Most people develop perceptions and attitudes as dictated by the society they live in. Individual's own personality and views become victim to the societal pressures of what is success and what is not. Defining success is one such causality. It is very easy to succumb to one's own surrounding and end up developing definition of success based on what others think of success.
What does one do to stand up and define our own success? It was Abraham Lincoln who said "Always bear in mind that your own definition of success is more important than any other one thing." This article attempts to provide some leads on defining your own success.
When you ask others what success means and you're likely to hear a variation of these answers:
• Fancy car or two - Mercedes, BMW, Lexus
• Nice house - Big, with a swimming pool, in a gated community
• Respectable corporate job - something worthy of bragging about
• Attractive spouse
• Obedient and smart children
Those things are fine if they're of your own choosing. But, if you take the time to think about it, your definition of success might be: Single, traveling the world, running my own business from a laptop, having adventures each day, and wearing flipflops at least eight hours each day. A person with this definition of success would be miserable in the first scenario.
Persons who stand up to the society and develop their own framework of success would mostly be high in creative field, be it sports, literature, business or public service. They are the ones who generally abandon set ideas of success and define something that is satisfying to them, that create value for themselves and people around them.
Such people will never be the ones to accomplishing something that doesn't appeal to them in the end.
All we have to remember - to define our own success - is what Anthony Robins said "There is a powerful driving force inside every human being that, once unleashed, can make any vision, dream, or desire a reality."
So how do we avoid disappointment and create our very own definition of success!
As reflected in Robert Finch's book Great Objectives, it is quite common for ordinary people to adopt such mottos as "healthy, wealthy, and wise" as aims for life. But we know that having more than one such value can lead to conflicts. It was realized that we should not try to achieve definite objectives, but instead look to some other procedure, such as a variety of evolution, to shape our objectives.
In that case, we make plans and evaluate them, as we proceed. We should use our values for guideposts.
One critical method is to seek self-introspection and ask yourself these questions:
1. What legacy do I want to leave for my children and the world? At the end of your life, what do you want to look back upon? Is it wealth and a vast business empire? Do you want to leave a string of good works? Do you want to look back on a life full of adventures?
• How will you have wanted to spend your time?
• What financial resources do you want to leave behind?
• What do you want to be known for?
2. What are my values? A lifetime spent living your values will be fulfilling. Most people have a vague notion of what's important to them, but few take the time to think about it carefully. Pull out a piece of paper and make a list of your values.
3. What do I want to do? Make a list of all the things you want to see and do. Everything from skydiving to walking on the Great Wall of China. Write it down.
4. What type of life do I want to experience? You might desire a conventional marriage and six children with a white picket fence in the suburbs. Or you might like to live in a Manhattan condo by yourself and take full-advantage of the nightlife for the first 20 years of adulthood.
5. What it will take for me to feel successful? Imagine various scenarios and determine what would make you feel successful. Is it living in a cabin in the woods with few responsibilities? Or living in a 15,000-square foot penthouse? Imagine various careers and lifestyles. Which one feels like success to you?
6. What if no one else would ever know? The idea of owning a Ferrari might feel like success, but what if no one else would ever know you owned it? Would you still feel successful? An ideal version of success wouldn't involve the opinions of others.
• Search for a version of success that's meaningful to you, even if others are unaware of your possessions and accomplishments.
There is no universal definition of success. It's important not to fall into the trap of trying to impress your friends and family. Develop a version of success that is meaningful for you, regardless of society's values. You might find that your version of success is much more enjoyable and easier to attain.
How do you define success? Your own definition will require you to like what you do and how you do it. Will you like the person you are becoming?
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