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Change Your Mind, Change Your World



Have you ever felt like you are not given the kind of respect you deserve? In a way like you are taken for granted or not taken seriously? In one way or another, all of us have felt this way. We've yearned to be looked at as an authority, someone people look up to and trust. We're not taught in school how to do this or our parents didn't tell us the secret on how to gain authority. It's something we learn and gain by ourselves. And the answer is as simple as changing your mindset. What? No way! Oh but is. People tend to underestimate the power of the mind. Change your game by changing your mind.

Take the time to look back and think about all the people in your life who were an authority, a leader, guy at work who has more credibility than you or the man who you look up to and inspires you. They are up there not for the reasons you think. If you really think about it, they aren't the smartest of the bunch, not the most educated, neither are they the best. And in no way do they even call themselves an expert or guru. No. Instead, they are up there because they are great teachers and advocates for the success of their customers or employees.

Let's take for example Richard Simmons. Who doesn't know this guy? This famous fitness personality has been a household name ever since he started gaining popularity during the first few years in his career. Stop and think though, do you really think he is the best person to really get people into shape? Is he the Einstein of fitness and nutrition? Or does he even call himself a master of his craft? Of course not.

People look up at him and give him authority because he is a great educator. Instead of sharing information that's far too complicated to understand, he figures out what your problems are and finds out a way to fix them. He even has social media that he updates on a regular basis with topics that are helpful and easy to understand for his fans and followers.

He doesn't try too hard to impress his followers because by now they're already pretty impressed with the commitment and desire to solve people's problems.

Depending on what field you're in, you can share with people things you know that you think they will want to know as well. If you're a nurse for example, you can make a blog post for common health problems and quick remedies people can do at home. Remember, the simpler you can make it, the better. People will trust you better if you give them easy solutions. Like Richard, you'll soon be the expert you'll want to listen to.

You can be an advocate also by showing people that you have their best interests at heart. Using the nurse example again, they can start up conferences to take up people's concerns and try to solve it they best way that you can.

So let's make a recap. How will you be viewed as an authority again? Make that mind shift. Find out what concerns and troubles your target. Give solutions. Show that you care. And help them climb up that ladder of success. Ladies and gentlemen, that's how it's done.

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Congruence: An Alignment Between Words and Actions


Live freely beyond any identity the world or yourself have given you.

Most of us when we talk with each other, feel that the person we have been talking to, express himself/herself through "second thoughts", through filters in a suspicious way making it difficult to build trust. In the book "The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem" Congruence is analyzed. Congruence is an alignment of words and actions.

For instance, congruence means that you:

Keep the promises you make.
Express yourself freely, regardless of your environment.
Admit when you flirt with someone and don't conceal your true intention about him/her.
The average human being has a pull towards creating his personal identity, which includes negative as well as positive attributes of his character. Unfortunately most of the time his "identity" doesn't exist to serve him but to restrict him. Observe a friend or maybe yourself when you try to get out of your comfort zone. Something deep within you pulls you back, keeps resistance. The exact same thing might happen to your friend as well, seeing them make statements like "that's not what I am like". But what you will later understand is that your close friend, in reality is full of excuses.

Most of the time our image and the information written on our identities are imaginary. The main reason that happens is because we haven't made them ourselves, they are constructed by our friends, relatives and generally our social circle, which is reasonable for someone who doesn't invest in themselves. The desire to be free mentally and physically resonates with our nature. To get closer to your goal I challenge you, day by day to leave a part of your identity and generally the image you have in your mind behind. Embrace freedom, live without an identity that drags you backwards!

On the other hand, everything is easier said than done. Action forms our character and particularly how congruent we are. Processes having to do with the psyche require time, no alteration in nature hasn't happened in a second. Every human being has the ability to test his congruence, day by day followed by small steps, discovering themselves.

A foundational step is the awareness of situations when we aren't congruent. Leave a comment below, answering the two following questions.

When do you believe you are not congruent, in which situations do you lose the ability to show your congruence?
What can you do about it?

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Wearing My Wounds In My Smile


If we ask someone what should we do when we're in love, that someone will say to follow the heart. But if our heart is in pieces? What should we do? Which way should we go?

The moment you see the person you love you realize how hard it could be to listen to your heart. I've been there... It was tough... But I got to the point where I carry all my wounds in my smile. And they matured me.

"I got to the point where I carry all my wounds in my smile."
I know how it is to be unsettled. To don't know what to do... But I tell you that... "Stop! Look at the world! It's so beautiful!". I know how tough life can be... I understand how is it to be unsettled, uncertain... But you know why? What makes us to be like that? I think we look too much ahead, we want to anticipate the world but in our colors. We make screenplays which let us down, which destroys our reality. And we live through them.

We create our happiness only through dreams and desires. Our happiness is related to people. We love those "ideal men" from our minds, because we make them so. In our minds it's all real... And this destroys our reality. Makes us to forget who we are and who are the people we love.

We're blind viewers of a silent movie... Because we always anticipate life, we forget to live it. And this makes us insecure. Life is not always what we want, but it's beautiful. The beauty is in everything, even in tears, pain, suffering, hatred...

"We're blind viewers of a silent movie... "
If we could live as we dream, did we cope? This will makes us happy? If we get everything, did we have for what to fight? Life is the most beautiful gift. At least, even we have broken hearts, we can decide. Let's choose to be happy! To really feel the life.

All we can do is to toss heads or tails... No matter what part of the coin will fall, because when we throw it up we already know which side we wanted to fall. It's not worth to complicate our life. We have to live it like a child. To decide with heart, with no regrets and we must not put pride and vanity above happiness. And, most of all, we must love with heart.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Wearing-My-Wounds-In-My-Smile&id=9344745

How To Upgrade And Enhance Your Professional Development Plan



Your professional development plan should not be boring. In fact, it should be making you feel eager and excited. This plan will help you develop the skills you need to thrive and excel in the workplace. It will also make you a standout employee in nearly every commercial environment. Following are a few ways to ramp these efforts up for increased enjoyment and greater benefits.

A lot of people think that their training always has to be industry-specific. Unless your employer has strict requirements that you must adhere to, you have unlimited options in learning to choose from. This means that you can start participating in instruction that you actually like and that also moves you a bit closer to your own personal goals.

Sign up to learn a new language. Not only will this add value to your CV, but it will also increase your ability to engage with foreign clients. Choose a language that is commonly used in your current work environment. In addition to becoming a fluent speaker, make sure that you develop strong, bi-lingual writing skills as well. This is known as being bi-literate and it can increase your professional value many times over.

