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7 Ways to Truly Love Who You Really Are


It's important for your personal evolution that you learn to love yourself. If you do not love yourself, it is hard to expect others to love you. Agreed, whilst humans may have many faults and shortcomings, learning to embrace all your faults is central to your position of accepting yourself as you are.

Loving yourself should become your highest priority if you wish to create a remarkable future. I don't mean loving yourself in a self-centered, egotistical way. To love yourself means to embrace your uniqueness and the gifts that show up in your daily life.

Low self-esteem puts the brake on your personal growth by restricting your concept of self. You may never reach your full potential if you entertain recurring thoughts of low self-esteem.

Consider the following thoughts as a guide for reconnecting with your purposeful self and developing a stronger relationship with that self.

1.  Know Yourself

If your desire is for personal growth, it is vital that you come to understand yourself, and know what makes you bloom. You may be aware of a number of flaws, yet embracing them and moving forward becomes your source of courage.
Nobody is perfect-you may spend your entire life trying to fill an empty shoe that does not exist if you follow this line of thinking. Yes, even his Holiness the Dalai Lama is subject to the conditions of human frailty.

Stand before a mirror and simply admire your reflection-do you like what you see?

Some people are loath to stand before a mirror and appreciate their body. I've written in earlier articles of the flawed cowhide used as leather. What is considered flawed and damaged is in fact a highly desired quality for some. Whilst you may not consider yourself as important as other people, in your life story you are the hero in your own life's journey.

1. Stop Criticising Yourself

Do you belittle yourself over small things? Whenever you make a small mistake, are you aware of the small voice inside your head reminding you of your imperfections?
Criticising yourself will get you nowhere really fast. People who practice self-compassion have been shown to be more successful and have a healthier outlook. It is vital that you begin to associate with your positive traits instead of focusing on the negative ones.

Be aware that you are not reliving a childhood phase of your life by reconnecting with a critical parent. Let go of your need to judge yourself and move towards a state of empathy.

2. Embrace Your Positive Nature

When you entertain positive thoughts, you become kinder towards yourself and your self-love and self-esteem increases. Kindness towards others becomes an expression of your self-love.
You can only give out what you hold in your heart. Therefore, if you believe you are undeserving of attention and kindness, you will likely withhold sharing these virtues with others.

Every person is born positive, it's simply their environment which shapes the person into a bitter individual. Even at this stage, you still have a choice to embrace your positive nature. Nothing is carved in stone unless you give it power and permission.

3. Acknowledge Your Success

You might not have succeeded according to your terms and definition, yet the definition of success is arbitrary.
What does success look like to you? There are many people who never make any effort to step out of their comfort zone and yet insist that success pave a path to their front door.

If you made a direct effort toward pursuing something you desired, but were unable to succeed due to any number of reasons, do not let that impair your definition of success.

Failure is part of the process toward reaching your goals. In fact those who succeed in life will have you know that they failed miserably on many occasions prior to reaching success. Your success is determined by how you bounce back from your failures and lessons acquired along the way. Making an effort is a big thing. It is not always about winning, sometimes it's the effort that counts.

4 Release Your Worries

Worrying is a futile emotion that can be better spent by taking appropriate action. Worrying uses up vital emotional energy which instead can be channelled into developing emotional resiliency and fortitude.
The more you entertain worrying thoughts, the more you establish a place in your mind that becomes habituated to the worrying thoughts. There is a term used in neuropsychology known as the Hebbian theory, which states, nerves that fire together, wire together.

To entertain worrying thoughts, you establish stronger neural connections in the brain for the worrying to exist. Set your worries aside since they may be holding you back from prospering at greater levels.

Surely you want to taste success and transform your worries into empowering emotional energies, which can serve your greatest potential.

5. Forgive Yourself

We all make mistakes at some point in our life-some people make more than others, yet that does not qualify you or them to think less of oneself. Holding on to your mistakes by thinking negatively about yourself inhibits vital neural pathways in the brain from learning.
Your brain is engineered for growth and learning within the context of a fun environment. We are all subject to making mistakes-no one is immune to it.

Learn to forgive yourself by practicing detachment of the outcomes. Trust that whatever happened in the past was done so with the level of awareness that was apparent to you at the time.

In other words, you were doing the best you could given the resources available to you at the time-thus forgiveness opens the door to moving forward. Appreciate the lessons gained from your experience by seeing it as an opportunity to gain the emotional resiliency to fight other battles in life, of which many will surely be presented to you.

6. Be Grateful

There's a good chance if you're reading this on a smartphone or physical book, you have every reason to be grateful. If you have access to a computer you are privileged enough to have electricity, which means you live an industrialised country with suitable resources.
Almost three billion people on the planet right now are living below the poverty line and it is expected that this figure will rise over the coming years. At the time of writing, the world's population is 7.6 billion people.

Less than half of the world's population gets by on less than $2.50 a day. Without turning this into a sermon on why you should be grateful, it is worth appreciating how much we have to be grateful for when we consider those numbers.

Gratitude entails being thankful for what you have right NOW. It does not mean being grateful in the future when you acquire something of value or have someone in your life who will compliment you and become the source of your happiness.

It means recognising what you have in your life at this moment is a result of the thoughts, beliefs and energy you created to allow you to be who you are. You create your reality through the sum of your thoughts, habits and actions over time.

Being grateful does not mean comparing oneself to others who are less fortunate; for we are all navigating our own journey in life.

People often ask me "How can I be grateful when people are homeless and dying in third world countries?" My reply is simply this; it is your obligation to be grateful NOT for what is happening in the world, but what is happening in YOUR world.

Consider for a moment if every person in the world raised their personal vibration and thought energy to one of gratitude? The collective consciousness of humanity would expand, thus ending poverty, homelessness and other diseases and illnesses.

Whilst I present a Utopian society in my example, it is nonetheless conceivable that we can make slow strides toward this possibility if we all play our part in the evolution of humanity through gratitude.


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Optimism and Thoughtlessness Are Not Synonyms

Ask people what optimism means and you will get a complete array of answers. From the 'glass half full' to 'seeing life through rose-tinted glasses,' or 'hopefulness about the future.' Optimism is one of those abstract and hard-to-define words that everybody thinks they understand. But what does it really mean?

