

Establishing timeframes can, however, be a double-edged sword. Whereas a well estimated timeframe can do wonders to get you moving, a badly estimated one can not only add to your general stress levels, but also deflate you if the bigger part of you is convinced you'll never be able to meet it.

The trick is to get good, with practice, at setting timeframes for yourself for whatever you do on a daily basis. How long do you need to prepare dinner? How long do you need to drive to work and back? How quickly can you get this report completed? How long do you expect to take to get the car fixed?

By beginning to put timeframes on the things you do every day, you'll begin to get a better feel for your pace and, more importantly your style of working when demotivation begins to set in. With time, it then becomes easier to gauge just how long important projects and activities will take you and you'll be better able to communicate this to those around you.

If it's not your timeframe but someone else's, aim to complete your task or project before the end of theirs. Essentially you're setting a timeframe within a timeframe. If it is getting close to the end date try your best to finish it by that date. If this really is not possible, ask for a reasonable but definite extension - e.g. an extra seven days, an extra 14 days, an extra hour etc.

Ensure you will definitely complete the activity by the end of that extension period, as requesting a second postponement may begin to cast doubt on your self-belief in your own eyes, and your credibility in the eyes of those around you.

Adopting these strategies when you don't feel like doing something you know needs to be completed, you'll begin to see significant and positive shifts in how you work with demotivation.

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You Always Get What You Believe You Deserve

Self-Worth Issues Are Rooted In Our Childhood

I'd like you to reflect on the following questions before you read the rest of this article: What do you believe you deserve in life? Do you have issues around receiving? Do you find it difficult to get what you want because of the obstacles that get in the way? Do you struggle to fill your needs, whether it be via: a relationship, career goals, finances or otherwise? Yes, there are many questions to consider and I invite you to journal your answers after you finish reading. It may be difficult to acknowledge, however we always get what we believe we deserve. Allow me to unpack this further to explain what I mean. If we have self-worth issues embedded in our childhood, we will settle for less and believe it is all we are capable of receiving.

For example, when I was young, my father remarked that I would never amount to anything because I couldn't do the smallest tasks properly. Although I didn't digest the significance of its meaning, it was repeated often enough and became entrenched in my psyche. Like many others, I developed self-esteem issues related to deserving because of this belief. Have you experienced something similar when growing up? It wasn't until I used self-enquiry to heal the limiting beliefs, that I understood that they were formed during my upbringing.

It wasn't only my father's fault because I played a part in co-creating the experience, insofar as I accepted the messages communicated to me. In contrast, my mother was a kind, loving and compassionate woman who constantly nurtured me and my siblings through positive reinforcement. So why did I absorbed my father's criticism and not my mother's positive encouragement? Psychologists say our minds are more alert to negativity, known as a negativity bias which is hard-wired into our DNA. I'm not alone in encountering these childhood experiences. I have coached hundreds of people over the years who experienced similar events, whether through a parent, a teacher, a sporting coach or loved one. Each of them adopted the negative stimuli that undermined their self-esteem.

You Must Believe You Are Deserving

So how do we overcome our childhood wounds to become better receivers? I believe it lies in self-enquiry, to better understand ourselves. For some, it may require working with a trained therapist to explore their childhood traumas. Either way, we must learn to navigate and heal our emotional wounds so we can move forward. How does this sound to you? Can you see how life isn't conspiring against you? Life wants to give you all the riches you deserve. But first you must overcome the impediments that stand in the way of receiving them. There's no point bemoaning your current situation while wanting more when underneath it, you feel unworthy of receiving it.

To receive more, we must believe we are deserving of having more. It requires rewriting our childhood script and seeing it through the eyes of compassion and love, even towards our wrongdoer. I'm not condoning acts of abuse of any kind but inviting you to forgive yourself and those who contributed to your pain. This is the essence of what the clinical neuropsychologist, Dr. Mario Martinez captures in his book The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success: "One of the most important lessons is that forgiveness is a liberation from the personal enslavement you construct when a misdeed is perpetrated against you. Rather than forgiving the perpetrator or minimizing the intensity of the misdeed, you recover the empowerment and self-worthiness you thought had been taken from you."

A realisation I experienced in the last decade was that my father's role in my life was purposeful from a greater perspective because he helped me realise my self-worth. Had I not experienced those events, I may not have valued myself to the degree I do now. My emotional wounds helped me discover my true self-worth. I'm not suggesting this is the only aspect holding us back from receiving goodness, since there may be other childhood wounds interwoven throughout our experiences. What I know is: When we remove the fragmented stories of our undeservedness, we clear the runway for our life to soar. I know people who worked hard to heal their childhood wounds and remain stuck in their pain and suffering.

We must trust there is no deadline for our healing and transformation. You might call it a gradual awakening. Whatever the case, it entails stripping back that which is not conducive to a life of peace and joy. We must believe we are deserving of living a rich and abundant life. This doesn't mean we will not encounter pain or suffering. It means, when we make peace with our childhood wounds, they no longer hold us captive. With this in mind, I'd like you to open your diary and journal your answers to the questions at the beginning of the article. Take your time and sit with your thoughts to get a sense of what is holding you back from receiving more. Ultimately, if we believe we deserve more, we must change our relationship to attract what is in alignment with our greater self.

https://ezinearticles.com/?You-Always-Get-What-You-Believe-You-Deserve&id=10194031

The Ripple Effects of Kindness

It only takes a spark

to get a fire going,

and soon all those around

will warm up to its glowing...

That old song, called "Pass It On," used to be a popular one to end campouts and church retreats. Everyone would gather in a circle in the dark with an unlit candle, and as they sang the song, one candle would be illuminated. Then that candle would be touched to the wick of another, and the person holding that candle would pivot to the next, and so on, until every candle was lit and the darkness was driven away.

It only took a spark.

Lately, I've been thinking of kindness in that way - how it spreads from person to person, with the potential to light up the world.

Over the last 30 years, I've been listening to people's stories - the stories of their lives, and of what has caused them to be the way they are. Everyone has these stories of events from their past that caused them either unhappiness or happiness.

One thing I've learned in all this time is that we affect one another, and the way we treat others matters.

There's no getting around the cruel fact that the actions of people we're raised with matter. Some parents are loving, supportive, and kind, but then there are those who are cruel or even abusive. The words of such parents can have a lasting impact, with statements like "I wish you'd never been born," or "You'll never amount to anything." This can become part of a playlist that their children return to again and again throughout their lives, because it's incredibly difficult to change to a different soundtrack when one is so embedded into our subconscious.

Cruel words are sadly common, but physical or even sexual cruelty are also enacted upon children, and the memories of these actions, too, can reverberate for years.

