Stop Being Taken Advantage Of

Do you ever feel that you are being taken advantage of?  Are certain people constantly asking for your time, borrowing money, or relying on you for things that they could do themselves.  Where do you draw the line between being nice and being trampled on?

Let’s get clear from the outset.  I love to help people, to lift their spirits, to treat them with kindness.  I enjoy giving gifts of my time, energy, and money to others.  Perhaps you do too.  But, it can backfire.

I received a phone call a few days ago from a person who calls me quite often for help, saying: “Do you have a recipe for salsa?”  My first thought was to stop what I was doing, pull out my cookbooks and research online to find the perfect salsa recipe for her.  I said, “It will take me a minute to find one, do you want to hold?”

“No, I’m driving right now, so I can’t write it down.”  She replied.  “Just type it into an email and send it to me.”

I said I would help and started searching for the recipe.  In the back of my mind, however, there was a nagging voice that said, “She’s always asking you to do things that she could do herself.  She has access to the internet. You’re being taken advantage of.”  And I was.

This is a pretty mild example.  This person had developed the habit of capitalizing on my helpful nature to the point where I had become a servant instead of a friend.  Not only does this damage our relationship, it also diminishes feelings of personal independence and self reliance in the person I was helping.  I’ve seen extreme situations where friendships crumbled, jobs were lost, families broke apart, and health was threatened because someone allowed themselves to be taken advantage of.

So, the question is: How do you say “no” and still be nice?

Be Kind, Say “No”

First, you need to realize that saying “yes” is not always the best way to be nice to someone.  If, in agreeing. you are allowing the relationship to be damaged, if you are enabling dependency rather than personal responsibility, if you are setting the person up for failure because they haven’t learned how to do things for themselves, the nicest thing you can do is say “no.”

Foster Self-Reliance

Self-Reliance is confidence in your ability to provide for yourself.  Not just financially, but emotionally as well.  It means you do the best you can to carry your own weight financially, in relationships, emotionally, and physically.  It’s enjoyable to help people who are otherwise self-reliant, but draining to help those who will not help themselves.

So, when faced with an unreasonable request, rather than being angry or resentful, consider how you could foster self-reliance in this person.  Practice saying “no” to the request but “yes” to something that helps them help themselves.  In my example above, I could have said, “I can’t look right now, but I can send you a link to my favorite online recipe site so you can look it up.”

Value Your Time

If you are a kind, helpful person by nature, and you allow people to take advantage of you, it’s likely that you will gradually become cynical, angry, or resentful.  This doesn’t help anyone, and it certainly doesn’t make the world a better place.  Instead, be strong enough to value your own schedule and plans as much as you value others.

I once knew a woman who worked out of her home.  She loved the flexibility which allowed her to participate in neighborhood and school activities and to spend time with friends and neighbors.  Occasionally, someone had an emergency and she was delighted to be available to help.  Unfortunately, since she was always home a few took advantage of this and regularly asked her for unnecessary help and favors that they would never ask from someone who worked at an office.  Soon, her business began to deteriorate and she considered getting a real job.  Instead, she realized that she needed to value her work time as much as she would if she had a full-time job.  Then, if someone called for something trivial, she could honestly say that she was working and unable to help at that time.

This principle equally applies to anyone who finds that their time is being monopolized.  Schedule your time and stick to it.

Look For Opportunities to Help Others

Let’s face it, there is happiness in serving others.  So, always keep your eyes open for opportunities to help people who are in need, not just physically or financially, but those who need hope and encouragement.  Build relationships based on trust and self reliance.  We all have an inner need to serve our fellow human beings.  The more you do, the less guilty you will feel when you must decline help to someone who is taking advantage of you.  Instead, you will feel great knowing that you are nurturing the relationship and helping them to become the best version of themselves.

Success Tip:  Be as kind and helpful as you can to others.  If some start taking advantage, be kind enough to say “no,” foster self-reliance, value your time, and look for opportunities to serve others.

http://www.mindperk.com/articles/stop-being-taken-advantage-of/

Focus Your Thinking

The human mind is an amazing thing. It can store practically unlimited amounts of information. It can critically analyze the most complex of problems. It can distill millions of bits of information into a single thought or feeling. Yet, just like a sophisticated computer or a powerful machine, you must learn how it works to take full advantage of its potential. I am about to tell you a profound but little known fact about your mind. If you will learn to take advantage of this idea, you can harness the incredible power of your mind. Ignore this information and you may unwittingly inhibit the marvelous power of your mind.

