What Kind of Stories Do You Tell?

We all tell ourselves stories everyday. What kind of stories do you tell? Do you tell stories of how your spouse doesn't understand you, how you boss is incompetent, how you can't afford a vacation, or something along these lines? We all know these stories don't get us anywhere, but "it's reality," we say. Maybe in this red hot moment it is, but is it really the story you want to tell? Why not create your own reality? It's easier than you think.

Words cast spells, that's why its called SPELLING. Words are Energy. Use Wisely. -- from a Pinterest pin. I cant' find the author, but I love it.

Your words and thoughts have power. I recently read The Power of Story by Jim Loehr. He worked with elite athletes to help them achieve more. He says that he could tell very early on when he talked with an athlete if he would be able to help them or not. If their ultimate goal is just to be number one, he knew it wouldn't be enough to sustain them. He talked about a tennis player whose ultimate goal was to be sunshine for the world. She had what it took to keep going even when she didn't win because she could still meet her ultimate goal of being sunshine and bringing joy to others when they watched her play. That's not to say she threw out her other goals and that any goal is unworthy, but it helps to know what our true heart's desire is.

Here's the process in three simple steps:

1. Determine what your desire really is.It's OK to have any goal in the world, but think about why you want the goal. How will you feel when you get the goal? That's what you really want, the feeling. Hold onto the core desire. Even if what you want comes in a different way than imagined, would it be OK as long as you still got to the what you truly want?

2. Drop your old story. Jeannette Maw taught me that your old story is "not an approved chew toy." You have to drop it and replace it with your new story, just like she trained her foster dogs to drop the shoe and chew on an intended chew toy instead.

3.Tell your new story. Tell it to yourself. Write it down.Tell it to a trusted friend. Tell it with more gusto than you put into your old drama. Make it juicy. See it. Feel it. Touch it. Taste it.

Don't make it hard. Tell yourself the story of the perfect job, the hot date, boundless energy, whatever you want, tell the story of having it like you would tell it to someone after it's already yours. If you notice you old story running through your head or coming out of your mouth, STOP! Then pick up your new story.

Here's an example of what the process might look like:

Goal: to be in a wonderful romantic relationship

Deep desire: to feel loved

Old story: The only guys I meet are jerks or weirdos. All the good ones are already married. I'll have to settle for less than I want if I don't want to be alone. I can't believe how bad my dates all turn out to be.

New Story: My new love is perfect for me. From the first date, we just clicked. We both love to dance and eat sushi. I love staring into his hazel eye's. I love the gentle strength he gives off when he puts his arms around me. It give be goosebumps when I breathe in the scent of him, masculine and earthy. I love how he supports me and wants me to spend time with me friends. I love that he has a healthy ambition, but knows how to have fun. His deep laughter delights me and I get to hear it so often because we are always laughing. He was so worth the wait. How lucky can I be?

That's it. Really, that's all you have to do. Now, you could do more. You could notice and appreciate the areas of you life that you already feel loved, maybe by family or friends, but if you keep focusing on your new story that's all it takes to make it into your real story.

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