You may know someone who had a very challenging childhood growing up, and if you do, you have likely seen the ripple effects of that early trauma. These people may leave their childhood and their families in the past, but as adults they may move on to instigating abuse in their own relationships, or they may numb themselves with drugs and alcohol.

Even if they avoid physical abuse of themselves (through substances) or others (through violence), people who were raised in an atmosphere of unkindness may themselves resort to being unkind to the people in their lives - the people they love. What we see in these situations is a cycle of pain that moves from one generation to the next.

Something that has surprised me over the years is that I have known people who went through incredibly difficult childhoods, and they have turned out beautifully. We might look at this outcome as being seemingly miraculous. How did they do it? How did they end the cycle of pain?

This is a topic I have explored with close attention for decades, and what I have found is that love makes its mark in people's lives. When people who have had challenging upbringings turn out helpful, loving, and kind, I believe we are seeing ripples of a loving presence that made its mark on their lives, perhaps outside of the home.

I really believe that no matter how challenging our young lives were, someone probably loved us unconditionally. Someone showed us unconditional kindness, even in the darkest of hours. It could be anyone. Are they angels? Are they beings that were sent to help us? Whatever they are, they're with all of us, and the spark of their lovingkindness passes on and on.

I've never found anyone who didn't have someone in their lives who showed them some kindness, some love, even when it seemed like everyone else in their lives was cruel to them.

Here's what I know about kindness: It has a ripple effect. The love of a single kind, angelic presence can issue from them in wave after wave after wave, washing over and through us and continuing on to touch those in our path. For some, even with the horrible things that are happening in their lives, they are able to take this kindness and turn it into something beautiful.

All of us have opportunities in our lives to be kind to others - to say something encouraging, to treat them in a friendly way, to show expressions of kindness toward them - and when we do this, we create a ripple of kindness that radiates in two directions: outward and inward.

The kindness that radiates outward toward others can help them to improve their lives by giving them hope, by helping them through difficult times, or by putting a smile on their face. We often do not know the effects of our kindness on others, but we can be sure that it makes a difference. It could be that someone goes home with a happier heart, and thus is more likely to share kindness with loved ones - perhaps with children.

And beyond eliciting a simple smile, our stopping and making time for kindness to others might pull them out of dark despair. It might help them when we don't realize that they're having a hard time. It could even spare a precious life from being ended through suicide. We don't know how far our ripples extend, but I believe they can go very far sometimes, and just by the mindset of love and care, we can help others to live an improved life.

Kindness is a source of hope for the hopeless. It opens the door to positive possibilities. When others are being kind to us and they really don't have to be, we take that in. We say, "Oh, maybe there is love, and maybe I can let that love in and even love myself." Even if we feel that we do not deserve kindness, we understand that someone else feels differently about us and our value and worth. Kindness loosens our bonds to let that love in, and as a result, we may begin to show compassion toward our own stoutly beating heart.

The ripple effects of kindness affect the people we come in contact with and the people they encounter after they leave us, and there is every reason to expect that the beat goes on and on and on. "It only takes a spark," as the song says. The more kindness we show, the more the world around us will become a much more beautiful place. There is so much negativity and darkness in our world, but our kindness can be a light.

I remember once going on a tour of a cave. There is a moment in most such tours where the guide turns out the lights, and there is no dark like that. It is a fact of physics that light can't bend; it can travel only in a straight line. Once we're in a cave like that, we've moved through narrow passages and around corners and up and down slopes, and there was no way for a ray of light to follow us there. That would be physically impossible.

If someone in the tour group happened to have a watch with a glowing dial or a lighted digital display, what a difference that would make! That light, imperceptible in the light of day, would be so bright in a dark cave because it's the only source of light to be found. Kindness is like this. When we're in our darkest places, the spark of the simplest friendly gesture can illuminate our lives and guide us on our way.

When the lights finally do come on in this part of the standard cave tour, what an experience that is. It is almost blinding. Maybe this would be considered low light under normal circumstances; maybe there's hardly any light at all. But kindness shines when people are in despair or struggling, and we can help people navigate by our example.

For the people in our daily lives - our friends and our family members - we have an opportunity throughout the day to share our kindness with them. Where we might come home to them and tease them, kid them, or make fun of them, we can instead choose a loving word that can encourage and lift them. This is something we can do throughout the day, wherever we are.

I have often counseled couples were struggling in their relationship. The main thing I try to impart to them is the importance of a tender word. I encourage them to say something friendly to them throughout each day to give each other hope and help them to feel love. We experience love through kindness, in romantic relationships, but also in our daily lives. For example, in the workplace, if we are a supervisor with employees who report to us, we can correct them, but for every correction, we should give them dozens of words of encouragement, too.

Sometimes people choose to be unkind to us. When this happens, a good choice can be to walk away and put distance between ourselves and the ugliness. Another alternative? We can be kind back to the person who has chosen to treat us cruelly. We are never required to be giving to those who take from us, emotionally or otherwise, but it is an option we might want to try, and a potent one. Unlikely as it seems, kindness is one of the most important forces in the universe.

I mentioned that kindness can radiate outwards toward others, but it can also radiate inwards towards ourselves. When this happens, we open ourselves up to happiness.

The truth is, happiness is only possible through kindness. We are not going to find happiness in our hearts if we treat others with unkindness, because kindness is part of the journey toward happiness. We honestly do need to be kind toward others if we want to find peace in our lives.

Those people who are kind are much more likely to be happy in life. They don't have to look in the mirror and say, "I'm a cruel, unkind person." Instead they can say that even if people are treating them unkindly, they can be kind toward others.

It is really important that we understand the value of maintaining boundaries when we are dealing with cruel and sadistic people. Everyone needs kindness in their lives, but those who would choose to abuse you do not need their kindness to come from you. If someone is being cruel to you in your life right now, you should recognize that you have the right to get up and walk away - and if someone is being physically or sexually abusive, you must find a way to exit that situation the moment you can do so safely. There are resources to help, including the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233).

Beyond abuse, many of us find that the world is not a kind place, but even when we see others out to cause misery and unhappiness, we can choose to be that watch dial in the cave, or that circle of candles, lit one wick to the next until night starts to look like day. When we take the many opportunities we have to be kind throughout the day, we can feel the ripple effects of kindness inside of us, radiating through self-love.

There are many parts to living a happy life, but one of the main ones is kindness. I doubt you or I will ever meet a truly happy person who is unkind, because a person who is unkind will never find happiness. The ripple effects would be so damaging to themselves and to others in their lives.

