Uprooting Fear and Planting Love
As you gain the habit of recognizing how love and fear in all forms and to all degrees show themselves to you in your life, you're building the foundation for the next step of your personal evolution. You'll then be able to consciously choose which you wish to experience, to what degree, and when.
It may seem ridiculous that anyone would consciously choose to experience any form of fear. However, there are times when it is desirable in order to broaden one's knowledge about fear and its effect on aspects such as one's health or a current situation. There is much value in the knowledge to be gained when learning about fear.
Fear is not to be avoided, but is instead to be welcomed as an opportunity to learn. Avoidance of fear won't make it go away. On the contrary, avoidance of fear only makes it grow.
An old farmer once taught me a lesson about fear and how to get rid of it. Using Tansy Ragwort, which is poisonous to grazing animals such as the horses I had at the time, as an example he said that cutting it down only makes the plant stronger. It grows back even larger - or meaner, as he put it. He said that the only way to get rid of Tansy is to pull it out by the roots.
Fear is like Tansy Ragwort in that respect. Avoiding fear is like cutting the Tansy down, which is a temporary solution at best and only results in making it stronger, or "meaner", when it returns. The only way to make a fear go away is by pulling the entire issue up by the roots. Once you have it completely uprooted, you can examine it, revealing the learning it offers you. It then becomes a powerful tool for you to use in creating that which you desire.
Once the learning is accomplished, the next step is to welcome the love that replaces the fear, for love will always do so. When fear is released, love fills the hole that the roots of fear left when it was uprooted.
Again, the challenge is to recognize the love, just as you learned to recognize the fear. It may come in the form of compassion, forgiveness, joy, or any one of the gazillions of forms of love.
This is why it is of vital importance to learn how to recognize both love and fear. This is not always easy, so here's one method to make it easier: make a list. Lists, mind maps, treasure maps, and other such tools serve to remind you and support you in consciously being aware of what you want to attract or manifest.
You'll need two sheets of paper, one each for Love and for Fear. Begin with the list of fears, for two reasons - because it's easier for us to recognize fear and because ending up with the love list is like eating your veggies first (fear) and then enjoying dessert (love) afterward. A delicious reward!
When you've listed as many forms of each as you can, post the lists where you'll see them often. By your desk, for example. Add to the lists as you begin to notice more ways you recognize love and fear.
Each time you witness an example of love or sense it within yourself, stop for a moment and acknowledge it. The same goes for fear. Whenever you hear words of fear or see an act of fear coming from yourself or others, acknowledge it silently to yourself. In both cases, congratulate yourself on become more aware of how many ways you notice both love and fear in your life. As you do so, you ready yourself for the next step: transforming fear into love.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Uprooting-Fear-and-Planting-Love&id=10420145
What to Do When Overwhelmed by Your Reality?
At times, life feels like an overwhelming affair. There's too much to do, too much to think, too much to worry about. What can we do to fight that feeling?
Sometimes life seems to be too much to bear. Some people feel overwhelmed by the constant rush and the many things to do. Others just can't stand the incessant murmur of their never-ending thoughts. Some, still, can't cope with their feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. They all try different solutions, among which maybe meditation or mindfulness could be tested, but that is often just not enough to counteract the feeling.
Let us go over some of the causes of such feelings, first, to then study some possible tools and solutions.
- Too many things to do: most of us have grown up in societies in which competition and success are paramount and the true measure of our value. As a consequence, we feel obliged to constantly aim at greater, higher goals. Being good is never enough, as excellence and supremacy are the only acceptable levels. This type of belief, inherited from our environment, pushes us to constantly seek more, do more, expect more of ourselves. There's a whole world to impress in front of us and that demands that we devote most of our time to doing things that will get us closer to our goal and that any free time we happen to find, we also use pursuing our constant improvement.
- Too many thoughts: rumination starts in most human beings as a form of daydreaming. Already in childhood, some people devote quite a lot of their time to letting themselves get lost in their thoughts while disconnecting from reality. What soon becomes a habit is almost invariably paired with negative projections of that future, as we learn to worry about what may be or what may happen. Very few people ruminate about positive, happy things; most do about negative, worrisome or painful ones. Constant thinking about negative aspects quickly becomes a way of life and those who embark on it find it difficult to change the pattern. Any form of rumination, be it focused on the past or the future, yields certain chemicals and sensations that our brain soon becomes addicted to. Not having them can cause withdrawal-like symptoms and result in a permanent need to recreate them. Thus, the rumination continues, grows and becomes never-ending.
- Living in the past: when human beings ruminate, they usually do so focused on two different scenarios, and only those two: the past or the future. When in the past, they are trying to make sense of something that happened that still makes them feel guilty, sad or hurt. Not being able to change whatever happened then often overwhelms them and makes them feel powerless.
- Living in the future: when in the future, people are trying to ready themselves to face something that scares them, constantly asking themselves, 'what if... ?' The more time they spend in those scenarios, the more often they need to return. People who spend so long in the future in their minds become overwhelmed by the wide range of possible difficulties and hurdles they may encounter and by the growing belief in their failure to succeed.
- Feeling inadequate or insecure: many people suffer from low self-esteem or insecurities which are the result of weak beliefs and convictions. When a person holds strong beliefs, there is no insecurity. It comes from uncertainty and doubt. Those who feel like they're not good enough or insufficient, tend to find it hard to cope with their circumstances and the reality around them, not because it is posing them too many challenges but because they think they are not capable or strong enough. Everything becomes complicated and one problem piles on top of the next until people feel completely overwhelmed.