These last few years, optimism has become a field of growing interest among experts, scientists and professionals. Authors like Professor Seligman and his 'relearned optimism' or the many studies proving the relationship between optimism and better health (like those by Julia Boehm and Laura Kubzansky, for example) indicate the level of interest there is for this topic. Many attempts have been made to clearly define this concept, but still different cultures and different fields of study explain it somehow differently, as culture also shapes the way in which the term is understood and interpreted.

Human beings are born optimists

When babies are born, they are always optimists. They expect the world to feed and care for them and for years wake up in the mornings believing that the new day will bring them happiness, adventure and fun. They face each moment like there is no other and enjoy it completely. A child plays and there's nothing else in the world but that game. The child will play the same game many times, and will not give up on it but persevere in the fun without questioning what comes next. Unless something deeply negative happens to alter that worldview, children remain deeply optimistic for quite a few of their first years, until their adults begin to chastise them for it and demand that they 'be more realistic,' or 'get their heads out of the clouds.'

Those same human beings then gradually start losing part of their optimism as life throws hurdles and problems at them and others recommend a less hopeful view on reality. They will start believing what others tell them and adapting their beliefs to their environment. Little by little, their natural optimism will dwindle and be replaced by a more somber worldview.

Lower levels of optimism result in poorer health and shorter life spans

Many of the studies carried out around the world have consistently proven that optimists live longer, happier and more rewarding lives. They've also been proven to be more resourceful and creative. There is an easy explanation to those results.

When pessimists face obstacles, they already believe that chances are they will fail, that things always go wrong, that they will not succeed. By the time they actually need to make the effort, they are so convinced of their failure that a) their effort is not absolute and b) they subconsciously sabotage themselves. As soon as they fail, then, they immediately tell themselves something like, 'see, I knew it was impossible.' That new failure thus reaffirms them once more.

Optimists, on the other hand, face obstacles believing that there always is a way to overcome them. They try to solve the situation one way. They might fail but that doesn't discourage them. They try another method and then another until they finally manage to overcome the problem and find a solution. They study their obstacles and ponder the different approaches to solving them. In their mind, there is no room for failure because they 'know' that they will succeed. Optimists never give up because they are convinced that there always is a way. By never giving up, then, optimists become more and more creative and start accumulating a great range of resources that make it easier to succeed at each attempt. That faith thus, results in them doing much more than pessimists and logically getting better results at the end.

All human beings are found somewhere between the two ends of this optimism-pessimism spectrum. Realism is just a way of describing those who are more in the middle of it. Realists, thus, have less resources than optimists but also fail less than pessimists.

Optimism is not thoughtlessness

Optimism, as just shown, is not just a matter of hope and expectations, but the conviction that good things will happen through a constant search for solutions. The true optimist is a hard-working, resourceful person who devotes a lot of energy and effort to reaching whatever goals are to be reached. A thoughtless person is not a true optimist because pursuing a goal without a plan barely ever leads to reaching it and optimists never give up. If one of the attempts to reach a goal is somehow thoughtless, it will likely fail, in which case the true optimist will think it over and formulate a new alternative, thus becoming the opposite of thoughtless. Thoughtlessness and optimism are therefore mutually exclusive in the longer run.

Optimism yields better results

As a result of the optimist's natural faith and hard-working habits, optimists become much better assets for companies and in general life. They push and drive, inspire and persevere. By not giving up, optimists become natural leaders and motivators.

Optimists rarely suffer from stress or burnout, either, as they don't worry but act. Stress and burnout stem from worry, from rumination and from fear, three attitudes that optimists naturally avoid by their own lookout on life. Consequently, optimists are less often sick or tense and end up developing a greater capacity to concentrate and focus on the task at hand.

Optimism can be recovered and relearned

As human beings grow up and live, society tries to instil a more sober view of life onto them as children and young people, thus slowly draining optimism from them. Without optimism, energy is low, motivation scarce and drive non-existent. That lack of optimism results in extreme personal and professional costs for families, companies and society as a whole. Fortunately, optimism can be relearned and developed. Like everything else in life, there isn't one formula-fits-all method for every human being. Optimism can be killed many different ways, and should therefore be reacquired by applying the right tools and methods, adapted to each person's needs and personal learning strategies.

Underlying subconscious beliefs can lead certain people to adopting a more pessimistic attitude in life. Fear is another trigger, as are pain, guilt or worry. A lot of professionals offer specific stress and burnout solutions to clients and patients but neglect to tackle the underlying problems that caused the original drain of energy and optimism. Only by solving and changing those will the human being truly recover that natural optimism that we are all born with.

If you wish to recover your drive, your motivation, your energy or if you want to help your team or your family to do the same, remember that each human being might have different reasons to feel the way they do and that specific tools and methods might be needed for each of them. Ask the professional you work with to present you with a detailed, personal plan for each person. If they fail to do that, look for a professional who does. Human beings are not robots and their complexity sometimes requires complex solutions. Those exist and can be used, believe me.

Enjoy life... ALL of it,


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Stress at Work: 6 Stress Busters to Reduce Work-Related Anxiety


What's the effect? Stress. As a matter of fact, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America reports an estimated of 40 million Americans suffering from different types of anxiety disorders.

Anxiety is often the result of stress, and because of that, it's something that's really unavoidable. That's why we're here to help; here are some ways on how you can minimize the stress levels in your body.

#1. Don't Be a Caffeine Fiend

There's just something about having a cup of Joe to start the day. Although caffeine can help improve your energy levels right away, it also triggers anxiety symptoms, such as an upset stomach, shaky hands, and racing heart.

Although the symptoms you're going to experience aren't really the actual cause of anxiety, once you're in a sensitized state, you're going to feel more vulnerable to the psychological effects of caffeine, and the body would misinterpret those effects as results of anxiety.

#2. Don't Overthink the Stressors

Sometimes, the more you think about what's making you all worked up, the more you'll feel anxious about it. The truth is, stress wouldn't go away, and there are a lot of jobs that are inherently stressful. The best thing you can do is set these anxieties or stressors aside because they wouldn't do you any good at all.

