7 Things Great Leaders Always Do (But Mere Managers Always Fear)

Are you a great leader or just a mere manager? Here's how to tell the difference.

When I think about the difference between great leaders and mere managers, I think back to a day when I put my foot in my mouth.

I was working as a lawyer for a giant government bureaucracy then. One of my bosses had a fancy title, but everyone referred to him simply as a "manager." One day, he was grumbling a bit about his role. He was caught in a sort of bureaucratic no man's land--uninvolved in the big policy decisions, but also no longer doing the fun part of our work (trying cases in court).

Without thinking, I said something like, "That's why I'd never want your job. Just because they call someone a manager doesn't mean they get to be a leader." 

This was a pretty stupid thing for me to say, but I still think my point was right. In some organizations, almost anyone can get promoted to management if they put in the time and play the right politics. Instead of trying to become a mere manager, therefore, why not aspire to become a great leader? Here are a few of the key differences:

1. A great leader connects daily work with great goals. A mere manager focuses only on the short-term.

It's easy to get caught focusing on things that are urgent, rather than important. A mere manager spends most energy on the daily grind, and harangues his people for not achieving short-term goals, regardless of their long-term importance.

A truly great leader on the other hand, could hardly care less about TPS reports, or whatever the equivalent is in his or her workplace (and probably has to work to hide his or her contempt for such bureaucratic goofiness). What matters most to him or her--it is what truly matters most.

2. A great leader thinks of people as people. A mere manager sees only titles or organizational charts.

If you catch yourself referring to people on your team by their job titles as often as by their names, beware--you're on the road to becoming more of a manager than a leader. A real leader thinks of people individually and holistically, and tries hard to understand strengths and weaknesses, goals and interests.

I saw this all too often in the military, for example, where great leaders grew to know their soldiers, and lesser leaders referred to them generically, either by their ranks or occupational specialties. There might be nothing less humanizing than to hear an officer refer to his troops as a bunch of "11-Bang-Bangs" (slang for "11-Bravo," which is in turn the bureaucratic designation for an infantry soldier).

3. A great leader wants to earn respect. A mere manager wants to be liked.

Great leaders aren't always the most likable people. In the long run, great leaders recognize that their job is to get people to do things the might not want to do, in order to achieve goals they want to achieve.

Contrast that with "mere managers," who either want to be liked or try to convince themselves that they don't care. Great leaders know that cordiality is necessary, but also that they might sometimes have to sacrifice short-term likability in favor of long-term respect.

4. A real leader is thrilled when team members achieve great things. A mere manager is threatened.

In the grand scheme of things, a mere manager doesn't have much. He or she hasn't aspired to enough in life, and has taken on a bureaucratic role. Yet that's all he or she has, and as a result, the fear of losing it can be overwhelming. Thus, when a team member outgrows her role, a manager worries first about being outshone.

A true leader, on the other hand, takes his or her team members' accomplishments as a point of pride, and recognizes that the mark of a great leader isn't creating followers--but instead developing other leaders.

5. A great leader empowers people with honesty and transparency. A mere manager parcels out information as if it costs him personally.

We've all seen likely this issue firsthand. A great leader understand that all else being equal, transparency shows respect for your team and helps them do good work.

A mere manager, however, fears that sharing information can be tantamount to giving up leverage. So he or she holds cards close to the vest--and undermines the team's performance in the process.

6. A great leader understands that if the team falls short, he is responsible. A mere manager blames the team.

Once more, it all comes down to fear. A mere manager hasn't actually earned anyone's respect, and so he or she is constantly afraid of losing power. If the team doesn't accomplish its goals, the mere manager is primarily concerned about losing his or her role on an organizational chart.

7. A great leader cares mainly about results. A mere manager is more concerned with process.A true leader, on the other hand, recognizes that no matter why the team falls short, he or she is to blame. Even if he or she believes that a specific team member might have been the cause, the true leaders shoulders the blame and spurs the team to do better.

To be fair, some organizations' management positions are designed to protect processes, not to empower people. Still, if you're reading this, I'm going to assume that we have something in common, and that this kind of role holds little appeal for you. Seriously, who cares about process when the results are positive?

You might also realize that this puts you in the minority of leaders. Regardless, the main rule that a true leader lives by is that it's better to be resourceful, and that it's always easier to get forgiveness than permission.

http://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/7-things-great-leaders-always-do-but-mere-managers-always-fear.html

8 Reasons It's So Hard to Overcome a Tough Childhood

Understanding what prevents healing can be the first step toward recovery

Trauma experienced in childhood has a special ability to wound, especially when it includes emotional, physical or sexual abuse or neglect. The fallout echoes through the years and causes negative consequences, such as higher risks of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, obesity, behavioral problems, and health problems such as heart disease. One study that followed hundreds of adolescents over time found that 80% of individuals who had been abused as children met the criteria for at least one psychiatric disorder at age 21.

A troubled childhood can also lead a person to alcohol and drug use as a way to numb the pain or, conversely, to feel something. Studies estimate that up to two-thirds of patients in substance use treatment have childhood histories of sexual, emotional, or physical abuse. There is much to overcome with a troubled childhood, but help is available, and a thorough understanding of what hinders healing can aid the recovery process. 