Think about getting your license to perform a service that your company usually outsources. This could save your employer a hefty sum of cash. This is also a great way to prime yourself for promotion. Just make sure that you are fully certified before the position you want becomes available.

Look for a diverse range of training opportunities as this will make your professional profile more appealing to prospective employers. Veering outside of the norm will set you apart from the colleagues that you are currently competing with in your field. It will additionally give you the ability to supply more services and solve more problems for any company that you work for.

Take a writing class to improve your written communication skills. Do not be afraid to experiment with different writing types as all of these can benefit your ability to draft impressive letters and word yourself in a formal and appealing way. You may even be able to help your company maintain its professional blog once you have complete a creative writing workshop.

Learn stress management skills by attending a special seminar and retreat. Not only do your employers want you to be adept in managing their operations, but they'll also want you to know how to continue functioning well in tense and stressful situations. Not only will you learn how to control negative and unpleasant emotions while you're away, but you're virtually guaranteed to have some fun in the process.

Start learning web design skills, even if your current employer isn't in the technology industry. This will give you the ability to troubleshoot website problems and make informed selections on how to improve company web pages. SQL training courses, CSS and HTML classes will all make you infinitely more valuable in every professional role you fill. Courses like these are always worth the necessary investment of money and time.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Upgrade-And-Enhance-Your-Professional-Development-Plan&id=9384578

Working With Discipline on Being You



People spend minutes, hours, days, months, and years on trying to be the best person that they can be. There are all kinds of self-improvement programs out there for you to study and learn, but the success of your growth boils down to three things: Personal Growth, A Responsible Mind, and Diligence.

We all should strive to be the best person that we can be. Some do what's necessary in order to do this while others are haphazard in their approach. Before we get into our three target areas let's see what determines whether we sink or swim in our pursuit of life.

1. Upbringing

How you accepted and perceived information from your family and friends has a big part on you arriving currently in the place that you are now.

2. Social institutions

Whether it's the school system, or workplace, these two environments have played their part on what you have learned, been taught, or influenced by being a product of your environment.

3. Media

This here has played, and continues to play, a major role in the daily lives of people. Whether its environment, social media, or any other kind of media, these determine whether you have a strong character or are poor in your resilience.

But, there is a way that you can work on yourself and being you. Let's look at our three points of success in growth. By making the most of these you can override the folly and unproductiveness of the prior three points.

1. Personal Growth

Everyone should have the mind to want to grow personally, but unfortunately everyone doesn't. In order to grow up and grow tall you have to invest in the development of your growth. Everyone should also want to grow beyond the place that they are currently. Staying immobile can make you a stagnant person.

Becoming stagnant keeps you where you've always been, and it can destroy your productivity to propel forward. Every day you should read or listen to something that helps you to become a better you. This is what helps to contribute to personal growth.

2. A Responsible Mind

You have to face the fact that your current standpoint in life, and whether you go on to grow or fail, is your responsibility. You can't play the blame game and say that it is someone else, or something's fault for why you are where you are. You have to develop a responsible mind and take responsibility for your actions. Whether you succeed or not you still have to own up to your actions. Doing this shows a sign of growth and maturity in your character.

3. Diligence

You have to exert diligence and focus at being the best you that you can be. We know that in order to be the best this is not an overnight process. We are not a microwave case, and you can't snap your fingers and be the perfect person. It takes work, and it takes you being consistent and disciplined about becoming and being the best person you can be.

And we all should strive with diligence to be the best that we can be. This is your life, and you can either invest in the success and progress of it or sit back and let it wither away to less than the best.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Working-With-Discipline-on-Being-You&id=9385736

Daring Greatly To Be At The Pedestal



Daring greatly is not that terrible at all when you consider it. Setting out to do incredible things, surprising things and different components can offer you some assistance with growing and in adjusting with life. Things are always showing signs of change yet in the event that you contract from the difficulties, you could never know rush of living with certainty and quality if you do not learn and accept the importance of daring greatly.

Do you want to be imprisoned in trepidation all the days of your life? The time has come to leave your comfort zone and see your internal quality excel. There are many things that can slow you down and obstruct your plan and one of those things is your propensity to dread things, to dodge the things that you are not acquainted with or the things that are outside your usual range of familiarity.

On the off chance that you believe that you have lived minus all potential limitations, you need to reconsider and reflect again. Just when you set out to defeat your fears and hindrances would you be able to completely be satisfied of yourself. Find the valor to see past your fears and make your life commendable by picking up mettle and utilizing that boldness within you to change your life and your future.

Be solid when you surmise that you can't do it. In some cases individuals misjudge the importance of being brave and facing the challenges of this world. Try not to be wrecked by the things that encompass you yet wager the valor that you merit.

On the off chance that you believe that challenging is about winning and picking up a high ground, then you are mixed up in light of the fact that being brave is about quality and the mettle to confront your fears and soar above it.

Try not to be apprehensive. Daring greatly is not that hard to do if you have the commitment to do it. Try to look at the world in an alternate point of view. The more that you shrivel, you will miss the superb things that this world brings to the table. It doesn't imply that when you set out to do uncomfortable things that you can win. However, if you do it, you will understand the means of having a changed life and see you be free from the fears that have bewildered you for so long. Live, love, and set out to do incredible things in the coming days.

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BE the ORIGINAL YOU!



BE the original YOU!

The well-stocked super markets, the restaurants, the movies and the promos through the vibrant technology, seem to be brainwashing most to do things that only help in accumulating. Later on, most realize that all that was an illusion and that accumulating more and more leads to chaos which could disturb our cosmos. Most seem to be in stress & strain running after a lifestyle as defined by the society rather than living a life as defined by life itself.

ASSIMILATE TO ACCUMULATE

The earth takes in the rain and gives it up as water. The water is accumulated underground and then given up on searching and digging for it. The assimilation leads to accumulation.

Accumulation of thoughts and deeds are like a fruit ripening. The assimilation of nutrients leads to an accumulation that starts to overflow. The fruit ripens and is ready for harvesting.

Assimilation of positive things leads to positive results. Assimilation of the negative can lead to accumulation that is harmful like rain in old tyres becoming breeding grounds for mosquitoes.

Assimilate and evaluate before you accumulate to validate your accumulation.

Get out of the Illusion of living what the society wants to see - just BE the original YOU!

