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Who Says No


No; that's impossible, ridiculous, outrageous or unrealistic, we begin hearing some form of these words about the time we understand that saying mommy or daddy means something. No is the easier word to learn as it is frequently reinforced by a slap to the hand or a smack to the butt. This we understand; someone important to us has meaningfully stated we can't do that, whatever it may be. This is a learned behavior pattern beginning at about age 6-8 months. No means no; life can be painful if you don't understand this.

Thus begins a journey through life where we routinely share our thoughts, ideas and sometimes hopes and dreams with the people in our life. This is also a learned response, and not always a healthy one. The basic rule to sharing dreams with other people is 'never share your dreams with anyone who does not support them.' Words are powerful. The spoken word is the equivalent of an arrow released from the bow; they become far more powerful and will leave their mark. Carry your dreams close to your heart, protect them and be careful who you share them with; after all you have been trained to believe that no means no.

Have your life views changed dramatically to fit those of another, a friend or partner who is important to you? If so, did you carefully examine and weigh the differences before you altered your own opinion? Your world view belongs to you; altering your belief system is an important change in the direction of your life. The entire course of your life can be dramatically altered by simply allowing the opinion of others to become your own. This happens when new friends or co-workers and especially a new partner enters our lives. We want to mesh with them, to be accepted or loved. Even if we know way down deep their opinion and ideas are diametrically opposed to our own it may seem easier to accept theirs than to defend our own. It is good to remember that we don't need to defend anything; we are free to be who we are. The moment anyone makes us feel like we must change to be acceptable it is good to honestly examine why they are asking us to change. Who says we must? Why must we alter our course for another person's?

Who says we can't go back to who we were before we knew them, to return to the path our own dreams were on? Before you falter and 'go along to get along' take a moment to understand that a new course is just like selecting a new destination. You are going to arrive somewhere you were not planning on going. Is that acceptable to you? All too often people look back with regret at how their life was changed by the entry of another person. Who says you can't be you? If you allow your path to be altered, sadly it is you who said no to being you.


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