Here are 8 primary reasons why freedom from childhood trauma is difficult:

1. The traumatized person may be slow to realize the source of their pain.
   Children have no frame of reference when traumatic experiences occur, so they come to see their reality as normal, especially if their caregivers are the source of their distress. Often, it is only much later—when exposed to healthier families or when raising children of their own—that they see how damaging their childhood was. Unfortunately, the longer a person waits to get help, the tougher it becomes to heal. (If you’ve experienced childhood trauma and wonder where you fall on the spectrum, a test provided as part of the Adverse Childhood Experiences study can provide insight as well as gauge your risk of developing related health problems.)
    
2. Co-occurring issues can mask the true problem.
   Those who use drugs or alcohol to deal with the pain of childhood trauma may become so focused on dealing with their addiction—what is essentially a symptom of the trauma—that they never discover its source. Unless that’s done, however, they are likely to keep cycling in and out of recovery. There’s another complication to trauma-based addiction: Fellow addicts sometimes provide the sense of family missing from a person’s life.
    
3. The damage may also be biological.
   Scientists now know that childhood trauma can alter brain structure and change how certain genes are expressed. In a 2012 Brown University study, childhood trauma such as abuse or the loss of a parent was found to alter the programming of genes that regulate stress, boosting the risk of developing issues such as anxiety and depression. Trauma-induced brain changes, according to a 2013 study, have been linked to a diminished ability to moderate negative impulses. Childhood trauma can also affect the brain’s neurotransmitters, boosting the reward felt when drugs or alcohol are used—and making dependence more likely. These new understandings highlight the difficulties of overcoming childhood trauma, but they are also leading the way to targeted therapies and medications.
    
4. Overcoming the past may mean remembering it.
   Some find the concept of revisiting the past too painful. Others may be willing but find it impossible to sort out the jumble of childhood impressions. Often all that remains is a floating sense of anxiety. Pain becomes tough to eliminate when its source cannot be pinpointed.
    
5. Closure can be elusive.
   Often times, getting those responsible for trauma to accept responsibility for their role in a painful past is impossible. They may no longer be alive by the time the traumatized person comes to understand the source of their distress or feel ready to address it. It can be tough to accept that an abuser will never be held accountable for his or her actions, or that there is no hope of ever developing a healthier relationship.
    
6. Answers may be sought in others rather than themselves.
   Often a person attempts to find in others what was missing from their life in an attempt to fix the past. Or they may become an approval-seeker who will go to any lengths to keep the peace or earn the love of others. Rather than valuing their own needs, they spend their energy trying to become worthy of others’ affection, often enduring further abuse in the process.
    
7. Emotions may be closed off.
   In some cases, caring becomes too dangerous for the child, so they numb themselves to feeling. This not only damages their ability to build healthy relationships, but it also complicates later attempts to access the emotions needed for healing.
    
8. It can be hard to silence the inner voices.
   Children buy into all the things they are told about themselves. If those things are negative—that they are worthless, lazy, stupid, ugly, a failure, or will never measure up to a sibling—it can leave them feeling both unworthy of a better life and powerless to change.

Source: Stefano Cavoretto/Shutterstock

While each of these scenarios  challenges healing, none precludes it. For many, treatment and therapy can dramatically improve quality of life—among them, techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy, which can change negative thought patterns, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a form of psychotherapy that can help a person retrieve, process and resolve past traumas.

Additional techniques and medications are on the horizon as research increases our understanding of trauma’s effects on the mind and body. We may one day, for example, be able to simply block bad memories associated with trauma, research suggests.

Also encouraging is that researchers and therapists are coming to understand that there is a small silver lining to negative experiences: They can sometimes boost resilience. Carrying an ugly burden from the past can weigh a person down, but it can also make them stronger.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/201505/8-reasons-its-so-hard-overcome-tough-childhood

Life Is Tough: Overcoming Hardship and Failure

Is it genetics, luck, or pure willpower?

“When life gets tough, the tough get going.” This timeless proverb may be true for some but, for others, hardship can be too much to overcome. When the going gets tough, their life simply falls apart. What is it exactly that separates those who thrive regardless of adversity and those who don’t? Is it genetics, luck, or pure willpower?

Consider that Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison before he became the first democratically elected president in South Africa. Abraham Lincoln failed in business, had a nervous breakdown, and was defeated eight times in elections before becoming president. A boy born to a teenage alcoholic prostitute and an absentee father found himself in trouble throughout his childhood, eventually growing up to be Charles Manson.

These examples are extreme, but they demonstrate the different routes people may choose when facing major obstacles. Some people turn to alcohol and drugs, stealing, or physical violence. Nearly 16,000 people drank themselves to death in 2010. Every year, more than 3 million children will witness domestic violence in their home. Conversely, many people have gone through hell and back and are moral, happy, and successful. As a youth violence and family trauma psychologist, it’s my job to find the turning point between the right path and the wrong one.