Here it is: your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. That’s it. It seems rather simple, but then, so are most of the profound truths in life. The human mind, with all its amazing capacity, simply cannot concentrate on more than one thing at once. Don’t believe it? Try this: think about climbing a mountain in Switzerland. Imagine the beautiful snow capped peaks, the fresh air, and the exhilarating vistas. Got it? Ok, now, holding that image in your mind, think about the inside of your refrigerator at home. Try to hold both thoughts in your mind at the same time. You can’t! You can alternate back and forth, but you cannot think about two things at once. This is either good news or bad news depending on what you do.

The human mind is like a stage. Only one performance can play at a time. If a competing cast enters the stage, they displace the existing performance. The good news is that YOU get to decide what is playing on the stage of your mind at any given time. Stray thoughts can attempt to invade the performance from back stage. Yet, they cannot take over unless you allow it. The trick is to decide what will get your attention and then keep focused on what is important.

Think about it this way. Imagine an assembly line in a factory. Perhaps one week the line will turn out computers, the next week it might be re-fitted to produce radios, or maybe motorcycles. What if the line manager suddenly decided to manufacture baskets and radios at the same time by alternating between baskets and radios, every other one, down the assembly line? What would be the result? It would be total chaos with few finished products, inferior quality, and a lot of wasted energy and time. The human mind is the same. If a multi-million dollar manufacturing facility can’t do two things at once, why do you think you can?

Yet, many of us try to do just that. No sooner do we get our mind working on one thing, when we remember something else to concentrate on. When we are at work, we think about home. At home, we worry about work. The phone rings, the boss calls a meeting, you remember a task that you forgot to do, and on it goes. Rare indeed is the man or woman who can truly focus his or her mind on a single task long enough to let the power of the mind work on it without interruption.

Rays of sunshine gently warm the earth. But concentrated through a magnifying glass, these same rays can start a fire or cut through steel. Rain, spread over an entire city has little effect, but concentrate the rain in one place, and you have a powerful torrent, able to generate electrical power or move anything in its path. Likewise, a person who becomes distracted by sidelines, errands, and trivial pursuits is of little effect compared to the one who learns to focus his efforts and actions. This is the key to unleashing the power of the mind. It can become a mighty tool when it is allowed to concentrate and focus. 

Imagine the increased levels of personal power and effectiveness you would achieve by simply learning to do this one thing: focus your mind on the important tasks and problems of the day. Here are three effective tips to help you practice focusing your mind . . .

1. Set a definite time to concentrate on a given task, project, or problem. Do not allow interruptions or stray thoughts to displace your thinking during that time.
2. Keep a note pad handy to jot down stray thoughts that enter your mind when you are focusing on something else. Once these thoughts are written, you can forget about them until the appropriate time.
3. If you get caught up in destructive thoughts such as guilt, worry, or fear, practice replacing them with positive, constructive thoughts.

Remember the oft-quoted success maxim, “do the most important thing now?” Why not take it a step further and THINK the most important thing at any given moment. Do this, follow these suggestions, and you will be astonished at the exciting new ideas, innovative solutions, and dynamic successes that will naturally flow to you.

http://www.mindperk.com/articles/focus-your-thinking/

Overcoming Inertia

Sir Isaac Newton discovered that objects in motion tend to stay in motion with the same speed in the same direction unless acted upon by another force. This is a natural law. Think about riding a bike, for example. Imagine that you are speeding down a hill on a straight road. Suddenly, the road curves to the right. If you can’t slow down in a big hurry, what is going to happen? You’ll go off the road, of course. Newton further discovered that objects at rest tend to stay at rest. These are natural laws that apply everywhere in the physical world. Scientists call this phenomenon: inertia.

Inertia exists in the animal world, too. A rocky mountain hiker once came upon a sheep stuck in a ravine. He pulled and tugged at the sheep to try to free it. Finally, with all his might, he pulled the sheep to the top. He turned his back for one moment, and, you guessed it, the sheep had fallen back into the ravine. It wasn’t until he rescued the sheep again and then drove it away, that the sheep was able to go to safety.

What does this have to do with you and me? Plenty. You see, the laws of inertia apply to our emotional and intellectual life as well. Have you ever decided that you are going to change something in your life once and for all, only to find that with out realizing it, you have slipped back into the same pattern again? We all get stuck in a rut sometimes. The trick is to exert enough consistent force to be able to overcome inertia and create lasting change. And the key to this is time and consistency.