#3. Embrace Anxiety

Have you ever been in a meeting and started getting cold sweats, matched with a racing heartbeat? You have a few options to resolve that; either fight the feelings and remove yourself from the situation, or embrace anxiety. By accepting anxiety, you'll be able to get use to it and learn how to ignore those feelings once it hits you again.

#4. Nothing Wrong with Faking

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is grin and endure it. Believe it or not, there are instances where faking actually bring good results. It lets the anxiety pass, and make you feel confident at the same time. So, what are you waiting for? Stand up tall, and don't let those anxieties swallow you whole.

#5. Consider Taking a Breather

Whenever it's possible, try to check in with yourself all throughout the day-- this can be done by simply taking deep breathes, or if possible, practice meditation.

Make it a habit to drop your shoulders to release any tension from your body. These little things can help in uplifting your mood and make you feel a little more relaxed.

#6. Keep Moving

Exercise doesn't only make you look good, but it can help you feel good as well. Just like what they always say, a healthy body leads a healthy mind.


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What Lurks Beneath Misunderstood Emotions

Almost nothing can be more frustrating than the inability to understand a spouse, relative, friend or coworker, especially when they are important in your life. Frustration frequently becomes anger and finally a distancing from someone you once believed was genuinely important. When relationships dissolve into these kinds of dynamics you are constantly seeking solutions. What's causing this confusion; how can you understand or alter the course of a relationship that feels impossible?

Every time you encounter a deep emotional response take a moment to look beneath the obvious.

When anything stirs another person profoundly some event in their life has left a deep memory imprint; there is often a pattern to this. A vast variety of events can affect us deeply. Focus in on whether particular holidays or seasons evoke extraordinary emotions. If so, some event has caused an inability to trust that they will feel safe or loved during these times. A profound loss may have occurred leaving the inability to experience the season or holiday without a painful memory surfacing.

When a particular statement or presentation of something evokes anger or rage look for the fear behind what is being presented. Fear is the mask anger wears. The greater the rage displayed the deeper the fear that lies beneath the issue. Rather than walking away or becoming absorbed in the moment, try calmly asking questions about what they believe is making them angry. Establishing what the real fear is will allow you to help them rationally confront their fear and may pave a much smoother way forward.

When you encounter an unacceptable response about something that is really important to you it's time to ask questions, sincere questions without emotion. Why are they so fixed in their opinion? Why is the issue so important to them that they are unable to step away and look objectively? When you learn why something is so important to another person you are able to adopt a more neutral position or alter your own. Understanding why someone feels so deeply can help bridge a gap and allow a peaceful solution to emerge.

Finally, there are times in our lives when we discover we are wearing rose-colored glasses with a large crack in them. You may have to accept that you are expecting more than another person is willing or able to give. You may even learn that your relationship is not nearly as important to them as it is to you. When this happens you may be forced to accept that this person can or will not ever support you, even when it's important to you. If you arrive at this point it is time to stop questioning the other person and begin questioning yourself.

No person or relationship is worth the price of becoming a human doormat or whipping post. It becomes essential to set boundaries that will allow you to grow and follow your own life path. If you are encountering these emotions with a relative or important coworker look for a safe place in the relationship that will allow you to maintain the essentials while leaving you the opportunity to escape scathing criticism or any other emotion that may deplete your energy or desire to be more, to dream your own dream. If this is coming from a friend, partner or spouse it may be time to assess whether the relationship can ever be what you hoped it would. If the answer is no it may be time to disconnect and move forward on a different path with other people.

Before you make a final decision, it is worth making the effort of listening, asking questions and looking for middle ground that may be a bridge you can both cross to meet at a point both can accept. After all, you were always seeking a solution; doing so may lead to a lasting one.


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Emotional Stress: What Is It And How To Deal With It


Dealing with stress is almost a given for virtually everyone at some point or other. After all, life is made of challenges that test us physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, when a person has to deal with that type of adversity all of the time, the constant strain from such pressure can really affect a person's mental and physical well-being. This can be to the point where your health can be adversely affected for a short or even long term. This is known as emotional stress. The information below should help you to determine if you are facing this type of anxiety and how to overcome it.

If you are having trouble with your sleeping habits, whether it's sleeping more than usual or only sleeping for a few hours and having difficulty going back to sleep, you could be suffering from emotional stress. Often, the cause of this is due to either anxiety or depression, especially if there are no physical reasons for your sleeping issues.

If you are having extreme changes in your weight over a short period of time, especially if you haven't changed your eating or exercise routines, you might be suffering from emotional stress. Also, if you constantly think about food or constantly avoid eating, those signs could also be indicators that you are suffering from emotional tension. Depression can also cause a lack of appetite.

The body will sometimes aid you and others in letting you know that you are suffering from over tension when you have physical ailments that you just cannot explain the cause of. If you've undergone a physical, and a physician can't find anything physically wrong with you, it may be emotional stress that is causing your physical pain.

Another sure sign that you may be over stressed is if you are always in a bad mood, always showing a short temper toward others, and always getting overly upset over little issues or events. Both your physical and mental health could be at risk, as could the physical and mental health of those around you.

What can you do if you're showing the above signs? First, you have to identify and directly address the stressor or stressors that are causing your emotional angst. You should also try to look at the positives of your life and determine whether the stressor(s) you've identified are really worth worrying about or not. You may be making those issues larger than you really need to be.

You also need to take time out for yourself and enjoy fun activities to help relieve your mind of the pressure you are dealing with; no one can go for long periods of time under great duress without it affecting him/her. Also, let your family, friends, and physician know what you are dealing with, so that they can all help you overcome that tension and see the positives in your life.

Emotional stress can cause a great burden on those who are dealing with it, both in terms of their mental and physical health. They can be more irritable, they have trouble with their sleep patterns, they are less sociable than usual, and they may experience severe weight fluctuations.

By identifying and realizing what you are suffering from, you can work towards overcoming it with the proper attitude, approach, and help from your family, friends, and physician.


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Timely Tips for a Grounding, Refreshing and Energizing Morning Ritual

Your morning ritual is a special promise you make to yourself. And while the promise is important, it's KEEPING that promise that builds self-trust and sustains you.

In solitude, and in the promises you make and keep, you craft a bridge between your essential self and the challenges you meet as you go about your day.