BE THE BEST or BE YOUR BEST

Imagine the bitter gourd competing with the cucumber just because they are vegetables. Or a pumpkin with watermelon because they are from similar looking creepers. Don't you think they will be dejected and rejected?

Our society seems to be obsessed with comparison, which makes them pretend to be somebody else. Are we trying to have more Steve Jobs who come out well in business or Aishwarya Rai who come out well on screen in whatever role they take? Where is the reality?

Be it Steve Jobs or Aishwarya Rai, they would like to be respected as themselves, not just for their roles. Unfortunately, we like to accomplish and possess, that which is promoted. Are then these things which produce the stress and the strain? We create tensions for ourselves uselessly in the battle to be the best, instead of bettering ourselves to be our best! Just be the Best YOU!

BE - DO - HAVE

Mohammed Ali the boxer, won matches and got name and fame, as he believed that he was the greatest. He actually worked on this. When he got up, he read a banner on the ceiling, which read, "I am the Greatest".

After reading 10 to 20 times, which made him spring up from the bed instead of just getting up, he stood in front of the mirror on top of which was another banner "I am the Greatest!

Now every time he read it, it got multiplied by two, as there were two Mohammads - one self and the other the reflection. After this, his brushing of teeth was brisk rather than the usual lazy one, which made them to gleam.

After his bath, when he opened his closet, on both sides of his door were two photographs of his, above which was the statement - "I am the Greatest."

With such positive deposits, Mohammed was able to walk out of his house 'Feeling Great'. This feeling converted into 'Being Great' as this helped him to go ahead 'Doing things in a Great manner'.

If in our sleep, when we dream that we are falling from a mountain, our thinking so produces an action, which throws our hands and legs up into the air. Accordingly, if our thinking produces our action, our thinking has to be powerfully positive for powerful Punches and Impact in life!

Thus, when you strongly and positively start believing in yourself, and start working positively on those things, which support your soul oriented goal, your achievement is guaranteed. A bank honours a cheque only when the balance is positive thus, you crystalize your dreams only when your belief in yourself, that you can achieve is positive, when compared to your negative thoughts and the conditioning by the 'NO' sayers, who give all reasons why you will not be able to achieve.

You are born to win but conditioned to live like a loser. Conditioning, comparison and criticism have eaten into our confidence, commitment and the like. Simply accept and respect yourself, accept and be the original YOU - to celebrate life

http://ezinearticles.com/?BE-the-ORIGINAL-YOU!&id=9394298

The Three Fundamental Factors



The goal of this article is to make you think of your surroundings. What surroundings I am referring to? I am talking about Friends, Family and Media. Stay till the end to expand your awareness about these three fundamental factors. All people want to improve their lives but they are stuck in the same habits.

1) They have friends that they don't challenge them at any level

2) They are massively stimulated by television and mainstream reality shows.

3) They continuously blame their family about their negative results.

Let's look a little deeper in the essential part of those three fundamental categories.

Friends

The first and foremost aspect of your success in any field, is the people you are hanging out with, your friends. We are the average of the six people who surround us. I am sure you can understand the magnitude of this statement. How many friends of yours help you align with your goals?

The basic characteristic you need is honesty. People who can be straightforward with you,, who speak without filters, when the time comes to ask for their opinion about a current situation you face. Let me point out that the honesty principle is a two way street. It's irrational to want from your friends to express themselves freely but simultaneously your ego gets heart every time they point out your vulnerabilities. The rest of the traits you are looking for is personal and suited to your needs and wants.

Someone might say "Does that mean that I have to abandon my old friends who don't help me achieve success?"

The answer is twofold. First of all, lets not be paranoid. You don't want all of your friends to challenge you every second and push you to become better. You also need friends whom you just have FUN with. It's extremely healthy and awesome. On the other hand, in many occasions there are signs you neglect. Friends that not only don't help you improve but drag you away from your goals. As always is your choice whether to keep them or not.

Media

Media is my favorite, because is completely manageable. Media can lift you higher and simultaneously have the means and persuasion skills to convince you to buy things you don't need to impress people you don't care about.. The effect that they have on you depends on you as well. You make decisions on a daily basis about your exposure to them. In order to avoid a possible misunderstanding, with the word "media" I am not only talking about television. I also include Facebook, Instagram, subscription to e-mail lists like the one you are right now, YouTube etc. Do they help you acquire knowledge and move forward in life?

Family

This one is the toughest... I can only speak objectively because my parents are extremely supportive and easy to talk to. You can't choose your family. (By the way there is a reincarnation ideology, which supports that we are souls passing through bodies and before we been born we choose our parents. I know... I can't believe it either, I just wanted to share it with you). What you can do if you can't choose your family? Well you can lead them by example. Most people choose the verbal way. Though it is efficient it is not enough. For example, most of us are not congruent with our family, we want to be understood by our parents but if someone asks us about their worries we can't answer specifically. We make assumptions and start to build anger from a numerous insubstantial hypotheses. We neglect just to shut up and listen!

I am getting off topic... My main question is "Does your family in general, motivate and support you to become a better version of yourself?"

What I want you to do is grade these three factors, in a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being "brilliant".

Friends (your answer) / 10

Media (your answer) / 10

Family (your answer) / 10

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Three-Fundamental-Factors&id=9398366

3 Ways To Work on Self Improvement



There are a lot of ways that you can start to work on yourself. People don't always think about that, but it truly is an important thing in life. When you have a good deal of self-esteem, confidence rises, and a lot of great things can come through. Millions of people find themselves stuck in a rut, not really knowing how to move forward, and find themselves needing a helping hand. Sometimes, the best way to get a creative spark is simple, work on self-improvement. How do you start? Well, the following 3 ways can kick start things for the better.

Write Down What You're Thankful For

The very first thing that you need to do is simple, start to write down what you are thankful for. Seriously, what do you love? If you focus on this, you will be able to narrow down the things that make you smile, and you can start to pursue them a little more. When you start to write things down, your mind will start to carry you to the good things that you have in your view, and you'll enjoy life a little more. This is something that many successful people do on a regular basis, and it's a beautiful thing, to say the least.

Start Exercising

There is no bad way to start exercising. Just get out there. You can even start after reading this, simply go for a walk. Walk around your block, enjoy a little bit of a push forward, and just let your body get better circulation and more. Exercise can help improve mood, help you gain a bit of confidence, and even give you a great deal of weight management. Research indicates that this simple step can help you with more than just looking good. It helps with improving mood, and so much more.

