Being born to a privileged family or in a certain country is no merit. You did nothing to deserve or choose it. Why, oh why, do so many feel superior just because of that!? Others are born into limiting situations such as poverty and are thus given less choices to start with. But they didn't choose to be born there, either, did they? Why, then, do we judge them? Why do we look at them as lesser beings? Why do we glare at them and feel like they deserve less than we, lucky ones, deserve?
Being born in a certain place entails being exposed to the culture and belief system of such a place. If you're born in Europe, you'll learn certain things at school; if you're born in Kazakhstan, you'll learn others, and if you happen to be born in a little village in Gambia, you'll learn something different as well. What family you're born into will also give you certain opportunities or lack of them. You'll hear or see certain things. You will know nothing else but that, in particular during your first years of life. If you're born to a wealthy family, you might have a lot of people taking care of you, so your time might be devoted to having fun or to learning to behave in society. If you are born to poverty, you might have to devote your time to learning how to find food or something as basic as that. And still, it was no choice of yours.
We feel entitled to judge others just because they happened to be born in other places, in other homes, into other cultures, into other belief systems.
Then you acquire the beliefs that you're exposed to. You learn from your elders. You see and hear whatever surrounds you. You're exposed to nothing else. You're given no choice. And still we judge you.
And equipped with your learnings, your experiences, your view of the world, you start growing into the person you are. Your luggage carries what you could take from your journey so far, what you learned, what you saw, what you were exposed to. But your luggage can only include what you found on your way. It can't include what you didn't learn. It can't include what you couldn't see. It can't include what you never heard. And still, we judge you for your luggage.
We feel entitled to judge others on the basis of their luggage and forget that they often were given no choice at all.
We judge others based on our own experiences and learning; we have no other. But we often neglect to consider what their experiences and learning might have taught them. We judge them based on our views, views that we didn't originally choose; and we judge them for theirs, which they didn't originally choose, either.
We often forget that our beliefs and the way we see the world are the direct result of our experiences and learning and feel superior to others to the point of granting ourselves the right to judge them, when the truth is that we, also, were given no choice.
Only when a person grows up and can hear or see other realities, can that person question his or her own beliefs and decide whether he or she wishes to change them. But who can tell when and how that new learning happens? It doesn't matter, does it? No matter that person's learning and experience, we still want that person to think like us, to behave like us, to accept our views NOW.
A child born in a small village in the Siberian tundra and raised in an orphanage is not equipped to judge what a child his same age born into a small, loving family in Chile says about his life. An adult who never left his hometown will have difficulties understanding some of the things a person who lived in ten different countries tells him. A woman born and raised in the slums of India will not be able to comprehend some of the ideas a Norwegian female lawyer speaks about.
And still we judge them.
Next time you judge another child, another woman, another man for their appearance, their beliefs, their life, their behavior... remind yourself that maybe that human being knows no better as a result of his or her own personal circumstances and refrain from feeling better or superior than him or her. Who would you be, had your circumstances and experiences been like those of the other person? Answer this question in honesty from the depths of your heart. And see the human being behind the circumstances.
A couple of days ago I was telling you here that life is made up of moments, one after the other. Many of those moments include human beings. Next time you find yourself judging someone, why don't you instead choose to devote that one memento to sharing some of your experiences with them, so they can understand where you come from? And, while at it, why don't you ask them to tell you about theirs, so you can also understand them a bit better? If we all had more of those moments in our lives, our worldview would be undeniably wider and deeper and we'd be able to grasp other realities and other beings better. I encourage you to try.
Enjoy life, ALL of it,
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