It’s great when you know exactly what you want your ideal partner to be like, but many of us don’t have a clear idea about it so it can be pretty difficult to focus on attracting him/her – you can’t really visualize if you don’t really know what it is that you want, can you?
So here’s a checklist to help you better define the essential qualities you want in your future partner. It will help you form a clearer image of what kind of partner you want, so that you can better focus on attracting him or her into your life.
Take a piece of paper, gather your thoughts and start writing down:
1. Values
Values you want to see in your ideal partner, such as work ethics you’d like him to have (or not), religious views (if this is important to you), having children, if you’d like him/her to be interested in healthy nutrition or exercises, whether you’re OK or not with your potential partner smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol…
2. Physical attributes
In your ideal world, what would your partner look like?
3. Personality
Would you like your partner to be extrovert or introvert, is the sense of humor or kindness something important to you, would you like him/her to be generous…
4. Emotional availability
Imagine what kind of connection you would like to have with him/her – do you want your partner to be willing to fully commit and how would you like him/her to show this readiness; do you want a partner who’ll be completely open to you or someone who handles most of their troubles alone.
5. Intellect
How important is it to you that your partner is a reader, a researcher, a philosopher…?
6. Sexuality
Write down what you want sexually in your partner. This is an important aspect of a relationship, so be specific and brave (it’s for your eyes only after all).
7. Finances
Be careful here not to fall into trap of writing down something as broad as “I want him/her to be rich”. Be specific – do you want your partner to be someone capable of making his/her fortune, someone who’s happy with just enough (if you’re that type), someone who can afford a decent life or someone who will be willing to work together with you on creating your financial future. Or something completely different of course, this is only to give you ideas
8. How your partner feels about you
Do you want him/her to respect you or to admire you, or is trust the most important in your relationship?
9. How you feel about him/her
Do you want to be mad about him/her or do you want someone to trust or someone to respect – or all of it?
10. Family and friends
What kind of connection you’d like him/her to have with people in their and with people in your life? Do you want someone who will make you a part of his/her family, or someone who will rather keep the distance and create a completely new life with you?
11. Lifestyle and interests
Do you want someone you’ll share your interests with? If so, which interests would you like them to share with you the most – love for travel, hiking, theater… or someone who will have their own hobby and leave you the time to do your thing?
12. Spirituality
Finally, if spirituality is something important to you, you can take this point into account as well – perhaps you’d like a spiritual guide or just someone to share your own spiritual journey with.
This list should help you define exactly what it is you seek. It doesn’t have to be definite, you can change things on it if you notice a different interest in yourself or if you think of something that hasn’t crossed your mind at the time of writing – but keep it in mind. It will help you stay way from all the “what if” potential relationships, and don’t be surprised if a year from now you notice that you’re sitting next to a person who embodies nearly all of the essential qualities you’ve written down today!
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