You are reading this because you desire a life filled with happiness. Maybe we all want such a life, but you have taken steps to embrace happiness and to welcome it into your life. I have been talking about happiness for quite a long time, with individual, with groups, and with listeners and readers in various formats. I am always promoting the value of meditation - of finding that still, small voice inside of us, of getting in sync with nature, of slowing down our frenzied lives. I suggest making time for pleasure and counting our blessings. But one of the most important means to becoming happy is kindness. It's the one component of a happy life that has no substitute and that must be our set point if we are to know the bliss we seek.

All of us are here in this human existence so that we can be happy and at peace. We can create happiness in ourselves by one means more than any other: by being kind. And because kindness ripples outward, we can make the world a better place if we work towards cultivating kindness in others.

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The Power of Positive Thinking in Your Life

Positive thinking gets a bad rap these days. You may have heard it said that this kind of thinking doesn't help because it is just thought, and doesn't do anything tangible. You may have also heard that this way of thinking is just a fad, and it only makes you "feel good" but does not really help. You may have even heard that it actually works against you because it is not grounded in reality, and it distracts you from what you should be doing.

While all the things mentioned above may have a sliver of truth, the more complete truth is that a positive attitude is essential to making any change in your life. Let me explain. Everything in our lives is made of thought.

Everything. Now I am not saying that the tangible universe does not exist. If you stub your toe on a chair leg at two in the morning when you get up for a glass of water, you would probably be certain that the chair exists, right? But our experience of the world and the universe is completely made up of our thinking about it. In other words, the only way we can experience anything is through our thinking.

Do you see what I am getting at here? The world may be "out there", but our experience of the world is "in here." The world we experience is completely our thoughts in the moment. Our experience of the world is subjective. Now that does not mean that you can have positive thoughts and nothing bad will ever happen to you. I can almost guarantee that the most cheerful person in the world will still get rained on if they are in Edinburgh, Scotland in November. But here is the key point, how you feel about the rain, how you internally experience it, is up to the way you are thinking.

Look at the points I am making from another angle. If you have an event of any type, a person who has consistently negative thoughts as their way of being in life will have a very different experience than a person who has consistently positive thoughts. I am not advocating a "Pollyanna" "Everything is Roses" attitude while the roof of your house is coming off in a hurricane, but I am saying that you might want to consider the way that your baseline thoughts change the way you feel or experience everything. In other words, pay attention to what is beneath any feeling you have. After all, some psychologists believe that all emotion springs from thoughts, whether we are aware of the thoughts or not.

Obviously, "positive thinking" can mean different things to different people. This is not a one-size-fits-all world we live in. We are all unique in our experiences, which is why some people are formed with a more or less positive way of viewing the world, and others are formed with a more negative view. I am not saying that either way is bad, just that they are different ways of experiencing what is "out there" in the world.

Here is a concept that may seem radical to some: The way you think is a skill that can be changed with effort. That means, if for whatever reason you are not satisfied with the way you think, experience the world, or feel, you can work to change the way you are thinking and experiencing the world. In some cases, this can be as simple as the realization that thought matters and that you have control over the way you think. In other cases it may be that you have to put in consistent effort and self-reflection to understand the way you are thinking because so much thinking is automatic and we are not even aware of our thoughts.

So what can you do right now:

- Be aware of your thinking and use your feelings as a guide. When you have a feeling, pause and consider what thought is beneath the feeling. Where did it come from?

- Once you find the underlying thought that is beneath the feeling, ask yourself if the thought is actually valid. If it is not, wait for a better thought. Yes, wait, because a different thought that is likely more valid will come, and when it does, focus on that one.

- Practice consciously having positive thoughts. The simplest way to do this is not to try and drive out negative thoughts, but rather to focus on positive things and consider all the things in your life that you are grateful for, and the people or experiences you have had that are positive.

- Spend more time doing things that make you happy and bring you joy.

Changing your thinking to a more positive trajectory is not impossible, it just takes an awareness that it can be done, and some effort. The key point is that living life from a more positive orientation gives you the energy to make positive changes in your relationships, your health, and your work. Don't discount the benefits of being more positive until you give it a chance.

There are numerous research studies that show that people with a positive attitude are healthier and happier. It makes sense when you think about it, If you are positive, you are more likely to make positive changes in your life. Your relationships are generally more positive, and your social network is stronger.

Small things add up when you are making changes that move your life in a positive direction.

You do not need to change everything overnight. Do one small thing and then go from there. Don't beat yourself up if you fall back into a negative mindset from time to time. We all do, The key is to get back up and start again,

Eventually, small changes will happen and your outlook on life can change. Positive thinking can work amazing changes in the way you experience life. Why not give it a try.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Power-of-Positive-Thinking-in-Your-Life&id=10181092

Talking to the Angels

A tiny baby's smile while sleeping is often referred to as 'talking to the angels' and maybe it's true. Who are these angels that entertain our newborns? If they talk to us as when we are a tiny baby, where do they go as we grow older, like us?

That 'higher consciousness' many try to connect with is also the 'parking angel' that guides us to the perfect, safe parking spot in a crowd, the one who whispers, "take a different route today" that seemingly knows the regular route could have been disastrous for us. The angels that surround us, whisper in our ear, raise alarms for no apparent reason are with us from the very beginning. Newborns have not been told they are not real and readily recognize them, especially during sleep time when we enjoy a different conscious state of mind. Sleep makes the world go away, for a time. But young children and certainly adults are wiser... aren't they?

As children we knew what we believed was real, were never afraid of dreaming and surely not afraid of voicing those big dreams. And then, a joker name reality strode onto the scene in the form of trusted adults who warned us that those things were not real, we were imagining or even being dishonest about those angels, dreams and odd stories. What we 'knew' quickly became filtered through the lens of cynical adults who had long since ceased to believe. But they were wrong.

The practice of dashing dreams has been instilled in most adults; we become adept at being cynical and disbelieving of all that cannot be processed through the filters of what we now believe. Is it any wonder that so few dare to dream, and believe in them? There is a very simple explanation of who those 'angels' are; they are parts and parcels of you, the parts that remain with you always, yet not enclosed in the human body. If all the parts of you were contained in your body you would appear just like an angel, a being of light. The human body cannot contain all the parts of who we are.

The parts that remain outside of us are identifiable; the innate that surrounds and protects each of us, warning of danger around you, illnesses that require attention and people in your surroundings whose intentions are potentially harmful. They are the 'parking angel' the sixth sense, the intuitive part of you, the higher self or higher consciousness imparting information that is always benevolent because it comes from a part of you that exists in a higher consciousness.

