At What Point Did You Decide That You Aren't Good Enough? (By Hollie Belle)

Something happens to us in our childhood. It can be something somebody says. Other times it can be what you deduce about a situation. Either way, we decide that we aren't good enough. We aren't worthy of love and therefore we aren't worthy of all the beautiful things life has to offer.

We are taught that the world is not a safe place. It is hostile and you can't count on anyone. Everyone is out to hurt you or take something from you. It is this belief that keeps us from living the life of our dreams and living small.

What happened to you?

Growing up, my mum was constantly telling us how lucky we were. How we had a roof over our heads, food on the table and parents that loved us. Somehow, this did not fill my heart with gratitude but mostly filled me with guilt. I felt guilty that I had all these wonderful things and no appreciation for them.

My mum had lost her parents when she was 5 years old and so to her, we were extremely fortunate to have everything we had. My parents grew up in a third world country and made a lot of sacrifices for us so that we may have the best of everything. They wanted us to have all the amazing things they never had in their childhood.

And with all that, I thought my mum didn't love me.

My sister was born when I was 5 years old and somehow when she was born, I decided that my mum no longer loved me. I have lived most of my life feeling that I wasn't good enough for my mum to love me. I believed that love can be taken away. That it is not something you can rely on.

Sometimes, grown-ups can say something that makes you doubt yourself. My first piano teacher told me that because I was 10 years old, I could never be a concert pianist. I believed her and felt sad that I had not started earlier. In time, I have met others that began learning piano at the same age and they had no problems becoming concert pianists.

Funny, because to another person, that comment might have been exactly what they needed to prove that they could. Some of us accept defeat, whilst others use the same information to prove them wrong. Everything happens for a reason. Make no mistake.

You are not reading this by accident.

You are reading this because there is a message here for you. There is something here that you need to hear. Did you misinterpret the words or the actions of an adult when you were a child? Think about this carefully. The answer lies within you.

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