- First of all, take a deep breath. Nothing will change if you can't stop for a second and focus on the task at hand. The more unfocused you are, the harder it will get. This applies to all the possible causes mentioned above: the more you worry, the more anxious you get and the less energy you then have to really face up to your problems. By the time you need to overcome them, you are exhausted.
- Second, focus on the HERE and the NOW. The more time you spend either in the past or in the future...
- the less time you have to focus on the problem at hand;
- the less energy you have when you finally decide to tackle the situation in front of you;
- the less aware you are of the real circumstances around you and the less resources you are then able to perceive and find; and
- the less you learn for future, similar situations.
In order to be in the here and the now, you need to make the conscious effort to do so. You need to fight the habit that drives you away into the past or the future. A good tool to use is any form of mindfulness:
- focusing on one object around you and assessing it using your 5 senses: smell, touch, taste, hearing and sight;
- focusing on feeling your ten toes without actually moving them;
- engaging on any type of activity by totally submerging yourself in it through your 5 senses.
Another important tool to be used is drastically stopping whatever you are doing and doing just the opposite or something completely different. For instance, if you're sitting and you suddenly realize you're ruminating or getting carried away into your mind, stand up and start moving. Or, if you're walking, just sit down anywhere or start dancing. Changing our actions forces us to be in the here and the now.
Third, use the Kaizen technique. We often feel overwhelmed, as was already discussed above, when there's too much on our plate. We have important goals to reach and those feel unreachable. Kaizen implies reducing our goals to more manageable steps and taking those steps, one by one. So, if you for instance, need to exercise because the doctor told you to, running or cycling for one hour everyday might sound like an impossible task. Applying this Japanese technique, you would start by only doing it for 5 minutes the first day and celebrating achieving that little milestone. The second day you would do it for just 10 minutes, then celebrate it, and so on until reaching the desired 60 minutes. Celebrating the small steps is a fundamental part of the process because it helps us change our beliefs and boosts our self-esteem.
Fourth, identify and question the beliefs that make you doubt yourself. In order to do this, I usually recommend using a "self-talk diary," a notebook (or recording system) in which to note down any negative or critical self-talk we catch ourselves using. All those messages to ourselves hide our deepest beliefs. An example would be you telling yourself... 'I will never get the promotion because nobody likes me,' which is another way of telling yourself that you're not likeable or worthy. Identify all the labels you give yourself in order to understand why your self-esteem is so low. Those are the messages you keep on telling yourself. Are you surprised you feel insecure? Do this for at least a couple of weeks.
Once you identify your beliefs (through those labels and messages), ask yourself wether they empower you or limit you and if you wish to keep them. If you decide to let them go, you will need to find a replacement, as no belief can be simply erased. In order to find a replacement, look for a message that cancels the previous one and start repeating it to yourself. There is one important rule here: the new message can not be the opposite of the previous one, because your brain will just not believe it. It needs to be one that partially cancels it, opening a new avenue for you. Using the same example as before, you might have been telling yourself that you're not likeable. Your new message could be something like, "some people like me," or "I sometimes like myself," or even, "there's a lot in me to be liked." Once you repeat it often enough, you might start feeling it come true. At that moment, celebrate the feeling. The more you do this, the easier it will be for you to start accepting the new belief and replacing the old one. Warning: question and change only one belief at a time and don't start on a second one until having worked on the first one for at least two weeks. Questioning too many beliefs simultaneously can lead to crises.
Fifth, use tool number 4 to also question yourself about your beliefs regarding competition and success. What do you believe about them? What are your expectations? What messages do you give yourself? Do they empower or limit you? Do you want to keep them?
Feeling overwhelmed is extremely prevalent and limiting. Use this information to start understanding and managing the reasons behind your feelings and things will quickly start changing for you. You have the power to change the way in which you interpret your circumstances and your reality. Start letting go of those limitations and take better control of your life.
The process described above is a summary of many of the techniques and strategies used in humanology and should best be implemented with the help of expert humanologists, the professionals that study and explain human beings.
Enjoy life... ALL of it,
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Discover Why Self-Fulfillment Begins With You, Not a Job
When you wake up in the morning, do you immediately believe this is going to be a rewarding day? Do you look forward to what's ahead and know you will be able to feel good, regardless of what transpires throughout the day?
This would be the ultimate goal it seems, to have a life which flows easily from day to day, and one in which you are able to feel a sense of purpose no matter what occurs. Yet for most people, this isn't the case. There always is a sense of struggle for many, searching for something to give them hope, looking for happiness in things that can be acquired, basing how they feel upon external circumstances, or any other number of similar factors. In other words, a sense of self-fulfillment is in short supply and often tied to a state of happiness, related to circumstances and fluctuates frequently.
I've thought quite a lot about self-fulfillment as I have a milestone birthday coming up this year, and I know these types of birthdays can prompt reflection. I think back to the difference between the milestones, starting with the difference between my 20s and 30s. The focus was on career development and growth. As time has progressed, I've evolved more into a desire to be involved in work which paves the way for self-actualization for me. As an educator, I find this every day when I'm working with learners, even those who challenge me, as I'm having to continually learn and grow myself.