We’ve all heard that it takes 21 days to change a habit. This is true because, like the sheep in the ravine, we tend to slip back into old, comfortable ways. Think about a New Years resolution that you made this year. How is it coming? If your goals have fizzled a bit, here are some concrete ideas to help you overcome inertia and get back on track.

1. Write out your goal along with your detailed plan of how you are going to accomplish it. Be as detailed as you can so it becomes real to you.
2. Review the goal daily as you work your plan. Don’t let your mind become distracted or disoriented. Follow your plan.
3. Remember, it is going to take extra work for the first several weeks. Nothing worth doing comes easy. Change is difficult. But, if you can stick to it consistently for a full 3 weeks, you will find that it slowly becomes easier and easier. Stay with it and you will win!

http://www.mindperk.com/articles/overcoming-inertia/

Footsteps Along the Path to Success

You can learn a lot about life by hiking in the mountains. I recently hiked the Blanch Lake trail in the rugged Twin Peak wilderness area. Blanch lake is a small lake that sits between two high mountain peaks at about 9000 feet. The path begins as an easy, relatively flat stroll through a beautiful pine forest. After about 10 minutes, however, it turns right and heads up a narrow, steep canyon just under 3 miles to the lake. The trail is steep and rocky, rising over 2700 feet.

As I hiked up the path, I was struck with the many similarities between a mountain hike and our journey to success. Here are a few simple lessons we can learn:

Plan ahead. When you are on a trail, you become more conscious of your footing. I noticed that my eyes typically rested at a point in the trail about 13 steps ahead of my feet. In other words, my eyes viewed the terrain ahead and sent signals to my brain telling my feet exactly where to step for the next 13 steps! I was amazed that my brain could keep track of so much information and future planning, without taking a misstep. Your brain is your most valuable asset. You can use it to look ahead and plan your goals and activities much farther in the future than you might think.

When you encounter obstacles, pay attention and adjust. When the trail became steep and rocky, my eyes focused much closer, 3 or 4 steps ahead. Sometimes I had to stop altogether to make sure I was on the right path, or to climb over a large bolder. Similarly, on our path to success, we will encounter obstacles. This is the time to pay close attention to what we are doing and make adjustments when necessary. Your finest moments will probably not happen when things are sailing smoothly, but when you appropriately handle a difficult challenge.

Goals keep you going when you’re tired. Near the top of my journey, I began breathing harder and harder as the altitude and strain began to get the better of me. I noticed that my rest stops became more frequent and many times I considered turning around and calling it a day. But I kept thinking about the lake. I had never seen Blanch lake and I was anticipating a spectacular view at the top. I had also told several others that I was hiking to Blanch lake. I couldn’t imagine facing them and admitting that I had turned around without seeing the lake. So I kept moving until I reached the top. That is the power of a well-set goal. It keeps you going when you want to quit.

Everyone moves at their own pace. Several times on the trail, I passed people who were moving more slowly. Others, who hiked much more rapidly than I, passed me. But, ALL of those who persisted, fast or slow, eventually reached the top. So it is in life: our speed is not as important as our direction.

You reach your objective by taking one step after another.  After enjoying the beautiful lake and magnificent vista at the top, I began my decent. I could see the end of the canyon far below, and was amazed at how far and high I had travelled to arrive at my destination. How had I accomplished such an amazing feat, I asked myself. The answer, of course, is: one step at a time. That is how anything worthwhile in life is accomplished. Often we become daunted by the enormity of the task at hand. Forget about that and just take a step, and then another. Just keep moving and, before you know it, you will look back and be amazed at your progress.

http://www.mindperk.com/articles/footsteps-on-the-path-to-success/

5 Signs That Your Ego is Controlling Your Life

Paradoxically, what keeps the so-called consumer society going is the fact that trying to find yourself through things doesn’t work: The ego satisfaction is short-lived and so you keep looking for more, keep buying, keep consuming. – Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

Who is sitting in the driver’s seat of your life – you or your ego? I want to share with you five signs that suggest your ego is controlling more of your life than you may realize.