In my own life I dealt with hardship and failure. My family was poor. I had to cope with suicides, mental illness, and domestic violence; two of my family members died of alcoholism. My grandmother was a teacher and I thought I would follow in her footsteps. After attempting to go to school for teaching, I realized that I was not cut out for it. I felt like I had failed. When I was young, I tried to be a writer and was not successful. My first marriage was a failure, as was my first business. I was challenged significantly when I enrolled in my Ph.D. program at the age of 42 and my classmates were all 20 years younger.

And the story would not be complete without telling you that someone attempted to rape me when I was a young woman. I only told a few people. I cried and cried. I wanted to scrub the skin right off my body. Yet today, I can face my fears and am a big fan of “Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit.”

Despite all these trials, life marched on and turned out positive. I earned my Ph.D. I am a successful non-fiction writer and the author of two books that have sold well. I own my own practice, Eastern Shore Psychological Services, which has grown considerably and won numerous awards. And I am happily remarried to a loving husband, although I once told myself that I’d never marry again.

Why was I able to overcome the negative parts of my life when others from similar backgrounds have ended up addicted to substances or in jail? The simple answer is that I had enough protective factors in my life to outweigh my risk factors. For instance:

• The neighborhood I grew up in was safe.
• I was always supported by people who loved me.
• I did well in school and had opportunities to succeed.
• I had pro-social role models.
• I received treatment for depression and PTSD.
• There were many happy events in my life.
• I kept going, one foot after the other, no matter what.

The Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention found that children who have more than five risk factors (learning problems, maltreatment, chaotic neighborhoods, etc.) and less than six protective factors (adult support, life skills, clear standards set by care givers, etc.) have an 80% chance of committing future violent acts. This means that, while we all face varying levels of hardship, there must be a counterbalance of positives in our lives so that we may continue to grow and succeed.

Looking back at my family members who struggled, I realize that they did not have the level of support and education about depression and alcoholism that I was fortunate to have. At two points in my life, I had problems controlling my anger, just like my father. But I gained support through education and friends, and I learned to deal with it effectively. Without these support systems, statistical research says that I would most likely have failed.

It’s true that some of our ability to deal with hardships and failure has to do with biological traits and genetics. Some of it may have to do with luck. But mostly it has to do with the environment and people around us. Our parents, siblings, peers, educators, and community all play a vital role in shaping who we become. Life is tough and we all have our own challenges to face. But we don’t have to face them alone. With a caring heart and encouraging hand, we can all play a role in supporting others through their greatest hardships.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-the-cycle/201308/life-is-tough-overcoming-hardship-and-failure-0

Tired of Being a Negativity Sponge? 12 Ways to Prevent Energy Infiltration and Reclaim Your Energy

Do you ever find yourself taking on the negative energy of others? If so, you are not alone. Most of us come in contact with numerous people every day – who bring us down.

We all feel it. We know when we are with someone who is high-spirited and happy or someone who is low and unhappy, but why is it so easy for others to affect us in negative ways? Some of us cannot even go into supermarkets without taking on the woes of everyone in the store.  In order to shield ourselves from negative energy, we must first understand how our energy is infiltrated by others.

I worked as a crisis counselor at a well-known crisis center in New York for about seven years. I quickly figured out that if I was going to be successful at helping people, I couldn’t take on any negative energy. Because I uncovered the secret to keeping my energy clean and clear, I was able to assist thousands of people in dire need without once being adversely affected, and in fact, I consistently felt energized and fulfilled. If I can do it, anyone can.

Energy Infiltration

Whenever you encounter someone, whether in the morning rush to the bathroom or over the conference table, an exchange of energy is at play. There is your energy and there is the other person’s energy. At some point in space the energies meet. If you could be a fly on the wall, you would witness an interesting dance of vibration – with the strongest energy leading the dance. This means that if you are not centered in your energy field, your energy could be infiltrated and influenced by that of your friend, spouse, child, friend, parent or perhaps a stranger. So even if you are having a good day and you meet someone who is spewing their bad-day-energy onto you, your good day will likely turn bad.

You have been hit by Energy Infiltration.

This all happens without consciousness, but what if you actually brought a higher state of consciousness to all your interactions and relationships? What if you could be responsible with your energy and not be negatively affected by anyone’s lower vibe? What could this do for the quality of your life? And, for the quality of your relationships?

If you are going to protect your personal energy, you must first realize that your energy is your most valuable resource. In other words, how you feel on any given day is your greatest source of power and attraction. If you feel good, you are more connected to your power and to your ability to consciously create. If you feel down, you are less connected to your power and you are likely unconsciously creating – more of what you do not want. When we allow the negative or incongruent energies of others to affect our energy, we give away our power and we lower ourselves vibrationally to a level where we do not have the ability to consciously create.

This means that it is all about you, and you don’t have to change anyone but yourself.

This is why it is essential to make “how you feel” the most important part of every day, and not compromise your energy for anything or anyone. So, how do you do it?