Learn Something New

There is a world of knowledge out there, and you can subscribe to it in a lot of ways. Improvement can be as simple as learning a new language. This alone will help your mind expand, and when you start to master the language, book a trip to a location that has this as the first language. For instance, let's assume that you wanted to learn Japanese. You start mastering it, and you then book a trip to Tokyo. Once there, use your new skills and meet new friends. Meet new friends, and you'll discover that you will feel amazing, a transformation that is hard to do any other way.

Changing your life is as simple as focusing on the above 3 elements. There are so many ways to work on self-improvement, but the above 3 can get you started. The purpose of focusing on yourself is to enjoy the beauty that is life. Just step forward, try something new, and enjoy greatness. These things will not come back void; they will bring a lot of great results. As long as you're willing to step forward, you will see that there is a great world around you.

http://ezinearticles.com/?3-Ways-To-Work-on-Self-Improvement&id=9410209

Giving Back To Yourself Today



Millions of people today don't give to themselves. They spend their lives giving to others, and they do not focus on a little bit of self-love. This is something that is a good thing. It is a beautiful thing to work on self-improvement. Whether you are dealing with emotional distress, or you are just burned out from work, you'll find that you can give a little to yourself and enjoy a huge wealth of benefits. There's a lot of benefits that come within the world of improving self. People pay a lot of money to see therapists to help them with this. While there are some issues that do require professional assistance, you can still work on giving back to yourself and treating yourself something grand.

Down In The Dumps

There are going to be times when you don't feel good. You just grow tired of the same routine. You're not alone. There are individuals that wake up early, commute to a job that they don't like, and they find themselves trying to figure out how to rise through and change things up for the better. You could numb the issue, but it's not a good thing. Instead, give back to yourself, and you will find that there are beautiful overall. To start giving back to yourself, you'll need to assess what you are doing and what is pulling you down. Whether it's work, family obligations, diet, exercise, or just the monotony of going through the daily motions, you need to address what could be dragging you down.

Rising To New Heights

Once you know what's wrong, you can start to chip away at it. For instance, if you are having problems at work, you can take baby steps to improve what you're doing. People that don't like their jobs have to find new ways of looking at it, to enjoy things. You could take on a new educational pursuit, something that will help lift the burden of your daily routine, and then start to invest in something new. Learn something new and you'll end up feeling better about yourself. This will help with confidence as well.

Find Something That Makes You Truly Happy

The best bit of advice that you can take away with you today is simple, give back through finding what makes you happy. What makes you smile? What do you love above all other things? Think about this. Once you start to realize what makes you happy, start to slowly pursue that. You don't need to drop everything and pursue this, but rather, focus on changing your life to allow for more time with that one thing that makes you smile. That's something that will help you gain the upper hand in improving your self-esteem and much more.

At the end of the day, self-improvement is not a difficult task. You just have to find things that you love and explore new endeavors that help you out. Whether you focus on your mind, or your body, push your own limits and you'll see great things come through, guaranteed.




Improving The World Around You Through Simple Means


confidence. Self-improvement is one of the hot topics that people discuss on a regular basis. There are a lot of different things that you can do to work on this, that don't require you to reinvent the wheel. In fact, you can find simple things to grow your daily life, and increase happiness. The joy of doing new things, improving yourself, and working through the momentum of life is easier than you think. Some people assume that in order to change, you have to go through some harsh life lessons, but that's not always the case. The following are just a few things you can do to help you move forward with helping yourself grow.

Start Reading More

The first thing that you can do to improve your world is to read. Read as much as you can. Don't like to read? That's OK, you can look for audio books that you can listen to. Furthermore, you could find books that help you with daily tasks, and improve your overall health. You don't have to become a scholar to do this. Just read a page a day to start. Remember, the way to change your life is not something that happens overnight, you need to work at it over time. The more you work at it, the better you're going to get at it.

Learn A New Language

If you want to expand your mind, and influence the circle around you, and even meet new people, learn a new language. Learn something that is a bit more difficult than the romance languages. Take on Chinese, and you will open up your world to all new levels. Or take on Punjabi, or something difficult for you to master. The more you do this, the more your mind is going to open up to new things, and experiences.

Find A Hobby and Start From Scratch

Here's the thing, you don't have to change your whole world to start improving your own world. Starting a hobby is a beautiful thing. Start with something you absolutely don't know how to do, and just start at the bottom. Seriously, just start from the bottom and enjoy the process of making moves within recreational hobbies. You may be able to learn how to golf, or you could learn how to fence. These things can manifest a great deal of momentum overall.

These things are just a few things that you are going to build your self-esteem, confidence, and improve your world view. As you work through these things, your mind will improve, your vocabulary will improve, and you'll meet new people. As long as you take baby steps forward, you're going to find that the world around you is quite beautiful to say the least. You don't need to be forever changed in 24 hours, so don't rush it. Take simple steps forward. You're going to find that there are great things waiting for you, if you just walk forward.



Abuse and Taking Back Your Power (By a Former Abused Woman)


There is a history of abuse, all over the world. I believe the most significant thing for anyone to learn and focus on; is ending the family cycle. Statistics show that abuse has been going on for many generations in families. On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States - more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year.

Nearly 3 in 10 women (29%) and 1 in 10 men (10%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by a partner and report a related impact on their functioning. Nearly, 15% of women (14.8%) and 4% of men have been injured as a result of IPV that included rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

I reflect back on my own family history of abuse. There are four generations of abuse, that I have knowledge of. The cycle has continued, due to the issues not being addressed. It is taboo for families to discuss family history and the cycle of abuse. I did observe both men and women being abusers.

It is common for an individual to be abused and become an abuser. There are various types of abuse; such as sexual, verbal, physical, psychological and emotional abuse. Many times the abused person tries to make excuses or hide it from outsiders. It is common to feel shame, for something which you have no control.

Many abused persons have low self esteem. It is common for a person to question their involvement in an abusive environment. It makes you wonder what you can change about yourself, to make the abuse stop. It is an emotional battle daily, to maintain focus on ordinary tasks. You wonder what will trigger the occurrence again; if so what can you say to stop it.

The person that is abusing you, will never stop to consider what it is doing to you psychologically. If at all possible, you should report it to someone you trust. It can be perplexing to someone who has been abused for so long to have a desire to escape an abuser. Many times the abused holds themselves hostage, because of the psychological restrictions they have placed upon themselves.