You are always looking for more things in your life – a bigger house, a bigger car and that ever elusive promotion. You are constantly craving for external recognition, approval, love and financial success. You believe that your possessions define who you are. Dreaming – shall I say fantasizing – about your goals occupies such a large part of your life that you forget to live in the present. Once you accomplish one goal you temporarily feel fulfilled but all too soon that fulfillment dissipates and you once again hop on the hamster wheel in pursuit of yet another goal! There is nothing wrong with having goals, but when you are focused on achieving them in order to fill an emptiness within you, then you have surrendered control of your happiness to your ego.

How much do you derive your sense of self from what you have?

You are always waiting for something to fulfil you

You constantly find yourself waiting for something to arrive, or wishing you were elsewhere. You say to yourself that having more money, that hot girlfriend, or achieving this or that goal will fulfill you and yet, somehow, it never does. Have you watched a dog chase his tail before? Your ego is playing with you, fulfilment doesn’t come in the attainment of goals, things or people.

Just think of time in the past when you accomplished something that you thought would bring you happiness and fulfillment. Did it really bring lasting fulfillment? How long did the feeling last – a day, an hour or just a few minutes?

People often compare life to a journey, as if you were riding on a cruise ship steaming toward a magical island of happiness. As a passenger you try to get upgraded from 3rd class to 2nd class and then to 1st class. You work hard subverting your own personal desires to befriend the captain, the crew and others in order to gain external recognition. You want to be liked by others and to be treated as an important guest so that you may be the first passengers off the boat onto the island of happiness.

Yet in life, just as with this cruise, you will never arrive at this magical island. While you were constantly waiting for the exciting future to come – it never arrived. Suddenly – often too late – one realizes there is no future but only the here and NOW. We have already arrived at the island. While you were busy looking ahead you failed to realize that all of the ingredients necessary for happiness could be found there in front of you. Our ego’s appetite for more often robs us of the present and – if gone unchecked – our lives.

What are you waiting for in life? Do you really need to wait?

You are always comparing yourself to others

You are constantly comparing yourself to others as if your value depended on how well you were doing compared to others.You are secretly jealous of your friends because they are more “successful” than you. You feel guilty allowing yourself the experience of great pleasures when some of your friends are not as “successful” as you. You hide information from others and feel that life is an unending competition. If I tell Ken about this scholarship or that job – will he take it from me? You feel threatened when there is zero need to feel so. Your ego is so powerful that you are ready to trade your integrity in order to “win” the “competition.”

Do you experience anger, jealousy or feel diminished in any way when someone around you has more than you? What does this say about you?

You feel superior to others

Your ego likes to create a duality where you are right and others are wrong.

Your ego doesn’t want to acknowledge that you too are partially responsible for the events that happen to you in life. To a certain extent, all of us have this feeling of superiority and if you don’t look closely you may not even notice it creeping into your consciousness.

Be careful because when you try to get rid of the ego it often returns again and again, in different forms. Here are two examples from my personal life that demonstrate how tricky the ego can be:

1. I realized that it is the nature of the ego to always look for more and more in life and so I acknowledged that this pattern of thinking would lead me to a dead-end. I cared less and less about materialistic things and I started believing that not being materialistic demonstrated a higher level of consciousness. Once again my ego was tricking me into feeling another sense of superiority.
2. I started practicing meditation and contemplation daily and reading books about enlightenment. And, again, my ego tricked me into believing that my new found spirituality made me superior to others. The ego is relentless!

Are you aware of the ways in which your ego tricks you into feeling superior to others? It might make you feel good briefly but it also makes you suffer each time you feel inferior to others.

You are fully attached to your story

If your entire identity comes from your thoughts, you are a prisoner to your personal story. You believe that your limiting thoughts are the reality and that your past experience defines who you are as a human being. Well, in reality thoughts come and go, and do not reflect true reality. There is no rule that says you should believe those limiting thoughts.

As a result of your past story, you may believe that you are not good enough, or confident enough, or simply not worthy, but your past doesn’t exist anymore and thus cannot define the essence of who you really are as a human being. It is only when you artificially go into your past – using your thoughts – that they start defining you.

Try to progressively detach yourself from your past and from any limiting thoughts that cross your mind. Remember that your ego likes stories but stories are not who you are and, as Eckhart Tolle warns us, “your story might not be that great.”

In reality, unless we are enlightened, to a certain extent we are all controlled by our ego. Our ego, by constantly wanting more and more, might motivate us to achieve more in life but can it bring lasting happiness?