For a morning ritual that refreshes you, try these five tips:

TIP #1

Sow the seeds for a fulfilling morning ritual the night before.

Your subconscious drinks in positive suggestions as you drift off to sleep. So envision being fully immersed in the pleasure of your morning ritual as you end your day. Allow the pleasure to soften the edges of the day you are ending. You'll emerge from sleep more refreshed and prepared for your special time.

TIP #2

Create a rewarding intention for your ritual each morning.

It is a simple way to affirm your power to bring happiness into your day. Begin your morning ritual describing just how you would like to support yourself.

Allow your intention to keep you focused on your quality of presence to yourself. And at the end, validate your self-caring and respect.

TIP #3

Savor the benefits of your morning ritual and assimilate them.

You consistently enhance your pleasure in life by consciously taking in and retaining the bright moments.

At the end of your ritual, pause for a few moments and reflect:

How has this ritual helped you?

What would you like to take forward into your day?

This review takes no more than a minute or two. Yet it helps you bring your best energies into the upcoming day.

TIP #4

Let your morning ritual deepen your relationship with your essential self.

Within you resides a wellspring of tranquility and self-esteem. This is where you feel most centered and draw upon fresh reserves of energy. Following your breath, travel inside.

As you settle in, nourish yourself with what sustains you. By relating deeply to your essential self every morning, you enrich your day.

TIP #5

Let your ritual honor your most meaningful choices.

What makes you who you are? Do you follow a thread of purpose that steadies you in difficult times? Rituals can be opportunities to reflect on these questions. Let answers arise naturally. Images may float up, as well. Let your intuition guide you.

Fully appreciate who you are. Consider spending a few minutes in front of the mirror. What do you need to hear today? Tell yourself, and take it in.


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How to Make a Happiness Checklist Without Happiness Feeling Like a Chore


Happiness shouldn't feel like a chore to you. Yet, you can make a happiness checklist to keep yourself on track and be happy. So what does a happiness checklist look like? Read on to find out.

Here is a sample happiness checklist:


  1. Love what you do.
  2. Do what you love
  3. Love yourself.
  4. Love everyone.
  5. Be at peace with yourself and others.
  6. Overcome insomnia and sleep well every night.
  7. Count your blessings.

I explain each of the above pointers below.

1)Love what you do.

You may have found work that appeal to you. Never lose sight of the projects in it and keep loving what you do. You will be graciously joyous.

2)Do what you love.

If the work that you do doesn't speak to you, then as you work presently, find eventually the work that you love to do - the kind of work that pumps blood through every cell of your body voraciously, yourself being eager to resume work as every morning approaches. Persist in it and make sure to bring some changes and fun in it so that you carry on without it feeling like a chore. You will then be generously contented.

3)Love yourself.

No matter what you do as work, first of all, love yourself and then love your work. Be gentle to yourself without criticizing yourself too much and approve yourself of any credit in your work, no matter how small or how big.

4)Love everyone.

After you love yourself and your work, start loving others all around you. Love even your enemies and backbiters. You will disarm them right away and a pleasant work environment will follow.

5) Be at peace with yourself and others

Learn to be at peace with yourself and others. There is no better formula to gain the mojo of life. Keeping at peace with yourself and others means you can work worry-free and be productive, bringing to yourself raises/promotion. You will rise up the ladder of success, bringing in jubilance to yourself, your family and everybody connected to you.

6) Overcome insomnia and sleep well every night

You may have sleeping problems. This will cause problems at work because you will not be at your level best and will not be able to contribute well to your organization. Exercise and eat well and make effective sleeping habits. Once you overcome insomnia and sleep well every night, your health will be sound and you can work and contribute prosperously. Your mood will soar and you will be satisfied at heart.

7) Count your blessings

Before you sleep every night, think of three blessings you are grateful about and write them down in your gratitude journal. Every night carry on with this ritual. And gradually your mind will settle for a sea of abundance and you will be financially free, carrying along further promises of pleasure, comfort and delight.

Summing up, creating a happiness checklist just the way I showed you in this article will help you to benefit from joy, happiness, wealth, good relationships and a utopia of abundance. Therefore, follow the checklist and make yourself soar without happiness feeling like a chore. Gotcha?



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Dare to Be Average

Most of us are always trying to be the best that we can be. Others are always trying to be perfect. But can we be perfect, given our frail human nature? Is it even healthy to try and be perfect or are we aiming for an impossibly high ideal that won't take us anywhere anyways?

Perfection is a plague for all of us. Advertisers are always encouraging us to buy their products because we are not good enough just as we are. But is this really true? Do we have to fall prey to such undermining negative attitudes which will make us feel worse about ourselves?

I believe that we must strive to get off the perfection ban wagon and become who we were meant to be when we were born, perfect and without blemish. However, to do so, we must become more aware of all the negative messages that are hurled against us by our culture and especially advertisers.

However, with practise and self-awareness, it is possible for us to like, and perhaps even love, every aspect of ourselves. We are not only good enough just as we are. We are great just as we are. We don't need any gimmicks to be perfect. That is something that we don't believe, regardless of who tells us so.

What does it mean to be average? Well, here are a few things that it does mean:

• Accepting ourselves in our own skins.

• Accepting our flaws, be they character flaws or physical disabilities.

• Acknowledging where we are, without worrying about anything else.

• Not comparing ourselves to others because it is a waste of time, energy and inevitably it can make your life miserable.

• Honouring who you are right now, without worrying about anything else.

• Becoming more aware of what the media is telling us to be and to avoid being those things.

• Loving ourselves and knowing deep in our hearts that we are unique just as we are.

• Not wanting to be anyone that we are not but celebrating who we are now.

• Celebrating our unique talents, because we have a lot of them.

• Realizing that we are all average, and we can all be great by how we lead our lives.

• Living joyfully in the present moment, celebrating all the little and not so little experiences in our lives.

• Living a more aware life one that is grounded in the present.

By accepting where you are in life and daring to be the best version of who you are now, you can live the best life that possible.

People who exude this kind of self-confidence look pretty perfect. They hold their heads up high and they celebrate this moment right now because it is the very moment where they are meant to live and be their best version of ordinary. Are you ready to be average?


https://ezinearticles.com/?Dare-to-Be-Average&id=9956488

Creativity - Do You Use It?