There can be many things said and assumed about an abused person. Many question why the individual has not attempted to get away or spoken with someone for help. It is a psychological phenomena, that only the person can explain clearly. I have observed men and women, with a history being abused, seeking out a weak or vulnerable partner and subjecting them to abuse. It is also possible that these individuals also abuse their children.

I have close personal knowledge and witnessed abuse on many levels as a child. As I reflect back on those experiences and ponder many things, the cycle had continued. It was not openly addressed. Until I openly discussed many of the event that transpired, it was never discussed. Many people think their family cycles were normal.

I too once believed abuse was a normal part of life, until I became an adult and started to observe more healthy relationships. It wasn't until I stopped dating and eliminated abusive men from my life, that I realized how unhealthy my dating history was. I can understand why it is hard for a person to break the cycle and escape an abuser.

Although the trauma takes time to be healed, it is possible. An abused person has to see, they are not responsible for the actions of another. The first step to healing, is to realize you are worthy of better things. It takes courage to stand up to someone who has abused you for many years or numerous times. I will tell you it is possible. Once you openly refuse to deny the acceptance of abuse; you have taken back your power.

I will share with you that I understand. I faced abuse in many forms in my life. I decided to I deserve better. I refused top allow family or a lover to abuse me in any way. I took back control of my life. I now refuse to be forced to do what I have no desire for. You have the power to set your standards and expectations in life. Make the choice to choose better for yourself.

The power to be, first starts with you. I AM is the Power to be. You control your life.

Reflect on your family history and find the cause of allowing abuse in your life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Abuse-and-Taking-Back-Your-Power&id=8821378

Mentoring Can Help You Grow



Mentoring can help you grow in more ways than one and that is something that can bring a lot of growth for you as well. Mentoring is crucial for you if you want to experience many elements to boost your personal development.

Remember that mentoring can help you connect with elements that can make you achieve the things that you planned for in your life. When you learn many things from different people and when you discover helpful tips from those that have the skills and expertise, you can attain those things that you aimed for. When mentors surround you, it can make your life take on a positive note. The word "mentor" originated from the Odyssey. Odysseus entrusted the care of his son, Telemachus, to Mentor when he set out to fight the Trojan War.

If you want to grow, you need mentors to help you learn and grow through sharing their knowledge and wisdom with you. In this manner, you can benefit from their experience without having to suffer the consequences of learning it first hand. Mentoring is a new way for you to see things in a different perspective. Learning from others is not that difficult if you are willing to grow and gain knowledge. When you gain knowledge, you can have a more positive foresight on what to do with your life and how to deal with the challenges that might come your way in the coming days and years.

When you want to undergo mentoring, it can shape everything in your life. It can help you see things in a different perspective and at the same time accelerate growth. When you learn from others, you can become more competent to overcome life's challenges. Another thing that can help you out while undergoing learning from others it the development of new connections and building rapports with others that can help you soar above levels of mediocrities.

Mentoring can be a positive experience for you if you grasp its whole setup. Moreover, when you learn from others you are cultivating your best skills and strengthening your weakness. It can overcome your shortcomings in more ways than one and usher in growth and progress for you. Do not elude the things the things that can benefit you the most but rather grab hold of the things that can make your life easier and less complex. Learn the essence that can be attained when you allow yourself to be mentored and gain the positive aspects of it.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Mentoring-Can-Help-You-Grow&id=9410393

How to Define Your Own Destiny?


"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped." Anthony Robbins.

Have you ever wondered the importance of our daily's routine decisions? More than we could possibly imagine. In order to define your future and reshape your destiny there are some steps that one should follow. All of them are based in "the moments of your decisions".

Most of us tend to ignore the magnitude of these three crucial ones.

Focus on things you enjoy.
Interpretation of life.
Willingness for Success.
Focus on things you enjoy.

Firstly, DETECT the things that thrill you, that interest you the most and make them part of your life.

Achieving that, requires some simple questions to yourselves first.

What are the things I like doing?
Do they make me happy in long-term?
How can I reach to the success?
So, the first decision is related with the things you choose to focus on!

Interpretation of life.

Secondly, how you choose to interpret things to your life?

If you approach situations you encounter in your daily basis in a negative way, you've already lost the game. If you interpret your attempts for reaching your goal as a failure, every experiment stands as a dead end. Eventually you walk away sporadically from your goal. If you face any snag as a "conviction" of your primary plan, you will end up distancing yourself from your own first decision. So, stick to it and no matter what, keep on trying till it finally works out. Did you know that Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was rejected 12 times? Also, a publisher advised J.K. Rowling "not to quit her current job, because she was an inadequate writer"! Can you imagine? But still, she kept in focusing in her goals.

How can I reach success?

The third decision and the most important one is what are you willing to do about it? What are you willing to sacrifice - (I assure you that there has to be some of that, too) -but in the end you would have enjoyed those moments as well. Whatever the decisions you make, you always have to show adaptability, you will examine the outcome and use the knowledge as a result of better judgment in the future.

Remember, if someone else is more successful than you in a specific field, that automatically means this person has made different decisions of yours in the same situation or under the same circumstances.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Define-Your-Own-Destiny?&id=9414843

Why Should You at All Invest Yourself in Self-Development Programs?

Self-Development programs are a burgeoning arena but have a lot to offer. What good can they actually do for you? Any ideas? Read on to find out.

Here is a list of the benefits they can provide you:

Self-Esteem: Self-Development programs naturally boost your self-esteem with the aid of affirmations, focus on positive thoughts, assertions and quotes. They have motivational books, which if you read, will empower you to great heights.

Self-Confidence: These programs raise your self-confidence and give you the right amount of dose to concentrate on your work and soar. If you are feeling a little down, grab a Self-Improvement book or better still, a self-help audio to raise your spirits and therefore, your confidence. You will naturally be back on track.

Motivation to Find Life Purpose: Going through a motivational book or audio on self-help will give you the spark and AHA moment to set your foot on your life purpose. You can gradually quit your day work and concentrate more on your life purpose, something you love to do and that inspires you every day. That way you will never have to work any day for the rest of your life and yet, you will have a lucrative career/business to carry on.

Getting better at talking, listening and writing: The programs in question can be in the form of audio, video, eBooks, or a mix of them, meaning they may come in a package. Take advantage of them while you get better at talking, listening and writing. You can use these talents to be a motivational speaker or even a novel writer. You will never know where you will end up; so make sure to take their benefits.