Then I began to think about finding self-fulfillment when working in less than desirable conditions. Consider the person who works a demanding job, with long hours, rarely receiving recognition or acknowledgement for their hard work. Does this sound familiar to you? Is the type of work itself enough to create a sense of fulfillment, despite the conditions? What I have come to conclude, through time and experience, is this: If you take responsibility for development of your own self-actualization, and you base it on your own achievements, you will always find contentment in your life. I'll share some strategies with you that I have learned along the way.
What is Self-Actualization? Does it Matter?
I've mentioned the concept of self-actualization as it has become important in my life and at my age. Now if you are younger, this may not be as important to you yet. If you are familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it is the highest level, the attainment of your true potential. This is after you have met all other needs, including your self-esteem needs, which are related to status and recognition. I know of many people who are in their 50s and 60s who still are pursuing their self-esteem needs, which means they are still seeking status and recognition in their career.
Typically, actualization occurs later in life, though there are no set rules and you can begin to experience it at any age. You will know you are in the process of seeking self-fulfillment when the idea of chasing the next big promotion or job title is no longer enough to make you happy and instead, you want to do something each day that connects with you from the inside. I have read many stories of people who have changed careers later in life, to pursue something they have "always thought of doing" and were "too afraid to do". You likely have heard that as well.
Often when we start our careers, we don't always know what it is we want to do. It's a significant transition to go from high school to adulthood, and the expectation is that you'll go to college and/or know what type of career to pursue. I started a career to pay bills and it evolved over time based upon what I naturally enjoyed doing. I had another career transition in my 40s, from the corporate world to higher education, and it was then I really found what I believed to be my vocation. I have worked like many online educators, who spend long days, nights, and weekends helping learners, and yet, I find such immense satisfaction from my career I cannot imagine doing anything else. This is what it means to find and live self-actualization. You do the work that you love and love the work that you do.
How to Develop a Self-Fulfillment Attitude
It seems that many people are awaiting circumstances to get better, or for the right job to come along, before they can ever find and know true happiness in their career. If this is you, it is possible you might be waiting for quite some time, as there is no predicting when circumstances or situations will ever be perfect enough for you to feel good. More importantly, if you tie your personal happiness and well-being to external events or conditions, you are certainly setting yourself up for disappointment. Why? There are certain to be people who are going to let you down. There are going to be managers who will recognize you for your hard work, and others who only contact you when you have done something wrong. More importantly, there is never going to be a perfect job or set of working conditions.
What this means is that you must base your needs, at least the most important of all needs, on that which you can control. If you go back to the definition of self-actualization within Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you'll find it involves the realization of your talents, abilities, and skills. More importantly, it is the awakening of your true potential. Now you may be thinking that this is in fact dependent upon the conditions of your job or external environment, and it can be, if you allow it. But if you want to experience the full essence of your self-awakening, it is time to turn within. You make a transition from dependence on anyone else to only yourself. Perhaps these strategies will assist you.
Self-Reflection for Self-Awakening
If you are feeling a need for something more than advancement in your career, waiting to be recognized, or any other form of external validation, there is already something going on within you that is indicating a transition is in place. Now is the time to begin self-reflection, and you can accomplish this deliberately through a few minutes at a time, rather than viewing it as a long process of lengthy meditation periods. This can be as simple as using a journal, typing notes into a Word document, or any other method you can think of to put your thoughts down as a record.
Why is this important? During a time of transition, there are many thoughts available that you may want to examine, and there are some you may want to question, challenge, or discard. Put those thoughts down on paper, in some format, will help you begin to address them. You do not have to be too concerned about what it all means, rather you want to allow the process of self-awakening to begin. This can allow you to find out what is driving you now, and perhaps, what is motivating the desire for change at this time. You will likely discover something new about yourself in the process.
Self-Awareness to Create Self-Dependence
After you have begun the process of initiating self-awareness, you can now see a clearer picture of who you are and who you want to become. It will now become much easier for you to determine if this next phase of your life, and possibly your career, will involve a shift away from self-esteem needs to self-actualization needs. If this is the case, then you can also start to make a shift from thinking about the conditions and people who need to do things, say things, or create situations to make you feel happy and fulfilled, to considering how you can create your own sense of fulfillment.
This means you are now making a shift to self-dependence for your happiness. At this point you are able to think about the activities you are involved in each week, or the duties and tasks you would like to be involved in, that can bring you the most fulfillment. This may not be a quick or easy process either, especially if you have not thought about your job, life, or daily activities from this perspective. But when you have decided you want to experience a sense of meaning from your life, now is the time to look at what you are doing each week and from that list determine what is most satisfying. This is not to state you can or will make immediate changes; however, you can begin to get to know more about yourself and who you are becoming.
Self-Development to Nurture Self-Actualization
The process of awakening to self-actualization is transformational in that you are now determining what matters most for you, in terms of creating value for your personal and/or professional life. For many people this occurs over time and as a product of age. But once it occurs, you can begin to think in broader terms than just switching jobs. Now you can examine fully those aspects of your week that bring you contentment, and compare it to what you've been thinking about for your life. Perhaps your transition into a new self-awareness will involve simple steps, such as a new hobby to compliment your life, or it will lead you to a career change.