Many of my clients over the years have expressed concern about finances and wished they could relieve their debt burdens. But compounding interest and late fee penalties make the goal more and more unreachable.

Recently I watched some episodes from a British show entitled "How to Live Mortgage Free". I was amazed at what was accomplished by those who were determined to improve their lives by eliminating their mortgage.

Some of those who were featured wanted to accomplish this in preparation for their retirement. Others were younger. One couple set and reached their debt-free status before they were thirty years of age.

The ideas they used included renovating abandoned structures such as a barn, church or office. One couple didn't want to leave the house where they had raised their children so they sub-divided it into two houses and sold one. A young couple built their first home on the top of two trailer beds in a fashion that allowed them to move the whole thing at a later date if they desired.

A single father gutted and redesigned an Airstream trailer for himself and his daughter. An engineer turned a two-story bus into a home complete with elevator and mobile tracks so that his disabled wife could maneuver easily throughout.

One single mom told about how she reduced her mortgage from thirty years to eight by being thrifty and depositing the equivalent of twenty-five extra dollars at a time against the balance.

A couple who had lived on a boat for twenty-five years built a smaller one that was more affordable and then sold the first to pay off all their debt.

This series reminded me of the things that are needed in order to achieve success:

  1. A goal. It must be clear and reasonable. All of the individuals in the show also had a realistic timeline for completion.
  2. Sacrifice. It took many, many months and in some cases years of labour to complete the projects. Also, reduced square footage required down-sizing of possessions.
  3. Skills. Many learned how to build as they went, but some had carpentry, engineering, or sewing expertise before they started.
  4. Money. The people involved needed a place to stay while they were preparing their new homes. The initial costs for purchasing land, structures or materials were paid with savings or at least one continuing to work for income.
  5. Research. Many of the homes were built with second-hand fixtures and designed after study of magazines and examples of projects completed by others.
  6. Consulting. Asking for advice from people who have expertise was a key element of the projects.
  7. Creativity. Small spaces were used wisely to accommodate the residents who were moving in.
If you are struggling with financial issues, perhaps you could adopt the above principles. You don't have to necessarily pay off your mortgage but you could significantly improve your financial situation!


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When Your World Comes Crashing Down

Sometimes life hits us between the eyes and delivers an unexpected turn of events. The shock and resultant impact can make us question why it's happened. Have we been bad, is it karma, do we deserve this? The answer is often a resounding 'no'. It is what it is, nothing more or less than that. But, nonetheless, we have to deal with it and recover.

When our world comes crashing down others may not appreciate the magnitude of what we're going through or how what's happened has affected us. Consequently comments that are dismissive, superficial, maybe even offensive can come our way whilst we're struggling simply to get out of bed.

Even friends and family may not appreciate the distress we're going through, how those things are so devastating for us. When we miss out on being pregnant for another month and hear a cheery, 'you're young, you've plenty of time, there's always next month!' Or when they're blase about our beloved cat failing to return home and we hear comments like, 'you'll get another, it's only an animal', demonstrating no understanding of how much our beloved pet means, how they're such an important part of the family. Or even comments like, 'there are plenty more fish in the sea' when our latest relationship ends.

We can feel overwhelmed when we've invested so much of ourselves into something that fails to materialise or come to fruition. Grief and loss are often experienced at these difficult times in life. Even when we've had time to prepare ourselves for what's to come it can still be an earth-shattering loss. We may manage to maintain a stoic exterior, appear calm, unfazed and resilient, but inside or when we're on our own it's often a different story. Our world has come crashing down taking our future plans, hopes and dreams with it.

How can we cope when our world has come crashing down and we're experiencing such a sense of loss?

- Keep your own counsel. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Your feelings, challenges and situation is very different to theirs. Accept that others may not be as empathic or supportive as you'd like them to be, possibly through no fault of their own. It can be disappointing, tough to tolerate, but there's little we can do when they simply don't understand.

- Choose who you share your story with. Be cautious at randomly exposing too much of yourself and your feelings at such a vulnerable time. It's easy to absorb much of other people's comments, advice and input, but question, would they really do what they so freely advise you to do if they were in your shoes!

- Listening to others can bring its own stress, prompting us to make inappropriate decisions and choices. When they're being so 'supportive' we may feel it's good manners to listen and follow their advice. We may even regard them as an expert, feel compelled to trust their judgement, defer to their wisdom, be swayed to go along with the most persuasive argument or most popular point of view. Listening to others can provide insights and information, help us move our thoughts along, but at the end of the day it's your life. They're not as invested in the outcome as you are.

- Check your perspective, how are you feeling? Some days are more positive than others, those others we take everything personally. When you're aware of how much you can influence each situation you can be more in control of your responses.

- Consider therapy if you suspect you have long-standing unresolved issues. Getting help is a positive way to learn from what's happened, enabling you to pick yourself up and then move forward. And working with a neutral professional who's skilled at providing the right kind of support can be an important way of helping you turn the situation around.

- Acknowledge that loss and endings bring different stages of grief. You may well go through them all, some more than once. The stages can include denial, anger, depression, bargaining/negotiation until there comes an acceptance of where you're at. All can take time, with no limit on each individual case.

- There are many kinds of outside help if you're not looking for one-to-one therapy. Online forums and discussion groups can connect you with people with similar stories where you're able to share hints, tips or sometimes simply tears and company. Knowing you're not on your own can in itself provide reassurance and comfort.

- Take the focus away from yourself. Volunteer, share the lessons learned, your insights and sensitivity by giving time and being supportive of others. When you help others it often helps you too. You'll find some people will have had tough, fraught experiences, others may need to know there's company and support available. Get involved and recognise your own growth, strength and resilience.

Above all, appreciate that things take their own time but resolution will eventually come to pass.


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Do You Have The Right Mindset?


I think we can all probably agree that your actions lead to your results. If you want different results, you need to change your actions. If actions lead to your results, what leads to your actions?

Your Big Why

Your big why is, or will be, the most important reason for your success. If you plan to have success, the question that you need to answer for yourself is why do you need the success? What is the reason you get up and get at it each day? What motivates you to accomplish your goals? You need to be very clear on this and focus on it.

