When Forever Is Always Lost

Forever... endless, always, these are words filled with hope; is it really possible to believe in forever? Most people want to believe forever is a part of their life story but for some, forever is always lost. How is it possible that endless and always could escape from our reality; if it does, is it possible to halt this progression of lost opportunities?

Some behavior patterns create a rendezvous with a destiny we might rather avoid. Some are learned; others adopted as a defense to some perceived loss or deeply embedded pain in our life. The most typical of these habits are far more common than you might imagine. When we recognize the losses they guarantee it is far easier to break the habits.

1) Harboring anger and resentment allows bitterness to command our life. Once this pattern has set in it requires us to refuse contact with the person these emotions are directed at. This kind of deep-seated anger often rears its ugly head in families with sibling rivalry the leading cause. The smallest slights become unforgivable sins. Every emotion is amplified requiring any comment to be dissected and discussed endlessly with anyone who will listen and commiserate. Forgiveness is essential to heal this rift, requiring absolute honesty and a willingness to change the behavior patterns that caused the emotions behind the rift. In the absence of a real healing experience forever is lost as over and over again there are missed opportunities to build a lifetime relationship and memories you should have been able to depend on.

2) Becoming a zealot to any person or cause ensures that you have willfully given up your ability to see clearly, to be discerning and to act or react appropriately about any situation that revolves around the person or cause. You are blind-sighted and determined to remain so. Zealots are extremists who proselytize their beliefs while ignoring others right to hold a different opinion or position. They refuse to listen to and many times even associate with those who are not in agreement with them. Forever is always lost to them as they close one door after another to anyone who disagrees with them. They have lost the opportunity to have meaningful friendships or relationships that might have been very fulfilling.

3) Perhaps the most serious and crippling of all of these behavior patterns is the willingness to subjugate your own personal self-worth and foundation of your beliefs to any other person. This is typically a part of an abusive relationship with a partner, parents, a sibling or a friendship that becomes so important you lose yourself in the pursuit to become acceptable to another. The real horror in this habit is how little time it takes for the idea that you are unacceptable to become your new reality. You have lost you; sadly your forever's are always lost and may never be recovered. 

These are the most common causes, well worth recognizing and eliminating from our lives.

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