If you're not hustling, then you're not close enough to reaching your goal. Period.
This question originally appeared on Quora: What are 10 things you should definitely do before turning 30?
Answer by Christi Wentz on Quora
Here are my ten, given at 34 with the benefit of hindsight:
- Learn to like yourself the way you are. This doesn't mean you can't work on the things about you that you want to change, it just means you aren't changing yourself out of self-hatred. Take care of yourself because you love yourself. It is the kindest thing to do for your heart and head.
- Come to know who you are independent of other people's perceptions.People will tell you that you are not skinny enough, or that your teeth aren't white enough, or that you don't make enough money, or that you belong in some prestigious career. Sometimes, these people are trying to sell you something, sometimes they're your family. Figure out who you are for yourself. The path you should follow should become instantly clearer.
- Learn to accept rejection gracefully. Whether it's asking someone on a first date or sending in that manuscript, rejection sucks. When that happens, acknowledge the loss, but move on. Don't spend your energy or dignity insulting the person whose approval you once craved, simply because they didn't give it to you. You will only make yourself bitter, and you will look like a fool.
- Quit expecting opportunity to land on your front door. Lord knows it may happen, but often the perfect boyfriend or job opportunity won't show up on your doorstep as though you ordered it from a Pizza Hut menu. You can't just sit at home and wonder why you haven't found the perfect gig for your band or why you're not dating a rock star girlfriend. If you're not hustling, then you're not close enough to reaching your goal. Period.
- Learn to argue without fighting. You don't have to tear down or insult people you disagree with. If you stick to the facts, and they resort to name calling, you'll be the one who's able to look yourself in the mirror in the morning.
- Realize how short life is. When my father passed away, he was only in his early 50s. He had a passion for music and was a singer in a band, before his health overtook him. He opened for George Jones and Tammy Wynette (old country singers) and could have really been something. I think of him every time I put my writing to the side and fill my time with days of just browsing the Internet. Life is short. I want to do the things I want to do in life, before it comes to an end.
- Realize how long life is. I've said it before. "There's no expiration date on happiness." If you live to be 100, then you can start that programming career in your 30s and still work on computers for another 30-40 years. You can still fall in love and get married. You can still pursue your dreams. Don't let society tell you that life has to be a. Married b. Career c. Kids. There's no time-line or -limit, so figure out what you want to do, instead, and go for it.
- Realize that another person's education, background, color, etc. doesn't define them. It shouldn't even have to be said. By your 30′s, you'd better come to realize that the world is diverse and that people are much more than any single trait that you would like to categorize them in. Unless you plan on spending your life in a bubble with a completely homogenous group of people who all look alike, think alike, and share the same experiences, you need to know how to function in a world that is inundated with people who may be culturally different than you. You will reap numerous benefits.
- Live somewhere completely different from where you grew up. At least for a little while, get away from the comfort of the familiar and your family and friends. When I moved from the plains to the mountains, I unlocked a part of me I didn't know and goals that I wasn't aware I had. For example, I had never dreamed of walking behind a waterfall or hiking on the Appalachian Trail. When I got here, I realized there was a whole world of things I wanted to do, but that I had never realized or planned.
- Take the time to act like a child. Remember stretching out your arms wide and spinning in circles until you were dizzy, just for the hell of it? Or rolling down soft hills of green grass? Or catching crickets with your bare hands? Or eating a dripping ice cream cone from Dairy Queen on a hot summer day? Don't lose that.Those experiences make life magical. In your 20s everything seems so serious: there's the rush to settle down, the rush to get married before all the "good ones" are taken, the rush to have kids, the hustle for the perfect salary and the perfect tan. Let it all go. Take the time to just be a kid.
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