My big why has changed a little over the years, but the one that got me going was to help my dad. I lost my mom to cancer when I was really young and my dad raised me and my brother and sister by himself. I have zero complaints about my childhood because he was such a great parent. I owe a lot to him. Being a single parent and one income family, it was difficult for him to even think about his retirement. He was unable to successfully plan for his retirement and is still working today. I want to help him enjoy the latter years of his life and help him, if he would ever allow it, with his retirement.

Fear

I am reading the series Harry Potter right now and I think that is where I heard this quote. "Courage isn't not having fear but is acting in spite of fear." Everyone has fear of the unknown, and taking chances certainly has some unknown results. Fear is the number one career killer, and what separates successful people from average people is acting ANYWAY. This comes back to your big why. Is your big why strong enough to force you to act in spite of your fears? If not, get a new big why, so that fear does not murder your potential.

The Law of Attraction

I am a big, big believer in this. It started with the movie The Secret and has exploded from there. I have studied this and truly believe in its power. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you should start by reading or watching The Secret.

The idea here is that if you can make your mind truly believe something, it will happen. Good ways to use this resource is by affirmations. There are entire books written about how to use affirmations, but you want to put a goal in your mind, like it is already yours, by repeating it to yourself over and over and over... Vision boards are another great way to use the law of attraction. I have vision boards in my house that I look at frequently. These boards are loaded with things that I want. Your goals need to be realistic to you or you will not have much luck convincing yourself that it is yours; so start small and work your way up.

Investment or Expense?

Many people think subconsciously that money they invest in their business (like marketing) or money they spend on themselves (like education) is an expense. What I want you to believe is that these are actually investments. The reason for the distinction is that, investments pay you back with interest and expenses are gone forever. So many small companies end up failing because when things get tight, they cut their marketing budget. If things get tight, they might want to increase their marketing or become more efficient, because that is what brings in the business. Never cut the marking budget, unless you need to slow growth. Cutting that budget can be fatal. As far as investing in yourself, I believe you should continue to educate yourself constantly, but especially when you are not consistently reaching your goals. You should probably consider investing at least 10% of your personal income back into your own education until you are consistently reaching your desired results. With that being said, I am very proud to say that my company offers lots of solid educational opportunities free of charge. Now there really are no excuses.

Fake it Until You Make it

When you are trying to start something new or expand on what you are doing, there is a time in the beginning where you really don't know what you are doing. It is during this time that you are vulnerable, which of course brings fear and can potentially stop your actions. If you fake it and pretend you know exactly what you are doing, you will quickly learn what to do and how to act. That, and your confidence, will attract the people that you need to help you accomplish what you are seeking. I am not saying to lie to anyone, but you can easily lean on others experiences and act with confidence to get the job done. By not faking it, you will have a lot of hesitance and will attract more objections and more things that will hold you back.


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Body Acceptance: How to Strike Up a Loving Relationship With Your Most Loyal Companion (By Suzanne St John Smith)

As a psychotherapist, I'm in the business of hearing how people, especially women, talk about their bodies using hateful and disparaging terms. They aren't alone. I've done the same myself, and so I know how hard it can be to make peace with our imperfect bodies (are they ever anything else?) let alone feel loving toward it.

Some people spend a lifetime hating the way they're "represented" by their bodies. They've analyzed and criticized every inch of themselves while comparing their bodies to other members of their family, to their friends, and to almost anyone they come across in life, on social media sites, in movies and on television. And as a result, these same people have more often than not felt "less than" as a result.

Many such individuals will use almost any means to change what they believe is wrong with themselves, including crazy diets, starvation, purging, laxatives, over-exercising, and surgical and non-surgical interventions.

The rise of cosmetic surgery prior to age 30 has risen exponentially over the past ten years, and the rise in the use of surgical interventions in women over the age of 40 has also increased hugely during this same period of time. These interventions include minor procedures (chemical peels, botox, fillers) and major ones (full face lifts, liposuctions, and other such interventions that can increase the risk of death).

Unfortunately, some of these individuals do die in their pursuit of gaining acceptance of their bodies for themselves, and from others. So what needs to happen to lower the number of individuals who seem so committed to altering their bodies? This is, of course, an age-old question, but the answer isn't quite as simple as self-acceptance.

Or is it?

For many people who undergo surgical interventions, it changes their lives. It changes the way they feel about themselves, regardless of how it may or may not change how others view them, and maybe this is where we should draw the line. Right?

In other words, if the person is simply improving the way they view themselves and they aren't influenced by anyone outside of them, then isn't that a sign of health? The answer is "yes" in some cases.

For example, take the person who decided to undergo a surgical intervention because of the emotional pain they experienced for much of their life due to a part of their body they later chose to alter, and who never lived to regret it because they found a deep peace within themselves as a result. In this case, and many like it, I say "YES," that was clearly a good choice for the individual, because the change was for them and not to become "more acceptable" to others.

However, consider the person suffering from any form of eating disorder. They aren't usually driven by what others think of their bodies. Rather, they're typically tortured by how they view themselves, And, despite how others might beg them to eat because they're dangerously thin, they would argue that they need to lose just a few more pounds to be acceptable to THEMSELVES.

So this, too, is a personal choice based on how the person views their body, as opposed to being "driven" by outside forces. Right? Nope.

We are all members of this society, and we've been taught from early childhood from numerous sources what is, and what is not, considered "beautiful."

Decisions to alter our bodies in any form are to some degree always going to be "infected" by societal values, the healthy ones and the not-so-healthy ones. So what we need to do is to be hugely clear about the reasons we're doing what we're doing to our bodies.

For example, what do we expect from the change? Are we going about the change in a physically and emotionally healthy way? Do we feel any shame about what we're doing to change our bodies?

If so, that might be a flag that you should investigate. Another flag that reflects shame is secretiveness. Do we hope that nobody will discover what we're doing to change our bodies?

Consequently, prior to making changes to our bodies, we need to really think about why we want to make them in the first place, and self-honesty is key. Denial, or in other words, lying to ourselves (and others) or drawing on any number of reasons to justify our actions will merely block our ability to connect to the truth that lies within us.

But what about the concept of NOT changing our bodies and instead change the way we view them?