More than likely, you may already have naturally evolved like I did and are working in a career you enjoy. If so, you may want to find other means of expanding upon your talents and skills. I find writing for me is another form of satisfaction, as I'm sharing with others and connecting with a broader audience. The opportunity to share what I've learned, with those who are highly experienced and educated, is always an exciting prospect. This also leads to the prospect of opening up an intellectual dialogue as well. Perhaps you can find an extension of your talents as well, when you continue your self-development in the pursuit of your purpose. Whatever it may be, it is certain to help you find purpose and meaning.
A Job is More than a Job, When You Make It Meaningful
When you have finally gone through a process of transformation, and reached the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you will find yourself living life in a renewed manner. This is not to state you are going to live your life without challenges, or that every job you are employed with will be perfect. But what it does mean is that you can have the best job and find meaning, and you may also have the most demanding job with the toughest of circumstances, and still find your purpose in the work you perform. It isn't the job itself that is meaningful, it is the work you do and the disposition about the work you hold which determines how you connect to it.
If you are in job and decide there is something there that brings you fulfillment, the external circumstances of that job will become much more manageable. There may still be days that are challenging to overcome, and yet, you will still find your purpose through it all because you have awakened to the knowledge you seeking a life of purpose. How you approach the tasks you perform will be much different, and even the most mundane of tasks may now have new meaning. Even if you have to find a new job or career, the realization you are now working towards a new future, one you are in control of now, will give you hope. When you decide to look for meaning within your life or career, and base it upon your needs rather than conditions, then you will find greater purpose, happiness, and long-term fulfillment.
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The Power of Passion
There once was a man, Jack, who worked very hard in his job. He had gone to school in an area of interest and got a job working in a like industry. He found a good wife and they had 3 wonderful children. Life was good in his adult years, but he found himself feeling like he was just on the treadmill of life. He got up every morning, he went to a job that he liked but where he longed for a break, some type of long-awaited vacation. He had lost most of his hobbies, due to the time restraints of working many hours at his job, balanced with trying to take care of and spend time with his family. The dreams Jack had talked about in his youth (travel, starting his own business, becoming an armature golf player, winning fantasy football, etc.) were still in the back of his mind, but only faintly. Jack had a successful life by American standards (income, job, home, family, etc.), but he did not jump out of bed in the morning: he did not have a spring in his step and he seemed to carry a high level of stress. In general, he was happy, but not HAPPY.
This is a story of a man with a great life, but of a man who is lacking PASSION.
What is passion?
Webster defines passion as "a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept."
I define passion as an internal subconscious emotional calling that fuels the perspective, focus and actions you take as you live life and fulfill your purpose in life.
Passion is not obvious, like the ability to throw a football, being a gifted musician or a talented craftsman, or living as an amazing inventor. Passion is not on a conscious level, something that you are thinking about daily and noticing. Passion is more "energetic" in nature and therefore hard to see.
People say they are passionate about their kids, families, hobbies, etc. While these are all admirable, I would say these are interests that bring joy and pleasure. They may also be the tip of your passion or an indicator of your passion. While passion is a common word to describe an emotional state of liking something a lot, the passion we are talking about here is a much bigger concept. Here, it is about the core attributes that drive you and get you excited about life and living.
It is also important to recognize that people often confuse passion with purpose. As I see it, purpose is the vehicle that you ride because of your passion: your purpose is what you do (ex. playing sports, writing music, reading literature, or parenting.). Passion is the fuel and energy that you use to drive: passion is how you are fueled (ex. by creativity, by problem-solving, or by helping people).
Passion is the internal fire burning inside you as a result of using your natural gifts, talents, and purpose here on earth. You have passion before you use it, but it is like a match unlit. Passion gets lit when you use your gifts, talents, and purpose and results in personal fulfillment and "life in the flow," where everything works together and every area of your life is filled with joy, contentment, and synergy.
Why have passion? Is it possible that everyone has a passion or are some people just more "emotional"?
Passion is seen as you look out into the world and selflessly allow yourself to be an instrument, using your gifts and talents. As you do this, you will begin to see your reflection and therefore more readily identify your passion. After you identify your passion, by experiencing the lit fire inside, you are able to focus in and use those gifts and talents more - your purpose and passion are united and drive the most fulfilling adventure of your life!
The reward of living a life of passion is incredible! Once you have tasted it, you will crave for its return. It is an amazing overflowing of your heart, body, mind, and soul. You have energy, direction, purpose, and focus. As humans, we all want this, but sometimes it seems too hard to achieve, so we give up, and decide to just enjoy what life gives us.
"What life gives us?" I ask. Don't be fooled, we are not here on earth to be floating down a river on an inner tube, just passively taking in what life has to offer. You will not find passion in that inner tube. You might hit some rapids and get a little taste of it here and there, however, if you want to know what living a life of passion means and is, you have to go look for it.
Life can dish out some hard knocks, tough lessons, challenges, and adversity. How you handle those are up to you. You see, there is a quote that states, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with it." The more you can look at life as a lesson, something to learn from and a gift, the happier you will be. The more you are living in your purpose and passion, the easier it is to see things from this perspective. Do you want to have this synergy in your heart, body, mind, and soul? Do you want to be content, overflowing with joy and being of value to the world?
Jack Finds Passion
Jack became tired of stumbling through life. He did some investigation and found out a few things: he enjoys the outdoors, being invigorated by the fresh air, strategic thinking, and intellection. Earlier, when he was playing golf he was engaging a few of these passions, an appreciation of nature, strategic thinking, and intellection. He had stopped playing golf because of a lack of time. The irony is that after picking the hobby back up, he seems to have more time and energy.
