Building Confidence Is Easier and More Exciting Than Most People Think

One of the biggest obstacles in your way of having abundant confidence to go after what you really want in life is not having anything you are moving towards that really means anything to you.

We are so often controlled by that gut wrenching fear when we enter a new environment or try a new experience. New social settings can bring on a tight chest or knot in our stomach. Maybe a lump is felt in the throat as we attend an event held by our kids school, or the office party that is outside of the normal boundaries of turning up and sitting at the desk. Can you relate?

Lack of confidence stops so many people from doing so many things they know they should do or they simply want to do. The conversation you feel compelled to start but chicken out and walk away. The job you want to go for or the business you really want to begin but you're terrified of being rejected or failing and being criticized by your friends, family or colleagues. The class you want to go to but are scared you'll embarrass yourself or everyone will judge you because you won't be able to do it.

I've felt the pain and insecurity of low self-esteem and confidence too. I remember turning my back and walking away from a girl when I was 16. Why? Because she smiled at me and said hello! How could she do such a thing?! I was terrified. I remember panicking, scared stiff that if I said hello back I would have to think of something fun, charming and witty to say next. I felt my whole body overtaken and frozen by panic and simply turned and walked away, without saying a word.

I can look back and chuckle now. But that was a real challenge for me 20 years ago and being able to overcome that sort of self-doubt and lack of confidence has made a huge difference to how I live my life and who I have become.

So what can people do about their low self-confidence? Life seems so overwhelming and challenging when your first thought about anything is always a fearful one, figuring out how you can make it through the upcoming situation without blushing and becoming shy and awkward. Thankfully, wherever you are right now in your confidence levels, there are many wonderful and simple ways to boost and build your confidence and belief in yourself.

One of the most profound and long lasting ways to help your confidence grow and stick around too, is to get clear on what you really want in your life and start, nice and steadily, moving towards it.

It seems, as a society, we have created a way of living where getting an education, securing a career, getting married and having kids, buying a house and retiring in our 60's, with a sprinkle of annual summer holidays and a nice car to travel the journey in is, in sum-total, a 'fulfilled and well lived life'.

Now, if you are doing the thing that lights you up inside as a career then bravo! However, statistics show that as many as 84% of people surveyed in the developed world, are unhappy and unfulfilled in their chosen work. 84%??!! Isn't that an incredible number?!

One of the major reasons people suffer with low confidence is they get stuck in a rut. They've stopped pursuing and moving forwards. After a few knockbacks, their confidence can hit the downward spiral that pulls them further and further away from their true self, taking them into the pits of fear, doubt, insecurity and self-loathing. They have had their spark (that place inside them that is real and true and alive and vibrant) dulled and covered over. The expectations of the world have been put upon them. They have brought into the ideas of everyone around them about who to be, what to do, how to behave, how to think, where to work, who to spend time with. All these well meaning advisors have pulled people further from their centre, further from the truth in their own heart. One of the surest ways to have our confidence knocked out of us is to lose touch with that unique and beautiful spark inside each of us.

Therefore, one of the quickest, easiest and most important antidotes to lacking belief in yourself is to get clear on something you really want, something that lights you up inside and fills you with excitement and passion and begin taking small steps towards it. Now, it doesn't need to be your life's work, your big heart filled mission in this life time (although if you know what that is, then get focussed on that for sure) but it does need to be something more important to you than simply paying the bills and getting through each month tired and warn out one heavy step at a time, always feeling like you are stood still and never moving forwards. Or worse still, fighting hard but feeling like you are slowly slipping backwards in one or more areas of your life.

Building your confidence isn't just about helping you with quick and simple techniques (although there are plenty of quick and simple techniques that can double or triple your confidence in the blink of an eye), the goal is to help you have an inner transformation which taps you into a deep and lasting well of confidence, which will open you up to more possibilities than you can even imagine right now.

How would it feel to be able to pursue everything you want in life? Every time you see something you'd like to try or someone you'd like to speak to or an experience you'd like to have, how incredible would that feel to have the confidence to do it?

Can you imagine the moments of life that would take on deeper and richer meaning and feelings? Even if your confidence is at an all time low right now, you can probably relate to this because you've almost certainly had times in your life when you did go for it. You've experienced those moments when you threw caution and fear to the wind and chased down the person or experience you really wanted.

Regardless of the outcome, you've felt that rush of excitement, joy and aliveness which comes with knowing you are being true to your hearts desires and pursuing what matters to you. You will barely recognise the new you who is thriving and enjoying life, no longer concerned by what everyone is thinking of you, no longer worried about how you look or sound, no longer feeling that tightening in your chest or stomach when you try and take a step forwards.

The new you will be someone who is ready to say yes to almost anything in life. Adventure, playfulness, openness, joy, passion, excitement and self-belief will become the normal regular experience of day to day living. If you're having a hard time imagining this right now, stay with me. I would love to help you if you want to get deeper into this process and experience even more confidence and excitement as you take control of your life and pursue your dreams.

When this more confident part of you takes control of your life, everything begins to change. As your confidence grows and you begin to go after the things you've always wanted in life, but never had the confidence to go for, every part of your life begins to grow in response to your feelings about yourself. Your career either changes or evolves. People often find promotions and other possibilities more in line with what they really want start opening up. Relationships improve or the perfect partner shows up. The confidence to start the new business, to rescue the current one or simply double or triple your current profit, the belief in yourself to demand more income for your time from a place of confidence and worth rather than fear and insecurity.

The weight people always wanted to shift finally starts coming off as they feel better about themselves and make choices that support their growing self-image, rather than trying to force themselves down the road of the next almost impossible diet whilst still feeling crap about themselves inside.

The emotional habits we get stuck in, like anger, resentment, jealously, overwhelm, depression, anxiety and any manner of emotions we experience in life begin to subside and shift into healthier emotional habits that support your growth and development as your confidence continues to grow. You won't even recognise yourself a year from now if you decide to begin the sacred work of developing your belief in yourself now.

So, where do you start? Right here and right now is probably a good time and place, wouldn't you agree?

Isn't it time you gave yourself the gift of deciding what you really want to pursue next? What is it that really matters to you in life? Not what is expected of you by your society, parents, siblings, partner, kids, colleagues or friends. What is it that really matters to you? For a life changing shift in your confidence and belief, get in tune with that part of you that truly knows who you are and what you want and begin taking small but firm steps towards it. You will hardly believe how different your life will look when you truly step into that timeless confident part of you that knows what it really wants.

Give yourself the gift you deserve. Take a step or 2 in the direction of a dream or goal that matters to you. Keep the steps super small and easily achievable and watch your confidence begin to grow astronomically.

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