I believe many of us simply need to change our relationship to our bodies, and to begin seeing them as the loyal companions they've been to us for our entire lives. I know that sounds weird, because it's not like we had a choice, right? It's kind of like an "arranged marriage."

I was stuck with this body from the beginning, and I wasn't able to trade it in for another model (literally and figuratively) once I became of the age where comparison with others became an everyday experience and, thus, discovered its many flaws.

I, too, dieted, over-dieted, starved, over-exercised, binged and purged, spent hours, days, years hating and despising the body I'd been given without my permission.

And now I look back at photos that were taken just a year prior to the "battle of my body," and I think how lovely I looked.

OMG. How did my vision change?

Why didn't I think that before all those years of pain and torture? Yes, torture. Try starving in this society. It might be what our society requires in order to be as thin as it promotes, but it's bloody hard to do with all the food we come face to face with each and every single day.

Unless you've done it, you have no idea what it's like to turn away from food that you so desperately want to eat because the pain of starvation is literally killing you. But you don't take it, or if you do, you punish yourself by purging it the first chance you get because you live in fear of something far worse than dying: you might get fat.

And what if you do? Well, for sure you'll hate yourself, but you're equally convinced that others will, too. So this is what some of us do when we don't build a loving relationship with our bodies.

Today, I look at those old photos and I ask my body for forgiveness for what I did to it for so many years.

It sounds silly, doesn't it? But to me, it's not. It's about becoming grateful to the one entity that never let me down no matter how hard I hurt, rejected, despised, and almost killed it. It remains with me today, obviously, and still in one piece.

I'm a lot older now, so you might think I'd hate it even more. After all, I'm still a member of this rigid and critical society. Yet, I look at the face that is no longer as fresh and young as those of my beautiful nieces, and as much as I might still yearn for that youthful glow from time to time, I know that when I look back, if I'm fortunate enough, 20 years from now, I'll once again see the beauty in my face that exists today, a kind of life force that exudes from both the inside and outside of me.

But, the best news of all is that I no longer need to wait that long to see it. I can see it now. I'm so grateful that this amazing body is still willing to work with me, take me where I need and want to go, and it does so without complaint.

I feel so fortunate about this fact, and I never take it for granted the way I once did. In the end, I don't believe it forgave me for the abuse I dealt it because it didn't need to.

That's the kind of unconditional love this body offered me. It loved me all along despite how I kept turning my back on it.

So, I urge you to take another look. Look deep into the commitment your body has offered you throughout your entire life. It deserves your love and acceptance, and, in offering it, that action will heal you in ways you can't imagine.


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Learn The Power Of Manifestation To Finally Achieve Your Goals And Dreams

Do you think that you could achieve your long-term goals list much easier and faster if you could just get thrilled about the journey and inspired by all that is ahead of you?

Have you lost ways to motivate you on achieving goals one step at a time and get stressed due to procrastination as you have not been able to inspire yourself?

Do your dream about one day having whatever you want, to get the life you want, and nevertheless, today, appear to do nothing toward attaining those personal dreams and goals?

Well if so, buckle your seat belt as the stuff you will discover might take you on the journey of your life time and you could accomplish even your most wildest dreams!

The power of manifestation can be brought forward in you to get the life you want through a series of meditation practices using reflection principles.

This abundance and prosperity manifestation practice has actually personally helped countless people to realize their goals and dreams faster than ever imaginable.

Let Go of Self-Limiting Beliefs

I really believe that humankind has been self-limiting and restricts oneself on exactly what is possible and eventually on what has seemed to be impossible.

I believe that some individuals by their very nature choose to play it safe in life, so therefore have no need for a motivational message and inspiration as they play from the sidelines.

Often we can adopt these attitudes and beliefs from our parents and peers and if we do want to accomplish our dreams and goals, we find it difficult to as we have discovered how to play it safe.

This is where we have to seek aid to obtain the inspiration to attain what we do desire and move forward in life while achieving massive abundance.

Dealing with the part of you called your sub-conscious mind, the power of manifestation has the ability to reprogram all of those undesirable beliefs, routines and behaviors that have you playing it safe.

The abundance and prosperity practices through reflection principles starts to reprogram your sub-conscious mind, to produce the motivation that you need, and to accomplish the objectives and goals that you set on your own.

Exactly what do you desire to accomplish in life?

Previously I discussed taking action on personal fulfillment and not settling for less.

A wonderful truck or car, a promotion, a family, or whatever exactly you want as goals in life is in your power to do so.

If you are serious about gaining inspiration to attain success in your dreams and goals beyond your wildest imagining, then I would recommend that you get going today with the power of manifestation practices for a better life.

Haven't you waited far too long to achieve success-- do not wait for success, learn to go within and create it and then reflect it to your material world.

Start today!

Remember that many of us as humans allow the ego to cover up and/or obscure our inner light of inspiration at the times, that you truly know is required?

The Course in Miracles states, "The distractions of the ego may seem to interfere with your learning, but the ego has no power to distract you unless you give it power to do so."

Many individuals by our ego-based human nature-- that fearful, self-doubting, and judgmental aspect in us, choose to play it safe in life far too often.

Thereby these individuals have no need for inspiration as they play from the sidelines and never achieve their goals and dreams.

If you are major about acquiring motivation to achieve success beyond your wildest dreams, then I would advise that you get moving forward in life beginning today, by learning how to practice daily a power of manifestation practice.

So think about exploring how to move forward in life by not procrastinating on manifesting your goals and dreams, and begin taking action on making the life you want a true reality lived.

(I like to suggest searching the web for further helpful content on personal fulfillment and inner power uncovered now to release a scarcity mindset and get the life you want.)

To manifesting your dreams!


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Is It Time to Ask For Help?


Many of us feel disinclined to ask for help. Even asking for directions can require a huge effort. We may be loathe to appear vulnerable or incompetent, telling ourselves, 'I'll be fine, we must be nearly there by now, it will all work out in the end'!

But whilst we may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness, the reality is it can often be a sign of strength. Appreciating the value of additional support or input can positively influence our chances of success, saving us time and allowing us to maximise our resources. There's nothing weak about doing that!

Here's to recognising that it's time to ask for help.

