Clothes don't make you who you are, unless you let them.
I wanted to buy a T-shirt saying, “Does this T-shirt make me look fat?” but it was too small.
It was my most recent low-self-esteem shopping moment. We have a lot of such moments thrust upon us by smart-alecky store mirrors, and our own inner demons. This is especially true when the mirrors are positioned under hideous florescent lighting, giving our flesh the seductive texture of pot cheese and our skin the greenish glow of Area 51. Under such conditions, women like Natalie Portman catch themselves looking bucktoothed and cross-eyed. Had Kim Kardashian glimpsed herself unawares in a bad full-length mirror at Kohl’s, she would have stayed married the first time, fearful that no one else would have her.
This explains why, when we try on, say, shoes you may see us playing with our hair while we look in the mirror. We’re evaluating shoes but not looking at our feet. It’s as if smoothing our bangs will somehow make a pair of ankle boots look better. Female CIA officers probably tuck a stray lock or two behind their ears when trying on hazmat suits.
This is all part of an elaborate effort to distract ourselves while attempting to preserve a semblance of composure and self-reliance. Is it such a surprise, really? After all, there’s not much we can do about our jaw-line or height, until somebody else sneaks into the mirror in front of us.
Most men don’t torture themselves this way. Few, for example, have never even tried on a T-shirt. They may just walk into Odd-Lot, Job Lot, or some other store with Lot in its name, go directly to the bin where 2,000 blue shirts are folded by size, hold one up to the light, decide, “It’s big enough," then buy four and leave, dressed for the year.
Most men do not perform acts of self-assessment, self-actualization, atonement, penance, or exorcism during shopping trips. They're more likely to see stores as, well, “stores” and not palaces of judgment. Their stores are places where products are available for purchase, some of which will fit them.
Too many women, in contrast, want to fit themselves into the products at a store. They try to be worthy of the item they want to purchase. Deep down, I fear this kind of insecurity has limited women at the highest of politics: If even intelligent, accomplished women still wonder whether they are "good enough" for a Chanel suit, they may not reach for posts with life-and-death responsibility.
We need to do better. We need to stop trying to fit ourselves into the world and start making sure the world begins to fit us.
You’ve probably never heard a guy say, “I want to be a 42 short by Christmas.” But just think about how many women you’ve heard announce, “I need to fit into a size 10 [or 6, or sub-zero] by New Year’s!”
Let’s celebrate life by banishing self-loathing—and ignoring unflattering mirrors.
They’re no reflection on us
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/snow-white-doesnt-live-here-anymore/201308/do-you-look-fat-in-who-cares
This explains why, when we try on, say, shoes you may see us playing with our hair while we look in the mirror. We’re evaluating shoes but not looking at our feet. It’s as if smoothing our bangs will somehow make a pair of ankle boots look better. Female CIA officers probably tuck a stray lock or two behind their ears when trying on hazmat suits.
This is all part of an elaborate effort to distract ourselves while attempting to preserve a semblance of composure and self-reliance. Is it such a surprise, really? After all, there’s not much we can do about our jaw-line or height, until somebody else sneaks into the mirror in front of us.
Most men don’t torture themselves this way. Few, for example, have never even tried on a T-shirt. They may just walk into Odd-Lot, Job Lot, or some other store with Lot in its name, go directly to the bin where 2,000 blue shirts are folded by size, hold one up to the light, decide, “It’s big enough," then buy four and leave, dressed for the year.
Most men do not perform acts of self-assessment, self-actualization, atonement, penance, or exorcism during shopping trips. They're more likely to see stores as, well, “stores” and not palaces of judgment. Their stores are places where products are available for purchase, some of which will fit them.
Too many women, in contrast, want to fit themselves into the products at a store. They try to be worthy of the item they want to purchase. Deep down, I fear this kind of insecurity has limited women at the highest of politics: If even intelligent, accomplished women still wonder whether they are "good enough" for a Chanel suit, they may not reach for posts with life-and-death responsibility.
We need to do better. We need to stop trying to fit ourselves into the world and start making sure the world begins to fit us.
You’ve probably never heard a guy say, “I want to be a 42 short by Christmas.” But just think about how many women you’ve heard announce, “I need to fit into a size 10 [or 6, or sub-zero] by New Year’s!”
Let’s celebrate life by banishing self-loathing—and ignoring unflattering mirrors.
They’re no reflection on us
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/snow-white-doesnt-live-here-anymore/201308/do-you-look-fat-in-who-cares
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