Everyone who still believes in dreams, dreaming and the ability to reach their highest goals is highly intuitive. They have parted ways with those warnings about what is real or not real, understanding that some people will consciously choose to sleep through their life experience; but not them. They have reestablished the connection to those parts of themselves and rely on the inner guidance they receive. Intuitive they are, because they listen and believe in those gut feelings (the most reliable, incoming from the innate) the sense of just knowing, or an answer to an issue received in dream time.

We call them intuitive or psychic because they know things we seemingly cannot know. Intuitive people understand that the same higher consciousness that surrounds all of us is willing to communicate with those willing to assist in delivering the important messages. Can you image how much better life could be if everyone reestablished the line of communication with the best part of themselves? Fear would become a thing of the past and dreams would soon be a new reality. Just imagine!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Talking-to-the-Angels&id=10186741

Things Everyone Needs to Understand About Work Related Stress

With so many companies around the world downsizing right now, more employees are finding themselves facing work related stress by trying to complete too much or being forced to take on too much when one of their colleagues leaves. There are things you need to know about this condition, it is very real and something seeking the help of an experienced and qualified work stress counsellor can giving you the coping techniques you need to manage each day effectively.

The first thing you are going to want to ensure is that you know the signs of work related stress, so you can see when you need to take action, possibly getting some professional help. Many companies will understand that you are facing stress related to your work, but most people want to keep it quiet and find a qualified work stress counsellor who will work with them in confidence moving forward.

The signs of this condition include everything from constantly feeling anxious to being irritable. Some people find that they lose interest in their jobs and their productivity levels drop, while others suffer with concentration and find that they have severe stomach problems. Sleep deprivation is another problem, being tired all the time and just wanting to get home and crawl back into bed.

It is imperative when you are being overloaded at work and you think you may be suffering from work stress that you take the time to take care of yourself. Ensure you start to exercise and move. If you tend to sit at your desk for hours on end, take a few minutes and walk around the office, get moving. You will also want to pay very close attention to your diet, incorporating a healthy eating plan into your busy lifestyle. The final thing to do to care for yourself is to make sure you get enough sleep. Go to bed early and get at least eight hours of sleep to recharge you for the next day.

Learn to be organised and prioritise. This can help you put together a balanced schedule that you can manage with ease. You must also learn the art of saying "no" without hurting feelings and take regular breaks throughout the day. Being organised and putting a priority list together at the beginning of each day and then focusing on your list to ensure all your duties are done will help you work in a methodical manner and reduce the stress relating to your work. It will also ensure you don't overload yourself, which will only increase your stress levels.

Get to know the signs that you may be stressed. This is important. So many people will start their day relaxed and then get busier and eventually they find that they are tired, they haven't stopped and they don't want to get out of bed the next day because they know what is waiting for them.

It is worthwhile if you are suffering from work stress to find a local counsellor who can work with you, identify the cause of your stress and provide you with coping techniques, such as relaxation and breathing techniques to help you manage your stress a little easier.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Things-Everyone-Needs-to-Understand-About-Work-Related-Stress&id=9460336

Expectations Reality

William Shakespeare said "Expectation is the root of all heartaches"

In life, things don't always go as planned. We lay our scenarios in our heads, of everything going perfectly, and looking great, without a hitch or flaw. But let's be honest things almost never go down the way we think. We humans make our own fantasy world and think according to that, but reality is much different. I am not saying having expectations is wrong, we all do expect something from someone. A father does from his child, we from our friends and family and the list is never ending. But the thing is, sometimes we expect a lot from other people. We expect more from them because we would be willing to do that much from them.

Many of us have been in a situation where we felt helpless just because someone terminated our feelings. But this is how the life goes on. The only expectations we should have is from ourselves. We should keep our expectations high on achievements and low on people. There is no reason to feel disappointed, just let the things happen. we should have our goals high. It's better to be surprised than to be disappointed.

Successful people are successful because they are goal oriented. They don't expect anything from others but only from them. So we should have our dreams high and expectations even higher for ourselves. Because we are the writer of our own story, no one else will sail the boat of our lives. So don't expect more from the world. Be confident. Have the courage to face the world, be patient.

Thus I would like to conclude by quoting these lines from the Bhagwad Gita "Far better to live your own path imperfectly than to live another's perfectly."

"BEING JUDGED"

Have you ever thought that you are being judged? Don't worry. There will always be one person sitting somewhere in the world finding faults in you right now. No matter how you walk, dress, talk, no matter what you do, no matter what you don't do, they are going to judge you.

We are surrounded by a huge number of people. They include our family, friends, and people we haven't heard names of. Except a few of them everyone else is judging you.

If you drink, smoke- they'll judge you.

If you are a girl and roam with your guy friends they'll judge you.

If you don't talk too much, they'll say you are snobbish.

If you start any conversation, they'll say that you are way easy.

If you decide to please yourself first, they'll judge you by saying that you are selfish.

If you don't go out for a round of beers, they'll say you are boring.

Thousand other examples would suffice this argument, but it's pointless. Negativity will always haunt you. It will want to tear you apart and strive to leave a tinge of sadness in your soul that can bring you down. And the only thing that can heal you are the positive vibes that we need to inculcate in ourselves. You know what is snobbish, selfish, easy, boring here... 'THEM'.

You will anyway be judged for everything you do, whether it's wrong or right. Just do what you feel is good until and unless it doesn't hurt anyone. Do what makes you happy, do what your heart wants you to do. Find a way that makes you stand apart and ignore the crowd.

In the end, it is the warm smile on your face after facing all the cruelness that will make people gaze in awe and make their mouth shut.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Expectations-Reality&id=9870094

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Have you ever attempted to read jumbled letter paragraphs and wondered why they seemed simple to some and challenging to others? Or listened to an eye-witness accounting of conversations that left you wondering where the truth may lie because they were so different? Even more perplexing is being present yourself and feeling certain that you heard everything correctly only to hear many differing accounts of the same event. How is this possible? Do others see what you see or hear what you hear? If not, how is effective communication even possible?

The human brain is remarkable for a multitude of reasons but auto correct may be the best teacher in understanding what is happening when another persons recounting goes awry. The human brain anticipates, just like auto correct, what is coming next. As it is engaged it anticipates what seems to fit the sentence or scenario and fills in the blanks. For the same reason that auto correct is great for some it is a nightmare for others. The brain anticipates based on the filters, biases and experiences it has recorded in its own private reference library. We stop really listening when we think we can 'fill in the blanks.' Life experience now enters the equation.