Reclaiming Your Energy and Preventing Infiltration

1. Don’t Use Negative Emotions as Tools for Connection

It’s natural to want to connect with others, but we often do this unconsciously by matching emotions. In other words, if your friend is sad, you become sad in order to connect with her. Or, if your partner is annoyed at something, you mirror that annoyance in order to get on the same wave length. The thing is, every time we use negative emotions as tools for connection, we compromise our own energy, and even if we want to help our friend, spouse, child or co-worker, we cannot offer effective support or guidance at the low emotional level of the problem. How can you help anyone if you are suffering with them?

If your friend is depressed, you don’t need to become depressed in order to connect with him. It is possible to offer compassion and understanding without compromising your energy. If you can maintain a higher level of emotional vibration, you can be of greater service, simply by creating a safe space for your friend to express his feelings without bringing you down.

2. Let Go of Responsibility

The quickest way to be affected by another’s negative energy is to feel responsible for them or their experience. Every time you feel responsible for another, you take on the responsibility as if it belongs to you, and your body, mind and spirit responds as if you really are responsible and you must fix the problem. In other words, you take on worry, stress and pressure that belongs to someone else.

Feeling responsible for another is like accepting their baggage as your own; hence, walking around with their weight on your shoulders. How many people can you do this for without getting overwhelmed or even sick? Sometimes our illnesses are the result of carrying problems that aren’t even ours. How much of what you carry doesn’t even belong to you? Really think about this.

No matter how much you care about someone, you are not responsible for them or their issues. You are responsible for you and your experience of them, but not for them.

Don’t think that you can help someone by taking on their stuff as your own. The best help you can ever provide is through keeping your vibe high and inviting others up to meet you. They may or may not come up, but that is also not your responsibility.

Once you release responsibility, you can actually show up in a more responsive way and possibly be of service, instead of part of the problem.

3. Stop Playing Judge

The act of judging immediately connects us to the source of our judgement. This means that if the other person’s emotional vibe is low, your vibe will quickly match. Thereby compromising your energy in exchange for judgment.

As soon as you judge someone’s experience, even if it is silently to yourself, you invite the energy of their experience into your own energy field. Because the mind does not know the difference between real and imagined, judging something about another opens you up to taking on the energy of whatever you are judging, as if it is happening to you. This includes gossip.

When we allow everyone their own experiences, we don’t take on their energy or the energy of their issues. If it is not about you, keep out. Your mental interference in someone else’s life is not worth the risk to your energy.

4. Drop the Sympathy

The moment you sympathize with someone, you energetically take on the symptoms of the person you are feeling sorry for. Yes, sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone. This means that you can catch a cold over the phone or feel pain in your body when you experience sympathy for another.

Feeling sorry for someone is actually judging their experience – so when you feel sorry for someone, you lower your vibe to match theirs – taking on all that negative energy.

When you feel sorry for another, you are actually imagining that they are stuck in their predicament and they are powerless to heal, change or consciously create a new reality. How does it help anyone when you are imagining the worst?

You cannot feel sorry for someone and imagine them empowered at the same time. When you imagine others empowered, you also empower yourself and raise your own vibration.

The evolution of sympathy is compassion. Compassion allows you to maintain a space of love and understanding for others without compromising your energy in any way. Can you love someone and allow their experience without feeling sorry for them? Can you trust that their experience is somehow perfect for growth, evolution and awakening?

5. Don’t Give Anyone Power Over You

We tend to allow our energy to be influenced by those who appear to have power over us: parents, teachers, bosses, authority figures, etcetera. If someone in authority is having a bad day, and spews it on us, we don’t hesitate to accept it, or maybe we even allow these people to dictate how we feel about ourselves

When you remember that everyone is a reflection of your own consciousness, it is easy to see that no one ever has power over you. They only have the power that you give to them through your thoughts beliefs and actions.

The more you own your power, the more control you will have over your vibration – and not take on energy that does not belong to you.

6. Let Go of Thinking That You Know Better

When we think that we know better and we try to change others, we instantly allow their energy to infiltrate ours. If you don’t want anyone to affect your energy, then it is important to allow everyone their own experiences and their own choices. Don’t even have opinions about their opinions. In trying to convince someone of your “know-how,” you are likely to compromise your own energy. Remember how you feel is your most important asset – sacrifice it for nothing and no one.

7. Stop Reacting to Others

Are there people in your life who attempt to get their energy through drama? In other words, they try to invoke negative emotional responses from you, in order to “get energy.” Maybe you are even doing this unconsciously to others?

The moment you react, you give your power away and you also accept the negative energy of the person causing you to react.

In order to be angry, resentful, jealous, etcetera, you must lower your vibration, and as soon as you are an emotional match to the other person, their energy infiltrates yours.

If you want to own your energy and stay positive, it is just not worth reacting. The cost is too great. This doesn’t mean that you cannot speak your truth and set boundaries in a way that supports you and the relationship. This can be done from a space of clarity and compassion.

8. Don’t Take Sides

Others may want to use your energy to support their cause, but if it is not about you, don’t make it about you. Allowing yourself to get in the middle of another’s squabble or cause, when you know it doesn’t concern you, is basically a waste of your valuable energy. You can support others without getting in the middle, and without allowing your energy to be poisoned by another’s issues.

