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Do You Have The Life You Deserve? (By Felipe Tognarelli)



How to improve your life and get the motivation to pursue your dreams!

I remember growing up with the widely accepted notion that life will somehow just give way to my fantasies and wishes. But as I grew older, I discovered the depth of the saying; "if wishes were horses, we would all be riders".

If we could all just get what we desired, then no one would have to be wallowing in the disgrace of lack or struggle with pursuing their dreams. While considering if it is possible for someone to have the life we deserve and also while trying to improve my own life and get motivation to pursue my dreams, I noticed that life will not hand you what you need but will give you what you demand and that there is a way to place such a demand.

I may not always have deserved what I demanded, I certainly didn't demand to be diagnosed with stage 2 Cancer while only being 25 years old, but the fact is that we all get what we demand or attract, and most of the time, we all do this unconsciously by letting our thought take control of our lives. With this knowledge, I admitted that life was never handing me what I deserved and it never would. If today, I'm not where I want to be in life it's because I didn't place the demand or I never thought of myself as someone capable of achieving success, there was always the "but" keeping my brain "tied up" telling myself I am just not good enough, then I surely have realized what I've demanded my entire life - Nothing.

Once before this realization, I attracted a lot of negative thoughts that weighed me down on the highway of life to destiny, but I decided to get rid of all these beliefs to finally start taking control of my life and move it towards my dream, you know what they say... if you don't control your life, your life will control you... So life has finally given me what I demanded, reshape my mind and take over it!

Now, the fact that I wanted something doesn't necessarily mean that I have decided to have that one thing, and the difference here is what has transformed in my life. Although it is the greatest importance and obviously the first step, desiring accomplishment and a better life won't necessarily give you that life, you must be relentless and hustle every single day to achieve that type of life you are after, success is not complicated to obtain, just hard, but not complicated.

This is what I have seen as the key that unlocked my latent abilities and eventually my drive. The fact about dreaming is that it's everyone's ability, it is therefore, imperative that one must dream big or as others may say "think big". An inner source of motivation I first chose to cleave to is; to dream and think bigger every day, through the rain and whatever weather I was going to dream big. Dreaming was the first step to my improved life. The consistency of my dreams bears much who I am ordinarily and creates spaces for a better me. Dreaming big as I have understood, helps me realize all the greatness that I can be, but am not yet and this sets me on the edge. I cannot sit comfortably with the understanding that I am less than I should be.

So, what would happen if we don't decide to act upon our dreams? Then, times will come when the only apparent option is to desert your dreams and desires to settle for less, that's why the matter of deciding to press on must be permanently present, because if not now, then when?. The truth in life is that not every day will be a sunny day, storms and tempests will come and your resolve to hang on and remain in the game is what will determine you having the life you deserve.

Dreaming big, I came to realize that helped me to get to another phase of improving my life; knowing myself and knowing my life, knowing where I was and where I wanted to go. Another important matter to achieve the life we have always dreamed about, we must avoid the "identity Crisis" the quest for who to imitate or who to masquerade as being that. Not knowing oneself is a deterrent to personal improvement because the fact is we are all different and to improve oneself, one must know their own self. This knowledge is what makes me and not somebody else, you are the anchor of your own show and you and have the power to decide whatever dreams you will pursue to achieve or not.

I see that it is never really any improvement repeating what another man has done. I can and should learn from the achievements and failures of other men, but I should never replicate them, it is fundamental to have a mentor, someone that has accomplished what we are trying to accomplish, so we can learn from them, however, failure and success are personal, they are subject to circumstances such as the principal conditions around the person and activity. Thus, because conditions cannot, in essence, be replicated, it not wise to want to replicate the success of another man.

The fact that I know myself helps me to decide on what and what not to indulge myself in. I know what activities would drain me without seeing any conceivable benefits and those that will engage me with returns, but no conceivable drains.

A wise man once said, "Wisdom is the ability to recognize difference". And in defining wisdom he says "is pragmatic of life". I have seen that when I recognize the difference between what I can and cannot do, I do not stress myself on the "cannot", rather I reinforce my can.

Reinforcing what I can do is the third step to improving my life. From nature, we can learn that, when a seed is planted it is not guaranteed that it will grow and bear the fruits a plant should. It needs water and fertilizers, sunlight and weeding. Eventually, the plant brings forth, likewise, the knowledge of who I am was basically the seed that had been planted, and I then need to water that seed, provide it with fertilizers, sunlight and weed the ground around the seed.

This reinforcement is what I have seen comes from awareness, I should gain as much knowledge as I can on the dreams I have, the pros and the cons. The knowledge I get from books, the internet, learning from others (specifically those I can recognize as having achievements in areas of my ambitions) and from nature will help me further pursue my dreams, this knowledge points me in the right direction of implementation and also gives the momentum towards my dreams. Without such knowledge I will gamble with what to and what not to do, this eats large chunks from invaluable time.

Lastly, improvement is guaranteed by work. I may have big dreams and know how to achieve them, but without the express vigor of taking action to the latter, big dreams and abilities are simply that. To translate big dreams into their tangible equivalents, I have learned that I have to work them out, there is no magic involved, just work and we all can work.

The times that I've encountered the greatest improvements in my life have been in the hardest times when facing my biggest challenges, but I essentially kept on pressing without stopping. The motivation to keep on going comes from the knowledge that what I am facing right now is not unknown, there have been countless people before me that have encountered similar and worse challenges and overcame them successfully.

Until next time!


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