Motivation to Create Your Own Self-Development Programs: While you go through these programs, quite a bunch of them in fact, you will gather ideas, and more ideas will fall into your lap, which may motivate you to create your own Self-Development programs and help others by selling them good, quality and enriching work in this aspect with free bonuses in order to make an attractive package. There is no limit to what you can do and yet, these programs may just be the right nudge for you.

Summing up, considering all the above criteria, there is every reason why you should invest yourself in Self-Development programs. It's worth a try! So give yourself a good shot in this field!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Should-You-at-All-Invest-Yourself-in-Self-Development-Programs?&id=9433135

"No One Else Will Ever Want You" and Other Lies and Slanders (By a Former Abused Woman)


"No one else will ever want you."

It is as though he has taken a branding iron and seared the words into your soul. Rather than reject them and recognize that the one who speaks is both cruel and a liar, you find yourself teetering on the edge of self-doubt, pondering the words, allowing them to resonate and take root - undisputed.

"Why would he say something so hurtful? He must see something that I don't see in myself. What if I am truly unlovable, a loser, a failure?"

It is a heartless deception. Should you allow those thoughts to simmer, apart from a proper understanding of the abuser's agenda, you may begin to accept and even believe the lie, if for no other reason than the one spewing the slander also has the audacity to tell you that he loves you. It is somehow easier to accept that he is sincere than to believe that he is deliberately trying to hurt you - and therefore doesn't really love you at all. That option is just too painful to entertain, and that little crack in your broken heart allows his hurtful words to seep in.

What you need to know is that, if he can get you to believe his lies, they keep you bound to him. You will actually begin to see him as someone who is patient and even benevolent. He is willing to tolerate your presence, to put up with you in spite of your many, glaring inadequacies. He graciously gives you an opportunity to improve yourself when he is fully aware that you are a pathetic, throw-away creature wholly unworthy of him.

What a guy.

The moment you give his assessment of you the smallest measure of credibility, you begin to give him the power to define who you are. In a gallant effort to demonstrate loyalty and submission and perhaps earn his love, your actions may in fact reflect an assumption that his truth is the truth. The moment you set out on a mission to convince him that he is wrong about you, you actually give credence to all the terrible things he says. You put stock in the false identity that he has chosen for you.

Recognize that his words are deliberately designed to cut and crush and cripple. There is not a trace of love - or truth - woven among them.

"You don't know what you are talking about. "

"How can you be so stupid?"

"I don't need you; you need me."

"There is something seriously wrong with you."

"You can't do anything right."

"You are worthless."

"I don't know why I even put up with you."

His words tell you that you have nothing to offer, no rights, and no value. He has you imagining that there must be some unknown quality you lack that leaves you somehow unworthy of him. Yes, those things he says are intended to drive you to contemplate how truly ashamed you will be should this relationship thing fail. He is doing his part to blind you to the truth, for you are undeniably special and desirable, and you also possess everything you need to survive and thrive without him. It is important to him that you never come to understand that truth. He must keep you down, preoccupied with his never-ending madness, and groveling for his approval.

It may be a many-years-long struggle to get past whether his words feel true to a place where you can assess whether they are true, and I am certain they are not. Then, as hard as it is, you will have to acknowledge that the things he says are not grounded in any misunderstanding; those terrible things he says to you are intentional slanders and lies. Not only does he not care if you hurt, he wants you to hurt, because your pain gives him a strong, demeaning grip on your life.

In order for you to beat back the lies, you will have to fight to remember who you really are and all the things you have to offer. Grieve the knowledge that those words should have never been spoken, they were never deserved. The words were treacherous - consistent with the nature of the one who spoke them.

Let's look at this a different way. What are some of the things you might expect a loving husband to say to you? How about something like...

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me."

"I adore you."

"I am a very lucky man."

When I was separated from my abuser, he would occasionally call me late at night, when he knew I would be in bed. When I would roll over to answer the phone, he would always start off with a warm "hello" and begin his late-night conversation with something benign only to quickly escalate into a tirade of injustices and offenses he claimed I had committed against him. In my sleepy stupor, I would try to defend myself, reason with him, believing I could convince him of the sincerity of my intentions. He would usually conclude his assault with an impassioned flourish of un-tempered anger and hang up on me. And, I would pull my pillow close to my chest and cry myself to sleep, wondering where I had gone wrong, why he was so intent on hurting me and considering whether there was an ounce of truth in the midst of all the malicious things he said.

Of course, all those things he said were just lies. He knew I was not sleeping around. I was not selfish or unfeeling or stupid or arrogant or lazy or dishonest or suspicious or unforgiving or any of the other words he used to describe me. No, the sickening truth of it is that the man had almost certainly been strategizing for days, assessing my vulnerabilities, planning his attack, bent on emotional annihilation. His schemes included a mountain of different ways to keep me doubting my worth and my sanity in the hope that I would break under the weight of it all.

When I finally saw the truth about the nature of the man who was my husband, it was devastating. Yet that realization allowed me to shift my focus and receive the tender affirmation from my Father-God who came alongside to strengthen me, reminding me of my true identity and my worth.

In the years following the divorce, there were moments when I could still hear the echo of my former husband's shameful prophecy: "No one else will ever want you." But the day came when God brought love my way, and I am free to love and be loved.

You cannot afford to allow yourself to be swept into the deep darkness of your abuser's lies. Do not let him keep you from seeing all that you have to offer and becoming all that you wish to be. Look back, look within and remember who you are. Then look forward and choose to live a life consistent with your true identity. Hear the words of affirmation from the One who knows you and proclaims, "You are special. You have value. You are loved."

Something I Can't Resist



Is there something in your life that you can't resist? Others may say that they want all the things that money could buy. But for me, reading is something I cannot ignore. I find joy in simply reading pocketbooks, newspapers or any kind of book that capture my interest. No matter how busy I am, I really find time for reading.

There are some people who wonder why reading from time to time is important. Actually, reading is a vital skill to become a good communicator. If we have good communication skills, we can easily establish rapport with people we would like to talk to. Poor reading skills increases the amount of time it takes to absorb and react in the workplace.

Communication is very important in our day-to-day lives. Reading is one of the four macro-skills that we need to learn aside from writing, listening and speaking. Great learning tools include books, magazines and even the Internet. A person who loves to read can educate himself/herself in any area he/she is interested in.

Reading develops the creative side of people. Reading exposes us to a world of imagination. It shows us that nothing is impossible in this world. We are able to see things in a different viewpoint.