9. Do Not Accept Blame

Even if someone blames you or is angry at you, you don’t need to take on their energy. My five year old grandson spilled his ice cream in the car and blamed me because I hit a bump in the road. We talked about him blaming me so that he could feel better about the loss of the ice cream, but he really felt worse. People blame us all the time for things that are out of our control. Just because someone blames you, doesn’t mean you have to take it on. If you are responsible, be responsible and rectify the situation, but don’t allow yourself to be someone else’s scape-goat. You do not even need to react to the blame – just let it pass.

10. Say “No” to People Pleasing

If you are a people pleaser, you are likely very good at giving your energy away and therefore being affected by other’s energy. Because people pleasers put others before themselves, they are not responsible with their energy and therefore they become energy sponges for everyone whom they are trying to please. It is not your job to please the world. In fact, you would do much better at pleasing others if you first pleased yourself, putting your own needs and wants in first place. It is okay to say, “No” and set boundaries that create a safe haven for you to be responsible for your own energy.

11. Stop Believing Others Beliefs

When two people meet, the one with the stronger beliefs about life often dominates the energetic dance, but only if you are not grounded in your own beliefs. You may consider various beliefs presented by others, but don’t be bullied by someone who thinks that they know best. Sometimes others will even think that they know what is best for us and they try to infringe their beliefs upon us in the name of caring, but only you know what is best for you. Follow your own inner guidance.

12. Mind Your Own Business

This might be a hard one, but it is none of your business what other people think about you. You cannot please all the people all the time, but it is also not your job to please anyone. It only matters what you think, and feel, about you. As long as you try to control other people’s thoughts and feelings about you, you subject yourself to their energy. It’s like you are telepathically saying, “Please tell me how I should feel about myself today.” When you no longer have interest in what the world thinks about you, something truly amazing happens. Your confidence soars and you become super attractive – energetically and even physically. As a result, others will actually think more highly of you, but you won’t care, and that is the point!

http://wakeup-world.com/2015/03/26/tired-being-negativity-sponge-12-ways-reclaim-energy-prevent-energy-infiltration/

10 Behaviors of Unstoppable Entrepreneurs

Being an entrepreneur isn’t easy. It requires the kinds of habits that most people simply don’t have, along with a discipline, passion and dedication that are unmatched among non-business owners. And while every entrepreneur is different, we all have a lot in common -- including many of the same habits.

Here are 10 behaviors shared by unstoppable entrepreneurs:

1. They plan their day in advance.

In business, it’s easy to let other people’s priorities run your day. Phone calls, emails, appointments, meetings -- it never ends. Unstoppable entrepreneurs plan their day in advance, before the mayhem begins. But they don’t just make any old plan -- they make sure to block out time for their most important priorities.

2. They get proper nutrition and exercise.

This simply can’t be overstated. Being a productive, unstoppable entrepreneur is about your body just as much as your mind and will. If you don’t take care of your nutrition and daily exercise, you aren’t going to be at your best -- and you definitely won’t be unstoppable. Drink a lot of water, eat breakfast and get your body moving. You’ll be much more successful as a result.

3. They position themselves to serve.

Those who focus only on their own success are the ones who don’t succeed at all. To be effective as a business owner, you need to serve your customers. That might come through in the way your products make their lives easier or the way your customer service efforts delight them. Whatever the case may be, setting service as one of your top priorities is a surefire way to become unstoppable.

4. They set clear goals.

Every unstoppable entrepreneur has clear goals. Knowing your goals will keep you going when things get tough and give you something to focus on when you’re not sure what to do next. But your goals shouldn’t just focus on the long term. Have long-term, mid-term and short-term goals. Doing so allows you to plan your days and weeks with unmatched focus, knowing exactly what you’re shooting for.

5. They take calculated risks.

People have an image of entrepreneurs as those who take crazy risks just for fun. But while the risks we take may be crazy to those without an entrepreneurial mind, in reality, they’re calculated. Or, at least, they should be. If you’re the type of business owner who jumps in without knowing the numbers and probabilities behind your course of action, you won’t last long. 

6. They know their strengths and weaknesses.

Successful business owners are honest with themselves. They know their own strengths and weaknesses, and take them into account with every business decision. It takes humility to really examine yourself this way, but it will pay great dividends when you know exactly who to hire, who to partner with and what skills you can offer.

7. They hire A-team players.

Entrepreneurs that don’t succeed are often those who are afraid to have A-team players on their staffs. They either feel threatened or they won’t offer the incentives needed to hire the best. Either way, they lose. To be an unstoppable entrepreneur, you’ve got to hire the best. Focus on those who fill in whatever gaps you currently have. Doing so will help you create the amazing team that’s needed for success.

8. They are constantly learning.

Unstoppable entrepreneurs know that they don’t know it all. As a result, they never stop learning. Never get so busy that you stop investing in yourself and your knowledge of business, your industry and new technology. Staying up to date is essential if you want to succeed.