At work, he also noticed that his job had become dull because he was not reading the statistical reports like he did when he had first started his job. Back then, when he read the reports, it motivated him and got him excited about driving strategies that would save the company time and money. So, he started reading the reports again and found himself more engaged at work. The momentum helped him do things faster, be more positive and actually finish up on time many days so that he could get home to his kids.
Since Jack was getting home on time, there was a little break before dinner when he could go outside and play with the kids: he loved throwing the ball and teaching little Jake how to ride his bike! It even inspired him to equip the family to embrace Saturday morning rides on the local park trail.
As Jack realized that his passions were being outside in nature, using his intellectual abilities and creating solutions and strategies, he found that these same things showed up in every area of life. It was exciting and compelling! He was happy, fulfilled and had found a synergy in every area of his life.
You now know what passion is. You now know the benefit of inviting passion into your life. Take the time to explore your personal passions and to integrate them in your life. Passion is a phenomenal gift. If you want to LIVE life to the fullest and enjoy it along the way, take the time to discover your passions. Put them into your daily life. You will find you have time for everything you did before and more.
Building a Strong Body Part 2: Tao of Stress Management Series
https://ezinearticles.com/?Building-a-Strong-Body-Part-2:-Tao-of-Stress-Management-Series&id=9544726
Unhappy People - Why Some People Would Rather Be Unhappy Than Happy
Do you know how to be happy on the roller coaster ride of life? No matter how well off some people are, they would rather be unhappy than happy. Do you know why? Read on to find out.
Here are a few reasons:
1) They have been wired to think negative from their childhood. They cannot change their attitude. They would rather remain unhappy which is ideal for them.
2) They had suffered from some trauma in their childhood and they cannot change their frown to a smile. They are unable to let go of the past.
3) They compare themselves to others without being aware of the fact that they have fewer problems than their neighbors. Nevertheless, they can't help envying their neighbors' assets, properties and their lot.
4) They have never known what peace of mind is. Their life has been a total turmoil and they have been going down with the abyss of darkness. They are unable to turn things around and have cluttered minds. Little do they know there is a way to getting what they want and have peace of mind.
5) They do not follow morning rituals unlike what so many people of modern day do. They like to be lazy and remain unhappy. They have never known the magic of morning rituals.
6) They do not believe in personal development and are rather of the older generation. Personal development has taken the world by the storm and everybody in the modern day wants to become their best version through self-help books and programs. But some people do not find interest in them, remain backward and experience unhappiness all the time.
7) For some people, happiness has no meaning for them. They would rather complain, grumble, blame others, lose their temper, behave badly and remain unhappy.
8) They do not know what would interest them to earn their living. So they stick to toilsome routine work which is not lively or interesting. They haven't known how easier and flexible it would have been if they found out what they loved to do passionately and monetize it, rolling in money more smoothly. Rather they would do something of monotony bearing no happiness or delight.
When people who remain unhappy cannot be helped, they become outcasts and aliens in the society. Yet probably these people would still like to remain old-fashioned, be out of reach of help and stay unhappy.
Under these circumstances, if an organization like NGO and/or volunteers took some measures to help and make them understand the reality, maybe there could be some fresh round of hope for this minority of unhappy people.
Building a Strong Body: Tao of Stress Management
https://ezinearticles.com/?Building-a-Strong-Body:-Tao-of-Stress-Management&id=9543769
Improve Self Esteem: The Ultimate Tips
https://ezinearticles.com/?Improve-Self-Esteem:-The-Ultimate-Tips&id=9407438
Aaaaand, Another One Bites The Dust (By Kitty Rochester)
https://ezinearticles.com/?Aaaaand,-Another-One-Bites-The-Dust&id=9804909
Choosing Your Endless
Infinite, interminable, never-ending; these are words we associate with endless. Some inspire positive emotions while others seem almost foreboding; yet all describe the same word, endless. On reflection, there are few things we actually believe are endless in life. We describe the breadth of emotions in this way when we believe a loving relationship will never be interrupted; it is infinite and we are hopeful and happy. Never-ending is frequently used to describe emotional turmoil or situations that try us beyond endurance with no acceptable solution in sight. We believe there never will be a solution and so endless becomes never-ending. How will endless describe your life?
One that is positive, hopeful and happy requires boundaries that must be established and honored. This is not always easy to do. If you grew up in an environment where boundaries were not in evidence you may not even be aware that they are missing. Worse, you may not understand the importance of having them. People who proclaim that their life is an open book may never have enjoyed boundaries in their life. Personal privacy is more than a right; it is necessary to protect thoughts, hopes and dreams in life. These most intimate thoughts should only be shared with trusted people who will support and encourage you. Those who share everything with everyone who will listen significantly decrease their odds in achieving the best they can become. It opens too many pathways to negativity that can impede the way to achieve those things; even in your closest relationships.
Good boundaries require respect and consideration from those you interact with beyond casual acquaintances. To do less breaks through the protective boundaries established and is not tolerable. Oddly enough, the people willing to crash through your boundaries are well aware of them. When this happens you can be sure that they have willfully violated this protection and chosen to disrespect them and your feelings in the process. This is where your choices enter how the word endless will apply to your life.