Thomas Leonard, considered by many to be the father of life coaching, said that the “Ego is good” whereas Buddhists perceive the self (the ego) as the cause of all suffering. Our ability to think is a great gift that separates us from animals, but it can also be a great hindrance when limiting beliefs cause us great damage. Thoughts create our “story” which creates a false identity. Do you believe that your thoughts are the essence of who you really are?

Descartes wrote: “I think therefore I am” but if I shut off my mind and stop thinking, who am I then? Eckhart Tolle wrote “If there were nothing but thought in you, you wouldn’t even know you are thinking. You would be like a dreamer who doesn’t know he is dreaming.” Have you ever stopped thinking for a while – through meditation perhaps – and asked yourself “who am I?” You are definitely more than your “not-so-great story.”

We must always contend with the ego but it certainly helps to know what it looks like when trying to battle it!

http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/5-signs-ego-controlling-life/

15 Fascinating Facts About Smiling

Everyone loves the quote “laughter is the best medicine,” and as a nurse, I have experienced the benefits of smiling and laughter with my patients. In fact, smiling can boost your mood and even your immune system. Keep reading for more fascinating facts about our smiles.

1. Forcing yourself to smile can boost your mood: Psychologists have found that even if you’re in bad mood, you can instantly lift your spirits by forcing yourself to smile.
2. It boosts your immune system: Smiling really can improve your physical health, too. Your body is more relaxed when you smile, which contributes to good health and a stronger immune system.
3. Smiles are contagious: It’s not just a saying: smiling really is contagious, scientists say. In a study conducted in Sweden, people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other subjects who were smiling, and their muscles twitched into smiles all on their own.
4. Smiles Relieve Stress: Your body immediately releases endorphins when you smile, even when you force it. This sudden change in mood will help you feel better and release stress.
5. It’s easier to smile than to frown: Scientists have discovered that your body has to work harder and use more muscles to frown than it does to smile.
6. It’s a universal sign of happiness: While hand shakes, hugs, and bows all have varying meanings across cultures, smiling is known around the world and in all cultures as a sign of happiness and acceptance.
7. We still smile at work: While we smile less at work than we do at home, 30% of subjects in a research study smiled five to 20 times a day, and 28% smiled over 20 times per day at the office.
8. Smiles use from 5 to 53 facial muscles: Just smiling can require your body to use up to 53 muscles, but some smiles only use 5 muscle movements.
9. Babies are born with the ability to smile: Babies learn a lot of behaviors and sounds from watching the people around them, but scientists believe that all babies are born with the ability, since even blind babies smile.
10. Smiling helps you get promoted: Smiles make a person seem more attractive, sociable and confident, and people who smile more are more likely to get a promotion.
11. Smiles are the most easily recognizable facial expression: People can recognize smiles from up to 300 feet away, making it the most easily recognizable facial expression.
12. Women smile more than men: Generally, women smile more than men, but when they participate in similar work or social roles, they smile the same amount. This finding leads scientists to believe that gender roles are quite flexible. Boy babies, though, do smile less than girl babies, who also make more eye contact.
13. Smiles are more attractive than makeup: A research study conducted by Orbit Complete discovered that 69% of people find women more attractive when they smile than when they are wearing makeup.
14. There are 19 different types of smiles: UC-San Francisco researcher identified 19 types of smiles and put them into two categories: polite “social” smiles which engage fewer muscles, and sincere “felt” smiles that use more muscles on both sides of the face.
15. Babies start smiling as newborns: Most doctors believe that real smiles occur when babies are awake at the age of four-to-six weeks, but babies start smiling in their sleep as soon as they’re born.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/15-fascinating-facts-about-smiling/

How To Achieve A Zen Attitude To Cope With Every Day Problems

People usually have trouble responding and coping with every day problems. For a long time, I, myself, had trouble with my daily “problems”….

Why? Because we tend to react the same way every time. Our brain is lazy when it comes to problem solving. It has a “tried” response, that is usually easy to implement, and fast, you don´t even need to think, you just react to a stimulus.

For a lot of people this “tried and easy response” is anger. They react with anger to everything and everyone, and the reaction is an impulsive reaction, because there is no thought involved, just  emotions.

But, there is another type of response, a “more elaborate and custom response” to each  situation that we have, we could  create a new reaction in that instant. A response that requires our brain to take action “thinking”, and not just reacting.

Our brain is very complex. If we could simplify it in order to understand its functions towards problems, we could say that our brain has various types of responses. It has a double response, which is the fastest, and a triple response (these are my words, just to simplify things. A note of caution, I´m not a neuropsychologist, nor a neuro-something…I´m just a psychotherpist, trying to explain in simple words, so please bare with me, and if I´m mixing something please clarify in a comment.)

