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You Are Not Your Number

Knowing the rules before you post: a social media guide for ...

The selfie. The I'm in my bikini. The I'm doing yoga. The I'm at the beach. The I'm drinking wine. And, the look what I'm having for dinner. These are some of the most common social media post. There's nothing wrong with sharing your life. The problem is when you define your net worth or your self-worth by the number of likes, shares and comments.You are not your number.

You would be hard pressed to find someone who does not use social media in some shape or fashion today. {There are a few out there, but they're not the norm.} Social media is a way to interact on both a personal and profession level. I personally love it. I love sharing my life with my inner circle. I love posting inspirational messages. And, I love knowing what's going on in my friends and family's life without having to make 20 different phone call during the week. It's a great tool. Where so many get in trouble is, they depend on the number of interactions they get to feel good about themselves. This is a trap.

When we define ourselves by our number, we literally are giving our power away. Even worse, many give power away to people they don't even know. I personally carry a friends list that hovers around two thousand. In reality, I may interact with maybe 200 of them. The rest I have picked up over the years {a lot for business purposes} and on the rare occasion we connect. That said, I watch people over and over again lose their mind when they don't get the response they want from a social media post. Be it politics, religion or the I'm having a bad day post. We have become a culture of "look at me". And that's fine, but keep it in perspective. If you have 3-5 really close friends in life, you should consider yourself lucky. The need for having 500 people like your post is unhealthy.

I am big on social media. I have watched many newcomers fall into the trap of needing to go big to get attention. There is so much competition out there, that many are doing some very damaging things to their character. Let me give you a quick example. From time to time I get called into a business contract to run their EAP or act as their HR manager. When conducting interviews, I always, always, always check the interviewee's social media. More often or not they have it open to the public. What you post, what you say and what you do tell me more than the interview itself. If I see a post that bashes your employer or a co-worker by name, you have to know that I will assume that I can expect the same behavior from you, if I were to hire you. Or, if I see excessive pictures of you out partying every week, again I am going to assume at the very least that I would be seeing some sick days utilized from you in the very near future.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing your life on social media. But please keep in mind that you are more than your number. This especially holds true for the younger kids. Social media in many cases is all fantasy. You can be whoever and whatever you want. There is a show that has been on for years on a popular cable network about people falling in love with someone they have met online. When they finally meet, the person who they thought they were dating is not the person they fell in love with. In fact, many times they are not the sex, size, skin color or name that they led on to be. It's scary stuff.

Get your worth from yourself. Sure we all want to be validated by others. It just feels good. So, if you're depending on others to build you up, make sure it's from people that you know and trust. These people should have your best interest at heart. These people will keep it real and keep you in check without being mean about it. There are too many trolls on the internet. And if you're not secure in yourself, it can be hurtful.


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