Pretending not to see this kind of behavior destroys your boundaries. Accepting unacceptable behavior or disrespect towards you or the things or people you care about is the primary symptom of marginalized boundaries. It is important to recognize that this has occurred and then act on it. It is an important step towards respecting yourself. A failure to do so will ensure that more of the same behavior is on the way. This can be the beginning of never-ending situations in your life.
To have an infinite 'endless' in your life is far more positive and joyful and is worth the effort to cultivate. It usually begins with respecting yourself and clearly defining what is disrespectful to that ideal. If you are unsure where to draw the line take a good look at how you protect the people in your life that you love and respect. Look closely at where you draw the line for how others must respect and treat them. That is the correct place to draw your own and then set your boundary in place. Love yourself as much as you love them; demand respect for yourself as much as you demand others respect them.
Love is a teaching as well as a learning experience in life. We learn the very best that can be given and received; we can use that to teach others how to treat us. It's important to choose your 'endless' in life.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Choosing-Your-Endless&id=10033556
Oh No, I'm Dying!
https://ezinearticles.com/?Oh-No,-Im-Dying!&id=9930163
How To Let Go of Over-Responsibility
We tend to grasp onto what feels familiar, no matter how limiting or uncomfortable. If you're a sensitive person, you might be holding onto the belief that you're responsible for far more than is actually possible. It may feel incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to let go of responsibility.
Many of my clients complain of feeling overwhelmed, and sometimes resentful of the load they're carrying. Fortunately, even in the most challenging circumstances, it's possible to make changes that will lighten the load.
Here are some signs you might be dealing with over-responsibility:
Feeling responsible for Others' Feelings - How often do you walk around not only feeling others' feelings, but also feeling responsible for changing them?
Feeling Responsible for Others' Mistakes - Do you ever feel in some way responsible when a family member, partner, or friend, acts out in anger or other challenging ways?
Taking responsibility for Others' Problems - How often do you step into the role of "the only one" who can solve the problems of the family, office, social setting?
Feeling like you have to fix or save the world - Do you ever feel overly stressed about problems in the world, and responsible to fix things?
How to let go of over-responsibility:
Practice awareness. Become aware of all that you feel responsible for. Notice the difference between the different types of responsibilities you take on. Which ones feel heavy? Which ones feel light? Which ones feel right? Which ones trigger resentment? Which ones feel impossible?
Decide which responsibilities are truly yours. For example, these responsibilities will typically include do-able practices and actions related to your health, your mood, your mind, and certain aspects of your job, family, and social and global situations.
Get clear about responsibilities that are not truly yours. Other people's feelings, behavior, and problems...
Decide which responsibilities you'd like to let go. For example consider letting go of: Trying to fix someone's mood. Taking on too much. The belief that you're responsible for everything and everybody in your life. Feeling responsible for things you cannot control.
Ask for Help -- Asking for help can feel difficult for the overly-responsible person. However, it's crucial. Choose responsibilities to delegate or to share with another. Ask a family member, friend, or colleague for help. You might be surprised... people will often say YES.
Surrender overly-challenging or impossible responsibilities. On a piece of paper, draw a line down the center to form two columns. Label the left-hand column MINE, and write down responsibilities you know you can handle. Label the right-hand column UNIVERSE and write down responsibilities that aren't yours, or those that you struggle with. Imagine surrendering these responsibilities to a greater source of help and inspiration. Imagine the possibility of welcome solutions, and new forms of assistance.
Another way to do this is to write each overly-challenging/impossible responsibility on a small piece of paper. Place them in a box or jar labeled Universe. (or Surrender, or Source, or God, or Goddess... )
Use Meditation and Creative Visualization: Meditate on letting go of extra layers of responsibility and stress. See yourself able to easily let go of what's not yours to handle. Instead of engaging with each responsibility, allow your breath to assist the release. Envision yourself centered in your strength, knowing what's yours, and letting go of the rest.
Use EFT Tapping: EFT tapping is effective for helping to release stress and anxiety when you're feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities. Tapping helps to lower cortisol, and increases blood flow to the thinking part of the brain. This will help you deal more effectively with your challenges.
Let go, surrender, allow.
https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Let-Go-of-Over-Responsibility&id=9992312
You Can Choose
- Protect yourself from information involving world catastrophes - If you are anxious about weather systems or traumatic events that are happening in other locations you would probably be wise to turn off the television and internet. There isn't anything that you can do about these things and filling your mind with doom and gloom with just negatively impacts your well-being.
- Wallow in your personal misery - If you want to just sit and commiserate without taking action, chances are that nothing will get resolved. Fretting about family conflict, finances or your career could end up causing you both physical and mental pain. I remember a children's book that I would read to my children when they were young. One of the main characters was Fred Flintstone. He was trying to help an acquaintance who was always miserable. At the end of the story Fred came to the conclusion that some people just aren't happy unless they are miserable! Hopefully that won't be you!
- Do nothing about the problem but change your attitude - Perhaps you are not prepared to take action but can learn to accept the problems without angst. Many people put one foot in front of the other for years and years in jobs that they do not love. They won't consider making a change but continue on without complaint because they feel that they are receiving financial benefits and don't have better options. Others stay in relationships where they aren't happy but honour the commitment they made to stay married without complaining aloud.
- Research and form a plan to create change - Perhaps you need to speak with someone who has expertise in the area where you are struggling. Reaching out to an objective party could be exactly the thing that will help you deal with the problems you have been experiencing. Maybe you will enroll in an education program, work with a financial planner or discuss your psychological problems with a therapist. Gathering information will give you a much broader perspective.