9. They are always looking for opportunities.

Entrepreneurs who are really successful don’t rest on their current successes. They realize that life changes quickly, and that business moves at an even faster pace. To be unstoppable, always be on the lookout for your next opportunity. Spot new trends in your industry, or look for a new application of an old tool. You’ll never get stuck in the old when you make it a priority to watch out for the new.

10. They evaluate their actions and priorities each day.

Successful entrepreneurs know that with every day, they’re building their futures. That’s why they rarely let one go by without doing a review. When you review your accomplishments at the end of each day, you’ll be able to celebrate the successes, as well as address the shortfalls. It’s a great practice to begin right away.

As I said earlier, being an unstoppable entrepreneur is no easy feat. If it was easy, everyone would be one. Instead, only a few have the privilege of calling themselves entrepreneurs. If you want to join this exclusive club, make it a priority to practice these 10 behaviors of unstoppable entrepreneurs.

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/246246

How to BECOME Wealthy

Aside from temporary setbacks and extraordinary fortunes of inheritance or luck, if you want to know how people feel about themselves, look at their bank accounts.

MONEY is the greatest measurement of one’s mindset.

This is probably why there is so much emotion and neurosis tied to people’s relationship with money. That is why I say if you want to fix your money problems, get your head examined. It’s your attitude about money that will rake it in or repel it from you. Your money, and your mentality about it is what we are going to focus on in this 2 part series. I am going to help you Look Within so you don’t Go Without.

In the book The Instant Millionaire by Mark Fisher, the old millionaire asks the boy who has sought his advice, “Why aren’t you rich already?”

Hey, that’s a good question to ask yourself.

We live in an era of unprecedented wealth and opportunity. More people have become wealthy in the last 20 years than any other time in human history—why haven’t you? Seriously, write that question down and answer it. “Why am I not wealthy?”

Your answer to this question will reveal a lot about yourself. Your answers will expose your self-limiting beliefs, your doubts, your fears, your excuses, your rationalizations and maybe some justifications.

You see, we need to Reprogram Your Mental Hard Drive.

One of the greatest limitations to achieving financial abundance is a deep-seated belief that somehow money is wrong and people who have a lot of it are inherently evil. This belief is invented fiction. It goes back to early childhood conditioning when a growing child is often told this because of other people’s envy or desire to rationalize away their own financial failures.

The fact is money is good.

It takes money to build hospitals, churches and shelters. Money is also needed to buy homes, cars, clothes, food, vacations and other glorious experiences in life. Life is limitless abundance.

To acquire money is not to take it away from someone else. Money is granted to the creator, the one who has built something where nothing existed before. Money is the instrument of exchange for valued production. Money is earned only by the producer. The accumulation of wealth is accomplished only by consistently applied effort and discipline.

Money has an energy of its own, and it is largely attracted to people who understand its virtues and respect its power. Money tends to flow toward those people who can use it in the most productive ways to produce valuable goods and services, and who can invest it to create employment and opportunities that benefit others. At the same time, money flows away from those who use it poorly, or who spend it in non-productive ways.

THUS, To Have More, You Must Become More. You have heard the phrase, “water seeks its own level,” right? Fortunately, or unfortunately (depending on your level), the same is true about money. Money will meet you where you are. Stated another way, your net worth will equal your self-worth. These are not just clever quips, they are wise truths—and stark realities for some.

So let me ask you, what would make you happy and boost your sense of well-being?

You might be surprised. You may realize you really don’t require any more money than you already have. Sometimes a simple change in attitude is all that’s needed to feel good about your life.

People often think, “If only I could get a promotion or a new car, I’d be happy.”

I want you to take inventory of the great wealth you already have. Ask yourself, “What do I feel grateful for in my life?”

Take a couple of minutes to write it down.

Now, if you were to show that list to most people around the world and they will indeed call you wealthy. You see, wealthy is a matter of context and perspective which ultimately creates a feeling. Feel thankful for all you have, and you will feel instantly wealthy.

Here’s the trick, once you feel wealthy you will continue to think wealthy and act wealthy, and it will charge the magnet that will attract more wealth to you.

People become wealthy because they DECIDE to become wealthy.

Those who believe they can become wealthy and are worthy of great financial wealth are the ones who will be. Because they believe this completely, they act accordingly. They consistently take the necessary actions that turn their beliefs into realities.

I want you to decide now that you ARE worthy of great wealth, and it will be your first step toward great prosperity.

Anywhere in the western world, and beyond, opportunity is everywhere. No matter where you look, you will find someone pursuing their dream and being rewarded with great abundance. For centuries, people have sacrificed life and limb just to get us to this point. You are here.

People with far more difficulties and much greater obstacles and limitations have gone on to become incredibly wealthy—why NOT you? People who are less intelligent, poorer, who had more difficult childhoods, fewer privileges and no support have gone on to make great fortunes.So can you.

If you think you can, you will.

Your attitude will determine your destiny.

So here are 5 Tips to Improve Your Wealth Attitude:

1) Write down all that you are grateful for in your life right now—read it every day.