A newborn baby may be born into a large family of door slammers who are accustomed to loud noises and verbal shouting. The first time it hears these sounds the baby cries loudly in fear. Each time someone comforts them they grow more and more accepting that the loud environment is normal. A baby born into a household where music plays quietly and visitors murmur to allow the sleeping baby to rest develops completely different filters. While one may hear normal in loud noises the other will be terrified. It only takes a few weeks to develop their normal. Children who live in abusive households lose the ability to draw the line and establish barriers for themselves in relationships because they were not permitted to do so as a child. Theirs is a different normal. People relate, judge and interact through what they identify as normal.

What you have personally experienced in life largely determines what you hear and see; the blanks are filled in by your anticipation of what is coming. One person's anticipation can be diametrically opposed to the next persons based on what they have lived, learned to accept and what they believe is the anticipated outcome of a sentence, a paragraph, a thought or a relationship. Many times people do not hear or see what you do. Their blanks were filled in from a different set of circumstances.

When communications become completely skewered, try tuning in to the person by listening. If you find yourself in a situation where you simply cannot understand why another person believes in something you think is unimaginable or expects an outcome that seems impossible to you take a moment to tune in to them. Listen as they describe their life experiences. Words and phrases can tell you how they are accustomed to communicating in life, or what they have learned to accept as normal.

Is there an air of expectation or resignation? Are they expecting to encounter the worst case or anticipating a miracle? Our expectations in life are developed when we are very young and totally under the control of authority figures around us. It takes a determined effort to alter the course and see or hear things differently. But we can; and when we do we can come together and find common ground. We can understand.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Hear-What-I-Hear?&id=9952141

There Are Times When Second Place Is a Win

Have you ever played a game with someone whose sole focus was to win? It can be a joyless, unsatisfying and singularly unpleasant experience, especially if we were really looking forward to sharing some fun times and enjoying each other's company.

If our opponent is disinterested in anything other than winning we may even mentally walk away with a shrug and a resigned, 'you go for it, I'm not that bothered' mindset. Winning isn't always about coming first; indeed second place can be a win, sometimes offering a more rounded experience.

Let's reflect on those times when second place is a win:

- When you're less full on you can relax and enjoy the game, become immersed in the process of taking part, playing, participating. Being solely focused on beating everyone else can mean that there's little joy in the time spent together. It can make for a tense, stressful experience. A better time is had by all when everyone feels included, is able to relax and know that they're not going to be judged or criticised for doing their best, especially when it doesn't bring a win. I remember a time, years ago, when several of us decided to stop playing lunchtime rounders. The games had become so competitive, with team captains screaming orders, berating us if we didn't catch the ball!

- Less pressure means you're able to enjoy more comfortable relationships. Playing together, taking time to help each other, give advice and laugh at mistakes means you get to know each other in a more relaxed setting. You may be happy to help each other improve even though you're technically there to win, sharing tips on how they can perhaps even beat you! It's all in the furtherance of those friendships and afterwards you'll all feel the benefits of getting to know each other better.

- It's important to reasonably often find ourselves challenged and stimulated in a myriad of ways. Sometimes that can be quite stressful. And yet, there are also many ways where we can challenge ourselves without becoming stressed and aggressive, where we're not totally focused on the eventual outcome and whether or not we'll come first. But some stress is good for us and keeps us on our toes, encourages us to think outside the box helps us push ourselves further.

- Looking at ways of keeping a game or competitive event interesting can include many skills. Reading body language, noting how your opponent plays their hand and making discreet observations and decisions can make it a more fun experience when you practise these skills. With that in mind you could choose to vary your game, play your hand a little differently, experiment and challenge yourself, rather than simply powering on ahead with the sole aim of wiping out your opposition.

Of course there are times when we really do need to be driven, committed and intent on winning, those times when coming out on top is the only thing we have in mind, but there are plenty of other times when it's great to enjoy the game, have fun and share the experience with the others in the room. Sometimes you win far more than you lose by coming second.

https://ezinearticles.com/?There-Are-Times-When-Second-Place-Is-a-Win&id=6430521

Dying Dreams - What They Mean

Who doesn't remember those dreams of times gone by? A childhood spent staring at fluffy clouds searching for shapes and faces that just could be something more signal the awakening of our ability to envision tomorrow differently than today appears. It is the creative energy within that emerges softly, gently, encouraging us to see more, believe more and become more. Little did we imagine that we were experiencing the wakening of a giant within, one that would shape and ultimately control our destiny. Dreams are significant, acting as an inner roadmap guiding us to where we plan to arrive in our lives; one day.

Time passes so swiftly once we leave those formative years. Even in childhood, we become busy with events and changes that may be beyond our control. So easy it is to move through time without any awareness of its passing; like the changing of seasons that bring falling leaves and finally daffodils that peak through the mud as Spring approaches we cease noticing change around us as we become enmeshed in what is before us. What about those dreams, where is that giant within that planned to emerge and pursue things we once thought were undying dreams?

Noticing how much time has passed or how fast it is moving seems to become more important at a few distinct times in life. It becomes most important when we look behind us at the landscape traversed and believe our dreams have died, that it is too late to pursue them. We imagine we have wasted the time, forfeited it to some imaginary crisis or a sensible idea we were pressed to believe in. This brings a sense of sadness, even despair to some. It is a good time to re-examine the dreams we once held dear.

Dreams that gradually fade away are not the same as those that have died. These are the dreams we willingly forfeited because something changed. We gather more information about things that interest us as life continues. Sometimes we learn that the price is higher than we are willing to pay, that the reality of the dream was significantly different from what we imagined or we simply replace it with a new dream that fires an inner passion. Something becomes more important and replaces the old dream and so we discard what was for what inspires us far more. We changed.

Dreams that die are different; we imagine they don't involve a personal choice, believing that something or someone prevented us from aspiring to what we once held dear. These are painful losses that can leave us feeling battered, beaten and even bitter. Look deeper within those emotions and you are likely to find a different cause, one with more emotion behind it that incites deep feelings of loss. Believing our dreams are dead to us is typically rooted to another person and our expectations of the role they would play in our dreams. We are disappointed in a person, sometimes expecting far more than they were ever willing to give. Our dream falls apart as changes emerge, leaving us feeling like we are left behind to flounder and find a new path. Many times this leaves us feeling lost and lonely regardless of our age.

When a significant event alters the course of our life, and we all know when something is significant, it is time to broaden our horizons. Change has arrived like an intruder into our nicely planned life and we are left with few if any choices about the ultimate outcome; or are we? When big things happen they arrive to guide us to a new and different path, one that forces us to be uncomfortable, to stumble and discover how strong we are or what part we are intended to play in what lies before us.