- Make change happen! The day that you begin to take action, things begin to change. That doesn't mean that everything will immediately be perfect but the chances of coming to a better place in life are optimized. One step at a time you will begin to notice things. Adopting a new menu will lead to your clothes fitting better. Spending less than you earn will quickly begin a path to financial health. Cleaning one drawer will begin a process for organizing your life!
https://ezinearticles.com/?You-Can-Choose&id=10145715
Addressing Pain Without Feeding Addiction
The opioid addiction epidemic in the United States is claiming more lives than guns or cars. Today, fatal overdoses exceed deaths by shooting rampages and road fatalities across the country. According to the American Academy of Pain Medicine (AAPM), millions suffer from chronic pain each year, leading to a skyrocketing rise in healthcare and rehabilitation costs and a steep decline in productivity. The need of the hour is to understand the nationwide chronic pain problem, and the detrimental impact of medications used to treat the condition.
Analgesics, such as codeine and morphine, and prescription drugs, like Vicodin and OxyContin, work wonders in numbing the intense pain signals by inhibiting the neuron cell receptors in the brain. But the neuron cell or opioid receptors that respond to pain signals also regulate emotional impulses, such as feelings of euphoria, urges to get high and the desire for reward. Such a correlation increases the risk of addiction.
Knowing factors that fuel opioid addiction epidemic
A habitual drug use may produce noticeable behavioral or personality changes, including irritability, restlessness and anxiety. Several factors are responsible for the rampant use of opioids among Americans, some of which are:
Easy availability of drugs: Medical practitioners and doctors prescribe a variety of addictive drugs, such as pain relievers, relaxants, antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications to patients. While they prove to be beneficial to some, there are others who do not need such drugs. They generally tend to leave unused portions in their medicine cabinet, which can be easily obtained and abused by anyone.
False notion of security: Normally, first-time drug abusers assume that anything prescribed by a registered physician is safe to use. This could lead to potential abuse, as they might not be aware of the side effects of prescription drugs.
Legitimate pain leading to addiction: Even after experiencing healing, there are many who find it tough to quit prescription painkillers as they are addicted to these drugs. There are others who need larger doses as they tend to develop tolerance to the medicine.
Tips to minimize addiction to opioids
The body of a person with drug addiction problem builds a tolerance to the increased levels of dopamine, causing long-term changes in the brain's reward system. Drug dependence can have far-reaching impacts, affecting almost every organ in the human body. But, certain self-help strategies can help combat the urge.
Identifying vulnerability levels: Before prescribing any medications to manage pain, doctors must weigh the factors that could lead to addiction, such as family history of addiction to various substances or a history of mood and personality disorders.
Considering alternative options: Those susceptible to addiction should be recommended other alternatives to manage pain, such as physical therapy, psychotherapy, acupuncture, tai chi and other non-opiate medications.
Using medications as directed: Care should be taken not to misuse medications as a coping tool for unrelated problems.
Seeking help: Addiction to medications is highly unpredictable. Advice from a specialized doctor can help eliminate any kind of addiction.
Storing medications safely: Keeping opiates away from the reach of others, including children, teenagers or adults, can help avoid their misuse.
The way forward
An addiction may interfere with an individual's ability to make decisions and can lead to frequent cravings. This is when a person needs professional help to get rid of this devastating habit and lead a normal life.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Addressing-Pain-Without-Feeding-Addiction&id=9566932
Joy - What Brings It to Our Lives?
No one expects to be happy through suffering hardship and troubles. But of themselves, an easy life, good health and fitness, do not mean we are necessarily joyful. Joy is surely more than just being born with a sunny disposition. More than just experiencing the joy of one's sports team scoring a goal, or feeling a sense of joy and pride in one's home. What then does bring joy to our lives?
Joy from worldly pleasure?
You might place a bet on the lottery hoping for great wealth. However, study after study by psychologists show no correlation between wealth and happiness. This is so except in cases of poverty when extra income does relieve suffering and bring security.
If you have all the possessions you ever dreamed of, yet another gizmo, smart car, foreign holiday or more nice clothes are not going to make you full of joy.
Or perhaps your aspirations are modest. But of themselves, food, drink, rest, comfort, and sexual pleasure can only provide temporary happiness. We soon get satiated. The thought of that extra cream bun is enough to make you feel sick.
Does fame make us happy? I'm not famous so I don't know. But some celebrities seem to end up either shunning the limelight or just discontentedly craving more and more attention.
Some people want to get their own way. But does this bring happiness? Tyrants for example are always watching their backs for those who oppose them and never seem content.
Psychologist Oliver James has pointed out in his book Affluenza that it's a mistake to attach one's sense of worth and well-being to something transient, like one's looks, one's job, money or fame, because these things may not last for ever. In other words happiness is not something one can attain for oneself but arises as a consequence of how one spends one's time and one's outlook on life.
"Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product." (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Self esteem and confidence
Happiness in life may depend on having a sense of personal autonomy so we act in accordance with inner standards and preferences, pursuing goals, and resisting social pressures. Alongside this is having the self-acceptance needed to understand and appreciate one's strengths as well as one's weaknesses.
Psychological studies also show fewer symptoms of depression and higher self-esteem come from having the knowledge and skills necessary for managing the demands and responsibilities of daily life. And having the social skills necessary for developing warm, trusting, satisfying relationships, that involve empathy and concern for others.