2) Make a decision that you will be wealthy. Affirm that decision every day by taking ACTION in that direction.

3) Surround yourself with the people who are where you want to be financially.Read and listen to material (like SUCCESS!) that will support your new outlook and attitude about what’s possible.

4) Read and listen to material (like SUCCESS!) that will support your new outlook and attitude about what’s possible.

5) Teach others the attitudes of wealth. Once you teach it, you will learn it.

Let’s get to adjusting your mindsets and attitudes about money so that they become the magnets you need to get the money flowing to you instead of away from you.

http://darrenhardy.success.com/2015/05/become-wealthy/

5 Things To Remember When You're Going Through A Rough Patch

We often see our times of difficulty as blessings in hindsight — and I do feel like I’ve had my fair share. From heartbreak and disease, disabling injury, losing loved ones, poverty and many other traumatic experiences, I could literally fill a book with the hard times I’ve lived through, as I’m sure most people could.

But instead, I’m writing a book about how I got from a very low place in my life — miserable, self-loathing and hopeless — to a very good place, so I can remind myself of how I did it. It’s literally a 250-page post-it note that I can refer back to if and when hard times rock my boat again. Which they undoubtedly will.

Life never seems to just coast along, calm and smooth, for very long. At least not for me.

Many people may believe that the way our lives unfold is pre-determined by a higher power — that our trials and tribulations are tests or lessons that have been laid out before us and are beyond our control. While others may believe that everything experienced in life is entirely a product of our own creation — the good, the bad and the ugly — whether we are conscious of it or not.

I prefer a hybrid point of view. Perhaps it’s the control freak in me that doesn’t like to feel that I have no say, combined with the part of me that believes in magic and miracles. I like to believe that I am the creator of my own reality, but that I am also part of something bigger, greater and wiser than the "me" I hang out with every day. And I like to believe that although hardships and sorrow are sometimes beyond my control, every experience is valuable and leading me somewhere beautiful.

I believe there are only happy endings, but sometimes you have to look farther along in the story so that you might see them. That can be difficult to grasp when you’re in the midst of a crisis — trust me, I’ve been there. But from my current vantage point, in a moment of grace, I see that I’ve always survived — whether it was divinely ordained or some form of torture by my own hand. Whatever it was, the final takeaway was a rich, fertile experience that has created who I am now. And for that I wouldn’t change a thing.

Here are five benefits I’ve gleaned from the downs in the continuous ups and downs of life:

1. Experiencing things that you don’t want makes you are clear about what you do want.

It’s like research — some experiments work out and some don’t, but you're still gathering data the whole time. When something I really don’t like happens, I know I want the opposite and vice versa. With hard times comes amazing clarity.

2. Challenging life experiences gives you more empathy for others.

It’s crazy how often someone tells me about something they’re going through and I'm able to relate. Divorce, depression, anxiety — yep, been there. One upside to squeezing in a lot of hardship into only four decades on this planet is that I have a well of experience to draw on for empathy and perspective. I'm sure you do as well, maybe without even really knowing it.

3. When the going finally gets good, you will appreciate it more than before.

When I am healthy, I praise my body to the high heavens. I couldn’t walk for more than a year once, and now every step I take is a blessing. Today I have love, family, friends, and work that fulfils me — but I have felt the pain of going without each of those things.

The experience of pain can deepen your sense of gratitude — as Khalil Gibran wrote in The Prophet, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”

4. You are always stronger than you realize.

I have been in situations where I thought I could not possibly survive — and yet I did. And I not only survived, I thrived. Human beings are more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, and that gives us the confidence needed to face whatever new challenges lie ahead.

5. The survival tools you develop stay with you for life.

I've developed tools to utilize whenever times get tough again, which they always will — it's all just part of the natural ebb and flow of life. When I find myself in tough circumstances, pushed to the brink and grasping for any shred of joy, I will reach for relief in small moments of beauty and grace: A lovely sunset. A delicious meal. A great song. A hot bath. A funny video.

All we need are baby steps to help reconnect to our true self, which is pure, unconditional love and joy despite whatever it is we may currently be experiencing. That is our life’s work. If we never had hard times, we wouldn’t have an opportunity to practice it.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18742/5-things-to-remember-when-youre-going-through-a-rough-patch.html

Make Them Trust You With These 5 Body Language Secrets

Body language should help, not hurt. Even when the chat isn’t in person, how you hold yourself impacts how you connect with others and whether you present the best version of yourself. So, when the talk is important, use these strategies to show you’re strong, capable and ready for anything,

1. Eyes up and alert. Your eyes betray your focus. So, if you’re picking lint from your pants or looking for the exits, you’ll show your interest lies elsewhere and seem dismissive. For maximum engagement, do the physical equivalent of faking it until you make it. Start with the eyes, making solid contact, then nod in assent and raise your eyebrows while you listen. You’ll look alert and interested.
2. Arm yourself. Take note of your arms. Those placed behind you can seem regal and distant, while arms crossed over your chest can seem threatening. To look like a leader, keep your arms relaxed and open, even lacing your fingers together in front of you to seem centered, comfortable and interested.
3. Tall and proud. Where are your shoulders? If they’re over your toes or your lap with your back curved into a C-shape, you’ll seem uncomfortable in your own skin, turning people off. To convey confidence, hold your shoulders over your hips. Point your toes toward the person with whom you’re speaking, not the door, and lean on nothing. Practicing power poses – like superhero stances with your arms akimbo and your legs in an ‘A’ shape – can even help boost confidence before your talk begins.
4. Mirror, mirror. What’s your partner doing? Mimic their stance to diffuse tension and connect. If they are sitting, sit at the same height. If they are standing, face the same direction. Aligning your pose with someone else’s can help build rapport.
   