When you cease to struggle against the change and stop clinging to what used to be you become free to embrace what can be. Your dream may not have died at all; is it possible that you have been redirected to a better place, a better way or an opportunity you never dared to believe in? Your dream may have been expanded to include opportunities you never knew existed that can lead to far greater joy in your life. When change arrives leaving you feeling like all is lost look for the opportunity; you were not redirected without a plan. That gentle giant within you has awakened and moved you forward. Dare to dream a new dream, again.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Dying-Dreams---What-They-Mean&id=10000412

How To Find Inner Strength And Maximize Personal Fulfillment

"If you hear a voice within you say you can not paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced." Vincent Van Gogh

We frequently make every effort to fill that space in between exactly what we've got and exactly what we desire focusing our attention on what we think we lack.

This weakens us!

Are we investing so much time and energy attempting to get up to speed where we are doing nothing, and find that we miss out on the chance to take advantage of and make the most of the strengths, skills, and resources that we currently have?

Humankind's manmade illusory forces based on assumptions and projections shut down the idea of being one with our Creator, so that you remain in a mode of littleness that leads to loneliness and loathsomeness.

With regard to abilities, if you discover an ability but doubt or fear it, it might still assist you to get only a "little" better, however you will not experience personal fulfillment.

Rather, as you develop your strengths, by uncovering your inner power, abilities will in fact show most important when they are integrated with authentic skill.

Are you prepared to get familiarized with finding real inner strength?

You might be amazed by exactly what uncovers as your strengths even though it makes sense once you believe it without fear and doubt or judgement.

I mean that when you are utilizing your strengths which is one factor why we do not acknowledge them, life will start to welcome you.

To us our inner power looks like no huge offer, or we believe everybody believes that way.

Let me explain by asking you:

Where are you losing time on something that is not honoring your leading skills and strengths?

Allow those jobs to be handed over to somebody who has the strength to do it remarkably better than you?

How can you establish your service or business and even your household so that individuals included are establishing their strengths?

If the brand-new ability is in line with one of your strengths you will discover it much easier to take full advantage of that ability which is constructed on a strength.

How can you take exactly what you've got and optimize it filled with hope and faith to make a favorable effect in your life and the life of others?

I mean beginning Now!

Previously I discussed how to live the life you imagine now by letting go of feeling hopeless.

Are we investing so much time and energy being hopeless and attempting to get up to speed where we are not taking action, and thus missing out on the chance to take advantage of and make the most of our inner power?

Are we too busy being set in complacency waiting for some outside power to deliver us the resources and skills we need to accomplish our heroic mission?

If there are resources you need to be aligned with your true free will, your inner power will discover how to locate and take full advantage of resources you never before realized were available.

The world will be there to help.

Rather than feeling worried and anxious and calling out through the ego-based mind-- which may start hounding you about loss and lack, only leading to a disastrous drain on your emotions quickly, go within and uncover your inner Light.

- Do so by talking to yourself like you would an old friend in need.

- Ask, "How would I advise a goof friend who is having a similar problem?"

- Then tell yourself you are now living in the light and not darkness.

By uncovering the Light, this will eliminate or undo much of the ego clutter of lack trying to be in control.

The Course in Miracles states, "Decide for the answer and you will have it, for you will see it as it is, and it is yours already."

As the ego chatter fades a new formula will begin conquering what is obstructing the way and renewed inner strength will take over.

If you're still in a bit of a stymie, take one step toward action of some sort, even if it's just a simple phone call to someone for help.

Or, the action could be preparing a checklist of things you can do next.

Do something to shine light on the problems one at a time, and insist to yourself that you must start taking some sort of action.

No matter what, as long as you're moving in the right direction, you will be uncovering a creative attitude supporting productive action.

This new inner power, or, mindfulness muscle, we may say, was not found or delivered to you from somewhere "out there," but it was uncovered from within you.

(Be sure to seek the net for further helpful content on topics like, ways to overcome adversity and get the life you want with a happy life.)

To your inner power!

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Find-Inner-Strength-And-Maximize-Personal-Fulfillment&id=9952318

When Is It EVER Going To Happen?

There's something that you want. Perhaps you've wanted it for a long time. You want it REALLY badly. But it STILL hasn't shown up and you're asking yourself, "Is it EVER going to happen?!?!"

Author Paris Johnson went exactly through this. She felt anxious, discouraged and frustrated. She felt stuck. After working so long and hard toward her goal of becoming a recognized expert in her field, nothing seemed to manifest. WHY?

Here's the thing. When we're feeling stuck, it's never the situation that has become stuck. It's our energy that's stuck. While we've been putting part of our energy toward manifesting what we want, another part of our energy contradicts the vibration of what we want. We cannot manifest from this place because we aren't a vibrational match to our desire.

This was Paris' frustration. She wanted to make a difference. She wanted to reach the people who needed her influence. But it Just. Wasn't. Happening.

The universe is impersonal. It responds only to our vibration - wherever we focus our energy. If part of us is focused on what we want, and another part is focused on what we don't want, or on what's lacking, we can't manifest what we DO want. It's like a tug of war, with opposing energies pulling at both ends. Our vibration is contradicting itself and nothing can move forward. What we want stays in the unmanifested world of wants.

So what did Paris do? The secret was to focus on raising the frequency of her vibration. The higher her vibration, the more powerfully she was able to manifest her dreams and desires. And you can do the same!

We often ask "When is it EVER going to happen?" But our manifestations don't usually happen on a linear timeline. They usually happen when we align with a higher vibration that allows our manifestation to come TO us.

Behind the scenes: When you're feeling stuck, it isn't the situation that's become stuck... it's your energy that's stuck, from the trigger of negative emotions that can come from past hurts and traumas.

In other words, it isn't the pain of the situation; it's the pain of not being connected to the natural positive energy of who you really are... a creative vibrational being who can use positive energies to create what you want and bring it into the physical. Part of this process is to invite your manifestations to materialize, and not get stuck in the negative vibrations that block them.

https://ezinearticles.com/?When-Is-It-EVER-Going-To-Happen?&id=9999110

Reduce Guilt Today Using 3 Top Strategies

Guilt is such an uncomfortable and often "squirmy" feeling. Its discomfort provides great incentive to break free from old patterns, and move ahead with freed-up time and energy.

So here are 3 pointers I find especially helpful when working with my clients who are wrestling with feelings of guilt:

1. Re-frame guilt messages into messages about appropriate responsibility.

When you feel weighed down by your own guilt, or by someone's harsh words, it's wise to carefully explore what's really happening.

"What is truly my responsibility here? If my choices created issues, how can I constructively contribute to improve my end of things?"

Guilt is heavy-handed and reactive. Proactively taking responsibility is even-handed and positive. Which sounds better to you?

Whenever the word "should" creeps into your thoughts, recalibrate your thinking to calmly assess what is truly your responsibility. Your clarity will provide a strong base for your assertiveness.