This double response process takes place in our brain and nervous system. It is caused by a  division in our brain in which our brain is divided into different reactive and thinking parts. According to neuroscience, we have three brains merged into one. Neoroscientist Paul D. MacLean (1913-2007) proposed that the human brain is really three brains in one, a “Triune brain”. A Reptilian Complex (Or sometimes called Croc Brain), a Limbic System (Central Area), and The Neocortex (The rugged part of our brain).

If we just react impulsively to a problem, we are actually using an Action-Reaction loop. For instance, I used to react with anger towards my daughter (She is seven now), every time she walked without shoes, and her socks ended black with soil. It happened every day, various times each day. She took her socks off – out came an angry  shout, from my mouth, towards her. My brain just reacted without thinking.

What I needed was a tripple phase loop, or action-PAUSE-reaction. The double loop is used by our reptilian brain, or croc brain, and it usually helps to protect us. It is why you take away your hand from fire. You react without thinking, BAM! But the triple reaction I needed, takes time, because it needs thinking. It takes our neo-cortex of our brain to carry out the action, so we can have an action-PAUSE-reaction setting for a problem, or in other words, your brain receives the stimulus through the senses, it processes the stimulus, sends it to the Neo-cortex, and the neo-cortex decides what to do ( Hence the PAUSE time), you decide what to do with your neo-cortex, and then you DO it…

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/achieve-zen-attitude-cope-every-day-problems/

5 Simple Ways to Increase Your Intelligence

Your brain needs exercise just like a muscle. If you use it often and in the right ways, you will become a more skilled thinker and increase your ability to focus. But if you never use your brain, or abuse it with harmful chemicals, your ability to think and learn will deteriorate.

Here are 5 simple ways anyone can squeeze a bit more productivity out of the old gray matter.

1. Minimize Television Watching – This is a hard sell. People love vegetating in front of the television, myself included more often than I’d like. The problem is watching television doesn’t use your mental capacity OR allow it to recharge. It’s like having the energy sapped out of a muscle without the health benefits of exercise.

Don’t you feel drained after a couple hours of TV? Your eyes are sore and tired from being focused on the light box for so long. You don’t even have the energy to read a book.

When you feel like relaxing, try reading a book instead. If you’re too tired, listen to some music. When you’re with your friends or family, leave the tube off and have a conversation. All of these things use your mind more than television and allow you to relax.

2. Exercise – I used to think that I’d learn more by not exercising and using the time to read a book instead. But I realized that time spent exercising always leads to greater learning because it improves productivity during the time afterwards. Using your body clears your head and creates a wave of energy. Afterwards, you feel invigorated and can concentrate more easily.

3. Read Challenging Books – Many people like to read popular suspense fiction, but generally these books aren’t mentally stimulating. If you want to improve your thinking and writing ability you should read books that make you focus. Reading a classic novel can change your view of the world and will make you think in more precise, elegant English. Don’t be afraid to look up a word if you don’t know it, and don’t be afraid of dense passages. Take your time, re-read when necessary, and you’ll soon grow accustomed to the author’s style.

Once you get used to reading challenging books, I think you’ll find that you aren’t tempted to go back to page-turners. The challenge of learning new ideas is far more exciting than any tacky suspense-thriller.

4. Early to Bed, Early to Rise – Nothing makes it harder to concentrate than sleep deprivation. You’ll be most rejuvenated if you go to bed early and don’t sleep more than 8 hours. If you stay up late and compensate by sleeping late, you’ll wake up lethargic and have trouble focusing. In my experience the early morning hours are the most tranquil and productive. Waking up early gives you more productive hours and maximizes your mental acuity all day.

If you have the opportunity, take 10-20 minute naps when you are hit with a wave of drowsiness. Anything longer will make you lethargic, but a short nap will refresh you.

5. Take Time to Reflect – Often our lives get so hectic that we become overwhelmed without even realizing it. It becomes difficult to concentrate because nagging thoughts keep interrupting. Spending some time alone in reflection gives you a chance organize your thoughts and prioritize your responsibilities. Afterwards, you’ll have a better understanding of what’s important and what isn’t. The unimportant stuff won’t bother you anymore and your mind will feel less encumbered.