5. Don't forget to smile. Smiles put those around you at ease and signal to yourself that you're doing what you're supposed to. It may just help give you the confidence to land that client or nab 

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/245046

5 Ways To Radically Simplify Your Life

My past two years have been a journey toward leading a much simpler life. I didn't even realize when I started this personal journey that simplicity was even a goal. But as I opened my eyes and followed my heart, knowing that some central thing in my life needed to change, I realized that I was working to shed the unnecessary in many areas of my life.

What I came to realize was that many of the things closest and nearest to me were holding me back. This can be a painful and disarming realization, as it's hard to wrap your head around the fact that you are attached to something that is not serving you. 

But it's also an empowering revelation: you and you alone are the designer of your life. It's amazing how we as humans tend to make things so much more complicated for ourselves. Why? It's usually when our egos get involved. 

If you look at some of the happiest people in the world, it's not the concrete things that are bringing them joy. It's about a lifestyle and way of being. And this way of being involves recognizing things for what they are, in the present moment, without the need to overcomplicate things. 

Once I came to realize that my calling was leading me to simplify, everything started to feel so much clearer to me. The irony, however, is that just because something is simple doesn't mean it's a cinch. In fact, the quest to simply requires effort — specifically, the effort to tend away from our human impulse to complicate. 

During my time "finding myself," I travelled to Mexico for a few months, and found the simple house on the beach that I had always dreamed of. It was beautiful and all that I desired, but I missed home. I had put pressure on myself to live in a certain way in order to simplify, but realized that real simplicity is about appreciating things the way they are. In the present.

Here are five (simple!) tips to start radically simplifying your life. 

1. Evaluate your relationships and those that are draining you.

Ask yourself how you feel when you are with the people in question. Do they encourage and uplift you, or do they suck your energy and/or make you feel bad about yourself?

In the transition to simplifying your life, it's important to recognize that your friends and others in your network should help you thrive. Your life doesn't have the space for people who are depleting you. Simplify your social life, and you'll find that your relationships serve your life, rather than causing you further stress. That's how it should be!

2. Disconnect — fully — for one hour a day (at least).

I'm talking no phone, no email, no tablet. No distractions. I don't have to rehash all the negative effects that technology is having on our bodies and our society at large. And yet we all still need to be reminded to take a "digital detox." The first and the last thing most of us do in the day is check our email. It's time to disconnect so we can reconnect with our bodies and ourselves.

You can enjoy the digital detox time solo, or go out with friends, but make a commitment to turn it all off and enjoy the life that is happening right now around you, and not through the filter of Instagram. 

3. Sweep every corner of your home.

I am not only talking about using a broom, but also the metaphor "to sweep." Take inventory of your home, do a full sweep. Declutter anything that isn't necessary or that isn't actively making you feel comfortable, clean, inspired and happy. If you have things in your home that make you feel sad or bad about yourself, nix them. Your home is your sanctuary. So treat it that way.

4. Get really, really quiet.

I know a lot of people have resistance when they hear the word "meditate."But the list of scientifically-proven benefits of sitting to just be continues to grow.

When I first started mediating, I was definitely met with a wall of resistance. Of course, this wall was created for me by my own mind. I couldn't sit still. My back would start to hurt and my thoughts would keep coming, incessantly and aggressively. So I told myself I wasn't good at meditating, and that I should just give it up.

But those judging thoughts completely defeat the purpose of mediating, so I kept trying. Each day I committed to simply sitting still without judgment. Some days were easier than others. But I let my ego go, and I got super still. And with enough practice, I realized how simple (but not easy!) it was.

So start small: commit to just five minutes of silence and stillness each day. Without judgment.

5. Shred your "To Do" list, and make an "I Want" list.

I used to focus solely on my to do list. All day. All night. All of the things — big and small — that I was "supposed to do" tormented me. On my spiritual journey, I suddenly realized: "Why do I need to feel tormented?" It was so simple: I could just get rid of my to do list. This didn't mean I wouldn't do the things I needed to get done. But I could literally choose to remove a huge amount of anxiety from my life.

Instead, I started to take note of those things that made my heart smile, the things that took no effort to make me happy. In lieu of my stressful to do list, I created a list of things I wanted in my life. The mere act of focusing on my desires means that I now dedicate more time to those things.

Be spontaneous and leave the laundry for another day. Today, do something that you love to do instead. It's so simple.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17499/5-ways-to-radically-simplify-your-life.html