2. You needn't convince others that you're "not guilty."

Once you decide what your actual area of responsibility is, honor your convictions by letting go of defensiveness. You keep your power in your hands when you clarify that your decisions are based on your assessments, not others'.

Refusing to take on guilt-trips rebalances relationships along more realistic lines. When you challenge "you owe me" attitudes, you may also discover mistaken assumptions of your own.

The clarity you achieve can lay the groundwork for more open-handed interactions. Why not take advantage of this opportunity to update relationships that may have become stiff or stale?

3. You are not responsible for others' responses to your choices.

Are you tempted to feel guilty, argue or apologize if others express strong anger or disappointment with your decision? They may feel that you are responsible for their letdown, and attempt to punish you for not giving in to their demands.

Ground yourself in reality.

Once you take appropriate responsibility, you owe nothing more. Others needn't agree with you or be happy with your decision. Simply stand firm on the issue in question, and remain as neutral and accessible as possible.

Accept that it may take time for others to stop trying to make you feel guilty. Remember, silent self-affirmations are an effective antidote to feelings of guilt.

Eleanor Roosevelt declared,

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Remember, no one can make you feel guilty without your permission, either.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Reduce-Guilt-Today-Using-3-Top-Strategies&id=10010387

How Our Blindspots May Be Creating Diseases For Us

What are psychological blindspots? They are parts of us on the mental and emotional levels that we are not able to see or we are not aware. Simply because we are too close to the subject matter, and that's us.

So for example, we have a habit of saying some things, or we have a habit of doing some things and we are not aware of them because we do them so unconsciously. And we can only see them if someone else points them out to us. We need someone else, standing outside of us to tell us exactly what our blind spots are.

If you had a cake and the cream landed on your nose and you are not able to see it, there is no way you can see that yourself unless you are standing in front of a mirror. So people around you act as mirrors. They tell you what's on your face.

The thing is, we have no problem having people tell us what's on our faces because we don't want to appear silly with cream on our noses so we don't mind when people tell us this. BUT, we have a big issue when someone tells us about our mental or emotional blind spots. We get all worked up and are like: 'who are you to tell me this is how I am or this is how I behave' and so on.

On the route of personal development, we need to be a little bit more open to people telling us what our blind spots. Here's a suggestion:

You could have a friend you trust to do this thing with you. Create a buddy system where you meet each other once a week or once a month to do this exchange where you share with each other, what you think are their blind spots. Now the trick with this is not to take anything personally because by giving permission to someone to tell you your blindspots, they are doing you a favour so do not attack them in return! Talk about the blind spots in a very factual way without attacking and without blaming, simply addressing them by saying something like: 'you know when this happens you say that and I believe this is a blind spot so you decide if this is something that you want to be more aware of or if this is something you want to work on. The decision is yours, I'm not here to teach you, I'm not here to blame you I am just here to share'.

An example of a blind spot I want to share is my own experience. You know how you get into spiritual beliefs and spiritual teachings that tell us that everything we say has to be positive. So my thing at the time was that I had to say 'yes' because yes is a positive statement. So in my mind, I thought saying yes would be a good thing. However, I kept saying yes to the wrong thing! That was a teaching spiritual belief gone wrong. It taught me the wrong thing, it taught me to not say no to the right thing. What happened was, I kept saying yes to the wrong things and eventually I was burdened with too much to do, too much on my plate not knowing how to say no! What a blind spot!

What do these psychological blindspots do to our psychic bodies?

What are psychic bodies? Our psychic bodies are basically our energy body. Our energy body holds our emotions and our thoughts. When we have blindspots guess what happens? There is a very high chance, if we are not taking care of the blind spots, they become like stubborn stains.

You know the stains we have in our bathroom, or on our clothes, over a period of time the stain is going to change colour, and it is going to look worse and maybe bacteria or mould will build up around it? The same thing happens to the stains in our psychic bodies.

If we allow personal development and consciousness work to take a back seat and we lack awareness of our blind spots, over a period of time there is an accumulation of these mouldy energies. And the interesting thing is that, according to the law of attraction, if you have a build up of pride or anger in your psychic bodies what is going to happen is that it is going to attract even more anger, more energies of pride and over a period of time, you get a psychic tumour.

A psychic tumour is like a physical tumour, it becomes cancerous on the emotional and mental levels. These tumours get lodged within the chakras and the energy body. They also find their places within the energetic level of the liver, stomach, the reproductive system (this is one of the most popular places where tumours find their home). Psychic tumours also create holes in the aura, thereby allowing even more of these energies to enter into our system!

I am not being a fear monger here, but I am just bringing this to your attention because whether we are aware of them or not, they do exist. Sadness, anger, jealousy, they exist, you have experienced them, so where do they reside? Not your physical body, but definitely your emotional/psychic bodies.

You know to take a shower or bath when you are not clean physically, it is important to be able to do the same on the psychic level. Clear them through meditation. I like to offer you this free clearing meditation, it is available on my Fb group (under the announcement tab): https://www.facebook.com/groups/onlinecoffeeteashop/announcements/

Most of my clients are using them because it helps to keep their energy bodies clear. You do not have to be religious or spiritual in any way to use the meditation even though there will be names that will be mentioned in the meditation that may sound kind of spiritual. If you don't mind that and you just want something to help you like in a visualisation exercise to help you cleanse your psychic bodies, do download it for your personal usage.

Til next time, have a blessed day!

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-Our-Blindspots-May-Be-Creating-Diseases-For-Us&id=10029371

Message From the Universe: Life's Possible Outcomes

"Shall I remind you that the reason you care so much, sometimes even worry so much, is because there still exists between you and life, a passionate love affair.

And because of this, everything's going to be just fine.

xxoo,

The Universe"

Never take life too seriously, as many stress experts would say. Embracing changes with open arms doesn't make you a passive person; it just allows you to learn how to be more flexible and more understanding to life's uncertainties. To truly understand what happiness should be is to accept the things you can't control, and whatever that is, figure out how to extract the positive out of every negative situation. You need to look at things with a different pair of lenses, where the old you would focus too much on the bad where the good is something looking you straight in the eyes but you are too blind to pay attention. Obviously, some bad things in life do not have any positive outcomes, no matter how positive you are, but these are the moments where you should take a step back and allow yourself time to analyze the existing situation and make your own conclusion. Sometime, these moments do not have any conclusion at all, and that is absolutely fine.

