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We Cannot Give What We Don't Have (By Rosemarie Sumalinog Gonzales)


One of the most important things that we need to realize whenever we attempt to do something with or for another, is that we cannot give what we do not have. We must first become and/or have what we desire to give.

We cannot give neither money nor food if we have none. However, we fail to understand that this applies at every level of our being. We can only give from our essence and what is in our soul. Apparently, many of us are unable to get what we want to achieve in life because we are unable to get what we desire within ourselves first. We are not able to create the necessary conditions within our own being to have what is necessary to accomplish our desired external experience.

We must somehow change the essence of our being because there are certain concepts and understanding about how we create our experiences that were never provided to us. This is particularly true for anything in our life.

We cannot give what we do not have. We need to somehow become what we want to be in life. Consequently, we cannot love ourselves in the way we need to be loved, we cannot give love to another. We might be able to give because of a sense of duty, obligation and expectations, but we cannot give love simply because we do not have it to give.

In reality, we look for satisfaction in what we desire externally rather than finding satisfaction in who and what we are. To find satisfaction in who and what we are allows us to feel a wholeness within our being and experience a oneness in our life. Our desires arise from a desire to share the abundance in our life with others rather than looking for another to satisfy our needs.

Life maybe that complicated, but we can simplify it by being grateful and thankful of what we have. We can share to others these virtues but oftentimes ignored by some because of their incapability to accept intangible things that money can't buy. It's difficult to open up and love without feeling vulnerable.

I don't know why other people impose too much. I am really a very nice person. But I am surrounded with very parasite people that they think of me as a wonder woman who can make everything possible. I am just like anybody else, imperfect but capable of loving and taking care of my family despite the odds. Why other people abuse my kindness? Can't they see my worth?

The reason why I don't want to stay near my family is that they want me to do everything for them despite the fact that I already gave them everything I have - time, money and effort. I also have kids who need my unconditional devotion.

You know that I would never leave you. I love you all.

I can only give what I have but not everything. I want to spare for myself and my kids.


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