People used to say to me "Happiness is a choice." Somewhere in me I knew they were right but somehow I couldn't get it, and I continued to look for happiness outside of myself.
That message eventually found its way into my heart and I realised what I was doing to keep happiness at arms-length. And I was ready to make the necessary changes.
We all know the power of the 'word' particular those words we speak to or about our self. As I listened to what others were saying I realised how much they were holding themselves back from the happiness they were desperately looking for.
As I reflected this back to myself I could see clearly how I too was keeping happiness at bay through my powerful self talk. I heard myself saying things like: When I finish my book, then I'll be happy. When I open my practice then I'll be happy. When I have such and such amount of money then I'll be happy. When I pay off my bank-card or when I 'm out of debt then I'll be happy. When I know my purpose, then I'll be happy. And so the list of When I, then I, goes on and on.
Those things I said were like throw away lines; off the cuff remarks. I really didn't give those comments the time of day. I wish I had, because I now know there is no such thing as a self remark or a joke or a criticism made to one self that passes by. Our unconscious mind is like a sponge and we sill soak up these comments even if we say them quietly to our self.
In time, these thoughts or comments become a part of our unconscious programming or beliefs and we live believing that we have to do something, or achieve something. We think must have, or we must own something in order to be happy. I'm not saying that we don't become happy when we achieve some of those things but I noticed that the sense of happiness soon wore off and very quickly I was looking for something else to fill the void.
What I was really telling myself and then believing was 'I can't be happy until... ' And as I believed so it was, and happiness remained somewhere down the track - until I made some new choices. Whether I was referring to material possessions or personal achievements or that perfect relationship, I was always relying on something out-side of myself to give me pleasure or happiness. I kept that happiness in the future because words like 'when' and 'then' refer to a time in the future.
And how often I have heard parents say things like: When my kids go to school, then I'll be happy, when my kids go Uni, then I'll be happy. When my kids pass their exams, then I'll be happy. When my kids get their own car, then I'll be happy. When my kids can fend for them self, then I'll be happy. When my kids get their first house, then I'll be happy. And the worse of all: When my kids are happy then I'll be happy. When I know my kids are safe, then I'll be happy. And again the list of 'when I, then I' goes on and on. How will we ever be sure that our kids are safe? The only thing we can be sure of is the longer we keep putting off being happy until, the more unlikely we are to experience real happiness.
I worked with a woman; a single Mum who was so concerned about her kids that her only prayer day after day was for their safety and health. Every day she would declare out-loud: "God, all I want is to see my kids grow up safe, fit and healthy." Her prayers were answered and by the time her kids were in their early twenties they were fit and healthy. However, at forty this woman discovered that she had cancer. Was this a coincidence, or could it have been the works that came from her words All I want - which referred only to her kids. I wonder what might have happened if she had included herself in the equation and said something like "Thank you for keeping my family and I safe and well protected, happy and healthy" And with that having been said on a daily basis surely we can stand strong in faith that it is being done.
So how did I change things around? First I had to look at what my perception of happiness was. Maybe it was time to shift my perception? I was open to seeing happiness in a new light. I began speaking and declaring in present tense. I found that affirming every day thank you I AM HAPPY - as if I AM already - my unconscious mind soaked it up like a sponge and for what seemed like no apparent reason I became happy.
I made my self smile as often as I could, no matter what. I anchored a smile to my heart. This means that every time I 'think' of my heart, I smile. And every time smile, I think with my heart.
Who would have thought that a simple change in my thinking and my 'self talk' would change my life? My old habitual 'self talk' left me always wanting. My new 'self talk' created a new and positive habit which overcame me and became me. And with this new found sense of happiness I attracted into my world events, people, and material possessions which enhanced that happiness. However, I didn't rely on it to sustain happiness. Once the 'thing' passed, I found those feelings or basic foundations of being happy were still present, keeping the cycle of happiness flowing and the highs and lows to a minimum.
I did eventually learn that, no matter what I can choose to be happy NOW, not when. I can choose to wake up happy and go to bed happy. Happiness is a choice, or at least a decision. Yes it took a lot of affirming and confirming but I assure you, as you are willing to Be Happy Now, happiness will over-come you and become you, allowing you to now see your world through the eyes of happiness, what-ever happiness is for you.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Yes,-Happiness-Really-Is-Just-A-Decision-Away&id=9495043
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