Life will do whatever it wants and unless you learn to accept that, you will never really live your life. Constantly fighting against it is a lost battle, so why bother. Just imagine facing Mike Tyson in the boxing ring at his peak where he had the opportunity to train hard while you never bothered working out prior to the fight. Based on this scenario, tell me how that will turn out for you. Not too good right? Well, try looking at life the same way. There are things that we can't change no matter how hard we try. Whatever comes in between your concerns of life and the actual outcomes of your life, you need to learn how to appreciate things more and be grateful.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Lifes-Possible-Outcomes&id=9980410

Are You Or Someone You Love Struggling With Anxiety?

"Smile, breathe, and go slowly."

~Thich Nhat Hanh

1) A Hard Dose Of Reality Could Make The Anxiety Worse. Telling someone with anxiety problems to "calm down" or "relax" does not help. This advice is not easy to do when someone is suffering from anxiety problems. People with anxiety issues are not choosing to have these problems, so using tough love does not help either. Do not tell the anxious person to "suck it up" or just face the thing that is making them anxious. This tends to heighten their anxiety level and thus makes the symptoms worse.

2) Do Not Ridicule Someone With Anxiety In An Effort To Force Them Out Of The Anxiety. Most anxious thoughts are distorted to some degree and the anxious person knows it. It does not help if you tell them that they are "being crazy". And you do not have to keep pointing their distorted thoughts out to them. So do not make fun of them or tell them their thought processes are stupid. Instead, maintain a calm demeanor in how you let them know that the distorted thoughts are not real.

3) Give Reassurance To A Point. Usually a sincere dose of reassurance is quite soothing to someone who is anxious. Reassurance should be similar to how you would reassure a child during a storm and the child is afraid. You would tell the child, "Everything is going to be okay." When the child comes back with "How do you know?" You calmly respond, "Everything is going to be okay." and the child goes back to playing.

If the need for reassurance is too exhausting, then offer to go with the anxious person to therapy. This will get the anxious person professional help and will help you step back from possibly getting dragged down by your efforts to provide help and reassurance.

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

~Steven Hayes

4) Anxiety Problems Are Fixable. When you are struggling with anxiety, it can feel quite overwhelming and the ability to get better may seem hopeless. The good news is that with the right help, anxiety problems can be resolved. Do not give up hope. Even if you feel like you have tried everything, your problems are fixable. The secret is to keep reading, researching, trying new therapists, going to different medical specialists. The trick is to not give up and unfortunately learn to live with the anxiety problems. You and your family will adapt to the limitations created by the anxiety if you do not get help and each of you will be negatively impacted.

5) Talking Out The Anxiety Can Help. A friend or family member who has a supportive ear and a patient personality can make a huge difference. Just be careful not to exhaust them as mentioned above. A good rule of thumb is to try and have at least three people that you can talk to about your anxiety. I suggest that one of them be a therapist who is trained in treating anxiety issues. The therapist is not only a supportive ear but also a trained ear and can pick up on things that a friend or loved one may have missed. The therapist can teach skills that will stop the anxiety from ruling your life.

"You don't have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you."

~Dan Millman

6) Talking Out The Anxiety Can Make It Worse. On the flip side, by over talking about your anxieties, it can make them bigger and more overwhelming. The fears will become more vivid and real. This is how the support person usually gets exhausted in their efforts to help because no matter what is said or suggested, it is never enough. The problems just keep getting bigger and bigger. This usually leads to the anxious person becoming a recluse who is afraid to leave their house in an effort to prevent any of their fears from coming true.

7) Medication May Be Needed Whether You Like It Or Not. A lot of people balk at the suggestion of medication but are quick to say they wish they had not waited so long once they tried it. A skilled medical professional can prescribe medication that can quickly curb the symptoms that have been controlling your life and the lives of your family members who love you and watched you lose the life you once had. If you are terribly afraid of medications for whatever reason, I usually suggest to people that they at least try the proper medication for a thirty day period and just see if it works. The results are usually fast and very encouraging.

8) Get Plenty Of Sleep And Avoid Caffeine Products. If you are experiencing anxiety, you need to get 6 to 8 hours of sleep per night. If you do not get the proper amount of sleep; do not try to make up for the loss of sleep with the use of caffeine products and energy drinks in order keep yourself going. These supplements can quickly exacerbate anxiety symptoms and thus create a vicious cycle in which you will get trapped in a feeling of hopelessness.

9) Use Exercise As A Stress Reliever. Exercise is very powerful in overcoming anxiety. Regular exercise will help release anxiety and at the same time will help you sleep better at night.

"Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future."

~Deepak Chopra

https://ezinearticles.com/?Are-You-Or-Someone-You-Love-Struggling-With-Anxiety?&id=9861439

Tips for Reducing Stress Long Term

So many people tell me that they are overwhelmed and stressed out. They also state that they don't know how to fix this. Following are ten things you can do that will reduce your stress and bring some peace into your life:

1. Pay your bills - Make sure that what you owe is manageable. Better yet, pay cash for purchases and ensure that all invoices and loans payments are made before the due date.
2. Get enough rest - Turn off the television and computer. Have a warm bath and then crawl into a comfortable bed where it is quiet and dark. If you aren't getting adequate rest, nothing will go as well as you might hope.
3. Protect your body - Are you feeding yourself nutritious food that you have planned and prepared in advance? Do you limit your alcohol, sugar, and caffeine intake? Make sure you have at least eight glasses of water a day and only ingest drugs that are prescribed.
4. Work hard - There are few things better than feeling a "good tired" after investing your time and talents into a project. My dad was a wonderful role model. He always had a full-time job and a second income that had flexible hours.
5. De-clutter - When you are surrounded by things that you don't need your life becomes too complex. You can't find things and feel weighed down/ Time is wasted when you are looking for things or trying to live around the clutter.
6. Re-work your calendar - Busyness is not a virtue. I am frequently amazed when people tell me how busy they are as though this makes them valuable. At the same time, they present as tired, disorganized and often suffering from illnesses that go on and on.
7. Stop trying to please everyone - Your role is not to be a friend to your child. You do not need to sacrifice your time to repeatedly help people who do not help themselves. People who focus on meeting the needs (and wants) of others often end up being resentful because their needs are neglected.
8. Add pleasurable activities to every week - Make sure that you do something every single week that feeds your soul. Go for a walk, listen to music, court a hobby.
9. Read biographies - Most life stories tell stories of individuals who faced difficulties and, through effort and consistency, embraced some form of achievement. We can learn from the experiences of others if we will just pay attention.
10. Choose relationships carefully - Don't impulsively believe that a person is who s/he says they are. Prince Charming and Cinderella are fictional characters. Not everyone lives happily ever after especially when they are fantasy rather than reality based.

You can make things better in your life. It will take work and time, but the rewards are well worth it.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Tips-for-Reducing-Stress-Long-Term&id=10127700