Reading develops our minds. It helps us comprehend things beyond its literary meaning. Reading with understanding not only develop our self-efficacy but also our self-confidence. When we know something, we are not afraid to share what we have. Our knowledge is our wealth.

When we have a high self-efficacy, we are confident to be motivated to achieve our goals. Efficacious people consider difficult tasks as challenges especially when we are knowledgeable enough to perform the tasks. Reading is a good tool to achieve this skill.

Reading stimulates our artistic mind. Reading also improves our positive self-concept. It adds confidence especially when we are able to meet and encounter different types of people. There's a saying that goes this way, "We cannot share what we don't have." It's true, but if we are equipped with the knowledge and skills, nothing is impossible for us.

Reading is also a sort of entertainment because when we feel lonely, we just read humorous stories to pacify us. By doing that we are able to relax our body and mind which is an important point because these days most people seem to forget how to relax.

That's why reading is something that I can't resist. It helps me become a better me. All of these self-improvements start from my passion in reading.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Something-I-Cant-Resist&id=9428464

True-Self: Does The Fear Of Being Harmed Stop You From Expressing Your True-Self?


If one was to think about a time when they were able to be themselves, they could say that it was possible for them to express their true-self. Whereas as if they were to think about a time in their life when they were unable to be themselves, they could say that this was a time when their false-self appeared.

This would show that although one can be themselves, they can also be someone else. It could be said that the ideal would be for one to have more moments when they are themselves than moments when they are someone else.

One Way

Having said that, there could be people who will disagree with this, and this is because they could say that the ideal would be for one to always be themselves. As a result of this, one won't need to suffer by putting on an act.

Still, while this is going to be seen as the ideal scenario by some people, it doesn't mean that it would be the best way to experience life. What this comes down to is that there will be moments in life when it will be in one's best interests not to reveal what is taking place within them.

Self-Protection

When this happens, it will allow one to take care of their own needs even though this might seem like a contradiction. For example, if one was to feel sad or down about something, they could come across people who are unable to empathize with what they are going through.

In this case, it will be better for one to cover up how they feel and by doing this; they won't be setting themselves up to experience unnecessary problems. Also, one could come into contact with someone who is aggressive and instead of speaking their truth, it could be better for them to walk away.

A Choice

In these cases one will be putting on an act, but this will be an act that they have chosen as opposed to something that just happens. Through behaving in this way, it could be said that this shows that they value themselves.

If, on the other hand, this wasn't the case, it would be normal for one to express how they feel to the wrong people and this would open them up to being invalidated and even abused, and/or to speak their mind when it is not safe for them to do so. Still, this is going to be radically different to what happens when one always experiences life in this way.

One Experience

It then won't matter who they are with, as they will always feel the need to put on an act, and this could be something that just happens. One is then going to feel as though their behaviour is out of their control and this is going to have a negative effect on their well-being.

However, this doesn't mean that one will always act in the same way, as it could all depend on the context. In one moment, one could act shy and as though they don't have much to say, and in the next moment, they could come across as they are there to entertain others, for instance.

True-Self

Through being this way, it is going to be normal for them to overlook their own needs and feelings, amongst other things. They could be completely estranged from what is taking place within them, or they might be aware of these aspects from time to time.

When one is around others, they could be out of touch with how they feel, and then when they are in their own company, this could change. But even if one is aware of what is taking place within them when they are with others, it is not going to make much difference.

Relationships

The people that they spend their time with could believe that their behaviour reflects their true nature. And while this could be because one generally behaves in the same way, it could come down to the fact that they are also playing a role.

As these people are out of touch with their true-self, it stops them from being able to realise that one is also out of touch with who they are. But regardless of whether the people they spend their time with are aware or not, it is naturally going to be a challenge for one to have fulfilling relationships.

Career

This is something that is also likely to have a negative effect on one's career, and this could then mean that one is unable to follow their true path, or that they only get so far in the path they have chosen. If one was to come across people who are doing what they enjoy or who are making progress, they could end up feeling as though they are missing something.

One could believe that although other people have control over their life, this is not something that they have. They could also feel unlucky, or that other people are more fortunate than they are.

Point of Focus

If one was to reflect on what takes place when they are around others, they may find that part of them feels comfortable when they behave how other people want them to behave or how they think they want them to behave. The part of them that feels comfortable is then stronger than the part that doesn't feel comfortable.

So if they were to ignore this part of themselves, it is going to cause them to experience fear anxiety. This then causes them to focus on other people's needs and to neglect their own needs.

Irrational

One way of looking at this would be to say that there is no reason for them to feel this way, as it is unlikely that anything bad is going to happen. Yet although it would be easy to come to this conclusion, it doesn't mean that their life was always this way.

Childhood

During the beginning of their life, they may have been brought up in an environment where it wasn't safe for them to express themselves. If they did something that didn't please their caregivers, they could have been physically abused.

These experiences would then have set them up to disconnect from their true-self and to develop a self that would have allowed them to avoid being harmed. At this age, their primary concern would have been to survive, and this would have taken place by pleasing others.

Awareness

It then won't matter that one is no longer a child, as the trauma they experienced during these years will have stayed within them. Once this has been dealt with, it should allow them to let go of the past and to feel safe enough to be themselves.

This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.

http://ezinearticles.com/?True-Self:-Does-The-Fear-Of-Being-Harmed-Stop-You-From-Expressing-Your-True-Self?&id=9439021

Adult Survivors of Child Abuse: How to Prevent Being Re-Victimized

Woman in Gray Tank Top Looking Frightened

You are no longer that scared little child who was subjected to the sick machinations of adults who abused you. You are no longer that child who had to shut up and be seen, not heard. You are no longer afraid. You are now a strong person who cannot and will not allow anyone to take advantage of you the way they did when you were a child.

As such, you now have the presence of mind and booming strength to cut off and stay away from monsters, which is anyone who wants to send you back to that time so they can twist you up, twist up what you went through to make you start doubting what happened. You are now strong as the Rock of Gibraltar Adult.

So now that you are now a strong, kick-ass Adult and there are poisonous people trying to do that to you, can you imagine the children who are most vulnerable to the abuse and machinations of adults? Can you imagine what they are going through? Actually, you don't have to imagine, because you now know what it feels like to have those same adults try to get inside your head to twist up your mind. Sadly and disgustingly, that is what adults do to children to get them to shut up and not bring shame to the family name.