I’m not saying you need to sit on the floor cross-legged and chant ‘ommm’. Anything that allows a bit of prolonged solitude will do. One of my personal favorites is taking a solitary walk. Someone famous said, “All the best ideas occur while walking.” I think he was on to something. Experiment to find the activity that works best for you.

Conclusion – I hope you aren’t disappointed that none of the techniques I’ve proposed are revolutionary. But simple, unexciting answers are often the most valid. The challenge is having the will to adhere to them. If you succeed in following these 5 tips, you’ll be rewarded with increased mental acuity and retention of knowledge.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/5-simple-ways-to-make-the-most-of-your-intelligence/

5 Excuses that Stop You From Reaching Your Dream

The moment you set your mind to pursue a big dream is magical.  It energizes you and excites you.

But as you start to make plans, things fall apart.  What looked great in your head doesn’t look as good on paper.

The thoughts that once filled your head with enthusiasm and motivation are gone.  Now all you have are worries and doubts.  You start to wonder if you should even pursue your dream at all.

Does this scenario sound familiar?  If it does, you’re not alone.

Thinking about worries and doubts can be demotivating and cause you to stop pursuing your dreams even before you get started.

But what if all you’re telling yourself are just excuses that aren’t based in reality?

We’ve all held ourselves back because of an excuse.  I’m no exception.

When I was younger, I wanted to travel abroad.  But each time I thought about it, I came up with a long list of reasons why it would be impossible.

How would I get around?  Wouldn’t it be too expensive?  Isn’t it dangerous?

Years passed before I finally took the leap.  I pushed past those excuses and bought a plane ticket to South-east Asia.

Once I did it, I could see how those excuses had been holding me back all that time.  I could finally see that they weren’t legitimate obstacles; it was all in my head.

The truth is that every big dream can be knocked down and dismissed away by an excuse or two.  The key is to recognize when excuses are popping up so they don’t prevent you from living the life you want.

Here are some common excuses that will hold you back from your dreams:

1. There isn’t enough time

There are only 24 hours in a day.  That will never change.  So if you have a lot of things filling up that time, it can seem like an impossible obstacle to overcome.

But sometimes finding time is about re-prioritization.  Are there any activities you would be willing to give up?  Is there something you’re doing that someone else could just as easily do?

These are the kind of questions you need to be asking.

Making time to pursue your dream should be made a high priority.  When something really matters, you have to make time for it.

2. I’m too afraid

There are all kinds of fear.  You might be afraid of making mistakes, failing, being inadequate or just fear the unknown.  Any one of these can pop up and derail your path to your dream.

It’s important to recognize and deal with fear as it arises.  It’s natural to be a little scared of big decisions.

But remember that most fears are emotional, not logical.

Before I went traveling, many people said they were afraid of being assaulted or involved in a terrorist attack.

But the real biggest danger of travelling is being involved in a car accident.  It injures or kills more travellers a year than anything else.  Yet it’s also the travel fear people never mention.

Ask yourself if there is really something behind your fear.  It might not be as scary as you think.

3. I don’t have enough money

There might be a legitimate argument to make when it comes to financing your dream.  But look closer before dismissing your dream for this reason.

Often there are low-cost solutions that you might have never considered before.  Consider how much you actually need.  Put costs down on paper.

And remember, even if money is a problem, it doesn’t mean it isn’t insurmountable.  There are often ways to save a little on the side to fund your dreams.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

4. It’s not possible for me to do it

Sometimes your dream can seem unrealistic.  You might have high goals with huge obstacles that seem insurmountable.

The problem with seeing something as impossible is that people often confuse it with being simply difficult.  What you want to do might seem so hard that you don’t think that you could ever do it.

It’s not that it’s impossible.  It’s that you don’t think it’s possible for you.

It’s easier to get around this excuse by taking a different viewpoint.  Focus on why you’re able to do something, not on why you can’t.  It gets you off that “impossible mindset” and on to something more constructive.

5. Now isn’t the right time to start

The unfortunate truth about life is that there is never a perfect time to do anything.  There are always conditions, personal situations or environmental factors for not doing it.

Of course that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it anyway.

There are countless examples of people achieving big goals in the worst circumstances.  For example, the owners of HP and Revlon are big companies now, but started up in the 1930s when the country’s worst economic crisis hit.

If you wait for all the conditions to be perfect, you’ll always be waiting.  Before you know it, years have gone by and you haven’t taken a single step to make it happen.

Time goes by quickly when you’re waiting for the perfect moment.

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