What do women want? This question has plagued the mind of man since the dawn of man, but the answer isn't as complicated as you would think.
In every relationship, or in any dynamic between two human beings, one of the parties involved always cares less than the other one. It's never a 50/50 split, even if you think it is.
If your woman left you it's because you cared more. Straight up. Now, I'm not saying that you should just stop caring about the woman in your life. This is not what I am saying at all, in fact for any relationship to be healthy love and trust must be at the foundation. But you must remember you are a man, and for a man to keep the woman he loves he must CONTINUE TO BE A MAN.
But what is a man? If you believe a man is someone who graces the front cover of Gucci magazine with jet black eyebrows, a six pack, and a stern look in his eyes, then you are a victim of social conditioning and will never keep a woman around.
A woman does not want you to make her the center of your life. The sentence is so important that you should go back and read it a second time, a third time, perhaps even a fourth time. It is the corner stone of manhood, and the ultimate secret to building a strong long term relationship.
I know what you are thinking, "I made the football game the most important thing today, and my girlfriend began to scream at me, how could this possibly be true?"
A woman will always try and fight it in the moment. She's a woman. She loves to dance in emotion, even if that emotion is negative, as long as she is feeling, she is living. She will also try to make your life hell sometimes by feeling all this emotion, but your job as a man is to make something else the center of your life so that you can stay stable. That's all she wants in the end. For you to remain stable as she dances in emotion. Many men say "women are crazy, they are never logical, why can't they just be normal?" My response is always the same, "go date a man then!" Because women will never change. The moment you accept that women will always be emotional, and that's just the way they are, is the moment you begin to live your life as a man. You stop judging it, you stop criticizing it, and instead of trying to make her happy all the time, you get on living your life and she can come along for the ride.
So what should be at the center of your life then? I suggest a life purpose, a grand goal, a dedication to never ending self-improvement. That is not to say you should dedicate everything to your goal and forget your woman, instead, if you have a purpose in your life, then her emotional dance won't throw you off. But she will try to throw you off. This is important to know. She will constantly test you, and poke you to see if you are really made of that stuff called manhood.
I know all this is easier said than done. But here are FOUR TIPS to help you in the search for your lost manhood.
Pick a goal, any goal: Stop waiting for lightening to strike your mind and for your being to be ignited into some holy purpose. This will never happen. Just choose a goal and start heading towards it, no matter what it is. I don't care if it's to learn to be a master dog groomer. Any path that centers your thoughts and actions is enough to align yourself with manhood and for your woman to start respecting you again.
When she gets crazy, just relax: The worst thing you can do as a man is fall into the emotional dance with her. She doesn't want you to get into her emotional whirlwind because then you will both be swept downstream without a paddle. She wants to dance, and wants you to keep the boat steady. Next time she starts to get emotional just relax, and enjoy her for what she is, which is an emotional creature.
Let her miss you: Don't constantly be texting and calling and seeing her. Give her the gift of missing you sometimes. I would also throw in there the point of not being naked in front of her all the time. After sex, a lot of guys just walk around the house naked, and then it's constantly on show. It's cool to be confident with your twig and berries, but you want to leave a little bit of mystery in the relationship.
Drop the ego: You are a normal human being. I know that you might think your problems are unique, but they aren't. If your woman has a genuine problem to discuss with you, listen to her. Leave your ego at the door and drop the need to be right, because that's a hard battle to win against emotion. As Tyler Durden once said, "you are not a unique snow flake".
Women aren't complicated. They are complicated when we continue to make them logical and rational beings. But this is not what women are. Women are awesome and emotional and gorgeous and just down right fun to be around. So stop trying to put them in a box, and start living your goals. The moment you make your goals the most important thing, the woman in your life will start to smile a lot more and unpack that suitcase.
Regards,
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