The Better It Gets, The Stronger I Get (By Joshua Clayton)

"This means nothing!" That is when we have to give things our own meaning instead of accepting "this is what it comes down to". I remember when I was in a tail spin after the death of my Dad in 1991, and life lost all meaning. What kept me going was that I had to slowly create my own meaning for it all again, even if I suffered setbacks that seemed to mean nothing but misery and trouble. Indeed, when I say "the better it gets, the stronger I get" as the title, that means instead of giving up or committing suicide, I pursue with even more resolve that the universe knows what it is doing. Also, I create my own happiness, meaning and all of that great stuff instead of depending on good fortune or "providence".

Sometimes, with so many of you, I would like to "cop out" of it and quit, but then, I seriously remember the advice I just gave here, and realize that it is genuinely up to me if it is to genuinely be.

I think of Phineas Taylor Barnum when I think of my philosophy, failure after failure, and loss after loss seemingly, but then, that is what made Phineas Taylor Barnum one of the greatest showmen in the world. He could fail and come back and win again with even more experience, which is a genuine asset in reality. I mean think about it, feeling sorry for ourselves is just an alibi really.

I woke up this morning feeling bad about life, wishing I got a better hand in it than "the joker" I feel like most of the time. You know, the universal wild card that you think has no value until the end of the game in most poker tournaments, that wins it all when you get it, especially in wild handed games and seven card variations. So, when I say, "the better it gets, the stronger I get" I am writing about those crappy moments in life where we wish for the "ace of spades" or a "royal face card" and then get "the ten of diamonds" or even "the joker" instead. I say bluff and win with that ten of diamonds, and use the joker as the wild card it is instead of giving up. After all, it does not matter what you win with, it matters how well you play the hand in all things. No matter what it looks like now, there is always a chance to succeed if you genuinely do not give up and use experience in the next play in cards and in life. On this, I quote a famous Neville Brothers song, sung and written by Art Neville and his son Ian about card dealers, "Listen to me, hear what I say."

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