- Feeling overwhelmed, out of our depth, not sure where to start or how to proceed is an important indicator that it's time to ask for help. Whether we're in a study, work or domestic situation it can be frustrating and futile to fritter increasing amounts of time not knowing where, what or how to begin. Overwhelm can result in anger, frustration and feeling de-motivated, especially if we're new, young or lacking in confidence. If we're unable to determine the way forward we may end up feeling stupid, useless and choose to walk away.

Asking for help from the outset means we potentially start with a clearer overview and directions or instructions from day one. We're able to make notes and continue using any of the channels of communication we've opened, so helping us become more confident about speaking up if and when required.

- There may be areas of our life which really cannot be ignored any longer. A team may be struggling to bond, a disruptive relationship may be causing havoc or staff development may not be as successful as was planned. Outside help may provide a better, more neutral perspective, see things differently and be able to work effectively to bring about positive results.

If our personal relationship is struggling, outside help can be beneficial in the form of relationship counselling. This can be a good decision even when the only option left is to split, facilitating a more respectful resolution, especially when there are children to consider.

- Stress often builds up over time, perhaps being triggered by a catalogue of day-to-day pressures, unhappy mindset or precarious physical wellbeing. Learn to recognise the signs that your stress symptoms are starting to appear. Signs may be poor concentration, accidents and mistakes, not sleeping well, losing your joy in life, each alerting you to the need to start saying 'no', develop better coping strategies and start asking for help.

Counselling and hypnotherapy can be a good way to deal with old unhelpful habits, support good decision-making and introduce effective stress management strategies. Find time for fun, things that you're good at and commit to taking regular breaks.

- What about those occasions when we're already doing too much, yet still agree to take on more, rather than say 'no'! Such behaviour can come from a fear of appearing incapable, inefficient, not coping or we don't want to disappoint or risk losing a client. We may want to do it all, be keen to be involved in every step of the process, perhaps not trust others to do as good a job or prefer to micro-manage everything.

Asking for help allows others to feel included, part of the team and so enable them to develop and even suggest better working practices. Or there may be some real value in forming alliances with other associated businesses and offering a more comprehensive menu of goods and services, a win/win for all involved.

You gain by having additional time for other, perhaps more important things, or free up some time for fun activities. It might be viable to pay for help with domestic chores, like gardening, ironing or cleaning or engage business expertise to support your accountancy, social media, admin needs; all could be money well spent.

- Perfectionism is often a barrier to asking for help. Easing our stress levels through constant checking may bring its own temporary reassurance, but it's often short-lived. Learning to move on from one piece of work when it's finished, good enough, can save a lot of time and stress. Besides that, going over something repeatedly often means we become de-sensitised and word-blind to any flaws or errors. A fresh pair of eyes can often zone in on something straight away.

- Trust other people's areas of expertise. If you know someone who's already practiced or familiar with what you're attempting to do invite them to share their experiences with you. Chances are they'll be only too happy to help and you may be able to reciprocate at another time. Alliances like this can bring advantages to all involved.

Our business skills or personal capabilities may benefit from the introduction of a coach, trainer or mentor to provide guidance, motivation and accountability. Soliciting help can move us out of our comfort zone and take our personal and professional development to the next level. When our aim is to grow and develop it's often important to ask for help.


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Forget About Never Being Made Fun of: Here's What to Do Instead


Being made fun of is probably one of the most common fears among people with confidence and self-esteem issues. And for many a good reason.

With the possible exception of Larry David and other deliberately self-deprecating comedians, nobody likes being made fun of. When somebody makes fun of us, a part of us is involuntarily exposed beyond our control. We don't get to decide when it happens, or in front of whom, or the specific subject matter.

If we feel particularly vulnerable towards ridicule, we might feel like preventing being made fun of by only surrounding ourselves with asskissers and yes-men. But really, show me just one person who's effectively made that idea work.

Or, we might feel like not surrounding ourselves with people at all - yet another common go-to idea amongst non-fidents. And can you guess if that's really a good, sensible idea?

Yeah, I thought so.

So, what do we do about being made fun of, then?

Well, as with a great many other things in life, there are options. And, as with life in general, there's no manual. So, in practice, it really comes down to personal preference and simply winging it.

However, if we wish to take the path of confidence, there are certain things to consider.

You see, confidence is all about latitude and inclusiveness. The more confident we are, the bigger we consider ourselves. And the bigger we consider ourselves, the more we allow ourselves to contain. Even being made fun of.

This doesn't mean we should lie down and take one insult after another like a little, submissive bitch. It means we should consider the reasons we might FEEL like a little, submissive bitch. Is it someone else "making" us feel this way? Or would we feel this way at all if we weren't disposed towards it in the first place?

This is a provocative question, I know. And as such, it's all the more important to consider.

And here's something else...

Have you ever noticed how no matter what happens in any given week, satirical shows will necessarily find a way to poke fun at it?

In fact, have you ever noticed how you're not the only person being made fun of? And, indeed, have you ever noticed how anyone can, in principle, make fun of anything, at any time?

Yes, they can. And this just so happens to include you. And me. In fact, everyone.

This is one of those inescapable conditions of being human. There's no changing it.

And this is why, when we try to actively escape or refrain from being made fun of, it only makes us look even more pathetic and hilarious. Because, considering how far we've come as a civilization, certain human traits ARE still pretty inelegant.

So accept it. Forget about never being made fun of. Instead, learn to embrace and love the idea that anyone can, in principle, make fun of anything, at any time - including you. Anything else is just fear-based insecurity.

Which everybody has. It's just that confident people act in spite of it. And Hell, confident people even make fun of themselves.

MENTAL EXERCISE

1) Turn off your phone, and eliminate all other possible distractions.

2) Close your eyes.

3) Now imagine that you're 200 feet tall and made out of diamonds.

4) Get heavy on the details. Imagine your surroundings. Where are you at? Is it a city? If yes, which one, and which part of it?

Try walking around. What do people, buildings, animals, cars, streets, etc. look like from up there?

Engage your other senses as well. Are you hearing the wind more clearly up there? Maybe tasting the cool air?

Are you walking slowly and confidently? Do movements seem slower? Maybe less risky than usual?

Try doing this for 5 minutes. Notice how you feel afterwards.

It's when we think of ourselves as big that we grow a little.



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