Those children were forced to suffer in silence to protect the family and to protect the abuser because he maybe some prominent official, a religious figure, close friend of the family or he may even be a family member. The abuse is swept under the rug to protect the family name. As an adult you can now fight for those children and even fight for adults who are still suffering.

Take your mental health far away from those adults who are trying to twist up your mind to make you believe that you are lying or that what happened is your perception or imagination. The same is done to children. They are accused of lying just because the adult does not want to believe it about that person, especially if they are married to that person or for the fact that if they acknowledge the child they would have to acknowledge the abuse they had suffered.

Sadly, that may have been how they were manipulated into believing and was programmed to protect others at their own expense and so they suffer in silence and they believe the crap that was spewed at them and now they are trying to get you to believe and swallow that same crap.

And of course with you opening up and talking about what you went through it is forcing them to confront their own pain and they don't want that. So they will spew out the same crap that was spewed at them to get you to shut up. They will even slyly go to others to spew that same crap so that people who don't have much strength and understanding and who were taught the same crap, will try to shut you down. Or they go and ask the abuser if he did what you said.

Now you tell me, which abuser will admit to that? What domestic violence perpetrator and or rapist will admit to what they did? All that is doing is raping the victim all over again. Which is sick and disgusting. Only spiteful individuals who are in pain and is living in fear will accuse you of enjoying talking about yourself. Do not let them deter you from your path and your purpose.

Do not let them force you back to being a child who had to sacrifice their innocence to protect the family. No child should ever have to go through all that. No child should be prepped by a family member or a friend of the family to be raped. NONE!! Yes, molestation is rape. It is the rape of a child's innocence.

You have to be strong and have a rock-solid mind to stand firm against those individuals and not allow them to beat you into submission. You are opening up about what you went through to give a voice to so many who went through the same thing and had to suffer in silence. It is your selflessness, strength and courage that will help others to stand up against the abusers.

It will help adults to start looking out more closely at their own children to protect them and keep them safe. Allow no one to force you to shut up about your life. And yes, you have a deeper knowledge about how abuse affects individuals. You have healed a lot of what you went through and now you are stronger for it and so you can now speak out and infuse that strength into other victims. You know what signs to look out for in children and in adults. Continue being an advocate, continue sharing your life, your healing and your strength and you will be a beacon of light to others.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Adult-Survivors-of-Child-Abuse:-How-to-Prevent-Being-Re-Victimized&id=9271920

The 7 Critical Steps an Abused Woman Needs to Take in the Journey Towards Empowerment



What new thoughts does a woman living in an abusive relationship need to embrace to start feeling empowered in her life?

Unless women in abusive relationships get clear about the beliefs that program their thoughts and actions, they will not be aware of why they do things or the way they do things when they do them - they thus continue to find themselves stuck and remain in abusive, intolerable situations for longer than is necessary.

We are talking about a shift in paradigms.

Paradigms are thought patterns and beliefs that guide HOW WE THINK, BEHAVE AND ACT.

Here are 7 paradigm shifts that a woman living in an abusive, toxic relationship needs to make in order to feel a sense of empowerment in her life.

1) Let Go of Drama: Abusive relationships can be filled with lots of acting out, drama and noise. It is thus easy to get stuck in a position of always reacting and being sucked into the noxious behaviour of others.

Empowered women focus on staying centered. They put their energies into determining how they think, feel and act and thus do not get drawn into someone else's bad behaviour.

2) Define Your Own Beliefs and Values: Women who live in abusive relationships not only struggle with a sense of who they are and what's important to them, they struggle with issues around entitlement and the idea of embracing that they not only need to have their own beliefs and values, but that they have a right to live by them.

Empowered women not only take the time to think through what is important to them, they know that they are entitled, and have a right to have their own beliefs and values, and make every effort to live by them.

3) Let Go of Co-dependency: Women living in abusive relationships tend to put their focus on what the other person is thinking, doing and feeling, rather than defining themselves and their own needs. Their sense of self is often defined by the other person in the relationship and is located outside of themselves. They thus look to the other person in the relationship to enhance their self-esteem and self-worth, so that they can feel more positive about themselves.

Empowered women prioritize their own needs and know that this is not being selfish but that it is vital and necessary to their well-being. They understand that their self-esteem and sense of self-worth is located within them and not outside of them. They thus take responsibility for their own feelings, behaviour and actions.

4) Develop Reality-based Relationships: Women in abusive relationships often find themselves living in relationships based on hope and have difficulty acknowledging the reality of their situation. This allows them to continuously minimize poor behaviour and propel into a future of fantasy wishful thinking which is not grounded in present reality.

Empowered women pay attention to their partner's actions and behaviours and call them on it; they don't just focus on listening to their words, they pay attention to their behaviour and look for congruency. They stay grounded in the present and the here and now.

5) Learn and Understand Child Development. Women in abusive relationships are often unaware of the impact that aggressive, hostile behaviour can have on the developing minds of their children. Research in the area of child development tends to reinforce that the early years continue to be of prime importance.

Empowered women take the time to learn and understand more about their child's growth and development. They understand that Children are like sponges and soak up what they see and hear. They know that a continuous hostile and unhealthy environment is detrimental to a child's ability to learn and grow in a healthy way.

6) Take Responsibility for Their Personal Safety: Women living in abusive relationships can tend to lack an awareness of just how important their role as primary caregiver is to their children; thus they can minimize the impact and fear that their children experience when they witness and hear the person they depend on being mistreated.

Empowered women take action and take control of their personal safety as best they can, thereby relieving their children of this burden and responsibility; in so doing they reduce their children's potential for hyper-vigilance, fear and anxiety.

7) Understand the Importance of Role Modeling: Women in abusive relationships are inclined to minimize and can even dismiss the importance of the impact of what their children see and hear in terms of how genders relate to each other. They tend to unrealistically think that their love can overcome the negative effects of aggressive bad behaviour.

Empowered women understand that parents are teachers, and are thus responsible for modeling appropriate and respectful behaviours to their children, in order for them to grow up to be responsible, law-abiding people with good social skills. They understand that much of this modeling is done within the context of family life.

EMPOWERMENT means TAKING ACTION ON one's OWN BEHALF and rather than being acted UPON.

The simple act of changing her way of thinking in terms of how she views herself and her situation, can be the most important paradigm shift that a woman living in an abusive or toxic relationship can take in her journey towards EMPOWERMENT.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-7-Critical-Steps-an-Abused-Woman-Needs-to-Take-in-the-Journey-Towards-Empowerment&id=9312293