Also well-being seems to be associated with being open to new experiences, and having a willing attitude towards learning and self-improvement, as well as seeking challenges that broaden one's horizons.
But does all this sense of well-being amount to inner joyfulness?
A sense of self-transcendence
Something beyond yourself is perceived if you have a mystical experience; one that just cannot be put into words. Perhaps involving awe and wonder at the oneness and beauty of the universe. This might involve feeling apart from time and space. A state of inner illumination, and feeling in touch with an unfathomable ultimate reality. But the happy sense of connection with transcendence eventually passes. Consequently, we can ask whether this inner awakening amounts to joy?
Some people have ecstatic experiences as part of emotionally charged atmosphere of a shared religious culture tradition. The excitement is generated by increasing stimulation of dance and music and by appealing to common fears, hopes, or desires. The whirling dervishes intone the divine name and there is circular dancing, whirling and leaping. The hubbub has an air of savagery and animality about it. But is ecstatic social experience really the same as a having private lasting joy?
Generosity of spirit
The book City of Joy by Dominique Lapierre is an amazing true story about the Anand Nagar slum in Calcutta in the 1970's. Based on thorough research, including two hundred interviews in various languages, it has a fascinating authentic ring.
The reader discovers the plight of peasants who came from famine-struck rural areas in India. Death from malnutrition was a very real possibility. They slept on the city streets and, if they were lucky, worked very long hours in appalling conditions to scrape together survival rations. It is a tough book to read but it demands the reader's attention. Its power comes from the vivid detailed non-stop descriptions of the terrible hardship yet compassion of the inhabitants. Despite their suffering they had a lack of self-orientation in their attitude. There are amazing accounts of a generosity of spirit of those, themselves, in dire need.
"No one has a right to consume happiness without producing it." (Helen Keller)
Service
"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy." (Rabindranath Tagore)
Mother Teresa's nuns offer dramatic examples of royal giving and the joy it produces. Their lifestyle is austere. They leave the comforts of home and live like the poorest of the poor people they serve. At their central house in Culcutta they live three or four to a room. They only personally possess two dresses and a bucket for washing. They eat the same food as the poor and despite the suffocating Indian heat they have no air conditioning. They rise before dawn and spend their days working in the slums.
"Joy is prayer; joy is strength: joy is love; joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls." (Mother Teresa)
A TV interviewer said "The thing I notice about you and the hundred's of sisters who now form your team is that you look so happy. Is it a put-on?
'Oh no,' she replied, 'not at all. Nothing makes you happier than when you really reach out in mercy to someone who is badly hurt'.
'I swear,' wrote the interviewer afterwards, 'that I have never experienced so sharp a sense of joy.'
The deepest joy apparently comes from selfless concern for others.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Joy---What-Brings-It-to-Our-Lives?&id=9914108
How's Your 'Now'?
Sure you want cars, house and lot, and profit-generating businesses in the future. And I'm certain you've been working day and night to achieve your long-term goals - but there are a few things you could be missing in the process - your 'now'. How does your 'now' look like? I have a few guesses:
1. Enjoying your daily hours of deluxe stay on a bus/van/train, while Facebook, Netflix, Spotify, or YouTube is on a roll, during your commute to and from the office. Take note of "hours".
2. Staying on your toes online for the next piso fare to the place where you've been wanting to go to, on gosh-knows when, probably months or years from now when typhoons usually visit PAR. I'm sure by now you already know that PAR means Philippine Area of Responsibility.
3. Binge-watching your favorite shows online during weekends, if, and only if, you do not have a shift or homework. Would have been lovely if the internet connection has been solid too, but hey, who cares?
4. Waiting for the long weekends to meet with or treat your family or friends from miles away, to eat or go window shopping - something you've been doing repeatedly for quite some time now.
5. Chatting with doctor stranger about your whatever-it-is-this-time condition secondary to selective amnesia, making you forget that you're not a machine. And that, yes, we have to drink water and find time to pee!
Dude, it is time to break the ice and do something new and cool. Make things happen for your 'now's sake. Find time for things you usually just 'like' on social media, while you still have the desire and energy. I certainly do not have a complete list, and yours may be more or less weird than these stuff, but go take a glance at what I have in mind as far as the #MakeItHappen list is concerned.
1. Buy that freaking branded bag or pair of shoes. And if you're thinking of keeping it sealed at home because you think it is too pricy to use, then you probably should just print a photo of it and keep in your wallet. Use it, buddy! Its price should speak for its quality. And tearing it is still way better than not using it at all.
2. Announce that surprise treat for your family or friends. Drag them to a buffet or a nice hotel which could house all of you for a while. It will be unforgettable, and will definitely make you feel good, especially if you've never done this before. I have a feeling this will be your friends' favorite item on this list.
3. Use your vacation leave credits and take your family to Bohol. No specific reason for choosing Bohol - I would just love to see the chocolate hills myself. But there's a lot to see here in our very own country before you even think of flying abroad.
4. Go for a movie marathon, only this time, try hopping from one cinema to another in one day. And leave your mobile phones at home, please!
5. Enroll for an online class be it a short course or an actual degree. If you do not think studying is close to making it up with your 'now', then just pick from 1 to 4.
Not motivated enough to make things actually happen for your 'now'? Just ask your 'past' how he was - nope, not referring to your ex.