Lost, Lonely And Scared

Lost, lonely, scared, embarrassed and not good enough. That's how she described herself.

I am often asked how does one raise their self-esteem. This is really a complex issue. Without over simplifying it, I have broken it down into 3 steps. And provided there aren't any underlying mental health issues such as a Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD or other diagnosis, these 3 steps are a great way to get your confidence back and start enjoying life again. If you are struggling with a mental health disorder, please seek help from a professional. {Medication and therapy can help in most cases for those who fall into this category.}

Being lost, lonely and scared is not that unusual. I think most of us have these feelings from time to time. It's when we get stuck there that it becomes a problem. So she ask, "How do I get past these feelings?" I told her to take a good look at 3 areas of her life. Thoughts, friends and food. Or as I call it, TFF. TFF covers our emotional, communal and physical health. When we align the 3, the quality of our lives increases exponentially. Let's take a look at how our thoughts, friends and foods impact out life.

Thoughts. The quality of our thoughts has a direct impact on our bodies. So shall we think, so shall we become. How conscious are you of your internal thought patterns. Are you a victim of your thoughts? When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What are the thoughts running through your mind? And when you wake up in the morning, is your first conscious thought one of gratitude? Or, is more along the lines of "Oh my God. I just can't do this today".

We all have that one friend who has a problem for every solution. And if you don't, it's probably you. The goal is positive thoughts. Be realistic though. There will be some days and some experiences that are going to end badly. That said, we have a choice on our take of it. Will we see it as a lesson, or a loss? Train yourself to look for the lesson. By doing so, you're holding onto your personal power in a time when things are out of control.

Friends. I actually write about this quit often. Do you want to know what your future looks like? Take a look at the 5 people you spend the most time with. There's your future. Surround yourself with people who force you to level up. Do they encourage you? Speak life into you? Or, is everything and everyone a problem for them? We all have bad days. But when we complain about everything and never recognize or acknowledge the good, it's time to make the change. As we change our thoughts, our circle of friends will change in kind. Why? Because when someone is stuck in darkness and you're striving for light, they will lose interest in you. And don't feel bad as your circle changes. They're not bad people. You just out grew them. It's not a crime to want more from your life. Do not settle for less that you deserve. Be it work, relationships or education. If it's calling you. You should go.

Food. Yes food. Why is food an important part if this process? Because you can't get the most out of your body if you're putting the least into it. In other words the food that we consume play a role in our health, energy and even the quality of our thoughts. You don't necessarily need to be on the healthiest diet. But, you should make a conscious decision to eat healthy. Of course you can enjoy your favorite comfort foods. Just do so in moderation.

There are many thought process, theories and diets to explain how food works for and against you. Do a little research. I personally have been a vegetarian for over 30 years. That works for me. Find work works and makes sense for you. Many times, even a small adjustment can pay huge dividends. So please look into it. And on a subconscious level, eating healthy is an affirmation of self.

In a time when so many are comparing their life to someone else's {via social media}, it is easy to see why many are having self-esteem issues. But you have a choice. You can unplug. You can unfriend. You can know that most everybody employ's filters on social media. In other words, they show you what they want you to see. And there is nothing wrong with that. Just know that their probably looking at your filters too, thinking the same thing.

So when you're feeling lost, lonely, scared, embarrassed and not good enough. TFF.

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