Have you ever experienced brokenness? Not sure how to define brokenness? Doing whatever you can to avoid being broken? Just to be clear - I'm not referring here to your broken toilet, car or computer - I'm talking about your spirit, your relationships, your career or even your life. If you don't like where you think this article is headed do yourself a favor and go back to your - whatever, but if you have ever experienced brokenness of any kind, my hope is to help you grow from it, learn from it and pass through it with dignity, courage, faith and yes even speed if that is possible.
So, first - what is brokenness?
From my perspective and trust me I have been broken several times during my life (if that admission causes you to stop reading - believe me that doesn't surprise me - I've watched a lot of people walk out of my life because they found out I wasn't perfect) - where was I - OH, brokenness can be defined differently by everyone who has experienced being broken. Some would say it's devastating, others lonely, still others painful and uncertain and many - not what I expected or what I feel I deserved in life.
So, what is it - well from my perspective it's when life doesn't give you what you planned for, hoped for or desired when it comes to your goals, expectations, desires or dreams? It is when some aspect of life falls apart in some way - financially, in your health, your career or an important relationship. It's when you feel you have nowhere to turn for help, guidance, support or even someone who will just listen and care.
Why does life break us or try to break us every now and then?
Life is not the enemy. It isn't out to get us, destroy us or makes fail or experience pain. But life is. In other words, life contains a wide variety of potential positives and negatives and it does not discriminate or pick on any particular individual or group.
Oh, please don't start going into all of the stuff that humanity has done wrong over the centuries - I get it - but that's not the intent of this article - I don't care if you are female or male, old or young white or black, Christian or Jew, rich or poor, ugly or good looking or any other group that has been persecuted in the past.
The first thing we all must do is decide how we choose to define these two concepts. How do you define negative? How do you define positive? Once you have this out of the way you will have your first clue as to what brokenness is and, in your life, now or has been in the past.
Life is not picking on anyone but there are consequences to all actions, choices, decisions, attitudes and behaviors and these are nothing more than the natural ebb and flow of life as it unfolds. Do or say something stupid and sooner or later you may have to pay a price.
What can be the causes or contributors of brokenness?
As I said above there can be literally thousands of contributors to brokenness, but I have learned there are a few common denominators. Here are just a few. Arrogance, out of control egos, stubbornness, uncontrolled anger, hate or any other destructive and ill-placed emotions. Impatience and the need for control can also contribute to certain areas of brokenness. And let's not forget narcissism, selfishness, and just plain stupidity.
How do these contribute to a broken life is some way? Here's just one example.
A personality-driven by self-orientation, ego, and narcissism over time can drive people away from you in life. If this behavior continues - one day you may wake up and realize that you are alone without friends who care, family who wants to be around you and even strangers who turn their back on you. And the consequences - well it depends on how you react to traveling through life completely alone - for many this can be a devastating life position. There are literally thousands if not millions of ways that each of us responds to life stuff and decide whether we are going to let it break us or build us up.
What can we do while in the middle of brokenness?
This too is a choice - we can grow or withdraw, we can learn, or we can blame, we can get wiser or we can retreat, we can reach out to others or we can isolate ourselves even more. The response often will come back to your definition of positive and negative. I can hear some of you now - how can something obviously negative be positive? OK, can being broke (obviously negative) be positive? Can divorce (obviously negative) be positive? Can a heart attack (again obviously negative be positive)? Well, friends, I've been through all three and my answer is - yes, they can be positive if I chose to define them that way. I can hear even more of you "are you crazy?" Well, if seeing these as opportunities to get smarter, wiser, better, etc. then yes, I am crazy.
What can we learn from times of brokenness?
Let me close with a couple of simple ideas if you are in brokenness now or want to handle it if and when it comes into your life in the future.
- How you choose to define broken says a great deal about how you will experience what has come into your life.
- How you let broken define you will determine how long you stay broken and how well and fast you recover.
- Going through anything in life alone is stupid. Find someone who cares and reach out to them and share, learn from them and don't hide your pain.
- Keep the negative idiots out of your circle and out of your life if necessary. The last thing you need is more people pointing fingers at you, blaming you or not helping you learn something from your circumstances.
- Learn to be there for others when they are in need.
- You have been broken for a reason - discover it so you can learn from it.
- Read, Read, Read - as much as you can to learn as much as you can.
- Accept surrender as a positive approach rather than negative.
- All brokenness happens for a reason whether it's timing, details or circumstances.
- And finally - broken does not equal; stupid, failure, or denial but it can be related to these and other attitudes, choices, and decisions.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Brokenness---A-Blessing-Or-A-Curse&id=10157064
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