Everything that passes through your mind has an effect on your happiness, how you feel, your optimism, your overall success, and your general outlook on life. These thoughts are of two kinds: focussed and wandering. And associated with them are what is called the focussed mode and the wandering mode (which is usually referred to as the default mode). In the default mode your thoughts change quickly, are not focussed, usually have no order, and for the most part are not under your control. This article will show you that the focussed mode is much more desirable for happiness and contentment.
The Focussed Mode and the Default Mode
In the focussed mode your thoughts are under your control. They are directed at something you are interested in and they are concentrated on a particular topic or subject. When you are in this mode you are not worried about anything. You are preoccupied, and your attention is directed so intently you feel no stress. You are occupied with events of the present.
In the default mode, on the other hand, your thoughts "float" through your mind, with most of them directed at the past or future. You think about mistakes you made in the past, things you should have done differently. You also worry about the future, and questions like "What if... ?" start to form. In general, most of your thoughts in the default mode are negative, and if not controlled will eventually lead to anxiety, depression, and loss of sleep. Strangely, the default mode is, to a large degree, built into us early on, and it can become a habit that is hard to break.
For people who spend a lot of time in the default mode (a lot of time with their mind wandering), life can get boring and uninteresting. They lose their joy of living and drag themselves through each day. In the default mode we frequently don't know what we want, and when we get it, we immediately want something new. We're never satisfied. So it's important to get out of the default mode before it starts to overcome you.
How to Achieve the Focussed Mode
To get out of the default mode and into the focussed mode usually takes a serious effort. Of course you'll never be able to stay in the focussed mode all the time, and you shouldn't strive for this. All you really need is to be there most of the time. And to do this you have to concentrate on the present, and forget the past and future (as much as possible). This requires what is called attention training, which is training your brain to focus on the present. When your mind wanders to the past or future, or to negative thoughts in general, bring it back to the present as quickly as possible. Try to see how long you can stay in the focussed mode. In particular, try to gradually increase it.
There are, of course, many things that can help you with this. Two of the main things you want to achieve with it are joy and contentment. Everyone wants to be happy and experience joy, and at the same time they want contentment. Think of the main things that bring you joy. Make a list of them, and when you find yourself moving into the default mode, think about the things that bring you joy and contentment. Go over them in your mind.
Gratitude and Acceptance
Gratitude and acceptance are two of the major things that bring you joy and contentment. So it's important to concentrate on them. As in the case of joy, make up a gratitude list (it will probably be longer than your joy list). Think of everything you are grateful for. This should include such things as your family, financial situation, your health, your job security, your friends and so on. And even if some of these things are not as great as you would like them to be, it's important to remember that they could be worse. Most people - particularly when they are young - take their health for granted. But think about how you would feel if you lost it. We almost never think about the air we breathe. But many people struggle for air every day. And if you're young you likely assume cancer and heart disease affect only the old. But of course this isn't always the case.
Acceptance is also critical. It's important to have goals and motivation, but if you're never content you've got a problem. You may be postponing joy and happiness, and you may never get it. The idea is to accept what can't be changed, and put your energy into what can be changed. You have to learn to recognize each of these cases and take appropriate action. Life is too short to be fighting things that cannot possibly be changed (or have little chance of change). Non-acceptance can be hard on your health. Finally, it's particularly important to remember that this moment in your life will never come again. So enjoy it.
In conclusion remember that your thoughts have a lot to do with your happiness and health throughout your life, and it is important to control them. Stay away from the default mode as much as possible, and the way to do this is to concentrate on gratitude and acceptance. This will lead to greater joy and contentment.
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